I would just sell the house and move.
I think you have the answer there.
I've never had a router die. It's always been the modem. Of course I live in lightning world so it's understandable.
I do have problems at the router lever all the time. Especially when the laptop is coming up from hibernation. It does the same thing you describe. I just go unplug and replug the router. No long waits. The few times the modem has temporarily stroked out, I suspect from a TWC burp that releases my IP number I have to get more inventive.
Shut down wireless networking on your computer. If you don't have a sexy button like mine then a shut down works.
Unplug the modem and router.
Replug the modem and wait until it reconnects totally and the lights get normal. (longer than a minute here)
Then replug up the wireless router and do the same, wait until the lights all normalize.
Then punch the button or turn back on the computer.
The whole thing should take almost 5 minutes for a full reboot of everything cold. It drives me nuts.