« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 6   Go Down

Author Topic: trulymad primitive could-a died  (Read 4472 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline USA4ME

  • Evil Capitalist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14586
  • Reputation: +2285/-76
trulymad primitive could-a died
« on: June 13, 2012, 02:51:17 PM »
Quote from:
trumad (31,862 posts)

I could have got my ass shot the other day....

And I do believe if the woman had a gun, I may have...

Story:

I stopped at my local bank to get money out of the walk up ATM. There was a young lady in front of me doing the same.---kind of cute I might add.

She finished her business, and then it was my turn at the ATM.

I finished and walked back to my car as I counted my money.

I have a black Infinity G35.

So--- I open the door to get in--- and there is the young lady sitting in the drivers seat.

She let out a scream straight from the scariest horror flick you've ever seen.

I let out a scream---but not quite as bad...... dude scream
Both of us just staring at each other not knowing what the hell was going on----until..... I realized, it wasn't my car.

She had a black BMW--- very close looking to my car---OK---not that close...but close enough.

I was so caught up in counting my money from the ATM, I didn't notice I walked up to the wrong car.

I quickly and repeatedly starting apologizing to this poor Lady---pointing at my car and saying----see, our cars look alike.

No matter----the terrified look on her face would not dissipate. The incident clearly scared her to death. She didn't laugh and blow it off---smile---she didn't even speak one word.

I got in my car (the right car)...looked over and watched her drive off...and noticed that instead of taking the turn she wanted---it was blocked by other cars...she went the other way just to get out of dodge.

Here's the thing--- I truly believe that if this lady had a gun in her purse or near by---she may have used it because she was that terrified.

I could not imagine if that happen and she put a hole right in my head.... what would the hell would my family have thought? Hopefully a great detective would have figured out I had a brain fart.

This is a story of why a gun would have been good but could have been bad.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002804178

Unfortunately she wasn't armed.

And if she had "put a hole right in my head," what's the chance the bullet would have hit his pea-sized brain anyway?  Likely wouldn't have hit anything at all.

Also note he says he "could have got his ass shot" and then relates that to "put a hole in his head," confirming that his ass and his head are really the same thing.

BTW, a great detective isn't needed to know you daily have brain farts, primitive.

Oh well, better luck next time.

.
Logged
Because third world peasant labor is a good thing.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2012, 03:08:10 PM »
I once walked down the street in Miami.

I could have been shot.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2012, 03:10:35 PM »
What kind of moron confuses a BMW with a G35?   :bs:

:bouncy:
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2012, 03:10:55 PM »
Quote from: SGT Snuggle Bunny on June 13, 2012, 03:08:10 PM
I once walked down the street in Miami.

I could have been shot.
Or eaten.
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Karin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17547
  • Reputation: +1630/-80
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2012, 03:15:33 PM »
Gotta keep your wits about you in a city, Trumad.

I did this before.  I walked out of the store, climbed into the waiting truck, babbling about one thing or another, "you wouldn't believe the line, what a pain in the ass...blah blah blah."  I turned to look at my husband, and there was a strange man sitting there.  He was smirking.  I burst out laughing and apologized profusely.  


You know, I'd always imagined Trumud as a woman. 

Logged

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2012, 03:16:42 PM »
Quote from: chris_ on June 13, 2012, 03:10:35 PM
What kind of moron confuses a BMW with a G35?   :bs:

:bouncy:

He was pulling a Pam.
Logged

Offline thundley4

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 40571
  • Reputation: +2222/-127
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2012, 03:18:43 PM »
Quote
I was so caught up in counting my money from the ATM, I didn't notice I walked up to the wrong car.

Really?  You took that much cash out and it took that long to count it?  Then again, the DUmmie probably scared the girl from the start by standing behind her at the ATM.  Common courtesy would require standing back from a person using an ATM.
Logged

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2012, 03:20:18 PM »
Quote from: BEG on June 13, 2012, 03:16:42 PM
He was pulling a Pam.
Yeah.  "Oh, I have so much money in the bank I just can't count all of it.  Lawdy, lawdy."
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2012, 03:21:39 PM »
Quote from: chris_ on June 13, 2012, 03:20:18 PM
Yeah.  "Oh, I have so much money in the bank I just can't count all of it.  Lawdy, lawdy."

And "I drive a G35".
Logged

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2012, 03:28:55 PM »
One time I was tipping back in my chair and went too far.

I caught myself at the last moment but my heart was pounding.

I could have died.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2012, 03:29:45 PM »
One time I drank milk past its expiration date.

I could have died.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2012, 03:30:41 PM »
Last week I crossed the street before the cross walk sign told me to.

I could have died.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2012, 03:32:02 PM »
One time I had a stroke.

I could have died.

I had to edit, damn iPad. <===== look I pulled a Pam too!
« Last Edit: June 13, 2012, 03:39:09 PM by BEG »
Logged

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2012, 03:32:23 PM »
One time I came out of the bathroom without washing my hands.

I could have died.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline EagleKeeper

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2585
  • Reputation: +133/-100
  • ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2012, 03:35:27 PM »
Yeah...I can see this stud with his pimp suit and GMoney bling swaying back and forth.

Strutting back to his Infinity...licking his thumb and scraping off 20s, so engrossed in the exercise that not only does he go to the wrong parking spot but gets into the wrong car. I hope he gets ice on that thumb.

What I don't understand is why does he feel the need to rub his wealth in the faces of the poor desparate 99% that inhabits the island?  :???:
Logged
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

If you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by.
-Sun Tzu

Offline USA4ME

  • Evil Capitalist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14586
  • Reputation: +2285/-76
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2012, 03:38:29 PM »
Quote from:
Hassin Bin Sober
 
8. Or worse yet, she coulda shot you in the balls.

She can't shoot what the trulymad primitive ain't got, idiot.

.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2012, 03:41:39 PM by USA4ME »
Logged
Because third world peasant labor is a good thing.

Offline Skul

  • Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12475
  • Reputation: +914/-179
  • Chief of the cathouse
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2012, 03:40:52 PM »
I farted at work once.
Everyone else could have died.
Logged
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2012, 03:42:05 PM »
I once laughed so hard milk came out of my nose.

But I wasn't drinking milk at the time.

I could have died!
« Last Edit: June 13, 2012, 03:46:29 PM by SGT Snuggle Bunny »
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline USA4ME

  • Evil Capitalist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14586
  • Reputation: +2285/-76
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2012, 03:44:11 PM »
Quote from:
NightWatcher

4. ooh la la, and Infiniti g35 AND money in the bank...

you deserved whatever you would have gotten. Kidding, but you should be more careful and aware of your surroundings and vehicle around an ATM.

Weird things happen, daily. Its all about judgement calls.

Quote from:
trumad (31,862 posts)
 
9. Total duh moment for sure.

the G35 is old---the money tight.

Car old?  Money tight?  Must be that hopey-changy thing working its magic......... still.

.
Logged
Because third world peasant labor is a good thing.

Offline Mike220

  • Proud owner of a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Reputation: +310/-122
  • Ron Swanson is my hero
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2012, 03:46:28 PM »
Quote
trumad (31,862 posts)
 
9. Total duh moment for sure.

the G35 is old---the money tight.

Tight money, but he needed so long to count it he tried couldn't pay attention and tried to carjack a chick?  :bs:
Logged
Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool. - Bender

"jews run the media" -- CreativeChristie
Woohoo! Bow to me peasants -- Me

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2012, 03:49:09 PM »
I once made a midnight sandwhich with roast beef, pastrami, pravalone, lettuce, tomato and onions.

But then I realized I was out of Miracle Whip.

I could have died.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23049
  • Reputation: +2232/-269
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2012, 03:50:30 PM »
My mom drove me to the mall in her mini-van and dropped me off right in front of my friends.

I could have died.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline EagleKeeper

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2585
  • Reputation: +133/-100
  • ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2012, 03:51:40 PM »
Quote
9. Total duh moment for sure.
the G35 is old---the money tight.

Yeah, gotta walk it back...he's taking friendly fire.

Quote
13. Dear, wait until you get into your car to count your money, Einstein.
It make you a target of muggers if you are flashing cash around. Didn't your mother teach you anything?
 Glad you're not dead.

Heh...the return fire is growing in amount and becoming more acurate.

Quote
trumad (31,862 posts)
17. This was broad daylight---in a very busy parking lot.
i had literally 20 steps to my car from the ATM.
If I get mugged in that situation--- well geez...

FALLBACK!!!

 


Logged
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

If you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by.
-Sun Tzu

Offline USA4ME

  • Evil Capitalist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14586
  • Reputation: +2285/-76
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2012, 03:52:32 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on June 13, 2012, 03:46:28 PM
Tight money, but he needed so long to count it he tried couldn't pay attention and tried to carjack a chick?  :bs:

When he's walking and unable to take off his shoes, I could see the trulymad primitive having difficulty counting $11.

.
Logged
Because third world peasant labor is a good thing.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: trulymad primitive could-a died
« Reply #24 on: June 13, 2012, 03:52:48 PM »
Quote
trumad (31,862 posts)
17. This was broad daylight---in a very busy parking lot.
i had literally 20 steps to my car from the ATM.
If I get mugged in that situation--- well geez...
And you STILL got in the wrong car.

You're too stupid to have money.  You should give it away.
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 6   Go Up
« previous next »