The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on June 04, 2011, 08:26:30 AM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=403x3930
Oh my.
xxxxxx xxx xxxxx (1000+ posts) Sat May-28-11 12:12 AM
Original message
When did you first hear the term "picker"?
The show on History Channel seems to have popularized the term and the concept, but we all know it goes back far longer. I first heard it probably about 1980 or so, when I first started buying old fountain pens and watches. I got to know a number of antique dealers, a few of which remain my friends. Pickers were essentially the wholesalers of the trade.
When did you first hear the term? Has anyone ever been a picker?
I dunno where it is--it's here somewhere in the DUmpster--but anyway, obviously whatshisname, who acknowledges he reads the DUmpster, got the idea from here. I think our esteemed colleagues Tucker and GOBUCKS initiated inquiries about the word "picker," after which whatshisname took their inquiry over to Skins's island.
northoftheborder (1000+ posts) Tue May-31-11 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
1. I first heard it with the TV show American Pickers, which I love.
grasswire (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-01-11 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
2. I first heard it about fifteen years ago.
I was being tutored by a friend who had been a paper picker and dealer in Western Massachusetts for a couple of decades. I spent two summers following him around to auctions and sales in that fertile area. He was a picker and dealer too. But he didn't call himself that. But he called his old friend a picker and that he was. He picked Cape Cod and New England shore regularly, mostly looking for photography images and paper and books.
In that sense -- the historical expert with broad access and identified buyers like museums and collectors -- I am not a picker. Much of what I do is serendipitous. I stumble across things, looking for anything I can make a buck on. Might be pottery, might be linens, might be paper, might be books.
I'm thinking of getting back in. I miss it.
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grasswire (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-01-11 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
I was being tutored by a friend who had been a paper picker and dealer in Western Massachusetts for a couple of decades. I spent two summers following him around to auctions and sales in that fertile area.
DUmmy grasswire, who aspires to be the Martha Stewart of pie shops and pot, got her start as an antique dealer's groupie.
She was fascinated by his junk.
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I picked cotton....does that make me a picker?
Waiting for the cotton picking jokes.... :-)
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oh mio frank!
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oh mio frank!
There's no harm in it, and actually such a thing should be encouraged, but whatshisname isn't the only primitive who's read something here, and then brought up the same topic on Skins's island (it's been going on for years)--but it does show a lack of imagination among the primitives, getting their ideas from somewhere else.
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oh mio frank!
You know, madam, the last four campfires I inspected (but didn't bring over here), three of them mentioned things that were first mentioned right here in the DUmpster.
whatshisname mentioned the d'Alessandro crime family of Baltimore--and trust me, the notorious d'Alessandro family has never been discussed on Skins's island, ever. I'm sure I know where whatshisname got the idea, although he incorrectly capitalizes the "d" in the name.
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There's no harm in it, and actually such a thing should be encouraged, but whatshisname isn't the only primitive who's read something here, and then brought up the same topic on Skins's island (it's been going on for years)--but it does show a lack of imagination among the primitives, getting their ideas from somewhere else.
I guess we're more paison to him than people at DU. How come he doesn't come out of the closet here?
Translation
Credo che siamo più paison per lui che le persone a DU. Come mai egli non esce allo scoperto qui?
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I guess we're more paison to him than people at DU. How come he doesn't come out of the closet here?
Actually, whatshisname doesn't have to.
After all, franksolich's mole on Skins's island is pretty quiet too, but remember, franksolich's mole is not to cause any discombobulation there, but rather to cultivate trust and cull information from other primitives via personal messages.
Which is why my fellow alum Skins, who surely must know the identity of franksolich's mole, allows him to exist. franksolich leaves Skins alone, and Skins leaves franksolich alone.
As far as I know, whatshisname hasn't violated any rules or the decorum of this site, and so I'm copacetic, cool, with him being here.
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Oh My.... :popcorn:
Stinky The Clown (1000+ posts) Sat Jun-04-11 12:21 PM
Response to Original message
3. Fwanker, you poor, misguided fool . . . .
Edited on Sat Jun-04-11 12:43 PM by Stinky The Clown
Yes, I got the idea from there. But only to show you how ill-informed you are.
Here's an article from 2003 that uses the term and describes it pretty much as in the OP. I'll bet more than 13 seconds on the Google would turn up even older articles and use of the term.
http://www.journalofantiques.com/Feb03/businessfeb03.htm
So, no, fWanker, it didn't come from the teevee show.
By the way, buddy, how's the dating scene been for ya?
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Oh My.... :popcorn:
Well, well.
I'm rendered speechless; I thought whatshisname had forgotten franksolich existed.
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Oh My.... :popcorn:
Oh look, the monkey is starting to fling poo...
Hi stinky! :bigbird:
:retards:
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Okay, I recovered my powers of speech.
Quite obviously, whatshisname is referring to this, from this:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,59649.30.html
Romance is for real life, not for the internet.
Notice, please, franksolich usually omits the sex-element from his stories, so as to keep them clean.
Right now, franksolich has been dating, off-and-on, a blonde gold-digger.
She doesn't know yet it's brass.
Right now, the dating life is sort of so-so, but it happens, going from cold to hot to cold to hot to cold.
I hope that answers whatshisname's question.
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Okay, I recovered my powers of speech.
Quite obviously, whatshisname is referring to this, from this:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,59649.30.html
Right now, the dating life is sort of so-so, but it happens, going from cold to hot to cold to hot to cold.
I hope that answers whatshisname's question.
You have a fan, frank.
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You have a fan, frank.
Yeah, but it's a problem; I call it my Margaret Mead problem.
Once primitives know they're being observed by decent and civilized people, they change their behavior.
They're still primitives, but they act differently, usually so as to please their observers.
That ruins the whole point of anthropology.
Anthropological observation requires that primitives act naturally, not artificially.
Margaret Mead discovered this phenomenon during the early 1930s, when she noticed South Seas Islanders, especially the top ones, the most prominent ones, started seeking her favor by giving her gifts.
She just as soon would've preferred they didn't know she was there.
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You have a fan, frank.
Whatshisname also forgets that I said there was nothing wrong with it, aping decent and civilized people.
There's no harm in it, and actually such a thing should be encouraged, but whatshisname isn't the only primitive who's read something here, and then brought up the same topic on Skins's island (it's been going on for years)--but it does show a lack of imagination among the primitives, getting their ideas from somewhere else.
It's harmless, but it does show a lack of intellect and imagination.
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Well, well.
I'm rendered speechless; I thought whatshisname had forgotten franksolich existed.
And here I was thinking you wanted to keep a low profile.
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And here I was thinking you wanted to keep a low profile.
And it's my own fault.
That was the biggest ****-up I ever made.
When conservativecave, and specifically the DUmpster, got underway, I was big, really big, about promoting the site to primitives. My objective was to help bring in traffic.
A fine and noble objective, to be sure.
However, I forgot to remember that the goals of the DUmpster and the goals of franksolich were at odds with each other.
The goal of the DUmpster of course is to illuminate decent and civilized people about the stupidities of the primitives.
The goal of franksolich is pure anthropology; to observe the primitives in their natural primitive state without the primitives knowing they're being observed (because if they know, they alter their behavior).
The goal of the DUmpster of course is the superior goal, the paramount goal, and one which I enthusiastically support, but damn, it's messed up my anthropological research for the betterment of humanity.
But again, it's my own damned fault.
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OMG frank! :lmao:
I really think he likes us better than his fellow DU'ers.
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OMG frank! :lmao:
I really think he likes us better than his fellow DU'ers.
Well, that's not saying much. The DUmmies hate each other nearly as much as they hate Christians and everything else decent and good.
I just think Stimpy's vulgar, simpleminded mentions of coach are his misguided way to campaign for Top DUmmy (And let's face it, that's the only award that matters. All those other categories are no more meaningful than John F'n's Purple Hearts.) I have little doubt his campaign will fail, because he is one of the most boring, unimaginative, unentertaining DUmmies in the entire DUmp. He squats by the catbox all day, making what seems like dozens of posts every single day. Aside from his occasional obscene references to coach, not one of his efforts is remembered for ten seconds by anyone who reads it. He just isn't very smart.
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Well, that's not saying much. The DUmmies hate each other nearly as much as they hate Christians and everything else decent and good.
I just think Stimpy's vulgar, simpleminded mentions of coach are his misguided way to campaign for Top DUmmy (And let's face it, that's the only award that matters. All those other categories are no more meaningful than John F'n's Purple Hearts.) I have little doubt his campaign will fail, because he is one of the most boring, unimaginative, unentertaining DUmmies in the entire DUmp. He squats by the catbox all day, making what seems like dozens of posts every single day. Aside from his occasional obscene references to coach, not one of his efforts is remembered for ten seconds by anyone who reads it. He just isn't very smart.
I don't like when people campaign for votes.
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I'm donning my primitive hat, thinking like a primitive for a minute here.
I wonder if whatshisname is really campaigning for votes, or stalking franksolich.
After all, he does read franksolich a great deal.
So that must mean whatshisname is stalking me.
And come to think of it, there has been a lot of Italian-looking strangers running around the roof of Nebraska lately.
So that has to mean whatshisname is stalking franksolich.
Okay, I'll take my primitive hat off now, resuming thinking like a decent and civilized person.
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Stinky The Clown (1000+ posts) Sat Jun-04-11 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. If it was about anthropology . . . . .
. . . . fWanker, and the Margaret Meade thing were meaningful to your (:snort: ) work, you'd be more concerned with keeping your self-absorbed showboating yap shut.
Look, fWanker, I know this is all ya got to even approach having a life, but being a peeping tom is pretty ignoble, even for a person like you.
Gipper, can it, you silly ass kisser.
Cigarette girl, you sad sycophant.
That does it. I'm posting photos of Stimpy's little cat pecker.
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That does it. I'm posting photos of Stimpy's little cat pecker.
Oh my.
Whatshisname seems grouchy tonight.
I'll think of something to cheer him up, but it's late here too, so it'll have to be later.
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It just occurred to me.
Whatshisname misunderstands franksolich's anthropological interest in the primitives on Skins's island.
franksolich has never claimed to be a professional anthropologist, or a serious student of the subject.
As odd as this might sound, it's just light amusement, a hobby, a little recreation, nothing more.
Some people--most markedly the primitives--want "fun" fed to them.
Other people prefer to get "fun" by looking for it, searching it out, scavenging for it.
It's the difference between mindlessly watching the boob-tube in Baltimore or Connecticut, and actively creating situations out here on the eastern foothills of the Sandhills of Nebraska, where the script of the "show" is spontaneous and unpredictable.....and with the primitives, highly amusing.
I can think of hobbies and recreations much worse than this, and the primitives pursue them.
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That does it. I'm posting photos of Stimpy's little cat pecker.
They love me, they really love me! :lmao:
:retard:
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Oh my.
Whatshisname seems grouchy tonight.
I'll think of something to cheer him up, but it's late here too, so it'll have to be later.
He's still upset that the freepers killed Andy, although the freepers have never killed anyone unless they needed killing.
He's also pissed off by the Eye-tie gibberish from the Cigarette Girl, and frustrated by the sure knowledge that he doesn't have a chance to win DUmmy of the Year.
And it doesn't help that Sparkly won't allow him to use the upstairs toilet.
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.....and frustrated by the sure knowledge that he doesn't have a chance to win DUmmy of the Year.
I wouldn't go that far out on a limb.
I never voted for whatshisname myself, as the pickings have always been good, but I wouldn't count him out.
Whatshisname will however have to work harder at getting along with franksolich, though, because if he did win, it's franksolich who writes the award. If I were whatshisname, I'd think carefully about that.
After all, that's why I was nervous last year that my fellow alum Skins might be one of the winners (he wasn't), because I would then be compelled to write some not-nice things about him.
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That does it. I'm posting photos of Stimpy's little cat pecker.
You know, der $kammer can't really like stinky deliberately breaking his rules. Maybe frank should help his fellow alum out again.
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And fWanker, no one is stalking you, even as you act like the creepiest peeping tom imaginable. Does this peeing that you do help keep your palms hair free?
Poor stinky. If we're so bad for watching them, what's his life like that all he can do is watch us watching?
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That does it. I'm posting photos of Stimpy's little cat pecker.
Stimpy doesn't have a pecker just like Stinky.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KE-1BxjdxA8/SR3kPRxXiNI/AAAAAAAAAPA/nCJS8P5riG4/s400/ren-n-stimpy.gif)
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It's late, I'm beat, but before I hit the sack, I must titillate whatshisname and other primitives stalking franksolich.
There's a lot of difficulties involved with stalking franksolich, including the fact that only three photographs of franksolich have ever appeared on the internet. (Usually for the sake of internet safety, I suggest one post only photographs of oneself as an infant, but I don't even go that far.)
One of them was posted here about, oh, a year ago, but it had been taken in the early 1980s, franksolich feeding ducks. It's true I look the same now as I did then (or so other people say, and a lot of people say that), but it's an old photograph anyway. The other of them was posted in one of my the-primitives-stalking-franksolich stories, from last spring, but that one shows me away at a great distance.
And then there's a third one.
And I say this only because I fully and sadistically intend for the stalking primitives to go on a wild-goose chase. This is a photograph of franksolich, but it is not connected with franksolich, or his real name, or what primitives think his real name is.
There is actually a photograph of a nude franksolich on the internet.
Okay, go for it, primitives.
I didn't put it there, and I have mixed feelings about it. In the first place, it's a rather ordinary photograph of a rather ordinary guy laying in bed reading a book, unaware that someone is at the door with a camera.
It's a back view, and as I've often said, God when depriving franksolich of ears at least gave him a great head of hair, so while my head is there, my face isn't recognizable.
And so it's not especially embarrassing.....as long as one doesn't know it's franksolich.
As long as one doesn't know that, it's not a big deal.
The big deal happened in real life. I was staying with friends in Vermillion, South Dakota--this was four years ago--a married couple in their 30s (just to make it plain that both franksolich and the culprit are utterly heterosexual here).
One night, just before I went to sleep, I was reading in bed, facing the wall, my back to the door.
Because I can't hear, I wasn't aware that the husband came to the door, opened it, and snapped a photograph.
I was aware at the sudden flash though, and he would've gotten a totally different sort of photograph half a second later.
Okay, one is always free to take advantage of franksolich if franksolich is being stupid or careless or fallibly human, but it's unsporting to take advantage of franksolich because he's deaf.
That's a definite no-no, an utter absolute no-no.
franksolich tolerates a great many things, but that, definitely not.
It's unsporting.
It took a couple of years for our association to get back on track--franksolich if nothing else is ultimately a forgiver--and it probably would've never gotten back on track if the photograph in some way was connected with franksolich (friends around here of course recognize it, but they aren't primitives).
Okay, stalking primitives, go find it.
Good luck.
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Stinky The Clown (1000+ posts) Sat Jun-04-11 12:21 PM
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By the way, buddy, how's the dating scene been for ya?
Why would he bring his mom into this?
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And here I was thinking you wanted to keep a low profile.
I got an e-mail message--my regular e-mail, not the clarebootheluce gmail--from one of my sources deep within Skins's island about 11:00 p.m. (central time) Saturday.
Youre really stirring them up over here. Congrats.
The message is sort of cryptic, but this is the source who's always sending terse messages, despite my constant pleas that he send me at least half a paragraph.
Well, as we both know, the primitives are now useless as anthropological studies, because they know they're being observed, and thus alter their behavior, rather than acting naturally.
When I went to sleep, I asked God to grant me the wit to figure out another way of dealing with the primitives.
It was odd; it was probably the voice of TheHollywoodNeoCon, that came booming through the ceiling; "Whip them up into a frenzy; confuse them, dismay them, disorder them; make them froth and foam and sputter as if a madman in a straitjacket who can't get out."
So that's franksolich's new mission.
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xxxxxx xxx xxxxx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Sat Jun-04-11 11:54 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. ...
And fWanker, no one is stalking you, even as you act like the creepiest peeping tom imaginable. Does this peeing that you do help keep your palms hair free?
Peeping Tom my ass.
You know, I really dislike to admit it, but whatshisname isn't even in my own class, and that's saying a great deal.
"Peeping Tom."
Like a spectator standing on the sidewalk, watching a big colorful public parade of freaks and oddities marching by, franksolich is a "Peeping Tom."
Geezuz.
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"Whip them up into a frenzy; confuse them, dismay them, disorder them; make them froth and foam and sputter as if a madman in a straitjacket who can't get out."
So that's franksolich's new mission.
That has been the goal from day one. At least for me it has. Make em so crazy that they either commit suicide, stress causes a major illness or are involuntary committed. Anything to reduce their voting numbers. Think of it like the Andy incident times 100,000.
Sometimes this has an unintended consequence. Take Mrs. Dawson, who has cancer BTW. I would never wish upon her any serious harm. She poses no threat. She exists for entertainment purposes only. She just couldn't handle it all and her body started to collapse under the pressure. Miss Pritchett is another matter altogether. She's already in Kansas. What's needed is a tornado and a house.
We do what we must and keep at it. Nothing works wonders like a good night sleep.
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We do what we must and keep at it.
Yeah, that's part of the plan for the new mission.
Being utterly unpredictable (as compared with the remarkable consistency [if I say so myself] of the past), confusing them, vexing them, discombobulating them, upsetting them, disconcerting them, dizzying them, cause them to jump up-and-down getting red-white-and-blue in the face.....and ultimately going berserk, nuts.
Thank you, TheHollywoodNeoCon, for the inspiration!
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Yeah, that's part of the plan for the new mission.
Being utterly unpredictable (as compared with the remarkable consistency [if I say so myself] of the past), confusing them, vexing them, discombobulating them, upsetting them, disconcerting them, dizzying them, cause them to jump up-and-down getting red-white-and-blue in the face.....and ultimately going berserk, nuts.
Thank you, TheHollywoodNeoCon, for the inspiration!
Hey--how is HNC, anyway?
In my little enclave of (upstate) Hell, I do what I can. Subtly.
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Hey--how is HNC, anyway?
In my little enclave of (upstate) Hell, I do what I can. Subtly.
I wonder, because the voice sounded God-like, as if from another time and place, the Eternal one.
I surely hope that's just an unimportant insignificant little detail.
We all do what we can, the best we can. Hit the primitives hard, hit them harder, and keeping hitting them.
<<no longer Mr. Nice Guy.
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Cigarette girl, you sad sycophant.
It's lipstick!
And boy, the left doesn't like it when a minority strays from the fold, because I'm a woman I should be beholden to the regressive movement? and how am I a sycophant?
frank, I've come to the conclusion he's not Italian, as someone whose family is part Italian, as someone from NY surrounded by Italians, and now in NJ surrounded by Italians, Italian men aren't petty like this.
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I feel bad if he's grouchy, so maybe this will cheer him up:
[youtube=425,350]kmW3xVYQcPE[/youtube]
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frank, I've come to the conclusion he's not Italian, as someone whose family is part Italian, as someone from NY surrounded by Italians, and now in NJ surrounded by Italians, Italian men aren't petty like this.
Agreed, madam, and I just asked our newest member here, freshly arrived from democraticunderground, about the matter in one of the Pam threads, the one that's not stickied, I think.
It just blows me away. It was after all a guy of Italianate derivation from Fairlawn, New Jersey, who said when I lived there, that franksolich was "a nice guy, one of the nicest guys one can ever hope to meet."
And he didn't mean it in the sense of a sucker or pushover or an easy mark; he meant it in the sense of being receptive to all those who came my way; tolerant, indulgent, mellow, laid-back.
Usually those of Italianate derivation strike me as good judges of character, at least those from New Jersey.
I figure there's something in the water in Baltimore that makes whatshisname so nasty and mean-spirited.
Either that, or it's something his wife is surreptitiously slipping into his drinks, because remember he has a large life-insurance policy, and she'd rather hang around with the horsey Mrs. Tutweiler from down the street.
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Agreed, madam, and I just asked our newest member here, freshly arrived from democraticunderground, about the matter in one of the Pam threads, the one that's not stickied, I think.
It just blows me away. It was after all a guy of Italianate derivation from Fairlawn, New Jersey, who said when I lived there, that franksolich was "a nice guy, one of the nicest guys one can ever hope to meet."
And he didn't mean it in the sense of a sucker or pushover or an easy mark; he meant it in the sense of being receptive to all those who came my way; tolerant, indulgent, mellow, laid-back.
Usually those of Italianate derivation strike me as good judges of character, at least those from New Jersey.
I figure there's something in the water in Baltimore that makes whatshisname so nasty and mean-spirited.
Either that, or it's something his wife is surreptitiously slipping into his drinks, because remember he has a large life-insurance policy, and she'd rather hang around with the horsey Mrs. Tutweiler from down the street.
Italian men view pettiness as a trait that belongs to women.
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Italian men view pettiness as a trait that belongs to women.
You know, madam, one thing that's irking me at the moment is that whatshisname doesn't seem to understand something.
The primitives-stalking-franksolich are a parody of the paranoia of the primitives, nothing more.
Decent and civilized people grasped that at the beginning of the very first story.
But then in the penultimate one, as it didn't seem the primitives were getting illuminated that the stories are parodies of their paranoia, I flat-out said it, putting it into plain English, that they're parodies of the paranoia of the primitives.
Maybe I should've said it in Italian, too?
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Italian men view pettiness as a trait that belongs to women.
I think petty is the perfect word for Husb2Sparkly.
In fact, he's as petty, petulant, prissy, and pouty as Pedro Picasso.
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In fact, he's as petty, petulant, prissy, and pouty as Pedro Picasso.
It's only my opinion, which might, or might not, be accurate, but actually I think Pedro Picasso takes the cake in that department.
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The other primatives certainly stayed away from the original post.
Five whole comments, and three of them are by 14X his own little self. :loser: :lmao:
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The other primatives certainly stayed away from the original post.
Five whole comments, and three of them are by 14X his own little self. :loser: :lmao:
I just got an e-mail--my regular account, not the clarebootheluce account--less than ten minutes ago.
I'd been wondering why whatshisname has been so quiet today.
It appears my fellow alum Skins told him to cut it out, to pay attention to all the other primitives, rather than to us.
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14X can't help it, Frank.
He loves you, man. :lmao:
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franksolich advised: It appears my fellow alum Skins told him to cut it out, to pay attention to all the other primitives, rather than to us.
Man, that's gotta burn his buns like a blowtorch.
I wonder if all of the posters and reply-ers slipped his screen name [stinky the clown] in the body of all posts and replies, no matter what the subject, he'll smack his keyboard with ahammer out of frustrated rage at not being able to respond.
At DU, that is. He's always welcome to sign up over here and argue the benefits of Tidy Cat vs. pine sawdust.
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Stinky The Clown (1000+ posts) Sat Jun-04-11 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. If it was about anthropology . . . . .
. . . . fWanker, and the Margaret Meade thing were meaningful to your (:snort: ) work, you'd be more concerned with keeping your self-absorbed showboating yap shut.
Look, fWanker, I know this is all ya got to even approach having a life, but being a peeping tom is pretty ignoble, even for a person like you.
Gipper, can it, you silly ass kisser.
Cigarette girl, you sad sycophant.
So he's accusing frank of not having a life while doing the exact same thing he's accusing frank of. They may not have a clue about irony but they sure are the perfect example of it. And stinky, frank has lots of sycophants, that's what happens to real men who don't spend their days bitching like a little *****. Man up. You just might end up being just as lucky...well that and you'd have to remember who's supposed to wear the pants in the family. Why DU women go for girly-men I'll never know. I've said it before but it's still true...if I wanted a ***** I'd be a lesbian.
Cindie
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franksolich advised: It appears my fellow alum Skins told him to cut it out, to pay attention to all the other primitives, rather than to us.
Man, that's gotta burn his buns like a blowtorch.
One surely hopes so.
Whatshisname is one of those sorts of people who need slapping-down constantly, lest he forget his place, which is a rather low and base one.
At DU, that is. He's always welcome to sign up over here and argue the benefits of Tidy Cat vs. pine sawdust.
Whatshisname's alleged himself to be a registered member here, and thus far there doesn't seem anything to contradict that.
But it's cool, it's copacetic, because thus far he doesn't seem to have broken any rules.
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I'm sure the administration here could narrow it down by taking a peek at the IP numbers and compiling a list of potential candidates. - even so - no rules broken = no reason to break out the banhammer.
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I'm sure the administration here could narrow it down by taking a peek at the IP numbers and compiling a list of potential candidates. - even so - no rules broken = no reason to break out the banhammer.
Oh, but actually it's easier than that, and I can do it too.
But there's no reason to bother.
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So he's accusing frank of not having a life while doing the exact same thing he's accusing frank of.
I suspect I have more of a life than whatshisname does--and I'll bet my time spent here is considerably less than the time whatshisname spends on Skins's island.
They may not have a clue about irony but they sure are the perfect example of it.
Uh huh.
And perhaps whatshisname would do good to check the dictionary for the definition of "parody."
And stinky, frank has lots of sycophants.....
Uh, I wouldn't go that far, madam. I get yelled at a lot.
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One surely hopes so.
Whatshisname is one of those sorts of people who need slapping-down constantly, lest he forget his place, which is a rather low and base one.
Whatshisname's alleged himself to be a registered member here, and thus far there doesn't seem anything to contradict that.
But it's cool, it's copacetic, because thus far he doesn't seem to have broken any rules.
I'm imagining It reading that post and just grinding It's teeth in anger.
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I'm imagining It reading that post and just grinding It's teeth in anger.
Well, I wish my fellow alum would've waited at least another day, before calling whatshisname on the carpet.
I have a script here, I have it all planned out, all laid out, and the silencing of whatshisname interrupts the script.
I'm sure however the script will be resumed sometime in the future, but I'd just as soon it be now.
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Why DU women go for girly-men I'll never know. I've said it before but it's still true...if I wanted a ***** I'd be a lesbian.
I have to go, for most of the rest of today, but I surely hope that by the time I get back, whatshisname and franksolich are on speaking terms again, because I must complete the script.
Vaguely speaking, it's a lesson for the primitives.
It's about how decent and civilized people take a Great Misfortune and turn it into Good Fortune.
Primitives of course just take a Great Misfortune, and that's that.
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Well, it was stupid of him "talking" like that to us, on the DU board. It's inappropriate use of their bandwidth, their real estate. It looks drunk, it what it looks like.
fWanker....that's grownup.
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I have a script here, I have it all planned out, all laid out, and the silencing of whatshisname interrupts the script.
I'm sure however the script will be resumed sometime in the future, but I'd just as soon it be now.
Coach, if you know the script, read the script, and understand the script, anyone can do this.
Buy milk that was canned in 2009, then wrap your head in aluminum foil before drinking it.
And yes, I know, the empire is collapsing.
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Oh my.
Just chasing the nameless one a minute ago.
Check that ad, just to the right. :rotf:
Soooo, appropriate.
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Wanker....that's grownup.
Yeah, that's generally the best whatshisname can do, "fwank."
It's his only response to anything he dislikes, calling one a silly name.
Revolution here was once called a really disgusting name by a hyperliberal woman--one of these caring, compassionate superliberals--in response to a polite comment he had made to her on facebook; that was so low and mean, that I hope that woman and franksolich never meet, causing franksolich to not be a nice guy.
It was loathesome, disgusting. It was really bad.
I would even call it Evil, in the supernatural sense, it transcending any semblence of humanity.
I was ****ing pissed.
But that's what superliberals do, when dealing with the "handicapped," and my whole life has been testament to it. They never respond with wit or reasoning or an interesting story or reason; they respond only by calling us names, as if we aren't worth their intellectual effort, and should stay in our place.
No decent and civilized person--Republican, conservative, southern redneck, "fundie," little old lady, "racist" truck-driver, big capitalist, NASCAR fan, and whatever else sort of person the primitives don't like--has ever in my life (if it had happened, I would've remembered it) treated franksolich as less than a full person.
Superliberals, on the other hand, that's another story.
They perhaps might think, "Oh, but the worse we do is be condescending," but that's actually the best they do; the most-often they do is name-call.
I was really ****ing pissed when I saw Revolution name-called like that.
Of course, what it is, is that ancient as-old-as-mankind shivering fear of people different from oneself.
My father, on my 13th birthday wrote me a letter (which he did every year; I still have all of them), illuminated me that only insecure people would dislike me; that people confident in their self-esteem and self-being would like me, or at worst, be indifferent to me, but they wouldn't dislike me. Only insecure people would dislike me, fear me.
Well, that was a very long time ago, and it's held true.
In fact, I now use it as my guide to measure people; if someone doesn't like franksolich (or Revolution), then he has a big problem.
And so by his simple-minded name-calling, rather than a witty response or a counter-argument or something requiring intellectual effort to reply, whatshisname is revealing a bottomless pit of self-loathing.
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Coach, if you know the script, read the script, and understand the script, anyone can do this.
Okay, I just got done consulting with my spirit guide, TheHollywoodNeoCon, who was attending a soiree in Beverly Hills, chomping on a big cigar in his mouth, and a martini in hand.
"Well, yes, it's too bad," TheHollywoodNeoCon said, "your fellow alum Skins messing with the script by calling whatshisface on the carpet--now the script's interrupted, and once it resumes, it'll take a lot of back-tracking, retelling, to get it flowing again.
"But the script's in your head, and it's a good script, and it needs to come out, and so proceed with the script as if Skins hadn't mouth-clamped whatshisface. Show the primitives how decent and civilized people take Bad Luck and turn it into Good Luck, while the primitives only take Bad Luck, period.
"The script needs to come out, because a new one's emerging, and there needs to be room in your head for that one."
After which my spirit guide, getting bored with franksolich, turned his attentions to some Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer chick.
So the script's coming; it's 100 degrees out here in the Sandhills, and I'm just a tad bit sluggish.
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Okay, now the whole story, which was fully and maliciously intended to titillate whatshisname and all the other primitives. Prior to this, I had just told the front part of the story, so as to elicit a reaction from Skins's island.....but since a reaction's no longer possible, my fellow alum Skins having clamped down, I might as well proceed with the rest of the story.
Upthread somewhere here is about how with staying with friends in South Dakota, a certain photograph was snapped, and circulated on the internet, showing franksolich in all his glory.
Yes, there is a photograph of a nude franksolich freely available, and I'm sure that at this moment the primitives are scurrying around internet porn sites, looking for it.
If a primitive finds it, he is utterly free to post it--although I'm saying this with the foreknowledge that a primitive has a snowball's chance in Hell of finding the photograph and connecting it with franksolich.
delilahmused is the only person on the internet who could possibly connect the two, as after it happened, I was so bent-out-of-shape I took my sorrows to the chat-room of Scamdy (this was in early 2007, about the time Scamdy was wrapping up itself). delilahmused has seen the picture, and knows it is of franksolich.
Scamdy no longer exists, but delilahmused, as with franksolich and all other members of Scamdy, left and right, is still felt bound by the omerta of Scamdy; there are just some things we don't tell other people.
The bad luck part of it is that I had been snapped, laying in bed, reading a book, and that the person who took the photograph, who was drunk at the time, some days later posted it on the internet, when he was drunk again. It was his wife, distressed, who alerted me to that the photograph was out there.
Upon seeing it, I summoned the neighbor, a farmer in his 30s, happily married and with four children, like franksolich straight.
"Well, at least it's only soft porn," he said.
"I have no desire, no desire at all, to be an internet porn star," I said.
He examined it closer. "Off-center, bad lighting, but you've got a really good ass."
After I calmed down, he pointed out there was no way anyone could possibly connect the photograph with franksolich, or my real name, or what primitives imagine my real name is.
"But what about people who know me here, in real life, what if they come across the picture?"
He agreed that, alas, the hair betrayed it was franksolich--it's rather good hair, although the only thing I do is use soap-and-water with it--but then asked, "Who do you know in real life, would be running around internet porn sites? I think you're safe."
Right.
Over time, bad feelings between the photographer and franksolich were eased, and I worried about it less and less.
Over the same time, something else dawned on me.
Primitives are probably enthusiastic cruisers of porn sites on the internet, and undoubtedly the past four years, hundreds, if not thousands, of primitives have seen this photograph--but to them, they have no idea who he is.
franksolich is a nice guy, one of the nicest guys one can ever hope to meet, but franksolich is also human, and gets a certain malicious glee out of the fact that there are probably three or five or six or more gay primitives who now have that picture in their private collections and take it out once in a while to longingly gaze at it, utterly and wholly unaware they are admiring, and yearning for, franksolich's ass.
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I'm beginning to think the smelly buffoon is Mr. Franksolich's personal nymphomanic.
Seems Mr. Franksolich gets in the buffoons shorts at no expense whatsoever.
On a regular basis.
If Mr. Franksolich was a smoker, he'd be a two pack a day sort of guy.
I'd also be willing to wager that when the smelly buffoon cracks a fart, it doesn't make a sound.
I certainly hope Mr. Franksolich is double bagging during these brief encounters.
Before I forget, BG gets a H5 just for an honorable mention in the smelly-ones tantrum.
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If Mr. Franksolich was a smoker, he'd be a two pack a day sort of guy.
Before I forget, BG gets a H5 just for an honorable mention in the smelly-ones tantrum.
Unfortunately I am, and it's costing me a fortune.
And did you also notice, sir, that whatshisname treats our aesthetic and high-esteemed colleague Ballygirl with more wit and intellectual effort, than he treats franksolich?
I think it's because whatshisname has a sweaty morbid fear of deaf people.
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I think it's because whatshisname has a sweaty morbid fear of deaf people.
Nah, he's just scared of girls. :whatever:
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Nah, he's just scared of girls. :whatever:
Well, and if it's not fear, it's prejudice.
We're really good on picking things like this up.
Whathisname puts some wit and effort into his denigrations of other members here, but franksolich, he only name-calls.
That tells me whatshisname is prejudiced against deaf people.
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By the way, folks, lurking primitives are eating up this thread like, again, marijuana-laced brownies.
So if anyone has anything to say to the primitives, on any issue, this thread's a good place to say it.
It must be a bitch, though, the primitives unable to respond.
Too bad.
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Proud2BlibKansas is a bitch.
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Oh, cool.
Hi, Nads!
Hi, Stevenumbers.
Hi, sparkling hubby.
So many primatives, so little time. :banghead:
P2BK is a DOG??
Probably a cross-breed mongrel.
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Before I forget, BG gets a H5 just for an honorable mention in the smelly-ones tantrum.
I think he has a crush on me.
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Nah, he's got the hots for the cigarette girl. When the demand for blank speech bubbles wanes, I'm sure he draws suggestive cartoons of her on the backs of excess copies of important junk mail produced by the Mission Control Junk Mail Company. Given Rob's severely limited artistic ability, they probably look more like caricatures of Olive Oyl.
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I think he has a crush on me.
You poor thing.
Is there anything we can do to help?
Lysol?
Betadine?
Antibiotics?
Flea collar?
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I think he has a crush on me.
Tell him it's not a cigarette, it's a middle finger.
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It's late, it's hot, and I'm tired.
But before going to sleep, I decided to consult my spirit guide TheHollywoodNeoCon, to get his take on the script. I found him in Dore Schary's office in Los Angeles, a cigar in his mouth and a martini with three olives in his hand.
"Actually, kid," my spirit guide said, "you've got a long ways to go yet with developing a script, but you've got some talent there.
"You're getting the primitives all vexed and fit to be tied because they really want to see one of their worst enemies naked, even if only a rear shot.
"There probably isn't a gay primitive anymore, who can look at dirty pictures with as much pleasure as he used to, given that they're now aware it might be franksolich they're getting all excited over."
Then, bored with me, TheHollywoodNeoCon, my spirit guide, turned and resumed talking to Dore Schary again.
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It's late, it's hot, and I'm tired.
It's hot here in red state hell as well, but only if you're outside.
It's chilly in the house. I may go out and buy a Snuggy tomorrow.
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delilahmused is the only person on the internet who could possibly connect the two, as after it happened, I was so bent-out-of-shape I took my sorrows to the chat-room of Scamdy (this was in early 2007, about the time Scamdy was wrapping up itself). delilahmused has seen the picture, and knows it is of franksolich.
Hence the Internet torch I've been carrying for years now! And you really do have a nice ass! I didn't save the picture, though. My hubby and I share a computer and I didn't want to explain why I have a picture of a naked man from Nebraska on my computer!
Cindie
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Wow.
I got an e-mail--my real-life e-mail account, not the clarebootheluce gmail--from one of my deep sources on Skins's island--over the night. This isn't the taciturn one, this is the chatty one, and since it was chockful of gossip about the primitives, I can't post it here. However, I was told "great!!! job!!!" (exact quote) in developing this script.
It must pain the primitives much, to not be able to respond.
Anyway, before that, I was visited by my spirit guide TheHollywoodNeoCon, during the night.
"You know, kid," he boomed from above, "while I was playing golf with David Selznick this afternoon, it suddenly struck me there's a little something wrong with your script, and it's something you better hurry up and adjust.
"You might be impugning the reputations of two highly-respected members of the DUmpster; you don't mean to, and she doesn't take it that way, but to the casual reader, you might, uh, be giving a wrong impression.
"Now, most people who were around when Scamdy was around, can understand why you sent that, uh, controversial photograph to members of Scamdy; after all, you were a tight-knit group of people who got to know each other in real life as on the internet, and so that was a wonderful example of your trust.
"You were upset, you were distraught, you were pissed off.
"And Scamdy was the best place for you to go, to blow off steam.
"We all know this, but the casual reader might not be aware of the 'back-story' here.
"And so the casual reader, you might be giving the impression delilah likes to look at dirty pictures."
"Oh no," I gasped in horror.
"delilah is," I continued, "a woman of Class and Quality and Elegance and Style and Manners and Grace; delilah isn't the type who likes to look at dirty pictures.
"delilah reminds me very much of Lady Patricia Brabourne, who's now--"
"I know who Lady Mountbatten used to be," TheHollywoodNeoCon interrupted; "and I know that Lady Mountbatten is the sans peer in the department of principle and integrity; without peer in her good manners, good taste, and good style.
"But you'd better make it clear to your readers," my spirit guide continued, "that delilah is above looking at dirty pictures, that it's not really her thing to do.
"And besides, delilah's a happily married woman with sons; she's seen it all, and so nothing about the male body is a surprise or a shock to her. She's able to look at it objectively, scientifically, and clinically.
"But you'd better make it clear delilah is not anyone who gets kicks out of looking at dirty pictures."
"Done," I said.
TheHollywoodNeoCon continued; "The other person is, of course your own reputation. You've always been a good Catholic boy, an enthusiastic subscriber to the Doctrines of Rome."
"Right," I said; "I'm not perfect, but I do try."
"You know, of course," he pointed out, "that amendment of character is best done with love and compassion and understanding, and it's a virtue to try to convert others to the light, the freedom, the illumination, that comes with being a decent and civilized person.
"But you're not treating the primitives with love and compassion and understanding; in fact, you're rather harsh with them."
I defended myself; "franksolich has already been the love route, the compassion route, the understanding route, with the primitives of Skins's island, and it hasn't worked.
"As Lord Baring once said, the primitives need to feel the lash of the whip. Lashing a few of them will change them into decent and civilized people; lashing a few more of them will change them into halfway decent and civilized people, but most primitives need to be lashed simply because they're primitives.
"It makes things better for humanity."
TheHollywoodNeoCon mulled that over.
"Okay," he finally said; "you are whipping the primitives out of love, because loving the primitives hasn't worked. Got that.
"Can you promise that your motives are pure, that you are heckling the primitives, driving them nuts, stirring them into a frenzy, simply out of love and compassion for them?"
"Yes," I lied.
"Okay," said my spirit guide, "carry on with the script, kid."
Then TheHollywoodNeoCon tapped me on the shoulder; "But don't forget one of the principle rules of Scamdy; you need an unbiased independent authentication by an independent unbiased third party, to affirm to others that all you have alleged (about the identity and nature) of this particular photrograph, is true; that all you have said about it, is real.
"But you need that unbiased independent third party to be someone you utterly trust, someone who's going to keep it private, someone who's not going to post the photograph on a public forum, or share it with others via e-mail or personal message.
"Quite obviously that person is the heart of your heart, delilah."
"Right," I said; "delilah isn't going to do something that connects this photograph with franksolich, or my real name, or what the primitives assume is my real name.
"She's not going to post it, she's not going to share it with others.
"delilah's job is simply to inspect the photograph and describe, in the DUmpster, in her own words, the features and qualities of it.
"And after describing the photograph--in her own words--delilah's job is to answer to us here in the DUmpster, the main question: 'is franksolich someone a primitive would hit on?'.
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Hence the Internet torch I've been carrying for years now! And you really do have a nice ass! I didn't save the picture, though. My hubby and I share a computer and I didn't want to explain why I have a picture of a naked man from Nebraska on my computer!
I was wondering about that, madam; I didn't think you'd save it, because you're not that sort of person.
And I have no intention, no intention at all, of interfering with your fulsome relations with your good husband.
The picture on a disc I have somewhere. If you would kindly send me an e-mail address to which you, and only you, have access--send that via personal message, don't post it--I will promptly send you the photograph, which you are to view as in a clinical and detached manner, and then post here, publicly, in your own words, your opinion of it and testify to its authenticity as being franksolich; you may feel free, utterly free, to describe it as you see it, in your own words.
But don't forget to answer the most important question here: "is franksolich someone a primitive would hit on?"
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But don't forget to answer the most important question here: "is franksolich someone a primitive would hit on?"
The picture aside, they would love you for your mind. Remember that liberal women are the masculine half of the couple. They like their men in silk panties. I don't envision you in that scenario. Conservative men are just that, men.
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The picture aside, they would love you for your mind. Remember that liberal women are the masculine half of the couple. They like their men in silk panties. I don't envision you in that scenario. Conservative men are just that, men.
But, sir, the primitives loathe and detest open minds, illuminating minds; people who think are the primitives' worst enemies.
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They like their men in silk panties.
Uh, no silk panties--or anything else--on franksolich in this photograph.
But at least it's only a back-shot, and as the neighbor said, "soft porn."
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Uh, no silk panties--or anything else--on franksolich in this photograph.
But at least it's only a back-shot, and as the neighbor said, "soft porn."
The primitive men wear silk. They are completely PW'd. The women wear jock straps and boxer shorts.
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...But don't forget to answer the most important question here: "is franksolich someone a primitive would hit on?"
Well, there is stevenumbers. :whatever:
:rotf:
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The primitive men wear silk. They are completely PW'd. The women wear jock straps and boxer shorts.
And again, a reminder about the circumstances surrounding this photograph.
franksolich was laying in bed, reading a book, at peace with the world and the whole of mankind.
franksolich, being deaf, was not aware someone had come into the room; it was not until the flash of light startled me, and as mentioned before, if he'd taken it half a second later, he would've gotten an entirely different picture, including a front view.
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Well, there is stevenumbers.
That reminds me, sir.
The most important question here needs articulated better.
It is:
"Is franksolich someone a primitive, straight or gay, male or female, would hit on?"
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And again, a reminder about the circumstances surrounding this photograph.
franksolich was laying in bed, reading a book, at peace with the world and the whole of mankind.
franksolich, being deaf, was not aware someone had come into the room; it was not until the flash of light startled me, and as mentioned before, if he'd taken it half a second later, he would've gotten an entirely different picture, including a front view.
As I have no desire to view pictures of naked men, I'm glad that the pic in question didn't go viral.
None of this is intended as an insult toward you.
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As I have no desire to view pictures of naked men, I'm glad that the pic in question didn't go viral.
None of this is intended as an insult toward you.
Of course not sir.
By the way, I need to explain the mechanics of how photographs were viewed in the Scamdy chat-room.
This was 2005-2007, back when computer programs were cruder than they are now.
A member of Scamdy from the other side of the political aisle scouted around for various versions, the main, and really only, criteria being "security."
Screw any ideas of aesthetics or ease of use; "security" was the priority, the only thing.
After all, while members of Scamdy were playing by the rules, respecting boundaries, the primitives weren't. We restricted our activities purely to the internet; the primitives didn't.
What was deemed safest, most secure from penetration, was an older program--from, I dunno, maybe the mid- or late-1990s--in which the chat-room appeared on one's computer as a 4" x 4" screen, a little square in the center of one's computer monitor.
It was as if one were with a small group of people, huddling tight together in a secure bunker, while thousands of primitives, blood-thirsty and blood-curdling, danced around in fury and hate outside, trying to get in.
Photographs in this chat-room were a problem. But we didn't care; at least everything was secure.
The problem with photographs was that the software wouldn't "re-size" them to fit the 4" x 4" screen of the chat-room.
Actually, it did "re-size" the photographs.....taking an image perhaps 2" x 2" square and making it into something two acres x two acres.
There were probably even then ways of solving this problem--I dunno--but we didn't bother, because ease of display was not a concern. The main, only, and single concern was security.
Anyway, viewing photographs (we got a lot of them--for lurking primitives, these were publicly-posted photographs, usually by the subject him- or herself--from one of the members of Scamdy from the other side of the aisle) involved using the right and bottom scroll-bars for miles and miles and miles.
I dislike thinking about the number of times I looked up into the Leona Helmsley of DUmmieland the "flyarm" primitive's left nostril, or inside my fellow alum Skins' right ear or the individual sweat-pores on Fat Che's fat arm.
It was a hassle, but we didn't care; all we cared about was security, because the primitives were running amok in rage and hate off the internet as well as on the internet.
The party that played by the rules of good sportsmanship won. Enough said.
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I was wondering about that, madam; I didn't think you'd save it, because you're not that sort of person.
And I have no intention, no intention at all, of interfering with your fulsome relations with your good husband.
The picture on a disc I have somewhere. If you would kindly send me an e-mail address to which you, and only you, have access--send that via personal message, don't post it--I will promptly send you the photograph, which you are to view as in a clinical and detached manner, and then post here, publicly, in your own words, your opinion of it and testify to its authenticity as being franksolich; you may feel free, utterly free, to describe it as you see it, in your own words.
But don't forget to answer the most important question here: "is franksolich someone a primitive would hit on?"
Oh heavens, frank, you're the kind of guy any girl (and if we're talking about the DUmp guess we have to include men in the mix, too) would hit on! Broad shoulders, cute butt, sharp wit, and a killer sense of humor. And remember, the DUmmies have benefited greatly from your witty repartee.
You've made them famous, made them popular with their fellow DUmmies, given them street cred. Some of them visit here daily to see if you've uttered their name. And they drop little hints to let you know they've read what you've written. Now Stinky boldly makes up silly names, like a first grader on a playground. Next thing you'll know he'll be playing that "I'm rubber, you're glue" game children play. Others are more subtle, peppering their posts with a unique phrase you've written to let you know they're hanging on every word. Of course they're attention whores but it goes deeper than that, I think. But I'm no psychologist or anthropologist so I couldn't possibly analyze why it's so important to them But it is. Who knows the levels of depression they'd sink to if you suddenly stopped mentioning them. And poor Beth! You're practically all she has!
Cindie
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And poor Beth! You're practically all she has!
Okay, madam, that makes the question you must answer after inspecting the photograph more complicated.
"Is franksolich someone [the name of a specific primitive] would hit on?"
I must stress I don't want a primitive, straight or gay, to make any moves on me; the question being would a primitive?, which in no way implies my desire that any primitive do so.
It still cracks me up, after four years, that surely thousands of primitives, when cruising porn sites on the internet, have encountered this photograph with not the slightest idea they've stopped to admire franksolich's ass.
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Okay, madam, that makes the question you must answer after inspecting the photograph more complicated.
"Is franksolich someone [the name of a specific primitive] would hit on?"
I must stress I don't want a primitive, straight or gay, to make any moves on me; the question being would a primitive?, which in no way implies my desire that any primitive do so.
It still cracks me up, after four years, that surely thousands of primitives, when cruising porn sites on the internet, have encountered this photograph with not the slightest idea they've stopped to admire franksolich's ass.
Well of course, frank. [The name of a specific primitive] isn't worthy but if the two of you were sitting next to each other on a bar stool, I'd be careful of the attention you paid to [the name of a specific primitive]. Next thing you know, there'd be a hand on your thigh. DUmmies aren't known for their subtlety. Or class.
Cindie
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By the way frank, what's your fallback script on this? Of course the DUmmies can't handle too many script changes. Still, I know how you labor to get things just right.
Cindie
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By the way frank, what's your fallback script on this? Of course the DUmmies can't handle too many script changes. Still, I know how you labor to get things just right.
I got company coming this morning; there's going to be a temporary delay, madam.
But I did ask all my sources (four, deep inside) on Skins's island to look around to see if there's been lessened traffic there the past few days, because the primitives are elsewhere scouring the internet for that photograph of franksolich.
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http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,59914.0.html
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Okay now, given that I've recovered from the events as described in the link just above, time to talk about the meeting with my spirit guide TheHollywoodNeoCon. I had found him last night, cigar in mouth and two olives and a slice of lemon in his martini, playing bridge with Betty Hutton and Connie Francis.
"You know, kid," he said, looking up from his hand, "I've been nice to you, not wanting to hurt your feelings, but now it's time for the honest truth--your script's too long, way too long.
"If you'd written Lawrence of Arabia, it'd run for six days, no intermissions.
"Anyway; but the script's a good script.
"Thus far, you've alleged there's an exposive photograph of franksolich on the internet--you didn't put it there, you didn't want it there--on which the primitives would like to get their hands, even though probably many primitives have seen it, without knowing it was of their worst enemy, their implacable foe, their indefatigable adversary, their undaunted opponent, their hated Satan.
"And delilah, who saw the dirty picture four years ago, when Scamdy was winding down, has already seen it, and knows it's of you.
"You might be developing a problem here, kid, but I'm sure you'll keep a rein on it.
"There's too many people who know that's a picture of franksolich: you, the guy who took it, the guy's wife, your neighbor, and there were still six members of Scamdy around when you put there, delilah being the only one with whom you're still in constant contact--no telling what the other five might do, but given the omerta of Scamdy, you're probably safe there.
"You don't care about the picture; you care only that your name isn't connected with it."
TheHollywoodNeoCon laid his cards, winked at Betty, and continued.
"But you're going to have to take one more risk, a serious risk, because you're going to have to show it to someone who isn't bound by the omerta of Scamdy.
"You see, you need additional verification that franksolich is someone a primitive would hit on.
"In choosing such a person, this time, you'd better make it plain and clear and loud from the start that the person isn't anyone who gets any jollies out of looking at dirty pictures the way primitives do."
"Right," I said; "I didn't mean to give that impression of delilah, and so it's done."
TheHollywoodNeoCon played another hand, kissed Connie, and continued.
"It's got to be a woman, middle-aged preferably, for whom the male body presents no surprises, pleasant or unpleasant. She's not going to see anything she hasn't seen before, and so she's going to be able to look at it in a cool, professional, detached, scientific, clinical manner, so as to answer the question.
"'Would a primitive hit on franksolich?'"
"Aha," I said; "I know the perfect person.
"Schadenfreude."
TheHollywoodNeoCon sipped his martini, motioning to a waiter that it needed refreshed.
"Good choice," my spirit guide said, "but problems. No one doubts Schadenfreude is a woman of high quality and good character, someone of impeccable integrity and outstanding perception. And you've known each other for years and years.
"The first problem is that Schadenfreude isn't around much these days.
"The second problem is that Schadenfreude doesn't hang around the DUmpster, and so she might not be intimately acquainted with the primitives."
"Wait," I interrupted; "she's somewhat familiar with the primitives--not a whole lot, but somewhat--and besides, she lives in Minnesota, which is permeated with primitives, and so she understands what turns on primitives.
"So I think Schadenfreude's expert enough to answer the question, "would a primitive hit on franksolich?"
"Go for it, kid," TheHollywoodNeoCon said, and then getting bored with me, turned to resume playing and whisper gossip to Betty and Connie, and Lauren Bacall, who had just shown up.