Breaking DUmmy News: Redstone Passed Away

[franksolich]

I would bet that even the most gullible DUmmie on Skins Island recognized that this is a complete work of fiction.  They just couldn't say it out loud because, to do so, would be to question the integrity of a prominent DUmbass.  So they heap praise and pretend to empathize in order to remain safely within the herd.

Well, I looked for something, and couldn't find it--quite obviously, I found a whole lot else, but never mind--because one of Redstone's legends always sort of bothered me.

He claimed to have worked for a private military contractor in Vietnam.

But he was born, apparently, in 1954.

The U.S. was involved in Vietnam--involved in things that would require contractors--until 1973.

It's my understanding that private military contractors hire ex-military, guys who've been in the service a few years.  Generally, guys bordering on middle age.

Redstone seems to have been too young for that sort of thing.

I dunno.

[67 Rover]

At the very least he can rest comfortably knowing that he will still be voting demonrat for years to come.

[Revolution]

 Ouch!

[JakeStyle]

Well, I looked for something, and couldn't find it--quite obviously, I found a whole lot else, but never mind--because one of Redstone's legends always sort of bothered me.

He claimed to have worked for a private military contractor in Vietnam.

But he was born, apparently, in 1954.

The U.S. was involved in Vietnam--involved in things that would require contractors--until 1973.

It's my understanding that private military contractors hire ex-military, guys who've been in the service a few years.  Generally, guys bordering on middle age.

Redstone seems to have been too young for that sort of thing.

I dunno.

I have been looking for that info myself tonight Frank, but have had no success.  I recall Redstone posting about doing contract work as a heavy equipment operator in Vietnam during the war.  I also recall his posts about rescuing his brothers daughter, after he was shot up and had to do the whole Rambo escape thing, but I can't find the original posts

[GOBUCKS]

I'm not sure I doubt Chief S itting Bull's DU suicide note thingy talking himself down, but holy crap!

No cause of death has been mentioned. Maybe the creep finally did the world a favor.

[shadeaux]

Redstone (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-05-07 08:05 PM

Response to Original message

37. Do NOT try to punch the hawk. I tried that with an Osprey once, and the gash I got
 on my wrist took months to heal, including a lot of very painful debridement.

Those birds may be "noble raptors" and all that claptrap, but their beaks are filthy with germs.

Redstone

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6579771#6580310

[shadeaux]

I remember the night with all the flares...please be patient with me while I write

http://upload.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8563300

Redstone (1000+ posts)      Fri Feb-27-09 10:26 PM

Response to Reply #13

14. And I wasn't EVEN a damn soldier! People don't know how damn many wars there were over there;

 I was in one of them that never hit the newspapers; I was a civilian employee of a company under contract to the Air Force, and found myself in a combat situation for which I had agreed with the company that employed me might happen, but you kmow that $1500 per month was damn good money in 1972, so it was a chance that a 19-year-old might take.

Then things took a wrong turn. I'll try to not dream of that night tonight.

Redstone

You HAVE to read the whole thing to appreciate the "true story". 

[catsmtrods]

At the very least he can rest comfortably knowing that he will still be voting demonrat for years to come.

I'm not to sure about that!

[Karin]

At the very least he can rest comfortably knowing that he will still be voting demonrat for years to come.

That right there was funny.  RIP, Bird Smacking one. 

[Gina]

No matter how much we don't like someone.  When they die someone in the world is going to be in anguish because of it.  RIP.

[Tucker]

No matter how much we don't like someone.  When they die someone in the world is going to be in anguish because of it.  RIP.

I'm not sure that's entirely true.

There are lots, and I do mean lots, of DUmmies that are totally alienated from their families. They hate the holiday season because they're not invited to any family functions. They have a 'Celebrate New Years Eve alone" thread every year. They have nowhere to go. They have no friends. Their hate has driven everyone away. They post threads about a sibling or parent that have passed away several months prior and were not informed. For many, the only social interaction they get is from posting at the DUmp. That's it. When they die, the only way they are found is because they get ripe.

[Gina]

When they die, the only way they are found is because they get ripe.

   Ewwwwww. Ok, I was just trying to act like I had some humanity.  EPIC fail 

[GOBUCKS]

I remember the night with all the flares...please be patient with me while I write

http://upload.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8563300

You HAVE to read the whole thing to appreciate the "true story". 

DUmmy Redstone served with Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now!

Redstone, TiTtyboy, DUmb-O-Tex, and Brando, busting caps on commies!

Now it all makes sense.

I love the smell of muscatel in the morning.

[Splashdown]

This poem reminds me of Redstone.

"Miniver Cheevy" by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn,
Grew lean while he assailed the seasons;
He wept that he was ever born,
And he had reasons.

Miniver loved the days of old
When swords were bright and steeds were prancing;
The vision of a warrior bold
Would set him dancing.

Miniver sighed for what was not,
And dreamed, and rested from his labors;
He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot,
And Priam's neighbors.

Minever mourned the ripe renown
That made so many a name so fragrant;
He mourned Romance, now on the town,
And Art, a vagrant.

Minever loved the Medici,
Albeit he had never seen one;
He would have sinned incessantly
Could he have been one.

Miniver cursed the commonplace
And eyed a khaki suit with loathing;
He missed the mediæval grace
Of iron clothing.

Miniver scorned the gold he sought,
But sore annoyed was he without it;
Miniver thought, and thought, and thought,
And thought about it.

Miniver Cheevy, born too late,
Scratched his head and kept on thinking;
Miniver coughed, and called it fate,
And kept on drinking

RIP Redstone. Comfort to whomever mourns.

[DumbAss Tanker]

No matter how much we don't like someone.  When they die someone in the world is going to be in anguish because of it.  RIP.

Yeah, thank God Clara Hitler wasn't alive in 1945 to see what horrible things happened to her little boy.

 

 

[USA4ME]

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nhregister/obituary.aspx?n=colin-goff&pid=154467263&fhid=4191

November 06, 2011
He donated lots of money to my most important charity. I will be missed.
~ David Allen, Washington, District of Columbia



.

[GOBUCKS]

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nhregister/obituary.aspx?n=colin-goff&pid=154467263&fhid=4191

November 06, 2011
He donated lots of money to my most important charity. I will be missed.
~ David Allen, Washington, District of Columbia

As a result, in lieu of flowers the family requests you send your twenty bucks to his widow.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

Hmmm! Looks like TominTib posted something!

Hey, Buddy, if you are reading this...

I was listening to Peter Rowan sing 'Walls of Time' on Prairie Home Companion last night when I called your house to tell you to turn it on.

You were already gone... but we'll be there, won't we? I'll bring some guitars with me.
Tom

[GOBUCKS]

Hmmm! Looks like TominTib posted something!

Link?

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

Link?

http://www.legacy.com/guestbook/nhregister/guestbook.aspx?n=colin-goff&pid=154467263&page=2

[jtyangel]

Really? Most of the condolences from DU? Did he have a life other then that? How sad!

[Tucker]

Really? Most of the condolences from DU? Did he have a life other then that? How sad!

And this from Skimmer.

He donated lots of money to my most important charity. I will be missed.
~
David Allen, Washington, District of Columbia

What a loser.

[GOBUCKS]

He donated lots of money to my most important charity. I will be missed.
~
David Allen, Washington, District of Columbia

Okay, okay, which one of you pricks posted under Skimmer's name?

Aside from impersonating Skimmer, Redstone's whole "condolences" thread at the newspaper is DUmpmonkeys.

[JakeStyle]

Okay, okay, which one of you pricks posted under Skimmer's name?

Aside from impersonating Skimmer, Redstone's whole "condolences" thread at the newspaper is DUmpmonkeys.

Who could have done such a thing?  For shame!

[DumbAss Tanker]

Okay, okay, which one of you pricks posted under Skimmer's name?

Aside from impersonating Skimmer, Redstone's whole "condolences" thread at the newspaper is DUmpmonkeys.

Probably a whole more sighs of relief than tears in his own neighborhood.