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Author Topic: 2013: Top DUmmie (DainBramaged)  (Read 11858 times)

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Offline franksolich

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2013: Top DUmmie (DainBramaged)
« on: December 31, 2013, 03:59:16 PM »
--taken from Who Was Who on democraticunderground 2001-2016, copyright 2017:

- - - - - - - - - -

DainBramaged, also known as Doug, Dougie, the brain-damaged primitive, walrus-face; 1950-2013.

Distinctions and honors, internal: compiled the second-largest “ignore list” ever on the now-defunct message-board.  Distinction and honors, external: #07 Top DUmmie of 2010, #04 Top DUmmie of 2011, #05 Top DUmmie of 2012, (tied with Omaha Steve, which see under “O”), and Top DUmmie of 2013.  Also winner of the “Steve,” the Steven Dawes award, for 2013.

Other honors: Fox News Champion of 2013; the Republican National Committee’s Presidential award for public relations, 2013; the Television Remote Control Manufacturers’ award for the largest increase in sales, 2013; B’Nai Brith Award for Tolerance and Understanding, 2010; Employee of the Year, Gearhart Chevrolet, 2007; Fourth Degree, Knights of Columbus, 1978; president of the altar boys’ alumni (1960-1969) association of St. Ignatius Loyola 1971-1972.

- - - - - - - - - -

Personal: derived from a humble but honest eastern European family in northern New Jersey.

Minimal academic accomplishment, but remarkable autodidact.

Once married, but divorced for mental cruelty and intolerable personal hygiene at the time of death; one adult daughter; substantially overdue in alimony at time of death, court cases still pending against estate.

Other court cases still pending against the estate include suits by the Internal Revenue Service for recovery of unpaid income taxes 2001-2007; for theft by Gearhart Chevrolet; for defamation by the National Rifle Association; for unpaid bills at the neighborhood grocer’s, the local gasoline station, and two adult book stores; and for shoplifting at a computer-supply store.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Met his demise while panhandling on a street downtown; approached by a stranger who wished to illuminate him that there was a six-ton safe falling from a window thirty-eight stories above them, and as it wasn’t anything he wanted to hear about, he ignored the warning.

Because of uncertainty about payment for the funeral bills, the undertaker procured a lien on his personal possessions, including his wardrobe.  DainBramaged was buried instead in king-sized pink bedsheet gotten at a thrift store for fifty cents, as it had rips and tears and stains in it.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2014, 01:53:44 PM by franksolich »
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apres moi, le deluge

Offline franksolich

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2013, 03:59:49 PM »
Well, that's it; I'm all dragged out.
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Offline Charles Henrickson

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2013, 04:09:14 PM »
I think we should hide his DOTY award up in the rafters and make him try to find it.
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Offline FlaGator

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2013, 04:12:46 PM »
Quote from: Charles Henrickson on December 31, 2013, 04:09:14 PM
I think we should hide his DOTY award up in the rafters and make him try to find it.

And replace it with the Nadin
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2013, 04:19:42 PM »
Quote from: Charles Henrickson on December 31, 2013, 04:09:14 PM
I think we should hide his DOTY award up in the rafters and make him try to find it.

Hahah!  H5.   :-)
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2013, 04:24:16 PM »

     And a new shorthand is named: The Dougie.

     Congrats, Doug. Well-deserved. It's just a shame that it doesn't come with an honorarium.
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5. IMO

a certain percentage of DU is depressed and has other mental issues.

Offline tanstaafl

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2013, 04:32:44 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on December 31, 2013, 04:24:16 PM
     And a new shorthand is named: The Dougie.

     Congrats, Doug. Well-deserved. It's just a shame that it doesn't come with an honorarium.

But it could come with a shiny new universal remote from Walmart!
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Offline fatboy

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2013, 04:35:47 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 31, 2013, 03:59:49 PM
Well, that's it; I'm all dragged out.

Well done franksolich, well done!
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Offline Charles Henrickson

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2013, 04:42:26 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 31, 2013, 03:59:16 PM
--taken from Who Was Who on democraticunderground 2001-2016, copyright 2017:

DainBramaged, also known as Doug, Dougie, the brain-damaged primitive, walrus-face. . . .

Distinction and honors . . . Top DUmmie of 2013.

Doug was so proud of winning the DOTY that he even got his name changed to reflect that honor. Plus, he thought a different last name would help him find gainful employment again, since his real name had by that time become mud. He also decided to lose a lot of his walrus-like blubber, to change his appearance:



Quote from: franksolich on December 31, 2013, 03:59:16 PM
Because of uncertainty about payment for the funeral bills, the undertaker procured a lien on his personal possessions, including his wardrobe.  DainBramaged was buried instead in king-sized pink bedsheet gotten at a thrift store for fifty cents, as it had rips and tears and stains in it.




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Offline Gern

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2013, 04:50:11 PM »
Quote from: Charles Henrickson on December 31, 2013, 04:09:14 PM
I think we should hide his DOTY award up in the rafters and make him try to find it.



bwaahahahahahahahahahha   :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
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Offline HeavyMetal

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2013, 04:51:12 PM »
Congrats WalrusFace...  Keep on shining you retarded diamond.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2013, 04:56:20 PM by HeavyMetal »
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Offline Gern

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2013, 04:53:42 PM »
I still say from now on "Wallduded" should be interchangeable with "DainBramaged"; two synonyms for unintentionally getting oneself fired/embarrassed/owned after pulling a lame stunt based on liberal politics.
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Offline freedumb2003b

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2013, 04:55:14 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on December 31, 2013, 03:59:49 PM
Well, that's it; I'm all dragged out.

Thanks Coach.

We can FEEL how much the list took out of you this year.

Next year, let's form a committee so you don't have to shoulder all the work (and the hate-drag).

Seriously.

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Offline Charles Henrickson

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2013, 04:55:39 PM »
I raise a glass (and a remote) to Douglas! BENGHAZI!
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Offline tanstaafl

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2013, 05:00:12 PM »
Quote from: Gern on December 31, 2013, 04:53:42 PM
I still say from now on "Wallduded" should be interchangeable with "DainBramaged"; two synonyms for unintentionally getting oneself fired/embarrassed/owned after pulling a lame stunt based on liberal politics.

No can do.

"walldude" and its derivatives are sourced back to the original DUmmie who got himself fired from a display company at a convention in Denver a few years back.

What has been done cannot be undone. But, remember, Walldude and his follower cali, the lame, painkiller addicted Walldudette from Vermont, had the cojones to come back and take a bow for what they did whereas Doug the BrainDamaged walrus has not.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2013, 05:04:59 PM »
Quote from: Gern on December 31, 2013, 04:53:42 PM
I still say from now on "Wallduded" should be interchangeable with "DainBramaged"; two synonyms for unintentionally getting oneself fired/embarrassed/owned after pulling a lame stunt based on liberal politics.
Doug can never take the place of DUmmy walldude in wallduding history.

Like DUmmy cali, when walldude got his just deserts he owned up to it and enhanced the entertainment value of his screwup.

Walldude's wallduding was a barrel of laughs.

Doug, the worthless, lazy slug, has refused to own up to his idiocy.

In that respect he's as contemptible as the drunken Pitt's mother, mute after wallduding herself up in Rindge.

Doug is a poor excuse for a DUmmy of the Year.

But at least he's not some prick's mole.

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Offline Skul

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2013, 05:23:11 PM »
Meh. Famous only for digging his own grave.
No staying power.
Got all butt hurt and left the DUmp for several months.
Finally posts a lame conspiracy OP, that nearly all ignore.
Only deserves a participant ribbon, nothing more.
ESAD, Dougiepoo.  Freaking loser.  :loser: :loser:
I hope your goggie has crabs.
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Offline Charles Henrickson

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2013, 05:31:21 PM »
Like Miley Cyrus and "twerking," Dougie peaked in August-September and hasn't given us much since. "Twerking" was overtaken by "selfie" as Word Of The Year. But Doug coasted in for the DOTY on the strength of that one historic, legendary thread. Another factor was that there was no "selfie"-type primitive mounting a strong finish to overtake him. I voted for DB for DOTY, and I guess he deserves it, but I wish he had posted more these past few months. His silence takes some of the luster off his crown.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2013, 05:35:28 PM »
Congratulations DainBramaged for DOTY! Come on down and clsim your award, a golden remote control.
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Offline Skul

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #19 on: December 31, 2013, 05:40:56 PM »
Quote from: Ptarmigan on December 31, 2013, 05:35:28 PM
Congratulations DainBramaged for DOTY! Come on down and clsim your award, a golden remote control.
Idiot would probably have it bronzed.
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Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Tess Anderson

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #20 on: December 31, 2013, 05:58:55 PM »
I'm okay with Doug winning DOTY - he's a lot better choice than last year's winner. I'm more upset at nad's placement - she deserved to win or place.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #21 on: December 31, 2013, 06:00:21 PM »
Quote from: Ptarmigan on December 31, 2013, 05:35:28 PM
Congratulations DainBramaged for DOTY! Come on down and clsim your award, a golden remote control.

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I love it Ptarmy. Does it come inscribed with "Not for use in ceilings"?

H5!
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Offline tanstaafl

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #22 on: December 31, 2013, 06:09:05 PM »
Quote from: I_B_Perky on December 31, 2013, 06:00:21 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I love it Ptarmy. Does it come inscribed with "Not for use in ceilings"?

H5!

Maybe someone can stick some white first aid tape on it and scribble "Don't leave in rafters" on it with a Sharpie.
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Offline Tucker

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #23 on: December 31, 2013, 07:25:07 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on December 31, 2013, 05:04:59 PM


Walldude knew his wallduding was imminent. He posted about his deed and was told  by dozens of DUmmies to delete it asap. Too late.

After he fell, he posted that his dismissal was the best thing to ever happen to him as it opened up better opportunities for him. As he never spoke of his new opportunities, we knew it was his way of trying to save face.

Walldude is the original and should remain so.
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Offline Tucker

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Re: 2013: Top DUmmie
« Reply #24 on: December 31, 2013, 07:26:23 PM »
Congratulations Dougie. You have really outdid yourself. It's a crying shame that you had to wait 61 years to make your mark.
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Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.
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