« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 3 [4]   Go Down

Author Topic: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana  (Read 19800 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #75 on: December 21, 2014, 04:45:28 PM »
Okay, the ten runners-up, nine of whose names have been thus far revealed, know that they're not among the Top Ten or winners of any of the special awards, thus being deprived being skewered by the poison pen of franksolich.

They can breathe easy; their suspense is over with.

Now's a good time to let two other primitives off the hook, so that they may go to work Monday morning carefree and in good cheer, knowing that they're not part of the Top Ten.

Much to my personal relief, they didn't make it, because writing awards for them would strain my literary abilities to the limit, possibly breaking them, turning franksolich utterly inarticulate and incoherent.

I really sweated that one, or perhaps even both, of them would make the cut, and that professlonal obligations in writing the awards for my fellow alum Skins and my good pal Manny would destroy any goodwill between us.

But whew, they didn't make it.
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #76 on: December 21, 2014, 05:08:26 PM »
Okay, here's the tentative schedule for release of the awards--keep in mind however that "man proposes, and God disposes," or "if you want to hear God laugh, tell God your plans."

And hence the tentative.

December 24, Christmas Eve:
the Willie, for the most memorable primitive
#10 Top DUmmie of 2014

December 25, Christmas Day:
#09 Top DUmmie of 2014
the Steve, for the primitive who most made an ass of himself

December 26:
the nadin, for the primitive who thinks himself smarter than God
#08 Top DUmmie of 2014

December 27:
#07 Top DUmmie of 2014
the Skippy, for the most paranoid primitive

December 28:
the stewert, for the freeloadingest primitive
#06 Top DUmmie of 2014

December 29:
#05 Top DUmmie of 2014
the group award

December 30:
#04 Top DUmmie of 2014
#03 Top Dummie of 2014
#02 Top DUmmie of 2014

December 31, New Year's Eve:
the franksolich
Top DUmmie of 2014
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline obumazombie

  • Siege engine to lib fortresses
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21814
  • Reputation: +1659/-578
  • Last of the great minorities
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #77 on: December 21, 2014, 05:15:22 PM »
Can these dates align with the college football bowl season games ?
Maybe some of the bowls can be named after them.
Logged
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #78 on: December 21, 2014, 05:22:39 PM »
Quote from: obumazombie on December 21, 2014, 05:15:22 PM

I can't make up any schedule until I know the whole slate of winners--and trust me, this is the solidest roster of winners I've ever seen in all the years of the Top DUmmies, not a single one unworthy.

I don't want cases to happen where a primitive wins both top DUmmiedom and a special award, and so both pieces on the same day would be about the same primitive.

I wait to see the list first, and then juggle the schedule accordingly; because these top DUmmies are s-o-o-o-o-o-o excellent, I didn't have to juggle anything this year.
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline BattleHymn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8750
  • Reputation: +974/-63
  • Not right, but not left, either.
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #79 on: December 21, 2014, 05:33:42 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 21, 2014, 04:30:57 PM
#12 Top DUmmie of 2014: graham4anything

You guys that voted for this primitive- is he largely active over at the DU Jr.? 

The last I could recall him was when he got booted from the island last year. 
Logged

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #80 on: December 21, 2014, 05:35:07 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on December 21, 2014, 05:33:42 PM
You guys that voted for this primitive- is he largely active over at the DU Jr.? 

The last I could recall him was when he got booted from the island last year.

He did get tossed off, during one of the first few days of January 2014.

But that met the requirements for being nominated and elected.
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #81 on: December 21, 2014, 05:37:08 PM »
#11 Top DUmmie of 2014: KingCharlemagne
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #82 on: December 21, 2014, 05:45:59 PM »
Okay, this is it; I'm going to have to bow out for now, as I have to work straight from this evening (Sunday evening) until Tuesday afternoon, and will be able to check only randomly at odd times.

After I get some sleep Tuesday, I'll start writing the awards.

However, I'm leaving this non-award thread unlocked and stickied to the top, to accumulate further comments, if any.

Past winners, including the non-winners named in this thread, can be found at:
http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=66225.0
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Tess Anderson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4058
  • Reputation: +2696/-30
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #83 on: December 21, 2014, 06:04:28 PM »
cali/kentuck/NYC_SKP/nadin/Peggy probably comprise half of the top ten . . .

Speaking of dead, near-dead DUmmies, does anybody know anything about Peg's pal, WCGreen? He's still alive AFAIK.
Logged

Offline BattleHymn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8750
  • Reputation: +974/-63
  • Not right, but not left, either.
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #84 on: December 21, 2014, 06:10:59 PM »
Quote from: Tess Anderson on December 21, 2014, 06:04:28 PM
cali/kentuck/NYC_SKP/nadin/Peggy probably comprise half of the top ten . . .

Speaking of dead, near-dead DUmmies, does anybody know anything about Peg's pal, WCGreen? He's still alive AFAIK.

As far as I know, he's still sponging off good and decent people by sitting at death's door and refusing to knock. 

Or, maybe he's slipped out of his mortal coil, and nobody bothered to notice or say anything, (like Kirk, Doug, et al).  With Calpig firmly in his corner blabbing her huge gaping maw, you'd expect it to be hard to miss.

Logged

Offline BattleHymn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8750
  • Reputation: +974/-63
  • Not right, but not left, either.
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #85 on: December 21, 2014, 06:17:13 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 21, 2014, 05:37:08 PM
#11 Top DUmmie of 2014: KingCharlemagne

Another johnny-come-lately that I've missed in the shuffle. 

With the first ten out of the way, I only had two that I can cross off of my votes.  I had the big guy, Omaha Steve slated in the #10 spot.  He finished at #18.  This might be Steve's last year, who knows.  I had diabeticman as my #5 spot, and he eventually finished at #15.  The rest are all top-shelf primitives, so I'm hoping for some good things.   :popcorn: 

Logged

Offline obumazombie

  • Siege engine to lib fortresses
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21814
  • Reputation: +1659/-578
  • Last of the great minorities
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #86 on: December 21, 2014, 06:53:06 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 21, 2014, 05:37:08 PM
#11 Top DUmmie of 2014: KingCharlemagne

That's 3 in binary.
He might as well be awarded a bronze medal and stand on the podium.
Logged
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline Big Dog

  • ^^Smokes cigars and knows things.
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15581
  • Reputation: +1954/-213
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #87 on: December 21, 2014, 07:21:40 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on December 21, 2014, 03:34:30 PM
Off the top of my head, I'm going to assume it's head hair, as there is a pair of scissors pictured next to the scalp, and not a hedge trimmer.

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Logged
Government is the negation of liberty.
  -Ludwig von Mises

CAVE FVROREM PATIENTIS.

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58694
  • Reputation: +3069/-173
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #88 on: December 22, 2014, 09:12:11 AM »
Quote from: Tess Anderson on December 21, 2014, 06:04:28 PM
cali/kentuck/NYC_SKP/nadin/Peggy probably comprise half of the top ten . . .

Ah, you're somewhat right, but not completely so.

One of those primitives can sleep like an infant, knowing that the poison pen of franksolich is stayed.

<<<not giving away any secrets, just trying to build speculation and suspense.
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline whiffleball

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2161
  • Reputation: +95/-21
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #89 on: December 23, 2014, 11:57:24 AM »
I may as well have not voted.  Six of my top ten picks have been eliminated. 
Logged

Offline USA4ME

  • Evil Capitalist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14587
  • Reputation: +2285/-76
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #90 on: December 23, 2014, 12:41:23 PM »
#11 Top DUmmie of 2014: KingCharlemagne
#12 Top DUmmie of 2014: graham4anything
#13 Top DUmmie of 2014: fizzgig
#14 Top DUmmie of 2014: MineralMan
#15 Top DUmmie of 2014: diabeticman
#16 Top DUmmie of 2014: grasswire
#17 Top DUmmie of 2014: malaise
#18 Top DUmmie of 2014: Omaha Steve
#19 Top DUmmie of 2014: darkangel218
#20 Top DUmmie of 2014: Aerows

Just easier to see them all.

.
Logged
Because third world peasant labor is a good thing.

Offline Skul

  • Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12475
  • Reputation: +914/-179
  • Chief of the cathouse
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #91 on: December 23, 2014, 07:48:48 PM »
I expected Aerows, to finish much higher.
Same with the fizzgig.
Logged
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline BattleHymn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8750
  • Reputation: +974/-63
  • Not right, but not left, either.
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #92 on: December 23, 2014, 08:03:14 PM »
Quote from: Skul on December 23, 2014, 07:48:48 PM
I expected Aerows, to finish much higher.
Same with the fizzgig.

There is always next year for fizzgig, but I think the Aerows primitive gave its best shot with the raccoon & rabies spiel. 
Logged

Offline Big Dog

  • ^^Smokes cigars and knows things.
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15581
  • Reputation: +1954/-213
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #93 on: December 23, 2014, 08:09:53 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on December 23, 2014, 08:03:14 PM
There is always next year for fizzgig, but I think the Aerows primitive gave its best shot with the raccoon & rabies spiel.

Just wait 'til 2015. Aerows will get tag-teamed by two mangy raccoons and date-raped by a honey badger with herpes!

<<-- Expecting big things from ol' Coon Bait next year.
Logged
Government is the negation of liberty.
  -Ludwig von Mises

CAVE FVROREM PATIENTIS.

Offline BattleHymn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8750
  • Reputation: +974/-63
  • Not right, but not left, either.
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #94 on: December 23, 2014, 08:52:19 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on December 23, 2014, 08:09:53 PM
Just wait 'til 2015. Aerows will get tag-teamed by two mangy raccoons and date-raped by a honey badger with herpes!

<<-- Expecting big things from ol' Coon Bait next year.

And since she's around so many rough rethuglicans where she's at, fartraped, too. 
Logged

Offline tanstaafl

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1409
  • Reputation: +110/-22
  • I AM the NRA. And I VOTE
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #95 on: December 24, 2014, 09:16:51 AM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on December 21, 2014, 12:00:28 PM
Yeah, agreed.  This has got to be the best way to handle the "no banana" primitives.  Aspiring primitives could gain a lot of information on how to end up in the Top Ten, if only they read this thread.  It's as chocked full of hints and tips as one of Grasswipe Judy's posts.

Oh, trust me. They're reading it.
Logged

Offline DumbAss Tanker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 28493
  • Reputation: +1707/-151
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #96 on: December 24, 2014, 09:37:05 AM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 22, 2014, 09:12:11 AM
Ah, you're somewhat right, but not completely so.

One of those primitives can sleep like an infant, knowing that the poison pen of franksolich is stayed.

<<<not giving away any secrets, just trying to build speculation and suspense.

A pity RedQueen or one of the other principal Riders of the Femapocalypse wasn't in that bunch (Bainsbane may count on that score, but she's nuts for other reasons as well), shrieking that male heterosexuality is rape.  Sadly, I got tied up with mundane affairs and neglected to nominate any candidates.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2014, 09:40:18 AM by DumbAss Tanker »
Logged
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline obumazombie

  • Siege engine to lib fortresses
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21814
  • Reputation: +1659/-578
  • Last of the great minorities
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #97 on: December 24, 2014, 10:34:33 AM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on December 23, 2014, 08:52:19 PM
And since she's around so many rough rethuglicans where she's at, fartraped, too.

With a good bit of man spreading thrown in for good measure.
Logged
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline BattleHymn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8750
  • Reputation: +974/-63
  • Not right, but not left, either.
Re: Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana
« Reply #98 on: December 24, 2014, 12:59:23 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on December 24, 2014, 09:37:05 AM
A pity RedQueen or one of the other principal Riders of the Femapocalypse wasn't in that bunch (Bainsbane may count on that score, but she's nuts for other reasons as well), shrieking that male heterosexuality is rape.  Sadly, I got tied up with mundane affairs and neglected to nominate any candidates.

There are still 8 more spots.  Hold out hope, brother!
Logged
Pages: 1 2 3 [4]   Go Up
« previous next »