Author Topic: gnomish Dave going to live off girlfriend, ride on gravy train may be in peril  (Read 5317 times)

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Offline franksolich

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https://jackpineradicals.com/boards/topic/so-im-engaged/

Oh my.

I dunno if this is the same girlfriend who he bummed off before and a had child by her, all three of them ending up on welfare.

Place: rustic northernmost Maine, reminiscent of Stephen King novels.

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David the Gnome     February 12, 2019 at 9:14 AM

I haven’t posted anything here for a while – am hoping for JPR 4.0 to liven things up, but…

My girlfriend and I are engaged – tentatively planning a wedding for late September.  The problem is… I do not yet know how it’s going to effect my SSI benefits.  I suspect that the result will greatly reduce them – but I do not know (and no one I have asked seems able to tell me) if it will eliminate them completely.  I recently (about a week ago) moved in with her, about 45 miles away from my old home.  I called SSI, the postal service, the DMV, filled out address change forms online and told who (I think) I had to, but though I am going to be paying my fair share of expenses and helping with everything (paying about 350 a month towards it all, total – car costs 200 – so it’s a bit more than I actually get each month) SSI has not told me whether my payment will increase from 514 to the max – 771.

Whether it does or not – with SSI, when you get married a portion of your spouse’s income is “deemed” to you (basically, their income is counted as being your income, as well) and the formula used by social security to determine how much – and whether or not you keep your benefits, is complex.  I’ve tried for over a month to get ahold of the lawyer who represented me in my SSI case – can’t get a call back, a text, nothing.  I’ve left messages on his voice mail, with his secretary, but…

So I tried calling social security and asking them, they were unable to tell me specifically, I was told (weeks ago now) that a case worker would call me back to discuss it.  Well, no call yet.  My fiancé (understandably) wants to make plans… like yesterday – and we are discussing them, invitations, who to invite, how big the wedding will be, honeymoon ideas/expenses, etc. but in the back of my mind is this panic “If I lose SSI, it won’t work, we won’t have enough”.

She earns approximately 13.70 an hour, working full time.*  So about 28.5K per year.  I suspect that might be too high for me to keep getting disability payments – but without them… without them I’d have to move back in with my parents.  So I’m not sure what to do, really.  She and I have known each other for about six years now, dated for a year and a half a few years ago – and got back together a little over a year ago, finally decided we wanted to get married.  I bought the engagement ring we picked out together – and am trying to plan out a romantic proposal, but…

I don’t know if that would cost me my benefits.  If so, I am not ready to go back to work yet – I almost certainly will not be ready by the chosen marriage date in September.

Does anyone here have any ideas?  I’ve googled so much and read so much on this that my eyes hurt – but can still not determine the answer.  She owns her own home, with a mortgage, I own a car, that I still owe about 1200 against (market value is probably 1500, if not less, it’s a 2008 ford focus), I don’t really have any assets worth mentioning.  She has an account with a thousand dollars in it, a 401K, health insurance through work (she’s a CSR for a local heating oil/propane company) beyond that… there’s not much.

Does anyone know what the income limit would be for the two of us together for me to maintain any of my SSI benefit?  I’m really worried at this point that getting married just isn’t something you can do on disability, unless your intended is very, very poor.  Maybe there’s a loophole or something… I Don’t know.  Any advice, or information would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks for reading.

*too bad gnomish Dave doesn't follow her lead, and go out and work for a living.

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David the Gnome     February 12, 2019 at 1:12 PM

Living in sin is what my dad suggested too.  I was hoping that my lawyer or someone could find a way that we could get married without losing my income.  Well, it doesnt look like that’s going to be possible.  Thank you all for looking for me, and for caring.

It will pass I am sure, but right now I feel extremely guilty and depressed.  Bought her the ring and everything.  Ironically, my lawyer called shortly after I wrote this and explained the “spousal income/deemed amount” thing better.  In short, no.  She makes too much.

Had to explain it to her during her lunch break.  Breaks my stupid bleeding heart to see her cry.  She doesnt blame me, tells me it’s not my fault, but I feel guilty anyway.

I could rage at the injustice, write letters, make phone calls, yell at the bean counters that determine funding for SSI and the rules for it.. maybe later I will.  Right now though…

More sad than pissed off.  Maybe it won’t be forever, maybe in time I will find a way to make my own money.*  Or maybe in the future we will take advantage of her dual citizenship (she needs to apply, but qualifies) in Canada.

In the meantime, cant help thinking about those tax cuts for the rich.  The way Trump, Romney and their ilk call us all takers.  Perhaps one day, the American people will take back from them what they have taken from us.

Thanks everyone.  Going to lay down for a while.

*the best way of making one's own money is by working in a job.
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Offline franksolich

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the backstory, in reverse chronological order:

gnomish dave upset about his food stamps being reduced (January 31, 2019)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=119584.0

it's never enough for gnomish dave (January 07, 2019)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=119446.0

gnomish dave socially frustrated (August 07, 2018)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=118651.0

gnomish Dave plays Job again (June 24, 2018)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=118329.0

gnomish Dave is anxious (June 13, 2018)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=118293.0

davidthegnome drops his pants (June 09, 2018)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=118267.0

gnomish dave jackpiner gets diagnosed (June 01, 2018)
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=118211.0
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Offline BamaMoose

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Living in sin is what my dad suggested too

His Dad is desperate to get his lazy ass out of Dad's house and checkbook.  Everyday, Dad probably ponders the morality of tossing his ass on the street to starve.

Offline FlaGator

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To quote Larry the Cable Guy - to the tune of Little Drummer Boy
"Get a job you bum, bum, bum, bum.
Money don't grow on trees you bum, bum, bum, bum.
"My enemy's enemy is the enemy I kill last."
Klingon Proverb.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Seeing that his scam may be running dry he proposes marriage to emotionally manipulate a woman.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

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avid the Gnome     February 12, 2019 at 1:12 PM

Living in sin is what my dad suggested too.  I was hoping that my lawyer or someone could find a way that we could get married without losing my income.  Well, it doesnt look like that’s going to be possible.  Thank you all for looking for me, and for caring.

It will pass I am sure, but right now I feel extremely guilty and depressed.  Bought her the ring and everything. Ironically, my lawyer called shortly after I wrote this and explained the “spousal income/deemed amount” thing better.  In short, no.  She makes too much.

Did you buy that on credit putting yourself in more debt or might that money have been better used to pay off the $1200 car?  Scammers gotta scam.  :censored:
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Offline franksolich

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Did you buy that on credit putting yourself in more debt or might that money have been better used to pay off the $1200 car?  Scammers gotta scam.

If this isn't the ex-girlfriend by whom he had a kid--I'm not sure if it is, or isn't--in a fair and just world, she'd find out about his windfall largesse and sue him for unpaid past child support.
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If this isn't the ex-girlfriend by whom he had a kid--I'm not sure if it is, or isn't--in a fair and just world, she'd find out about his windfall largesse and sue him for unpaid past child support.

Oooo positively evil! I like the cut of your jib sir.  :cheersmate:
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Offline franksolich

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If this isn't the ex-girlfriend by whom he had a kid--I'm not sure if it is, or isn't--in a fair and just world, she'd find out about his windfall largesse and sue him for unpaid past child support.

Okay, so I went through it with a fine-toothed comb; being human like everybody else, sometimes I read too fast, and fail to pick up important details.

He says he's known her for six years--gnomish Dave is in his mid-thirties--and so this isn't the ex-girlfriend with the kid, the two of them having to rely upon public assistance because gnomish Dave shirks his responsibilities to them.

If the ex gets into all this, trying to get some of his windfall, this could be interesting.
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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This guy too mentally/emotionally damaged to have a job but not too damaged to prevent him from dating and getting engaged to be married.  :whatever:

From one of Frank's links:
Quote
davidthegnome (2618 posts)    April 27, 2018 at 8:36 am

I finally got a real diagnosis.

It occurred to me yesterday – as I was driving the 80 some miles to meet with a Psychologist – that I had never had a full psych eval.  It took me nearly half a year, even with medicaid, to set it up, but, yesterday, finally, I got one.  I learned some interesting things about myself – that I had suspected for quite a while but never really been quite sure of.  Funny, I never knew you could have all of these separate disorders, but here it is:

1. Bipolar 2 (less extreme highs and lows, more depressive than bipolar 1 – which is how most people think of bipolar disorder – mania, etc.)

2. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Yep, I knew that one)

3. Social Anxiety Disorder

4. General Anxiety Disorder

5. Agoraphobia
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Offline Old n Grumpy

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She earns approximately 13.70 an hour, working full time.*  So about 28.5K per year.

Sounds like you need to get her to work more hours or get a part time job. Does she make good sammiches?  :-)
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Offline franksolich

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Sounds like you need to get her to work more hours or get a part time job. Does she make good sammiches?  :-)

The guy is obviously mathematics-deficient.

So, living on his father's dime he gets $514 per month free disability ("free" because he never paid into it).  Living where he has to pay his own rent he gets $771 per month free disability ("free" because he never paid into it).

He loses his free money by marrying her, because of her high income; she'd end up supporting him 100%.

Working the same sort of customer service representative job as what this current girlfriend has, he'd get about $2200 per month.  A customer service job isn't especially onerous--all one has to do is be nice to people--and otherwise like his pal Omaha Steve he's just laying around on the couch all day, watching television and playing computer games.

If he did the math, he'd figure it out.  Working would require only a little tiny bit more inconvenience (one has to be a certain place that isn't home, for about eight hours a day), but it'd pay a Hell of a lot more.
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Offline DUmpsterDiver

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> David the GeeMoan - I don’t know if that would cost me my benefits.  If so, I am not ready to go back to work yet

You and about a few billion other lazy, useless whiners should be denied all assistance from we that keep our
nose on the grindstone and out of the pills.  Take your trophies for last place and grind them into something useful.

You have no excuse for your self inflicted misery. 

Offline franksolich

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> David the GeeMoan - I don’t know if that would cost me my benefits.  If so, I am not ready to go back to work yet

You and about a few billion other lazy, useless whiners should be denied all assistance from we that keep our
nose on the grindstone and out of the pills.  Take your trophies for last place and grind them into something useful.

You have no excuse for your self inflicted misery.

I'm waiting in breathless anticipation for the old girlfriend by whom he had a child learns of his good fortune, and demands part of it for child support.  I'm sure it's going to provide a good show.
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Offline DUmpsterDiver

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Dave (not here nor there) Genome: I bought the engagement ring we picked out together – and am trying to plan out a romantic proposal, but…

That's the way it goes in this day and age.
You ain't gotta read between the lines you just gotta turn the page.,
Well the most outlaw thing that I've ever done was give a good woman a ring,
But that's the way it goes, life ain't fair and the world is mean...

Offline Texacon

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This guy just proves how powerful the draw of free to him money is. He’s willing to not marry the love of his life if it means he has to work for a living.

I say throw ****ers like this to the wolves.

KC
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Offline USA4ME

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This chick has to be dumber than a bag of hammers to even consider marrying this loser.

.
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Offline franksolich

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NV Wino     February 12, 2019 at 9:54 AM

First, it’s ridiculous that you can’t get the information you need. That should be readily available on your state’s website or social security website.

Second, unless she is willing to completely support you, live in sin.

Seriously, David, you just got your life straightened out. Don’t jump into another situation to cause you more stress.

Too late.  It's gonna be a good show, especially after the ex shows up, kid in tow.
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Offline BamaMoose

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Several years ago, a Dummy posted about refusing a promotion because the increase in salary would impact his "free" medical care (Medicare or some variant).  Normal people seek to grow in their professions and increase their earning potential.  DUmmies target is to maintain a minimum wage job while exploiting Government services and trying to figure out how to further game the system.  Then they bitch about how normal people can actually afford stuff that is beyond their reach.  The concept of working, and reaping the rewards of that work, are totally lost on them.

Offline franksolich

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The concept of working, and reaping the rewards of that work, are totally lost on them.

It's like trying to explain the homogenization of milk to a Martian, or Fermat's Theorem to a penguin, or how to unlock a door to Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez; they just don't get it.
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Offline Texacon

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It's like trying to explain the homogenization of milk to a Martian, or Fermat's Theorem to a penguin, or how to unlock a door to Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez; they just don't get it.


 :lmao:

KC
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Offline Texacon

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Several years ago, a Dummy posted about refusing a promotion because the increase in salary would impact his "free" medical care (Medicare or some variant).  Normal people seek to grow in their professions and increase their earning potential.  DUmmies target is to maintain a minimum wage job while exploiting Government services and trying to figure out how to further game the system.  Then they bitch about how normal people can actually afford stuff that is beyond their reach.  The concept of working, and reaping the rewards of that work, are totally lost on them.


There wasn't much said about it, but this kind of happened in Washington when they passed the $15/hour minimum wage.  A lot of those folks quit their jobs because it was too much for them to get their handouts.  They don't want a living wage, they want free shit.  Period.

KC
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline landofconfusion80

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That's some nice handout you got there. Shame if something happened to it
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20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)

Offline DUmpsterDiver

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Genome Dave Girlfriend has been found...

She’s kinda like a super hero walkin down the avenue Incognito alter ego someone that you thought you knew.
Unassuming mild mannered boiling inside Double cross her and there won’t be nowhere you can hide.
She’s kinda like a super villain in a leather body suit,
A deadly feline smooth and refined dangerously cute Purring like a feral kitten claws as sharp as razor wire,
Slice you into little pieces if you’re fool enough to try her.
She’s kinda like a secret agent living between life and death,
Blow her cover and you’ll likely breathe your last and final breath.
Sneaking like a hungry panther prowling hunting through the night,
People tell me stay away but I don’t know I think I might....
Might like to take a chance and throw all caution to the wind,
Been damned from the beginning what the Hells another sin.
With any luck her x-ray vision won’t see through my creepy skin,
I’ll lace her drink with kryptonite and hope she lets me in.
She’s kinda like a classic sculpture legs all the way up to there,
Porcelain skin and eyes like diamonds gazing through her raven hair.
Pretty certain she will lead me to my premature demise,
But I’d risk it all to pull that mask off see what’s under that disguise.
But maybe that’s the whiskey talking empty boasting of a coward,
I don’t have a leg to stand on I ain’t got no super powers,
A snowball rollin down through Hell has got a better chance than me,
I’ll pour another then another pass out watchin my tv.
She’s kinda like a super hero fighting crime and feces like that,
I’m kinda like a loser zero drinking beer and getting fat.
She’s kinda like the kind’ve girl that don’t end up with guys like me,
She’s kinda like the way that everything is always gonna be...

Offline Patriot Guard Rider

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There wasn't much said about it, but this kind of happened in Washington when they passed the $15/hour minimum wage.  A lot of those folks quit their jobs because it was too much for them to get their handouts.  They don't want a living wage, they want free shit.  Period.

KC

I remember watching a documentary on youtube (there are a bunch of them so I don't remember which one or I'd link it), but it had to do with the working poor. One of the women interviewed was a woman of color (or colored woman, not sure what the difference is) who was making about $8 per hour. She was getting section 8, child care and other assorted bennies. She was promoted to supervisor and was given a raise to $11 per hour. Being how she was dependent on the government for house and so forth she had to report her income increase. She was told she'd have to pony up more money for rent, pay into her child care, and other assorted things. She went back and turned the promotion down figuring she made more on $8 per hour with the bennies than she would with $11 per hour.

Now what she doesn't realize is, democrats who invented this system, accomplished their goal. Dems don't even want people on assistance getting out on their own because they might just start thinking for themselves. So, they make it almost impossible to move up and get off assistance by reducing benefits for even the most modest of increases. Social workers don't want people off welfare, they'd be working themselves out of a job.

I knew (and still do) a girl in Georgia (this is 25 years ago) who was on assistance (she's white by the way) and wound up getting a job. When she went to the government to report her income they told her everything she'd lose and did she want to reconsider, she (the girl) told the social worker hell no I won't reconsider. I'm sick of depending on the government.

So, she relied on family for childcare, worked her ass off, went to college, got a degree and is a successful real estate agent in the Atlanta area. She lives in a $500k house and is fabulously conservative.

If people want to get out of the cycle they can, not without pain, but it can be done.
Liberals disgust me. (Now I don't have to remember to put it on each post).

Because only the left goes searching for that which is not there in a desperate attempt to be offended about something.

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