http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8981001Oh my.
The things that happen, in the daily lives of the primitives.
Ladyhawk (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 01:55 AM
Original message
Just had to call 911 for a domestic dispute.
Now I'm huddled in my apartment listening to the yelling.
applegrove (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-14-09 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #2
35. Yes I've shouted out to people yelling at each other if they wanted me to call the police. The woman had a toddler with her and the man was just ragging on her. She asked me to call a taxi. The poor little girl had big tears in her eyes. I felt so sorry for her and so pissed off at the man. Not fun.
SeattleGirl (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 01:59 AM
Response to Original message
3. I had to do that once at a hotel I was staying at in Vegas.
Huge commotion next door, and it sure didn't sound like people were having "fun."
Of course, when security came to the couple's door, the guy said there was "no problem." BS on that! I really think he was beating on the woman.
Doug's stupid ex-wife:
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:03 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. That was probably us!
MercutioATC (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 01:59 AM
Response to Original message
4. Why are you "huddled"?
It's not going on IN your apartment, is it?
Ladyhawk (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:05 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. No, but I'm not going near any windows.
I think it's over. The yelling has stopped. I didn't want to stick my head outside to see exactly where this was happening. No thanks. Lots of threats. Lots of banging.
Huddling = staying low near my computer screen.
I've had to call 911 quite a few times over the years. It sucks, but I hate domestic disturbances.
GodlyDemocrat (163 posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:04 AM
Response to Original message
6. Yelling does not always imply domestic violence
The elleng primitive, allegedly an attorney, who had been married to a guy allegedly an attorney. When things started getting sour between them, the husband gave the elleng primitive a piece of paper to sign, which she did without reading it first. Remember, the elleng primitive is allegedly an attorney.
The piece of paper was giving the husband, or ex-husband, the house.
elleng (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:12 AM
Response to Reply #6
10. Right, and vice versa.
There wasn't much if any yelling the night my husb. assaulted me. He sure yelled, at me, begged, really, that I shouldn't charge him. Off to jail he went.
GodlyDemocrat (163 posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:28 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. It's good when a woman stands up for her own rights
I'm generally wary when prosecutors go ahead and charge domestic violence cases that alleged victims do not want to pursue, especially when lack of consent is a required element of the offense, but the moral choice is so much more clearer when victims want to pursue charges and the evidence backs up their allegations.
cherokeeprogressive (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:55 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. It's not always like that.
My ex-wife threw two telephones through a sliding glass door. One through the part that moved, one through the part that was stationary.
My mom worked for, and retired from, GTE. I had an ORIGINAL Mickey Mouse phone. One of the first thousand sold. I also had a really neat "duck phone". It went
QUACK
quack
quack
quack
when it rang. She was drunk and angry that my childhood best friend (I've stated here many times that my childhood friends make up my current social circle, and she had NO social friends, even though she worked at the same company for nearly 20 years and we lived within five miles of the high school she attended) called and asked if I wanted to play softball on a Saturday.
She knew that those two phones were very important to me not only because they were historically significant, but because my MOM gave them to me. The Mickey Mouse phone had a rotary dial, it was so old.
We lived in a condo complex at the time, and the neighbor who lived below us called the Sheriff's Department. She had run out of steam by the time they actually showed up, but when they knocked on the door, it was her they asked for. The only thing that kept her from going to jail (for disorderly conduct) was my pleading that she was done for the night.
Don't generalize like that. She didn't go to jail because I didn't stand up for MY rights. The evidence was MORE than plentiful. Glass on the balcony, and telephones in the courtyard below.
It's not always man on woman. I'm living testimony to that.
REP (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 03:09 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. No generalization; the responses were to another poster's own story
I'm sorry you didn't press charges. If you're ever in those circumstances again, I hope you do. Domestic abuse is not to be tolerated by anyone.
cherokeeprogressive (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 03:36 AM
Response to Reply #14
16. I'd already made up my mind that if the same situation were to present itself, I would.
I got out before it happened again. I worked out a killer agreement for visitation, whereupon I picked up my daughter on Thursday night, and returned her on Monday night. She (my daugher) thrived there.
Years later, my ex told me about the sexual molestation she suffered at the hands of her father. It became clear to me at that point that she wasn't in control of her emotions, and over the years (our daughter will be 18 on the 15th) we've come to be friends; the kind of friends we were in those few weeks before we became lovers.
I spend a lot of time wondering how things would have turned out had she been open with our marriage counselor all those years ago. That didn't work out well at all. On that front, I know one thing: Had I known then what I know now, I would have driven to her parent's house, called her father (she refers to him as "the sperm donor) out onto the lawn, and beaten him to within an inch of his life, if not killed him outright.
In retrospect, I'm not sorry I didn't press charges. In fact, in the grand scheme of things it would have been an injustice. She couldn't help herself, and she couldn't explain why because she was so ashamed.
Today, on her birthday and mine, we can talk until one or the other of us has to get off the phone for whatever reason, and we've not had a disagreement of ANY kind in years.
I don't look on it today as domestic abuse back then. I could, but I don't.
The alleged attorney, again:
elleng (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 03:10 AM
Response to Reply #12
15. Yes, but/and
I did NOT pursue the charge of assault (and battery) because it probably would have damaged his career (as a govt. atty), we had 2 college-age children, and I determined that we couldn't afford to be without his income.
I left the house while he was in jail. This was in '06. I'm just now seeking a separation agreement, and he's answered my complaint with such a pile of lies I can't stand it. And the girls, 21 and 24, think he's ok; get angry if I say anything negative about him.
I'm tired now, but remember, folks, life isn't easy.
abumbyanyothername (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 02:08 AM
Response to Original message
9. I used to do standup . . . and I had a bit about Tanya Harding and her lover, Jeff Gillooley (or whatever).
I read that the Portland police had been called to their trailer to break up domestic disputes 17 times.
Maybe it's just me, maybe I give up too easy (I have been divorced 3 times) but the police are going to mediate my relationship . . .exactly once. At most.
paulsby (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 05:54 AM
Response to Reply #9
18. not at all uncommon
i have certain addresses i have been to at least a dozen times, and that's JUST me. one guy, one shift.
we refer to them as "frequent flyers"
Obamanaut (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 06:14 AM
Response to Original message
19. Ack! You actually called for assistance from the very same police that we love to hate here? Say you didn't! They have tazers, and clubs, and and and guns! They are bad, all of them, I know they are because I've read it here.
Actually, the police can be your friends. I've never met any who have been less that professional, even when I was in the wrong.
pipi_k (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. I was just thinking the same thing
All those threads last week, people bashing on the cops, calling them pigs and worse.
Not that the OP did that...I wouldn't know, and I didn't keep a list of names of people who detest the cops for one reason or another.
But anyway, yeah...there were some who seemed to state that they thought all cops were the scum of the earth. I wonder whom they'd have called in a situation like that...or maybe they wouldn't call anyone. Maybe they'd have sat and listened as perhaps someone got the shit kicked out of them. Or maybe they'd have played cop and gone over themselves to stop it.
And whom do they call if/when they see or hear an intruder at their door, or maybe skulking around their home in the middle of the night?
Those big old nasty cops...the guys who put their own safety and lives on the line to protect people...even the ones who think they're scum...
OmmmSweetOmmm (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 08:48 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. Then you've never met anyone who has been beaten, clubbed by police without
provocation? I have known a few.
pipi_k (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 09:26 AM
Response to Reply #22
24. That doesn't mean ALL police are scum
If you met a black person who beat you up, would you call all black people scum?
Mr Pip is a retired police Sergeant. Police brutality disgusts him as much as anyone. We see it on TV all the time, and he has nothing but contempt for any officer of the law who uses his badge to abuse or take advantage of others.
People can be upset with A cop.
But to sit here and bash ALL cops? No. That's not gonna fly.
Oh, and I really do sometimes doubt the "without provocation" thing. Years ago I was married to a guy whose family was always bashing the cops. The dad (my FIL) was a drinker in his younger days...raging alcoholic. He had run ins with the cops all the time. Belligerent, nasty, out of control drunk. Well, according to the family, every. single. incident. was "unprovoked". They were always the "victims" of police brutality. Oooookay.
I agree...police should be professional and dispassionate. But sometimes you get one on a really bad day and not-so-nice things are going to happen. Then there are the people who have really shitty, smartass attitudes and cops can pick up on it and it pisses them off.
In the end, it sucks to see a whole group of people get bashed because of a few bad apples...whether they're teachers, cops, politicians, blacks, gays, or whatever.
Shell Beau (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #24
26. It gets terribly old. I absolutely hate it.
My brother is a former cop. Now a state trooper. The stuff they go through on a daily basis... The stuff they see, the people they deal with, I couldn't do it. Some of them are bad. That is absolutely true. I wonder if they get to a breaking point (the ones that are bad). I know I would. I wouldn't resort to violence, but if I had to deal with some of the people they deal with, and had to see mangled up bodies from car accidents or drug deals gone bad, and had to go to the family's homes to tell them a loved one has died, I can't imagine what kind of toll that would take on me. Thankfully, MOST cops handle it quite well. SOme don't.
The oompah primitive, who must've been one of those caught transporting 500 pounds of dope across state lines:
OmmmSweetOmmm (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #24
27. You can ask all the young drivers here how they are harassed by both the local and state police. They stop cars with no probable cause and then search without warrants. And these are the "good polite ones".
Shell Beau (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. Well they must represent all cops.
Because that makes sense.
And I will say that those of us who aren't cops have no clue what it is like to be a cop. NO CLUE! I hear about some of the stories from my brother, and it blows my mind, but then again, he is just a piece of shit cop out to beat the living shit out of anyone who crosses his path. What does he know?
stray cat (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #24
30. Its like saying all teachers sexually prey on students because it occasionally happens
stray cat (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #19
29. My response as well - it seems police are good when you need them
Jennicut (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 06:20 AM
Response to Original message
20. I lived in a house apartment about 8 years ago and the police regularly came out because of the couple right below us on the second floor. Lots of fighting...yelling, screaming, crying, throwing things, things breaking. It scared my then boyfriend (and now husband) and me. Half the time we were not even the ones to call the police so others must have heard it too. You did the right thing. May not be any violence, could be the man or the woman starting it but no need to let it keep happening. Now hopefully the police are well trained enough to handle it properly.
philosophie_en_rose (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-13-09 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
32. Good for you.
You don't know if there's violence, but the police can figure it out. If it's not criminal, the police can at least ask them to be quiet.
