nominating thread for the Top DUmmies of 2013 (closed)

[franksolich]

Skins's island, otherwise known as democraticunderground

Welcome to the official nominating thread for the Top DUmmies of 2013!

Nominations will be accepted from circa supper-time Thanksgiving Eve, November 27, 2013 until 10 p.m. (central time) Saturday, Pearl Harbor Day, December 7, 2013.

Campaigning and voting will take place from circa breakfast-time Sunday, December 8, 2013 until 10 p.m. (central time) Wednesday, December 18, 2013.

The rules for voting will be posted on the official campaign thread, but one should be forewarned voting is by secret ballot only, and votes will be weighted.

Awards will be dispensed beginning some time Tuesday Christmas Eve, December 24, 2013 through circa supper-time Tuesday New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2013.  As there are fifteen awards to be given out, that means more than one will be posted during any single day, culminating in the top award, the Top DUmmie of 2013, in time for the New Year’s Eve celebrations.

Past winners of the Top DUmmies may be found at http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,66225.0.html

- - - - - - - - - -

There is no limit on the number of primitives one may nominate for the Top DUmmies, or any of the special awards.

Simply giving the name of a primitive will not constitute a nomination; every nomination must be enhanced with at least half a sentence describing the nominated primitive.

Any primitive who was present on Skins’s island any time during 2013 is eligible for nomination and election; this means that banned primitives and deceased primitives are also eligible.

If one is unsure of the specific identity or screen-name of a primitive, one should feel free to inquire on this thread.  It’s easy to get the primitives confused; s-o-o-o-o many of them look alike.

Groups of primitives but only for one spot on the rankings, are also eligible for nomination and election, but a “group” must be defined with specific parameters.

- - - - - - - - - -

Nominations are sought for:

(a) the Top DUmmies of 2013, for either having provided the most constant, the most reliable, amusement and entertainment for decent and civilized people throughout the entire year…..or for some really awesome act of primitivity.

The primitives voted top DUmmies #20-11 will be awarded one single collective prize; the primitives voted top DUmmies #10-01 will each be awarded an individual prize.

(b) the William Rivers Pitt award, the “Willie,” for the most-memorable primitive from any time since the founding of Skins’s island on January 20, 2001.

Primitives who’ve already won the Willie in the past are not eligible for nomination and election; it’s a one-time-only award.  The primitives not eligible are TomInTib, William Pitt, BouncyBall, nadinbrzezinski, and Alan Grayson.

Perhaps the easiest way to decide upon a candidate for this award, one could imagine a Mount Rushmore of the Greatest Primitives, Ever, being sculpted on the side of a mountain in Vermont--which four heads should be on there, and which one should occupy the position of George Washington as on the real Mount Rushmore?

(c) the Steven Dawes award, the “Steve,” for the primitive who proved his own worst enemy during 2013; usually, this means a primitive who wallduded himself, getting himself fired from a job because of comments made on Skins’s island, but it may instead include other sorts of behavior, such as that exhibited by last year’s winner, in which the primitive was his own downfall because he didn‘t pay attention to the advice and counsel of franksolich.

(d) the Robyn McGrath award, the “Rob,” for the primitive who, simply put, one found funny during the past year, provoking the most merriment and mirth; a primitive who wishes to be seen as authoritative and credible, but just isn’t bright enough to cut it.

(e) the Nadin Abbott award, the “Nadin,” for the primitive who exhibited the most “I am God”-like characteristics during 2013; the primitive who was never wrong, always right.  It’s not so true any more, but in the past, a primitive such as the rabid 0bamaite Prosense would’ve been a good candidate.

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This is being posted early so that all may become familiar with the rules; nominations open Thanksgiving Eve, November 27, 2013, circa supper-time.    

[franksolich]

Okay, I’ll open.  I have several nominations to make, but we got ten days, and so I’ll just start off with one, nominating a group, the moles on Skins’s island.  I’m really surprised nobody’s--including myself--ever thought to nominate them, because they do have a great impact on Skins’s island, considerably discombobulating the primitives.

And as God knows, the primitives need to be discombobulated; it’s a public service for the Good of Humanity that they get confused, dismayed, upset, vexed, angry, all bent out of shape, so as to render them pathetic and laughable, irrelevant in the serious business of politics and government.

By “moles,” I’m not including trolls, whose intention is simply to go in and make a mess of something, and then either leave or get kicked off Skins’s island.  That’s a different category altogether.

Moles are those who blend in with the primitives, saying all the right things, gaining their trust, and then manipulating them for one purpose or another, usually a noble one.

No one knows who the moles are; there exists no “mole central,” no mole clearinghouse. 

And there are moles who are only a figment of the primitives’ imaginative paranoia.

[obumazombie]

Who gets credit for the Steve, the Rob, and the nadin award ?
I have my fingers crossed.
Or have these awards already been established before this year ?

[freedumb2003b]

Wow, this is hard.  I had to copy the list into a text editor so I could see what is whom is where...

a) Had nadin not iggied herself from DU, she would have been in the running for Top DUmmie.  But now, I nominate Doug Bulna just because he is so... Dumb. 

b) William Rivers Pitt -- easiest category: TomInTib.  That guy taught J F'ing Kerry how to lie!

c) Steven Dawes award -- Doug B from above.  He is the perfect fit

d) Robyn McGrath award -- gotta go with nads on this one.  Her every post is comedy gold

e) Nadin Abbott award -- I had to think hard on this one.   After some back and forth with Franksolich I understood the award vs. the person.  But when I apply the criteria, nads still gets my nod for her eponymous award


Just my 2 cents...

[franksolich]

Who gets credit for the Steve, the Rob, and the nadin award ?
I have my fingers crossed.
Or have these awards already been established before this year ?

The Steven Dawes award, the "Steve," was created last year, and the big guy in Bellevue won it.

There can be repeat winners for all but the William Rivers Pitt award, the "Willie," which has existed since 2009.

The Robyn McGrath award, the "Rob," was created last year, and cousin nadin won it.

The Nadin Abbott award, the "nadin," is new this year.

[franksolich]

Just my 2 cents...

Your two cents is good, sir.

But remember, there's twenty top DUmmies, so you can nominate more, if you wish.

It's just that there's only one winner each for the special awards.

[obumazombie]

The Steven Dawes award, the "Steve," was created last year, and the big guy in Bellevue won it.

There can be repeat winners for all but the William Rivers Pitt award, the "Willie," which has existed since 2009.

The Robyn McGrath award, the "Rob," was created last year, and cousin nadin won it.

The Nadin Abbott award, the "nadin," is new this year.

Ah !

[franksolich]

Ah !

I was grievously disappointed that the Bostonian Drunkard did not win the Willie the first year it came out, but I guess I got only myself to blame.  That year, Mr. Wiggum and I determined the winner ourselves, never having put the Willie up for a popular vote.

I forget why we didn't put it up for a vote, but I think we were running out of time or something.

Mr. Wiggum suggested the lying tits primitive, and after much prayer and contemplation--I take these things seriously--I couldn't disagree.

The other disappointment was that my twin Atman didn't win the award named for him either; the cousin did.

The big guy from Bellevue however, came through, being the first winner of his own award.

[franksolich]

I'll be taking off for a bit, but before I forget (and I've forgotten sometimes)--I want to nominate the sparkling old dude, Stinky the Clown, for the Willie, given to one's most-memorable primitive of all time (not just this past year).

The sparkling old dude is finis, gone; he'll never show up on Skins's island again.

So there's no chance he'll ever be a Top DUmmie again.

However, it wouldn't be a Top DUmmies contest without an award to the sparkling old dude; he's gotten one more times more years than any other primitive.

I always enjoyed writing the awards for the sparkling old dude, and I'm sure he enjoyed reading them.

In fact, it appears that with his award for #02 Top DUmmie of 2010, his business partners printed off thousands of copies of that award, to be included in mail-solicitations for more business, so as to show how well-connected they are, how they're people who get things done for the client.

I really really think that when the final chapter of Skins's island is written, the sparkling old dude will stand out as one of the more memorable primitives.

[Mike220]

Did I miss a purge? What happened to Stinky?

[Bad Dog]

My first time nominating.  I'm in hopes Amber would win DUmmie Harlequin romance of the year or at least DUmmie head injury of 2013.  Loconuts ought to win something just because he has managed to accomplish less than nothing over the year.  All in for Doug as the top DUmmie.

[franksolich]

Did I miss a purge? What happened to Stinky?

Old age, marital unbliss, and the decline of the cooking and baking forum.

The sparkling old dude is 66 years old, and has not been in great health for a while.  

Now, sixty-six isn't really "old" unless one's been a bon vivant, a high-liver on the soft and easy life, in which case the richness and decadence takes its toll.  It's the same thing as eating nothing but chocolate cake all day, every day.

If the sparkling old dude had varied his diet a bit--Italianate cuisine is great, wonderful, but one can have too much of a good thing--and cut out the booze, he'd probably be in great shape today.

Karma's caught up with the sparkling old dude, too; he'd been married to a woman who loved him very much, but as they both got older, she got stouter and more hirsute and more wrinkled--which doesn't take away from that she loved him very much.

He dumped her for another woman, his current wife, considerably younger than him.  Well, she's thinking that in his old age, the sparkling old dude isn't so great any more, and has been spending more "social time" with Mrs. Tutweiler down the street.

The sparkling old dude used to be a prolific poster in the cooking and baking forum, providing decent and civilzed people with much amusement and entertainment, but ever since dear old sweet Lu took it over it's gone stagnant under her non-leadership.  The cooking and baking forum is withering away, because dear old sweet Lu doesn't think it's necessary for her to do any work to keep it animated and lively.

One can, easily, see the sparkling old dude's attitude--"Well, if dear old sweet Lu's not going to post and things, why should I?"

I'm sure we'll see the sparkling old dude on Skins's island once in a while, here and there, but for the most part, he's gone.  And it's too bad, because he was always one of our most prolific producers for inventory for the DUmpster.

[obumazombie]

Who would have known that the DUmmies would have taken Marie Antoinette so seriously.

[franksolich]

Who would have known that the DUmmies would have taken Marie Antoinette so seriously.

In his earlier days, when the cooking and baking forum was in its prime, the sparkling old dude betrayed constantly that he was always dining upon the richest, most-calorie-laden Italianate cuisine (pizza with 8" toppings of dead fish, whatnot).

Italianate cuisine is great, but one can have too much of it, especially if it's slathered with copious grease.

The guy was making bacon look low-cholesterol.

He should've varied his diet with English cookery, and cuisine from the Sandhills of Nebraska, and cut out the booze.

[ChuckJ]

My nominations...

Top DUmmies:

nadin: She who knows everything and has done everything…I think she was even almost correct once.
Dainbramaged: He lived up to his name.
Lady Freedom Returns: Run for the hills she’s returned and looking for handouts!!!
Taverner: Because when you’re too ridiculous for the home of the ridiculous what does that say about you?
LinkSpeed: Or whatever was TiT’s latest name.
(edit to add: Seabeyond) I need help for this last one. I don’t remember her name. She’s a bitch (and I rarely use that word) who makes other femanazis seem like good hearted individuals.

The Willie:
Steve Dawes. He’s run for so many other things. Maybe he’ll be successful again and show that winning the “Steve” wasn’t just a one-time thing.

The Steve:
Dainbramaged: He saved people from Fox News and his employer from himself all in one swoop.

The Rob:
Lady Freedom Returns: She’s making herself an expert on being homeless and unemployed. Wonder what the retirement plan is like?

The Nadin:
Nadin: No other DUmmie comes close.

[franksolich]

I need help for this last one. I don’t remember her name. She’s a bitch (and I rarely use that word) who makes other femanazis seem like good hearted individuals.

Seabeyond, perhaps?

I pretty much stopped paying attention to the women's libbers on Skins's island after they eviscerated my twin Atman, and nearly got him banned.  Some of these old cows are so hate-filled they need kicked in the teeth, though.

[ChuckJ]

Seabeyond, perhaps?

I pretty much stopped paying attention to the women's libbers on Skins's island after they eviscerated my twin Atman, and nearly got him banned.  Some of these old cows are so hate-filled they need kicked in the teeth, though.

That does sound like the name. Thanks coach.

[franksolich]

After the first 24 hours of this thread, the following primitives have been nominated; a summary is given circa supper-time every day, until the close of nominations.  The list tends to grow the fastest the last five days; at this side of the calendar, it's a holiday, and so many aren't around to nominate.

Top DUmmies (of which 20 are to be elected):

Dain Bramaged
Lady Freedom Returns
Link Speed
Loc0nuts
the moles
Seabeyond
Taverner

the Willie:

Omaha Steve
Stinky the Clown

the Steve:

Dain Bramaged

the Rob:

Lady Freedom Returns
nadinbrzezinzki

the Nadin:

nadinbrzezinski

The lying tits primitive for the Willie has been rejected; not eligible (see rules).

[MoshMasterD]

 :argh:1 name for DOTY.  TheMasterNemesis

[franksolich]

Of the list so far, I can't see anybody but walrus-face as the winner of the Steve or the cousin for the Nadin, but it'll be interesting to see if others have a different opiinon on the matter.

[franksolich]

:argh:1 name for DOTY.  TheMasterNemesis

Got it.

I have to confess that I worry very much about the primitives nominated, because once in a while someone nominates a primitive with whom I'm not exactly familiar, and if the primitive wins, I have to write the award.

But in another sense (besides this lack of information--although don't anybody neglect to nominate a primitive even if franksolich doesn't know much about the primitive; nominate away), there's three primitives for whom I'm on pins-and-needles all during the nominations; these are the primitives I least want to write about, and every night for ten days, I pray that they don't get nominated, so I won't have to worry about writing about them.

One of them is Elad, the elusive enigmatic Elad, the number three man on Skins's island.

<<<couldn't write half a paragraph about Elad.

The second is my fellow alum Skins; because of our old school tie (we were both taught by professors from Yale, he in New Haven and I in Lincoln), there's a certain affinity, a certain fondness, between the two of us, that I couldn't write objectively about Skins; it'd come out reading like a publc-relations release.

The third is my old pal Manny, the Manny Goldstein primitive; I've met him in real life, and despite that his politics are stupid, he's probably one of the most charismatic, charming, seductive people one can hope to meet.  No way in Hell could I write about my good pal Manny; I'd have to resign, and let someone else do it.

[Tess Anderson]

So you've noticed Stinky's disenchantment with the DUmp . . . so have I, and it doesn't sound contained to the baking forum, either:

Fri Nov 15, 2013, 10:16 PM

 Stinky The Clown (52,653 posts)


This is the only group on DU that has unconditional love as its focus.


 This discussion thread is pinned.
I think it is also fair to say that anyone who regularly posts in this group knows that love with their own pets.
 
The love our pets show us, and the love we show them, is quite special. It is unlike anything else. The word pure comes to mind. Speaking for myself, I often wish we could deal with the humans in our lives with the same freely given, unencumbered care we show our pets.
 
In that spirit, I get a little sad to see some of the recent threads in this group, where interpersonal antipathy seems more the marrow of the thread than a discussion of our pets.
 
Tolerance for opposing views, and respect for each other, would go a long way to bringing the group back to what it was.
 
There is simply no way we will all agree on all matters pet. Neither is there much hope that we can change minds in any substantial way, particularly on the bigger issues. For example, while Sparkly and I would never, ever, choose

http://www.democraticunderground.com/116114042

and I think he's having marital problems, too - just a hunch. Mike is a great nominee for the Pitt, though.

Few more names for the top twenty:

grasswire (perennial favourite)
gopiscrap (heh)
Loc0tus AND denninmi (still mix those two up)
and PeggyinCalifornia (for her response to Doug in THAT thread alone)

[Ptarmigan]

Too many to choose. All are crazy! 

DUmmy Of The Year
Dain Bramaged
Lady Freedom Returns
nadinbrzezinzki
Bainsbane
Loc0tus
TheMasterNemesis
DarkAngel
Cali
Graham4Anything
Taverner
Truemad
Any DUmmy With Bunny or Rabbit In Screen Name


Is it possible to nominate the same person for Willie, Steve, Rob, and Nadin?

Nominations are sought for:

Willie
Cali

Steve
Dain Bramaged

Robyn
Bainsbane

Nadin
nadinbrzezinzki

[franksolich]

So you've noticed Stinky's disenchantment with the DUmp . . . so have I, and it doesn't sound contained to the baking forum, either:

Yeah, the sparkling old dude cares very much for his dogs, for which one has to give him credit.

A man who likes dogs isn't all bad.

There's something else here, too.  When the late Tangerine LaBamba showed up here in the middle of the night on December 17, 2009 (a date seared in the memory), she spilled the beans on primitives, telling all about so many of them.

However, when I pressured her for information on the sparkling old dude, she said "no," the one and only "no" she said to me.  She said she didn't want to talk about the sparkling old dude, out of affection for him.

One wondered what was up with that.  She was so free and loose with information about lots of other primitives, but seemed insistent upon protecting the sparkling old dude.

I always wondered why that was.

At first, I thought it was because she and the sparkling old dude were really really really good friends.

Then later, it occurred to me; both the sparkling old dude and she were of Italianate derivation, and one has to remember that among the sparkling old dude's business associates, there's Luigi the Head-Knasher, Scarface Alphonso, Peppone the Leg-Breaker, Leering Giovanni, &c., &c., &c., and unlike those of us of non-Italianate derivaton, she knew what that meant.

[franksolich]

Is it possible to nominate the same person for Willie, Steve, Rob, and Nadin?

Yes.

The only deal about the special awards is that a primitive can win the Willie only one time, and can't win it any more after that.

Other than that, one can repeat, but realistically, I'm not seeing that any previous winner of any of the previous special awards is going to repeat this year.

<<<could be wrong, though; has been before.