voting thread for the Top Ten DUmmies of 2014

[USA4ME]

My Top Ten

1) cali

She an out-of-her-mind loon and keeps the board stirred up with her insane rantings concerning things she can't hope to understand nor can she do anything about. When you shoot down her ridiculous viewpoints, she comes back and says something that's so stupid the best responses is to just let it sit there and expose itself. That is, if the other primitives were smart enough to realize just how stupid what she said really is, which is always in question with the inferior thoughts emanating from the primitives.

2) MannyGoldstein

His "Third Way Manny" routine is a hoot because he both angers the 'Dear Leader can do no wrong' worshippers while simultaneously screaming to the world just how kooky the far left of the far left really is. But he's serious and actually thinks he's smart. Double bonus.

3) seabeyond

Gotta give kudos to the bimbo who keeps the primitive feminazi's in perpetual seething anger mode.

4) bravenak

Gotta give kudos to the bobblehead who keeps the primitive blacks in perpetual seething anger mode.

5) WillyT

Like Manny, another kook who is constantly trying to drum up the 99% vs 1% revolution and turn the USA into a country that represents the worst of the USSR and DPRK.

Remaining 5--

6) TheMastersNemisis (major loon)
7) darkangel1982 (major whiner)
8) kentuck (consistent loon)
9) mopinko (hope she loses her farm)
10) MineralMan (DU's resident father figure a/k/a the crazy old aunt in the attic)

Still working on the individual awards, but wanted to print my picks for the main event.

.

[BattleHymn]

Well, my votes are finally in.  I literally had to toss a coin to make a few choices, as I had a really hard time paring down my list to just ten, much less selecting my weighted choices.

I think part of the problem was with nads being absent, it was hard to pick a clear front-runner.  The other problem was that the nominations this year were really, really good.   

[obumazombie]

Not a right and proper poll.

[franksolich]

I literally had to toss a coin to make a few choices, as I had a really hard time paring down my list to just ten, much less selecting my weighted choices.

The easy way to do this is to recall some primitives first, and then check to see if they're on the ballot.  And if one recalls them, it's pretty likely they're on the ballot.

.....the nominations this year were really, really good.

Other than nadin, though, they were pretty much the "B" quality of candidates.

Now, there's nothing wrong with "B"s; that's still a pretty high grade. 

But we have had years where we had more "A"-level candidates.

However, that's nothing about which decent and civilized people can do anything; each primitive gives his own performance, and in the end his own grade.

We just rate them, and vote on them; the primitives themselves are in control of each of their own destinies.

[BattleHymn]

The easy way to do this is to recall some primitives first, and then check to see if they're on the ballot.  And if one recalls them, it's pretty likely they're on the ballot.

Other than nadin, though, they were pretty much the "B" quality of candidates.

Yeah, that's what I was doing, but they were all showing up.    You are right though, it was a good year for "B" candidates.  No true front runner this year. 

However, that's nothing about which decent and civilized people can do anything; each primitive gives his own performance, and in the end his own grade.

We just rate them, and vote on them; the primitives themselves are in control of each of their own destinies.

This reminds me of a line out of Macbeth:


... it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

[Chris_]

My ballot:

darkangel218
Lady Freedom Returns, HAMber
are_grits_groceries
Aerows
graham4anything
laserhaas
randys1
sheshe2
kentuck
cali

The Willie: Redstone
The Steve: Omaha Steve
The nadin: Mrs Corpio
The Skippy: NYC_SKP
The stewert: rbrnmw
Group award: the women's libbers

[franksolich]

The stewert: rbrnmw

Yeah, the primitive whose niece or daughter or cousin or whatever who was seeking donations to help with the relative's legal bills, as the relative had run over an old man and a little boy (killing one of them; I forget which one).

As it turned out, the relative had been drunk, and it wasn't the first time.....

[Ptarmigan]

Voted already. Not saying.

[obumazombie]

Yeah, the primitive whose niece or daughter or cousin or whatever who was seeking donations to help with the relative's legal bills, as the relative had run over an old man and a little boy (killing one of them; I forget which one).

As it turned out, the relative had been drunk, and it wasn't the first time.....

That was in incisive look into the mind of the manipulative libs.

[Big Dog]

My votes:

TOP DUMMY:
1. laserhaas - a dark horse, but the "private attorney general" has been consistently entertaining.
2. mopinko- Mo the Crazy Chicken Witch, Chicken Coupe, bad landlady. She's Number Two! What more is there to say?
3. fizzgig - Sarah, Sarah, Koala Bear earned "show" with her self-medicating bipolar lunacy.
4. The Master Nemesis - as he loses body parts, he loses the remnants of his sanity.
5. KingCharlemagne - a late bloomer, Charlie Mange is the DUmmy I'd most like to be locked in the Octagon with. He is the future of Skins' Island.
6. grasswire - Judy had a good year, but not a Top 5 year.
7. darkangel218 - The dork made me smile over and over again, as she was put in time out over and over again.
8. Manny Goldstein - He's Manny. 'Nuf said.
9. Mr. Scorpio - Ol' Pineapple Head needs to try harder next year. There's no Affirmative Action in the DOTY.
10. diabeticman - His imaginary wife dragged his pathetic ass across the finish line into the Top 10.

SPECIAL AWARDS:
The Willie: CaliforniaPeggy - How could I vote for anyone but the Pacific Coast Porn Poet, Cal/Peg?
The Steve: Omaha Steve - the combination of dying and retiring swayed me.
The nadin: MrScorpio - Ol' Brer Scorpio sho' do outfox us crackers! Every post is like an Uncle Remus story.
The Skippy: No vote.
The stewert: No vote.
Group award: the Ku Klux Klams. Five words: "Nutcrackers with razor sharp teeth."

[franksolich]

SPECIAL AWARDS:

The nadin: MrScorpio - Ol' Brer Scorpio sho' do outfox us crackers! Every post is like an Uncle Remus story.

 

[JohnnyReb]

To assuage my white guilt and make a proper vote, I need a list of which DUmmies are black.....or maybe I should display my white privilege....no, I think I'll indulge my redneck, bible thumping, gun toting, bible loving, racism.

Decisions, decisions, It's so difficult.

[franksolich]

To assuage my white guilt and make a proper vote, I need a list of which DUmmies are black.....or maybe I should display my white privilege....no, I think I'll indulge my redneck, bible thumping, gun toting, bible loving, racism.

Decisions, decisions, It's so difficult.

Okay, I see what you're doing here; you don't want to vote for any oppressed primitives.

From what I can see from the ballot, MrsCorpio is the only authenticated black person on it.....which is pretty representative of the racial make-up of Skins's island as a whole.

There's also the 1strongblackman primitive, but I've never been convinced that he's really of African derivation; you know how DUmmies lie.

[Big Dog]

Okay, I see what you're doing here; you don't want to vote for any oppressed primitives.

From what I can see from the ballot, MrsCorpio is the only authenticated black person on it.....which is pretty representative of the racial make-up of Skins's island as a whole.

There's also the 1strongblackman primitive, but I've never been convinced that he's really of African derivation; you know how DUmmies lie.

And the less said about the dark homoeroticism of 'blkmusclemachine', the better.

[Eupher]

I voted "No, and don't plan to" because, one, I'm post-whoring. Two, I'm unqualified to vote as I'm blissfully ignorant about the DUmmies and their Dummyness.

 

[the county]

I'm about to vote right now. It is hard to narrow down the top ten, there are so many qualified DUmmies to choose from, but it's time. And Mrscorpio is the only black on the slate from what I can tell, no Prosense, and 1strongblackman has at least a 50/50 chance of being someone's mole.

[Skul]

I missed so much of the year, it's going to be hard for me to pick.
I will anyway, just so I can ignore a few to piss them off.

[franksolich]

I missed so much of the year, it's going to be hard for me to pick.
I will anyway, just so I can ignore a few to piss them off.

Well now, if you can't decide, just copy.....my ballot.

Trust me, the choices are good.

[BlueStateSaint]

Well now, if you can't decide, just copy.....my ballot.

Trust me, the choices are good.

Hell, Coach--I may just do that.

[BattleHymn]

Hell, Coach--I may just do that.

I matched frank's ballot 6/10 on his DOTY choices in very close to the same order, and 4/5 on the special awards.  I only differed from him on the Group Award.  I did not study frank's choices before voting myself.   

With that disclaimer in mind, I also think frank has good choices this year. 

[Mr Mannn]

^^ votes sent via the email address. Have a great day Ralph!
Top DUmmies [10 chosen]


BainsBane
cali
diabeticman
fizzgig
graham4anything
kentuck
laserhaas
MrScorpio
Skinner
TheMastersNemesis

the William Rivers Pitt award, the "Willie"
---the most memorable primitive since the emergence of Skins’s island

BainsBane


the Steven Dawes award, the "Steve"
--the primitive who most made an ass of himself in 2014

nadinbrzezinski


the Nadin Abbott award, the "nadin"
--the primitive who most thinks he’s smarter than God

MrScorpio


the Bartholomew Scott award, the "Skippy" or the "Barry"
--the most paranoid primitive of 2014

TheMastersNemesis

the Steven Senti award, the "stewert"
--the freeloadingest primitive the past year

stewert

the group award

the women's libbers

[txradioguy]

Ok here goes:

Top Ten:

BainsBane
laserhaas
MineralMan
mopinko
MrScorpio
1strongblackman
NYC_SKP
Omaha Steve
grasswire
Laelth (write in vote)


The Willie - BainsBane

The Steve - mopinko

The nadin - MrScorpio

The Skippy - Atman

The Stewart - Texas Towlie (write in)

Group Award - the women's libbers

[BlueStateSaint]

Okay--I used an alternate email addy, because Hotmail/Outlook had a problem or two.

1.  Laserhaas
2.  MrsCorpio
3.  Nadin
4.  Aerows
5.  LFR

The other Top 10:

BainsBane
graham4anything
kentuck
NJCher
NYC_SKP

Willie:

DainBramaged

Steve:

Omaha Steve

Nadin:

TheMastersNemesis

Skippy:

NYC_SKP

Stewert:

stewert

Group:

Gun-grabbers

[franksolich]

Two and a half hours to go, and I can finally retire this thread to the DUmping Ground.

Lurking primitives perhaps need reminded that voting is via secret ballot, so what's shown up on this public thread is not necessarily indicative of the way voting has gone.

I really like this voting by secret ballot; when one voted by posting on the voting thread, lurking primitives could discern who was going to win and who wasn't, and so lost interest if they figured they weren't going to be one of the winners.

Primitives are interested in only each of themselves, no other primitives.

This way, since the primitives have no idea who's leading, who's ahead, who's most likely to win, they have to keep coming back.

Too bad for the primitives, but they really need to be concerned about their fellow primitives too, not just themselves.

[BattleHymn]

Two and a half hours to go, and I can finally retire this thread to the DUmping Ground.

Lurking primitives perhaps need reminded that voting is via secret ballot, so what's shown up on this public thread is not necessarily indicative of the way voting has gone.

I really like this voting by secret ballot; when one voted by posting on the voting thread, lurking primitives could discern who was going to win and who wasn't, and so lost interest if they figured they weren't going to be one of the winners.

Primitives are interested in only each of themselves, no other primitives.

This way, since the primitives have no idea who's leading, who's ahead, who's most likely to win, they have to keep coming back.

Too bad for the primitives, but they really need to be concerned about their fellow primitives too, not just themselves.

The ending of the voting period is now a cliffhanger, rather than a climax.