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Offline franksolich

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poll: who's the best writer?
« on: July 06, 2011, 01:59:17 PM »
Oh my.

I just got a personal message overpraising franksolich for his writing.

I'm loath to disagree, but I must.  After all, a professional evaluation of franksolich's writing done some years ago explicitly stated, "nothing more than a dry recitation of facts in logical order, no depth, no passion."

That's what happens when one submits an article laudatory of George Bush to a bunch of left-wing academicians; this "nothing more than a dry recitation of facts in logical order."

So I began wondering; who's the best writer here, or on Skins's island?

I'm not talking about the creators of imaginative and funny one-liners and two-liners; we've got enough exceptional talent in that department to stock all the Hollywood studios to overflowing.  If Bob Hope were still around, just about everybody here would be on his payroll.

I'm talking about prose, say two or three paragraphs or more.

I always considered OkieJohn the sans peer, the ne plus ultra, the uber alles, of writers, but alas he was here with us on conservativecave for only about the first nine months before he left us for another time and place, the Eternal One.

There's one person here exceptional not only in his comedic one- and two-liners, but awesome in his prose, gently crafted with caring skill and refined touch.  The problem is, JohnnyReb doesn't write enough of it, usually sticking to the one- and two-liners.  Those times the gentleman from South Carolina goes into prose, he doesn't merely hand us something; he graces us something, powerful and evocative and resonatory its honest modesty.   Understated elegance.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2011, 02:17:52 PM »
Of the choices, it's clearly 'Somebody from here,' whether it is you with your gift for storytelling, Cindy with her excellent ability to state things in a tight but insightful way, the occasionally-esoteric musings of MSB, or any of at least a dozen others.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2011, 02:46:50 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on July 06, 2011, 02:17:52 PM
Of the choices, it's clearly 'Somebody from here,' whether it is you with your gift for storytelling, Cindy with her excellent ability to state things in a tight but insightful way, the occasionally-esoteric musings of MSB, or any of at least a dozen others.

Actually, there's, as usual, an ulterior motive here, one that nothing's hurt if I say that.

I was watching an exchange of personal messages between a couple of primitives on Skins's island, in which one primitive asked another primitive, "do you think this would be a good idea to post?"

It was about the "best writer" on Skins's island.

I dunno why the primitives feel obligated to ask other primitives if something's "okay" to post on Skins's island; I surely hope nothing of this sort happens here, behind closed doors.

And so I'm, as usual (this isn't the first time) pre-empting the primitives.

Alas, the poor primitives.
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Offline Karin

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2011, 03:04:19 PM »
We have a ton of good writers here.  Just off the top of my head, I'm calling out DumbAssTanker, Snugs, GOBUCKS, Delilahmused, Frank, almost too many to name.  And, that's the beauty of JohnnyReb's posts.  Clean, clear, concise, wise, and you don't have to wade through any blah blah blah. 

I can see any of these guys writing for Weekly Standard, AmSpec, NR. 

All of the DUmp people are terrible writers.  They don't respect the audience, everything is condescending whether they intend that or not, and they think it's edgy and cool to litter them with F bombs.  And they do drone on and on, especially Pitt and Skinner. 
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2011, 03:07:24 PM »
Trying to identify the "Best Writer on Skin's Island" is like picking the "Tallest Midget," "Smartest Idiot, or "Craziest DUmmie."
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Offline franksolich

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2011, 03:11:40 PM »
Quote from: Karin on July 06, 2011, 03:04:19 PM
All of the DUmp people are terrible writers.  They don't respect the audience, everything is condescending whether they intend that or not, and they think it's edgy and cool to litter them with F bombs.  And they do drone on and on, especially Pitt.

Oh yeah.

Many years ago I told this story at our old home, about a story I'd heard from workers and peasants who'd been imprisoned during the heyday of the socialists.  

There was a bucket in the cell, used for a latrine.  A guard came around at breakfast and supper, announcing that the prisoners were about to be fed.

Once the door was open, the guard took the latrine bucket from the last cell, splashing it on the prisoners, hollering, "eat shit, pigs!" and then walking away.

The Bostonian Drunkard, notorious for posting something and then walking away (rather than hanging around to engage in dialogue with his readers), reminded me of that.  He'd throw a bunch of shit at the primitives, yelling that they'd better enjoy it, and then walking away.
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2011, 03:38:40 PM »
Oh wow, it's a sweep!
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2011, 03:58:09 PM »
Quote from: Ballygrl on July 06, 2011, 03:38:40 PM
Oh wow, it's a sweep!

Poll results brought to you by:

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Offline thundley4

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2011, 04:41:22 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on July 06, 2011, 02:17:52 PM
Of the choices, it's clearly 'Somebody from here,' whether it is you with your gift for storytelling, Cindy with her excellent ability to state things in a tight but insightful way, the occasionally-esoteric musings of MSB, or any of at least a dozen others.

You hit three top writers in their categories. 

Frank for his life stories, MSB for his humorous "news"  stories, and Cindy for her rants against the stooooopidity of the DUmmies.
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Offline jukin

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2011, 04:50:03 PM »
I could see "Biggest Drug Addict" or Laziest Welfare Mooch", but never best writer or most innovative engineer, or most productive businessman.

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2011, 04:52:40 PM »
Quote from: jukin on July 06, 2011, 04:50:03 PM
I could see "Biggest Drug Addict" or Laziest Welfare Mooch", but never best writer or most innovative engineer, or most productive businessman.



"Most Gay" could also be a category.
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Offline Boudicca

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2011, 04:53:20 PM »
I voted for you, Frank.  I do honestly believe you're the best writer here.  And there are some pretty damn good writers here at the Cave. :cheersmate:

This is NOT an attempt to soft shoe you so you'll continue to entertain us with the escapades of the Asylum's Best of the Worst. :-)
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2011, 05:05:28 PM »
Simply picking someone from there for me is easy: Doug's stupid ex-wife, of course!

LOL
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2011, 05:11:27 PM »
Quote from: Duke Nukum on July 06, 2011, 05:05:28 PM
Simply picking someone from there for me is easy: Doug's stupid ex-wife, of course!

LOL
Well, she does claim to have been validated (by her fellow DUmpmonkeys) as a thinker and a writer.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2011, 05:50:34 PM »
My take is a little different.  I enjoy reading certain people's posts because they are unique in their own abilities.  I wouldn't read a post by Mr. Wiggum, and expect to get the same thing I do out of a post by Jukin, no more than I would read a post by Vesta, and expect to see anything relevant, or that makes sense. 

(Just kidding Vesta.  I read your stuff too.  The good, and the not so good.  :-))

That being said, GOBUCKS probably has the lion's share of the high fives I have delivered.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2011, 06:02:32 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on July 06, 2011, 02:17:52 PM
Of the choices, it's clearly 'Somebody from here,' whether it is you with your gift for storytelling, Cindy with her excellent ability to state things in a tight but insightful way, the occasionally-esoteric musings of MSB, or any of at least a dozen others.

     Cindy for sure.
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a certain percentage of DU is depressed and has other mental issues.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2011, 06:05:15 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on July 06, 2011, 06:02:32 PM
     Cindy for sure.

You only like her because she makes cookies.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2011, 06:08:02 PM »
Quote from: SGT Snuggle Bunny on July 06, 2011, 06:05:15 PM
You only like her because she makes cookies.


     I love her. Always have. I should post here more often to get a few votes for my own self.
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NJCher (31,658 posts)

5. IMO

a certain percentage of DU is depressed and has other mental issues.

Offline franksolich

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #18 on: July 06, 2011, 06:09:56 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on July 06, 2011, 06:08:02 PM

     I love her. Always have. I should post here more often to get a few votes for my own self.

Whoa.  You're not even at a thousand yet.

And you're an old-timer, sir.

How did you manage to post less than a thousand by now?

Maybe by posting only on the fifth Monday (of months that have five Mondays), where the date's an even number?

Surely not.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2011, 06:15:09 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on July 06, 2011, 06:09:56 PM
Whoa.  You're not even at a thousand yet.

And you're an old-timer, sir.

How did you manage to post less than a thousand by now?

Maybe by posting only on the fifth Monday (of months that have five Mondays), where the date's an even number?

Surely not.

I take long periods off, alas. I'm extremely busy...I actually work for a living, just like everyone else, but my job is extremely demanding and the DUmp has gotten highly predictable. Only lately has it seemed to perk up, and this being the DU Golden Season (Independence Day, followed by Hiroshima and Nagasaki days), I just have to chime in. I suspect I'll stay around for a while now, since my mole behavior is getting tedious and pointless.




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NJCher (31,658 posts)

5. IMO

a certain percentage of DU is depressed and has other mental issues.

Offline miskie

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2011, 07:46:11 PM »
My word, nearly everyone here is a better writer than those self-proclaimed authors and journalists. Its actually gotten to the point where I can't even thoroughly read their pompous, overrated drivel anymore.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2011, 07:51:14 PM »
I just realized this poll is missing the DUmp's poet laureate.
I think coach is being a prose-ist.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2011, 07:52:34 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on July 06, 2011, 07:51:14 PM
I just realized this poll is missing the DUmp's poet laureate.
I think coach is being a prose-ist.

Yeah, I am; prose only.

That's why you, sir, weren't mentioned, because you're pretty much the emperor of the witty one- and two-liners, of which the rest of us appreciate.
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Offline Skul

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Re: poll: who's the best writer?
« Reply #23 on: July 07, 2011, 01:37:23 AM »
I was going to vote for Franksolich.
Not now.
His head would get big, and he'd try to sell Nebraska.
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