diet cola primitive gets fancy food thrown into trash

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x68750

Oh my.

The diet cola primitive, who doesn't open the door to the oven and check inside, before he turns on the oven:

Tab  (1000+ posts)        Thu Sep-10-09 09:00 PM
Original message
 
(araahh....) son of a bitch
 
Every once in a while go on a "mastery" spree where I make it my point to learn how to properly cook pizza, or ribs, salmon, or whatever. Tne on-again-off-again challenge has been calimari. Made more difficult because my family will grudgingly eat the results - although as I immprove and their revulstion/reluctance falls by the wayside, there is improvement. Mind you, I am not looking or crap you dip in marinara. Marainara is fine, but I want stuff that will stand on its own in all its buttery salty goodness.

I have only two reference points - a restaurant in NJ that made it PERFECT, and another here in NH that was damned closed. I'm sure there were some in California but I wasn't paying attention out there.

So everyone once in a while I buy squid. Cheap enough - like $1/lb. I take a little, process it a certain way (oil it, salt it, bread it, whatever I'm trying, sautee it, fry it).

So, halfway through I oiled everything with a mixture, then the rest was to be subject to varietes like breaded in oil, dipped in buttermilk and drredged in flavored flour, etc.

Tonight was the grand finale. Of all nights I was going to try the lemon sea-salt flour pepppered liberally, etc., etc.,

Tonight is Thursday.

Thursday is garbage night.

I was at a class. My wife cleaeed out the fridge in the process of making room, including my my penultimate calimary wunderdish. The dish sits now clean, but bereft of wonderfulu tastes, in the dishwasher.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Went to make a dish
But only farted

(sorry for the fractured tunes)

Gormy Cuss  (1000+ posts)      Thu Sep-10-09 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
 
1. Bummer. 

I haven't tried to make fried calimari at home but I still feel your pain.

The hefty primitive:

madmax  (1000+ posts)      Fri Sep-11-09 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
 
2. I'm sorry Tab

Great post and I know you're really bummed out but, you gave me a belly laugh with the last paragraph and the poem.

eridani  (1000+ posts)        Fri Sep-11-09 03:42 AM
Response to Original message
 
3. I HATE it when that happens.

Not too often since DH is properly trained.

That old graffiti classic always reminds me of one DN saw in the men's room at a truck stop.

Here I sit with a broken heart
Popped six pills and my truck won't start.

Someone else wrote underneath--

If your pills were worth a ****
You'd get out and HAUL that truck.

[JohnnyReb]

My recipe for home made calimari.

Put it in a pot containing the drainings of 5 year old antifreeze and radiator flush, boil for 20 minutes, now coat with axle grease and roll in barnyard dirt, place in preheated frying pan containg hot burnt motor oil, preferrable from a heavy duty Detroit Diesel such as a locamotive engine, for 15 minutes, turn every 3 minutes. Now throw out the calimari and drink the hot oil.....if you awake from a coma....repeat above.

[franksolich]

Back when I was in college, I lived in a "party house" with a bunch of other guys from the Sandhills of Nebraska.  One of our roommates was an "art" major, and a moonbat to boot.

One already knows what sort of "art" "art" majors turn out, so never mind.

One summer day, when a bunch of us were cleaning house, we set an "art" project on the lawn outside, so as to make more room, with the idea of retrieving it after the house was cleaned out.

The thing, whatever it was, was pretty bulky and made of galvanized steel.

While we were busy inside, the garbagemen came to get the trash, and thinking the "art" project had simply fallen away, walked over to pick it up, and into the garbage truck it went.

To be honest, it was an honest mistake.

[Karin]

Thanks for the laugh, you two!   

I think Tab's wife did that on purpose.  He already said his family didn't really like calimari, so why does he go to all that fuss?  I'll be damned if I'm going to slave over a hot stove for my husband to say "Oh.  This." 

[JohnnyReb]

An almost true story but for the honesty of one man.

Had an art show in town...a fellow worked on his wife's' car in the yard nextdoor to the place of the art exhibit...he used an old bedsheet to lay on and 2 towels to wipe his hands on....he cleaned them as best he could for later use and hung them on the clothes line to dry....5 art critics/judges were judging it as a proformance art piece when he went out into his yard and asked them what the hell they were doing in his yard..... He later said, "I had a chance at "Best of Show" if I had keep my mouth shut."

[DumbAss Tanker]

Maybe she chucked it because she saw the receipt for it from "Old Jim's Bait Shop."

[Rebel]

My recipe for home made calimari.

Put it in a pot containing the drainings of 5 year old antifreeze and radiator flush, boil for 20 minutes, now coat with axle grease and roll in barnyard dirt, place in preheated frying pan containg hot burnt motor oil, preferrable from a heavy duty Detroit Diesel such as a locamotive engine, for 15 minutes, turn every 3 minutes. Now throw out the calimari and drink the hot oil.....if you awake from a coma....repeat above.

Down here, we have a way to turn Calamari into 15 pound Red Snapper. 

[JohnnyReb]

Down here, we have a way to turn Calamari into 15 pound Red Snapper. 

I might try some of that.....