campaign thread for the Top DUmmies of 2013

[Freeper]

The monkeys are also much less likely to stick things into inappropriate places. 

And they can't vote.

[Tucker]

To me, Pam Dawson aka greenbriar/demtenjeep is by far the outstanding candidate for the Will Pitt award, the Willie.

It's the DUmp Hall of Fame, and Pam is a towering figure at the DUmp.

If you were to list up the top 50 bouncy tales in DUmp history, I'd wager to say that Pam would be responsible for 20 of them.

She is a pathological liar, a plagiarist, and the victim of a cruel genetic accident, and those are all near the top of qualfications for an outstanding DUmp democrat.

Just consider a tiny sampling of Pam's contributions to the DUmp:

* Attempted adultery on a cruise ship
* Drunk living in the basement
* Death of foul-mouthed Grandma Bonnie
* Beatings from her bullet-headed husband
* Terminal gut rot with all the symptoms
* Five-story home, sleeping fifty, although looking like a starter home on Google Earth
* Holli escaping on her eighteenth birthday
* Spooky the cat owns a Glock
* Brush with death at the laundry  mat.
* Micromanaging jerk of a principal
* Black student wants to be her slave
* Demotion to guarding an "alternative school"
* Another cruise, and photos of a knockoff Coach purse
* Stories about deadbeat sisters and brother
* Using her "stimulus check" for yet another cruise
* Holli secretly enlisting in the Army
* Hates Holli
* Loves Holli
* Describes sex on twentieth anniversary

Those are all great blasts from the past.

Pam has had so many memorable posts that it's easy to overlook some.

One of my favorites was when she wanted to go to a church food bank to get a turkey and other foodstuff for holiday dinner. She didn't want the run of the mill po folk handout bag though. She wanted to place a custom order.  

Then this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=8233262#8233895

Have you ever, at any point in your life, taken or had someone else take a nude photo of yourself?

greenbriar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore    Wed Nov-12-08 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
38. um yes...hubby has a few um clothing strategically placed photos of me
   
locked up in a safe secret place

[franksolich]

that's pretty pathetic. trolling the cooking and baking forum? You guys need a new hobby.

Why not?

Despite the innocuous-sounding name of that forum, and its ostensible purpose, it's just as full of hate and rage and impotent sedition.....and comedy.....as any of the "political" forums on Skins's island.

[BattleHymn]

I'm struggling to narrow it down to only one primitive for the Rob.  There are several good choices.   

[franksolich]

I'm struggling to narrow it down to only one primitive for the Rob.  There are several good choices.

You're right; that's probably the award presenting the most blue-ribbon candidates:

the Robyn McGrath award, the “Rob,” for the primitive who, simply put, one found funny during the past year, provoking the most merriment and mirth; a primitive who wishes to be seen as authoritative and credible, but just isn’t bright enough to cut it.

Atman
BainsBane
DainBramaged
denninmi
grasswire
Lady Freedom Returns
Locut0s
nadinbrzezinski
Fat Che's Little Brother
SidDithers
stevenleser
Taverner

In my opinion, all of them with the exception of SidDithers--who was funny in other ways--meet the basic criteria.

It was an easy decision for me, because I'd already made up my mind before nominations even started, and didn't bother considering anybody else.  They're all rock-solid candidates, but I'm sticking with my twin.

My suggestion is that one vote for a primitive not likely to win any of the other special awards--which would eliminate at least walrus-face, as he's sure to win the Steve--so that the wealth of awards gets spread around.

[franksolich]

It's like watching monkeys at the zoo, only they fling less poo than DUmmies do.

I've always been mystified as to why the primitives resent us watching them as if they're a television show.

They're aware Skins's island is a public forum, and anyone can watch.

And surely they're aware that it isn't only the DUmpster watching them.

And then there's their old hippie lack of inhibition and discretion; they want to be looked at.

I've just never gotten it; we give them what they want--an audience--and they bitch.

[freedumb2003b]

that's pretty pathetic. trolling the cooking and baking forum? You guys need a new hobby.

You don't understand the subtleties of irony, do you?

Actually it is clear you don't understand much of anything.

[franksolich]

You don't understand the subtleties of irony, do you?

Actually it is clear you don't understand much of anything.

You know, the primitives ought to be grateful to us; at least we're paying attention to them.

No one else is, most certainly not their lords and masters, other than to laugh and sneer at them; after all, the primitives are very hard to take seriously.

I remember a post by the LynneSin primitive right after the Big Zero was re-elected.

As an aside, one wonders what ever became of the LynneSin primitive, once one of the most-prolific posters in the Lounge on Skins's island.  She evaporated shortly thereafter.  I suspect it was terminal dropsy, as she was so obviously afflicted by that, lots of weight and lots of water of course being a common side-effect of taking too many pharmaceuticals.

Anyway, shortly after the Big Zero was re-elected, she wrote something asking him to please pay attention to the feelings and concerns of the primitives.

It read as if a humble anonymous peasant praying for a slight favor from a faraway king, the peasant knowing in advance his petition wasn't going to be addressed anyway.

We're the only people in the whole world who care about the primitives.

[Bad Dog]

that's pretty pathetic. trolling the cooking and baking forum? You guys need a new hobby.

Since you were bitching about folks going slightly asunder on the topic of your one (1) thread, perhaps you could demonstrate the courtesy you demand and not hijack this thread.  Oh....wait...I forgot you are a immature, selfish DUmmie.  Nevermind.

[Chris_]

Shut up, Curtis.  Nobody cares.

[GOBUCKS]

I'm struggling to narrow it down to only one primitive for the Rob.  There are several good choices. 

For me, the only candidate for the Rob is poor addled grasswipe Judy Smith.

She is sooo addled, yet constantly makes learned pronouncements about any subject that strikes her fancy.

She's still hot on coach's trail as she investigates the tragic death of the round red sodomite.

She's the Jim Garrison of Dear Andy's murder.

[franksolich]

For me, the only candidate for the Rob is poor addled grasswipe Judy Smith.

She is sooo addled, yet constantly makes learned pronouncements about any subject that strikes her fancy.

She's still hot on coach's trail as she investigates the tragic death of the round red sodomite.

She's the Jim Garrison of Dear Andy's murder.

My heart wouldn't be broken if Atman weren't selected, and she were.

In fact, grasswire would probably be my second choice for the Rob.

But surely Atman as an idiot surpasses all the other candidates but her, with the exception of walrus-face, but hey, walrus-face is going to walk away with at least two awards, so give another primitive a chance.

[franksolich]

Jugs has been peeking.

She was peeking here yesterday (Monday) too, but again, that's okay; nothing wrong with it.

I'm going to be gone most of the day today, and in case   shows up while I'm away, with her ridiculous high-falutin' notion that she and the other primitives are smart, and we're stupid, I want to remind her that franksolich has more cerebral cells in his dick, than she does in her jugs.

[Tucker]

I want to remind her that franksolich has more cerebral cells in his dick, than she does in her jugs.

Frank, she's bringing out the best in you. 

[njpines]

That's where we find the exotic way to cook Rahmen Noodles.

Now with more kale!   

[Chris_]

Now with more kale!   

Don't forget the quinoa.

[GOBUCKS]

I want to remind her that franksolich has more cerebral cells in his dick, than she does in her jugs.

From what we've heard in anecdotes from the Sandhills, those three things are all about the same size.

[franksolich]

Frank, she's bringing out the best in you. 

Just as I found the brain-damaged primitive's intolerance of other points of view the most obnoxious thing about him, I find   's presumed intellectual superiority the most obnoxious thing about her.

I really despise that; no one know what are degrees of intelligence, and it's stupid to think one does.

In the fourth grade, I scored the lowest in an IQ (intelligence quotient) test given to all ten-year-olds in town (I dunno how many of us there were; the town had circa 3,000 people, and there were three grade schools).  In that time and place, such information was made public, how each kid scored.

Ten years ago, I took a comprehensive IQ test that involved only writing, and professional analysis and evaluation of one's intelligence from that.  I "scored" in the highest 1% of that.

When it was revealed that I was deaf--and the deaf tend to be really lousy at articulation of feelings, opinions, and ideas, really retarded--the psychiatrist was floored.  "No way," he said; "it's just not possible......"

Smart or stupid, no one knows, and it's ridiculous to assume.

When I mole Skins's island, I never try to come across as intellectually-superior to the primitives, which perhaps explains my success over there.  And it's honest; I don't know for sure if I'm smarter than the primitives or not.

  needs to rein in her arrogance.  It would make her a better person, being more humble.

[dutch508]

Frank, everyone knows you are the Nadin.

All you have to do is admit it and you've made the first step towards recovery.

[franksolich]

Frank, everyone knows you are the Nadin.

All you have to do is admit it and you've made the first step towards recovery.

Well,   and any other primitives with delusions of intellectual superiority need to remember intelligence is not a moral value betraying virtue.  It's something one's born, or not born, with.

I suppose most here would agree that "dumb but honest" is morally-superior to "smart but dishonest," or "dumb but diligent" is morally-superior to "smart but irresponsible."

[franksolich]

From what we've heard in anecdotes from the Sandhills, those three things are all about the same size.

Hardly.

Remember, I'm abysmally "average; " average height, average weight, average waist-line, average shoe-size, blah blah blah--average in pretty much all things excepting the absence of ears.

[BattleHymn]

Anybody who is considering Redstone for the Willie should try the below link.  While stumbling through trying to learn about Redstone (he was just a little before my time, for the most part), I stumbled onto a bunch of threads frank bumped in memory of Redstone. 

After seeing his photograph in the other thread, I couldn't help but read all of his posts imagining he had a terrible John Wayne style accent, and in doing so, it clinched the deal for me:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php?action=search2;params=YWR2YW5jZWR8J3wxfCJ8dXNlcnNwZWN8J3xmcmFua3NvbGljaHwifGJyZHwnfDEwLDQwfCJ8c2hvd19jb21wbGV0ZXwnfHwifHN1YmplY3Rfb25seXwnfHwifHNvcnRfZGlyfCd8ZGVzY3wifHNvcnR8J3xyZWxldmFuY2V8InxzZWFyY2h8J3xcImluIG1lbW9yeSBvZiByZWRzdG9uZVwi;start=0

[ChuckJ]

This will be what I’m sending to Mr. Wiggum (minus the commentary).

Top DUmmies
1. nadinbrzezinski - No one single DUmmie has put forth so much effort to entertain the masses as nadin. I don’t see how she can lose.
2. rsmith6621 - He has tried so hard to wrest the Bouncy crown from Bouncy Ball. Sadly, he doesn’t have her creative writing chops.
3. Taverner - He was too cuckoo for the cuckoo nest.
4. Pretzel_Warrior - He was nice enough to row over and give us curbside entertainment.
5. Link Speed - He’s been so many pretend things.

I refuse to list any more than five for Top DUmmie because, even though their stupidity has grown, they seem to be not putting forth as much of an effort to entertain.

William Rivers Pitt award
Stinky the Clown - He.doesn’t.want.to.be.an.internet.laughingstock.so.I’m.putting.him.up.for.this.very.serious.award.with. Pittian.dots.

Steven Dawes award
DainBramaged - I don’t know how it can be anyone else.

Robyn McGrath award
BainsBane - I’m voting for BainsBane for two reasons, but not those two.

Nadin Abbott award
nadinbrzezinski - How could she not win the inaugural nadin award?

Group award
the moles - I almost went with the bullies, but they really aren’t that impressive without nadin.

[BattleHymn]

2. rsmith6621 - He has tried so hard to wrest the Bouncy crown from Bouncy Ball. Sadly, he doesn’t have her creative writing chops.

I like where you put the rsmith primitive.  I think he's going to shine this year.   

[Tucker]

Willie- Redstone, posthumously.

Steven Dawes- In a slam dunk runaway...DainBramaged

Robyn McGrath- Taverner

Nadin Abbott- The crazy, bald headed dwarf.

Group- Gun Grabbers- Now accepting the award for this group is "Jugs"

 
Top DUmmies of 2013

10-SidDithers- Just because I think that he'd be fun to drink a beer with.

-4- 9- Omaha Ed Norton- He began another losing campaign without much fanfare.


8- graham4anything- If it could only exert themself, it could be a top 5 easily. The malady called laziness ruins another DUmbass with potential.

7- Manifestor_of_Light- Just a mean ol nasty bitch. With any luck (or outside influence) it will be winning an award for 2014  posthumously.

6- Skittles- Another lowdown nasty bitch. Not fit to live among decent and civilized people.

5- NYC_SKP- After some serious thought, if he can get under jugs skin (after fighting the fat orbs), he's gotta be worth more than honorable mention.

-9- 4- fizzgig- The year started out with her buying a cabin in the woods. The year ended with her husband losing his job. That in itself is worthy of a top 10.

3- Taverner- Not as smart as he thought he was.

2- Cousin it.

1-Doug Bulna- His year was epic. His hiding the remote thread was no different than any of the other dozens of threads he started, except it had a entirely different, totally unexpected, outcome.

It's a shame that the nomination period is over. I would have proposed the cave members as an award for the group. What we did collectively to dainbramaged will live on forever.

Anyway, there you have my 2013 selections.

Moving fizgig to 4 from 9. Sorry Steve. Looks like you lost out again. You were only mentioned by your reputation anyway.