You know, the prowess of the Ukrainian resistance COULD be attributed to the arrival of a certain American. A man who had seen enough, and quit sweeping the floor of the Sonoma tchotchke store where he works. He went home, gazed at the decorations on the wall, and finally listened to the voicemails that he knew would beckon him to Eastern Europe. How, he wondered, could one of the most decorated Navy Seals in history NOT go and join the fight?
I'm writing, of course, of the great Hollis Thomas Wright, formerly of Tiburon, CA. Well-known songwriter and performer, connoisseur of single women and their Italian sportscars, wielder of invisible ink markers, and holder of shotguns to the chests of politicians. The trail of dead Russians may well have the markings of the great TominTib: the smouldering butts of Winstons, empty bottles of Elmer T. Lee, and tire tracks from a 1972 DeTomaso Mangusta. Listen well to the last words of the invaders: Как ужасно. Меня убивает лживый либеральный засранец.! What's that sound on the wind, interrupting the muffled distant artillery explosions? Why, it's the strumming of TominTib, singing a song he probably stole from an actual artist.
