The Conservative Cave
Current Events => Blogs => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on September 26, 2009, 10:28:36 AM
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Washington DC - After a series of fits and starts the White House today announced it has come into full compliance the tough new environmental standards set forth by congress this year.
President Obama, once known for the brilliant, angelic radiance that accompanied him wherever he campaigned, has converted his beaming glow into a more energy-friendly Compact Flourescent Halo or CFH.
FULL STORY: http://bunnynewsnetwork.wordpress.com/
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White House Trumpets New Environmental Compliance
You could fill a book with stories on that headline.
In ever increasing environmentalism the Whitehouse has decided to live off the land. From now until the end of his term, which some say won't be to long, the Obama family will only eat what Michelle Obama grows in the Whitehouse garden and animals that Mr. Obama catches on the Whitehouse lawn.
Michelles garden hasn't done so well but Mr. Obama has had much success with his traps and snares set about the Whitehouse grounds. So far he has snared two old hippies and a Muslim terrorist. He released the Muslim terrorist because Michelle Obama doesn't eat dark meat.
With the forecast of a cold winter ahead in Washington, Michelle O has had to hit the slum shopping districts in search of fur lined 'long johns' for the first family. No, the Whitehouse thermostat is still set on 82 degrees and will remain so for the duration. Mrs. Obama and The first girls demanded the fur lined long johns with an oversize trap door when they were informed by the President that from now on they would all be shitting in the organic Whitehouse garden.
Mr Obama had ordered NASA to build a solar powered, heated toilet seat on a stool for the first family to use. The seat/stool was to be ready before the winter of 2009/10 but NASA failed in it's first three attempts and then were further hampered when they ran out of funding for the project. In an emergency session, the US Congress approved a budget increase to 28 billion dollars to cover the cost over runs. Barney Frank, in an emotional speech made to the House of Representatives, pleaded for more funds for the project. Barney Frank, with tears in his eyes, stated, "It's a sorry state of affairs when The President of The United States of America has to drag the "first hose" in the dirt, making it unfit for human cumsumption."
The Whitehouse expects to return to functioning normally as soon as the polls indicate that 90% of Mr. Obama worshippers believe this shit. Things should return to normal as soon as the polls can be completed or less than 24 business hours, whichever comes first.
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Swell, the forum nobody reads.
I would've settled for COmedy Central.