Is it really MY fault?

[Texacon]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1851625

FirstLight  (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 03:42 PM
Original message

Is it really MY fault?  

I have a HUD housing voucher since I left my abusive ex 7 years ago. It has been the reason my kids have had a "stable home environment" because since then my employment has been either feast or famine and I have been raising three kids alone and trying to recover my sanity at the same time...

So I moved into this house four years ago - after being moved three years straight by my rental agency. Every time the lease ran out, i was moving, people were selling the houses out from under me or it was furnished and my stuff went into storage, etc...so this house and finall feeling settled was HUGE for us all.

When I moved in, My allowance was 1250-1300 and I was allowed 3 bedrooms. I had to double up two of my kids, but they were the little ones and it was okay, even though it made for some tense times. (boy & girl, and a teen boy +me) When my teen moved out in March, I followed protocol and let HUD know in a timely fashion. My rent didn't change bu it was nice to finally separate the younger siblings. Especially since there had been a law or mandate that said opposite sex siblings shouldn't share after the age of 6 ...they are currently 8 & 9.(I didn;t move the two boys in together because a young boy and a mastrubating teen shouldn't share a room, lol) My daughter is actually pre-pubescent and will be 10 in a couple months, so she definitely needs her own space. I cannot tell you how much it even changed the family dynamics to have each of them in their own domains.

They sent me a letter about my re-certification appointment coming up, and buried in the 4th paragraph was a comment that said since my teen had moved out, i was lowered to a 2 bedroom voucher status...NOWHERE on any of my paperwork did I see the $1300 reduced to $1050...only that line, and the generic newsletter they sent us in July of 2010 stating that they were changing the general rules due to budget cute...all BURIED info.
I read it, but in July of 2010, it didn't apply to me, and it went past my eyeballs and out my brain...

So here i get my current rent breakdown, still NOWHERE does it list my actual VOUCHER amount... Just $1300 rent, what they pay and what I pay... no explanation of how it is broken down, because they do tricky averaging and plus minus percentages on their worksheet which i never get to see...

my rent wen up $500 ...more than I get in welfare for the entire month! why? because I am living beyond my means?
I was IN the Office, for my appointment with the Supervisor for an hour in july...signing my life away again & again, and she NEVER said to me,
"you know, you are only getting a voucher for a 2 bedroom now.."

So now I have to hustle an extra few hundred a month to keep my house, or move?... where? ....uproot my kids AGAIN...? and where am I going to FIND that extra income when there are NO ****ing JOBS and I am lucky to work even 10 hours a week for a non-profit? and if that extra job/income causes me to pay for after school care, it is NOT extra money because daycare sucks up the wages!

I have been struggling my ENTIRE adult life to make something better out of NOTHING. and i feel this huge hand on my head holding me down. I even took advantage of welfare to work and drove 150 miles for 6 months to get a certification in HR management in 2008/09...but I can't break into the field because it isn't a BA, so it did me NO good

I am just. so. done.
I don't want this life anymore, but i don't know how to break free... my heart hurts, i am having trouble breathing, my stress level is off the charts... I want to scream and break shit. I am screwn.

 

Um, yeah.  It's your fault.  How's that big government working for you? 

There's more but I have to go.  Have fun!

KC

[Karin]

This should be a cautionary tale for the DUmmies.  When you rely on the government for your very subsistence for YEARS, shit like this is going to happen.  The government is big and impersonal, and has some hard-and-fast rules that MUST be obeyed.  Who wants to live like that?  Look at all the stress that poor woman is under.  She should have taken charge of her own life a long time ago.   

[Texacon]

Uh oh.

democrat_patriot (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 03:57 PM
Response to Original message

6. It's not your fault.
 
Don't ever think it is.

I wish I had words of wisdom to make it better.

Hire yourself out to small businesses - "Let me handle your employee discipline" many would be glad to have someone take care of it for them. It's the most uncomfortable part of having employees. $40 an incident? Do a Groupon for $25?

FirstLight  (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #6

8. not a bad idea...
 
I contacted my buddies in the newspaper biz to ask if i could sell advertizing and build ads for commission under the table

at this point, i just want to sell it all, and take my kids and go find a commune somewhere to join...**** the world, i wanna get off the ride

Um.  All they're asking of you is to move to a smaller home.  If you can't afford a bigger one then you move to a smaller one and no, I have no sympathy.  I was raised with 4 brothers in a 2 bedroom home for a long time until we could afford a *gasp* 3 bedroom home.  2 boys in one room and 3 in the other.  Hey, it beat the hell out of all 5 of us living in one room.  Get over it.

KC

[Texacon]

This should be a cautionary tale for the DUmmies.  When you rely on the government for your very subsistence for YEARS, shit like this is going to happen.  The government is big and impersonal, and has some hard-and-fast rules that MUST be obeyed.  Who wants to live like that?  Look at all the stress that poor woman is under.  She should have taken charge of her own life a long time ago.   

The DUmmies always forget;  A government large enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have.

KC

[DumbAss Tanker]

Seven years seems like kind of a long time to be sucking on the tit.

[wasp69]

FirstLight  (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 03:42 PM
Original message

Is it really MY fault?  

Well, let's see:  "Living" for 7 years on the good graces of productive citizens, living in an area with no jobs, no thought as to further education and broader skill sets, not the first thought as to what would happen if the gravy train derailed, and you vote for democratics.

Uh, yeah, it's your fault.

[Texacon]

Oh my God.  This is so pathetic.

FirstLight   (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 03:57 PM
Response to Original message

7. I have always been the one to do the right thing...  

Edited on Wed Aug-31-11 03:58 PM by FirstLight

I am the freaking poster child for taking advantage of programs to help and doing my paperwork and toe-ing the line...

I am 'lucky' I have extended family that will help in a pinch, my mom has covered my electric bill or bought back to school for my kids for years...and you realize if I told welfare that, they would want the receipts so they could take the money AWAY from us the following month? NO SHIT, seriously...

it's all bullshit, there is no help, i am poor, i am dirt, it doesn't matter how smart I am or how much I try, I am a drag on the system and they want me to fail....
 

sabrina 1  (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #7

9. You are not a drag on the system, THEY ARE!  

Those who are trying to take away the social safety nets. They are destroying this country by refusing to help people like you, and especially your children who are the future of this country. I understand how you feel, but I disagree with your assessment as to who is the drag on this country, sorry. It is NOT you! Wish I knew what to tell you. Have you called your Congressmember? I have friends who did get help from their member of Congress when they were in a tough spot like this. Some of them are pretty good at handling Government agencies and getting answers they won't give to ordinary people.

Oh dear Lord.  They are asking her to move to a smaller house!  They are not destroying safety nets.  This person has, proudly evidently, been on public assistance for 7 freakin' years!!  Now they would like her to move into a smaller home. 

What the hell is going to happen when ALL her kids are gone, she is still on public assistance and STILL wants to live in a freakin' 3 bedroom home because "everyone else has one."?

 

KC

[Rugnuts]

Seven years seems like kind of a long time to be sucking on the tit.

i agree!


maybe her reduced "rent subsidy" could afford one of those new berkley dumpster houses.

[shadeaux]

As a Medi-CAL patient for my entire adult life

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/FirstLight

[Texacon]

uppityperson  (1000+ posts)      Wed Aug-31-11 04:20 PM

Response to Original message

14. Sometimes doing the right thing sucks. I have a question about the bedroom thing
 
Since your opposite sex kids aren't supposed to share a bedroom, how can they give you a voucher for only 2 bedrooms? Are they assuming you don't need one or will share? Seems you should still be eligible for 3 bedrooms.

Good luck with it, sounds like you've had quite the time, reading this and your other post. 
 

FirstLight  (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 04:21 PM

Response to Reply #14

16. the July 2010 newsletter recinded that rule,,  

budget cuts, ya'know

$100 bill says she knew she was being downgraded and thought they would either miss it or let it slip.

How come DUmmie FirstLight can see the need to trim her own budget but can't see the need for the government?

KC

[ScubaGuy]

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Wed Aug-31-11 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. not a bad idea...
   
I contacted my buddies in the newspaper biz to ask if i could sell advertizing and build ads for commission under the table


at this point, i just want to sell it all, and take my kids and go find a commune somewhere to join...**** the world, i wanna get off the ride

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Wed Aug-31-11 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
7. I have always been the one to do the right thing...
   
Edited on Wed Aug-31-11 03:58 PM by FirstLight
I am the freaking poster child for taking advantage of programs to help and doing my paperwork and toe-ing the line...

I am 'lucky' I have extended family that will help in a pinch, my mom has covered my electric bill or bought back to school for my kids for years...and you realize if I told welfare that, they would want the receipts so they could take the money AWAY from us the following month? NO SHIT, seriously...

it's all bullshit, there is no help, i am poor, i am dirt, it doesn't matter how smart I am or how much I try, I am a drag on the system and they want me to fail....

What happened to paying your fair share?  Paying taxes is patriotic.

Is doing the right thing collecting welfare benefits, working under the table and NOT paying taxes?

[Texacon]

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/FirstLight

Uhm.  What the hell is this?

Hey mods: Is there an App for DU?

Posted by FirstLight in General Discussion

Mon May 23rd 2011, 04:38 PM

...or are you planning one for DU3...? Just curious.

Don't you have some type of smartphone with internet access to be worried about apps?  I don't have a smart phone so can someone please elaborate on this?

KC

[shadeaux]

It gets better   

Hey all-
One of the things I do as a freelancer is work for my favorite mentor/shaman/transactional analyst, and all around wise woman...doing basic marketing, local stuff, website changes, and prepare and co-facilitate groups and workshops.

We are starting to branch out from just the quarterly circle group, and the occasional vision quest and solstice gathering, drumming, etc to try something new...

"Virtual Circles"

I am building the website for her Center of Celebrating Life at this time and wonder what you might think of something like this being offered to you? She has a Skype phone, and can do conference calls through her computer...as well as create downloadable meditations for the week so the group can then come together and share the experiences and grow together. do you think it would work?

I love it, it is just a LOT of work to produce...but this is fun too. I am taking some of the taped groups and specials we have done and I am transcribing those to make downloadable workbooks and such for purchase too... I think the website will be a sucess, I just want to see if anyone has any "hits" on the timing, the concept, etc...

a-ho!
*talking stick is now passed*

[Texacon]

shadeaux ... thanks for the link.  This is really interesting;

So, I've been 'seriously' job-searching for about 2 weeks now....

Posted by Journalgrrl in General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010)

Tue Aug 10th 2010, 01:37 PM

I say it in quotes because I wonder how willing I am to jump through these hoops to actually GET said job.
Like, I really don't think I'd relocate my family to another city where I have no support system or relatives nearby to help with my kids, just for a job that may not last 6 months or more. Because so many of these employers are laying off and going unde as we continue to 'downturn'.

But, like a good prole, I am submitting to everything I think i may be qualified for, even if it is in sac or reno- most of them at least generate a rejection slip within a week anyway, or just ignore me.
And then there's the AUTOMATED APPLICATION...where you can't even really upload a resume, you have to check off all these asinine questions, and sometimes they time out in the middle for no reason. funfunfun.

Here's my big question: I know these corporations like to think they own us, but it is really necessary to allow them to run credit checks and background checks as well as offer bodily fluids to even be CONSIDERED for the job?

It galls me.

I guess I am shooting myself in the foot and will always end up at Mom & Pop companies, because I just can't bring myself to do it.

Not because I am hiding anything, 'cept maybe my medical MJ, which isn't protected anyway... but JUST on a matter of principal.Does anyone get what I mean?

Nope, nothing to see here just move along.

KC

[Erasmus]

When I moved in, My allowance was 1250-1300 and I was allowed 3 bedrooms. I had to double up two of my kids, but they were the little ones and it was okay, even though it made for some tense times. (boy & girl, and a teen boy +me)

Too stupid to disconnect the interwebs access to help her afford the higher rent (but she has her priorities -posting on DU- straight).

There's no help

Except for the 5 different government programs you're on that supply your housing, food, water, and clothing.

I am dirt.

That's exactly the way democrats want you to feel.  Completely worthless without government to make your life richer and fuller.  Congrats, you're the model welfare recipient.

Here's my big question: I know these corporations like to think they own us, but it is really necessary to allow them to run credit checks and background checks as well as offer bodily fluids to even be CONSIDERED for the job?

Yes, unless you're applying to be a welfare recipient or crackwhore.  Otherwise, it's nice to have a sober workforce operating machinery and dealing with customers.

[shadeaux]

You mean to tell me she can afford medical weed but not the extra rent ?

Is she for real ?

Oh I'm sorry.  She's a DUmmy.  Priorities. 

Your tax dollars at work.  There is no fraud people !!!!   

[DumbAss Tanker]

I am dirt.

Not at all.  Dirt is far more productive.  You, milady, are a half-wit welfare-slurping hippie drone, taking everything and contributing nothing.

[ScubaGuy]

There's a whole lot that we're not being told.

Link

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Thu Jan-21-10 01:36 PM
Original message
I am so ****ing DONE
   
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 01:39 PM by FirstLight
At the very least, my Obama Biden stickers are coming OFF the car this week.

and if I had the resources, I would be gone from this country...
...or at least run away to my ranch in the hills and stop paying taxes and voting...**** em...if they want my livelihood, they can come after me to get it.
...Pull my kids out of school and go live off the land, set up my own off-the-grid home and just do what I WANT.

I am tired of trying to find a job and make life work by THEIR rules, tired of having my earned income credit TAKEN to pay for student loans on and education that is null & void
tired of hoping for things to get better when they really are not going to anytime soon
tired of trying to make my children good little citizens, when they should be learning more about ecology and surviving the next decades of Earth changes
tired of having to tell the welfare office details about my life, every nickel and dime and bank statement watched for fraud when the banks and politicians are stealing openly
tired of the way things keep getting worse, even when you think they can't

I'm not giving up, i am taking my life back.

but first i'm going to go have a good :cry:

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Thu Jan-21-10 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. You rock!
   
My parents on 40 acres in the wine country (bought when i was 7, used to spend weekends up there), with an artesian well and plenty of sunshine and room for permaculture...in fact i have figured out how to turn it into "something" (farm/retreat cntr) for long time now. But they say I can't move up there because they are very old fashioned and a woman ALONE just doesn't DO things like that...and i'd have to drive an 8 mile dirt road every morning to get to town and get the kids to school, and there are rattlesnakes...etc...

I guess i will need my tribe to move up there with me...build a few yurts and start a ice little commune of about 3 families or so...

*sigh*
it is my lifelong dream and I know it is a whole 'nother LIFETIME of work...but if I cant go till I am pushing 50, so be it!

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Thu Jan-21-10 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #58
72. Lol, my folks are so old-school...depression-era folks
   
My dad is 78, mom is 74...He sits in front of Faux all day and is very limited in his views (and for so many years growing up he was a Dem, too.) Mom is more liberal. But I think it is a condition of their generation to be ruled by fear and anxiety.
No, they don't live there, it's never been more than a wekend thing when was a kid. Now the property is all but abandoned...with a 3 bd house too..nobody has even BEEN up there for a few years...they check on it every five years or so, just to make sure the road hasn;t washed out or the house fallen apart or the property hasn;t been taken over by the pot growers. (hehe)

But the water supply is not reliable and a MODERN well needs to be surveyed and dug... the road really does need some real grading with a dozer and maybe a layer of good gravel (or that new eco-asphalt that filters the water through to avoid erosion) to keep it stable...and I would love to retrofit the house for solar, etc...

*sigh* ...I swear, it really sux knowing it is there and I can't access it. I have been telling my whole family that I am going to LIVE there and FARM one day since I was a teen... they all think I am nuts. They Like infrastructure. wierdos.

Healdsbrg, eh? do you know Armstrong Redwoods outside of Guerneville? ya, nice area...remote and good growing season and climate...

[kraven]

Her son couldn't share a room with his older brother because the older brother masturbated often? Did she really say that? OMG, how on Earth did all the folks from previous generations that shared a room with siblings survive?

If she is so obsessed with her kids having their own room, when she moves into her 2 bedroom free house she can give the kids each a room and park her ass on the sofa.

[Freeper]

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Thu Jan-21-10 01:36 PM
Original message
I am so ****ing DONE
   
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 01:39 PM by FirstLight
At the very least, my Obama Biden stickers are coming OFF the car this week.

and if I had the resources, I would be gone from this country...
...or at least run away to my ranch in the hills and stop paying taxes and voting...**** em...if they want my livelihood, they can come after me to get it.
...Pull my kids out of school and go live off the land, set up my own off-the-grid home and just do what I WANT.

I am tired of trying to find a job and make life work by THEIR rules, tired of having my earned income credit TAKEN to pay for student loans on and education that is null & void
tired of hoping for things to get better when they really are not going to anytime soon
tired of trying to make my children good little citizens, when they should be learning more about ecology and surviving the next decades of Earth changes
tired of having to tell the welfare office details about my life, every nickel and dime and bank statement watched for fraud when the banks and politicians are stealing openly
tired of the way things keep getting worse, even when you think they can't

I'm not giving up, i am taking my life back.

but first i'm going to go have a good :cry:

Hmmmm, I wonder could it be?
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj-m6Gq_2Y&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

It's damn near the same exact rant.

[GOBUCKS]

But they say I can't move up there because they are very old fashioned and a woman ALONE just doesn't DO things like that...and i'd have to drive an 8 mile dirt road every morning to get to town and get the kids to school, and there are rattlesnakes...etc...

I believe that's where poor, stupid Beth Ferrari lives, in that little camper with her mother and two big smelly dogs.

[ScubaGuy]

Hmmmm, I wonder could it be?
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj-m6Gq_2Y&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

It's damn near the same exact rant.

Holy crap!  There's your Obama voter.

Why should I have to work and pay for stuff?  Why should I have to pay rent, pay for my car.  Land, water, everything should be free!
I was happy when I wasn't working.

They had electricity in ancient Africa?  I wonder what happened to it?



If it was that good, I would be happy to give a few bucks to get her a one way ticket back.

[Chris_]

They had electricity in ancient Africa?  I wonder what happened to it?

Someone forgot to pay the bill

[Tess Anderson]

Now I'm confused - so it's her parents' ranch?

FirstLight  (1000+ posts)        Wed Aug-31-11 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. well...
 He is an 2 time ex-felon, just out of san quentin this year, we have a restraining order on him and have changed our names to hide... He keeps asking the child support people for an extention to find a job...

besides, he is also a child-pron addict (misdemeanor, they had to examine my daughter when she was 2 to see if he hurt her, inconclusive results)
and his big bust in 06 (we bailed in 04) was for selling drugs and assault... so ya, I am afraid to touch that with a 10 foot pole

  the drama

[LC EFA]

FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Aug-31-11 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. not a bad idea...
  
...

at this point, i just want to sell it all, and take my kids and go find a commune somewhere to join...**** the world, i wanna get off the ride

Now this right here is frickin' hilarious.

You honestly think that when you go and join that commune - you'll be given a nice 3 bedroom house all for you and your two non-productive eaters young children ?

Think that the overseer will be letting you hit up that "medical" weed while working on a drum circle routine ?

Guess again.

Should you actually go and join a commune - you'll know hardship, slave labour, deprivation and poverty that'll leave you begging for the bum-deal you think you're getting now.

It is brainless, worthless, lazy bums like you who advocate communal living, while having utterly no concept of the real world end results of its implementation are, who are what is wrong with society today.