If I could do something with no harmful consequences to myself:
(a) I would get Doug's ex-wife a brain-scan, for her own good.
(b) I would put Fat Che on an enforced diet, for his own good.
(c) I would inject, intravenously, Lydia Pinkham's Special Vegetable Compound for Female Complaints into the dysmenopausal Kansas schoolteacher, for her own good.
(d) I would abolish Democrats, for their own good.
Of course, it's just a bunch of fantasies; they'll never happen.