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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« on: July 09, 2016, 12:06:39 AM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3172625

Quote
My boss is an American Indian. Last night, he was walking home and happened, for some unknown reason, to zigzag while walking on the sidewalk to his apartment, and a cop jumped out of the bushes and stopped him from entering, then proceeded to browbeat him for twenty minutes for no ****ing reason....I guess his pretense was that his irregular walking pattern made the cop think he might be a drunken burglar.

The weirdest thing about this story is that my boss, a couple years ago, was running down the street to return a video to Blockbuster on time (and he's an athletic guy, too, who enjoys running.)

A cop stopped him and questioned him for over an hour and was prepared to arrest him on suspicion of burglary...or for just having dark skin.

The kicker? It was the same cop, both times.

I am not making this shit up.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2016, 12:18:35 AM »
Two bongs.  It is stupid and predictable, so all bongs awarded are for the cop & bushes bit.

 :stoner:  :stoner: 
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Offline Maverick1987

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2016, 12:43:46 AM »
Quote
I am not making this shit up.

Yes, you are.
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Offline RobJohnson

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2016, 01:40:53 AM »
Too funny!
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Offline 98ZJUSMC

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2016, 03:33:23 AM »
Quote
My boss is an American Indian. Last night, he was walking home and happened, for some unknown reason, to zigzag while walking on the sidewalk to his apartment, and a cop jumped out of the bushes and stopped him from entering, then proceeded to browbeat him for twenty minutes for no ****ing reason....I guess his pretense was that his irregular walking pattern made the cop think he might be a drunken burglar.

The weirdest thing about this story is that my boss, a couple years ago, was running down the street to return a video to Blockbuster on time (and he's an athletic guy, too, who enjoys running.)

A cop stopped him and questioned him for over an hour and was prepared to arrest him on suspicion of burglary...or for just having dark skin.

The kicker? It was the same cop, both times.

We've been waiting for this, perhaps the Holy Grail of bouncies, forever and you produce this nonsense?   

 :hammer: :hammer: :hammer:

Quote
I am not making this shit up.

Oh, I'm certain this happened.   ::) :thatsright:  Under a pretty chartreuse sky, right? 
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Offline SVPete

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2016, 05:51:12 AM »
Dude needs to buy a better grade of :stoner: . That was so pathetic I forewent punctuating my previous sentence with even one "!".
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2016, 06:07:30 AM »
A classic!! Thanks Ralph!

RandomKoolzip was a short order cook from Chicago who fell off the island years ago. Guy was as dumb as a bag of hammers. There have been plenty of other stupid people to come along to take his place.

.
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2016, 07:33:43 AM »
Quote
My boss is an American Indian. Last night, he was walking home and happened, for some unknown reason, to zigzag while walking on the sidewalk to his apartment, and a cop jumped out of the bushes and stopped him from entering, then proceeded to browbeat him for twenty minutes for no ****ing reason....I guess his pretense was that his irregular walking pattern made the cop think he might be a drunken burglar.

The weirdest thing about this story is that my boss, a couple years ago, was running down the street to return a video to Blockbuster on time (and he's an athletic guy, too, who enjoys running.)

A cop stopped him and questioned him for over an hour and was prepared to arrest him on suspicion of burglary...or for just having dark skin.

The kicker? It was the same cop, both times.

I am not making this shit up.

Blonde hair and Blue eyes with high cheek bones?  :rotf:
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2016, 08:40:45 AM »
Quote from: 67 Rover on July 09, 2016, 07:33:43 AM
Blonde hair and Blue eyes with high cheek bones?  :rotf:

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Offline DLR Pyro

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2016, 11:59:01 AM »
Quote
My boss is an American Indian. Last night, he was walking home and happened, for some unknown reason, to zigzag while walking on the sidewalk to his apartment
DUmmy needs to tell Chief Bossman to stay away from the firewater else he get in heap big trouble on his way back to wigwam.
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Offline Patriot Guard Rider

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2016, 12:13:46 PM »
Quote from: DLR Pyro on July 09, 2016, 11:59:01 AM
DUmmy needs to tell Chief Bossman to stay away from the firewater else he get in heap big trouble on his way back to wigwam.

The squaw known as High Cheeks will probably demand a DNA test to prove the boss is American Indian. On second thought, maybe he's 1/128th American Indian and is using that minority status to advance his/her career.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2016, 12:40:54 PM »

     ^5 Ralph. The younguns need to see the oldies but goodies. I have a mind to bring back some of that old 2006-era TominTib goodness.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2016, 02:11:18 PM »
The follow-up post was even better.  :rofl:

Quote
RandomKoolzip
Donating Member (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 02:36 PM
 Response to Original message

16. This is for the assholes at CU:

 
Yes, honestly, there was cop hiding in the bushes outside my boss's apartment. Cops do this shit. Just cuz you're white and have never experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Yes, I've read my share of somewhat bizarre "encounter with a freeper" stories that I don't always believe, but this actually happened.

Yes, this actually happened.

Do I need to say it again?

Yes, I am a liberal, so everything that I say is in doubt, unlike your leaders who never lie, exaggerate, or just make shit up.

But this story is true.



Yes, you are all dickless ****wads with far too much time on your hands and, in all likelihood, excessive body odor. And you probably have "backne," too.

Yes, you must go **** yourselves now.

PS:
And.
Your.
Ideology.
Is.
Shit.
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Offline miskie

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #13 on: July 09, 2016, 02:30:07 PM »
I love classic bouncies !  :rofl:

I Need to dig up some from the queen herself, Bouncy Ball one day..
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2016, 04:16:43 PM »
Quote from: miskie on July 09, 2016, 02:30:07 PM
I love classic bouncies !  :rofl:

I Need to dig up some from the queen herself, Bouncy Ball one day..
RandomKoolZip's was from 2005 or so.

And I created a Bouncy Ball's Greatest Hits, which you can find in the archives.
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Offline CollectivismMustDie

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #15 on: July 09, 2016, 06:58:14 PM »
Quote
My boss is an American Indian. Last night, he was walking home and happened, for some unknown reason, to zigzag while walking on the sidewalk to his apartment, and a cop jumped out of the bushes and stopped him from entering, then proceeded to browbeat him for twenty minutes for no ****ing reason....I guess his pretense was that his irregular walking pattern made the cop think he might be a drunken burglar.

The weirdest thing about this story is that my boss, a couple years ago, was running down the street to return a video to Blockbuster on time (and he's an athletic guy, too, who enjoys running.)

A cop stopped him and questioned him for over an hour and was prepared to arrest him on suspicion of burglary...or for just having dark skin.

The kicker? It was the same cop, both times.

I am not making this shit up.

Your boss...is his name Elizabeth?

That would explain a lot.



CMD
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Offline Karin

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #16 on: July 09, 2016, 09:23:31 PM »
You know, the archives are just a great resource for comedy gold. Never forget they're there!
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #17 on: July 09, 2016, 11:29:45 PM »
American Indian?
That would be feather, not dot?
Or casino not quicktrip?
The reason I ask is because big Libs like Hitlery and Joe Biden can make the distinction and not only get away with it, but they earn another resume enhancer.
Whatever happened to Native American?
I'm one of them.
A lot of anchor babies are too.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #18 on: July 10, 2016, 09:54:40 AM »
Quote from: obumazombie on July 09, 2016, 11:29:45 PM
American Indian?
That would be feather, not dot?
Or casino not quicktrip?


I haven't heard that one before.  H5.
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Offline Enki

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #19 on: July 10, 2016, 11:25:20 AM »
I only hope he had rewound the video before taking it back.
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Offline Patriot Guard Rider

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #20 on: July 10, 2016, 12:12:23 PM »
Quote from: Enki on July 10, 2016, 11:25:20 AM
I only hope he had rewound the video before taking it back.

Send him this. It has complete instructions on how to properly rewind a DVD
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Liberals disgust me. (Now I don't have to remember to put it on each post).

Because only the left goes searching for that which is not there in a desperate attempt to be offended about something.

"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen." - Samuel Adams

Many people do not see evil until the gas is flowing into the chamber. That is why they get on the trains in the first place.

Offline Sassyspop

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #21 on: July 10, 2016, 12:24:09 PM »
A vid to Block Buster???? Hmmm

Never mind didn't realize how old the post was
« Last Edit: July 10, 2016, 12:28:07 PM by Sassyspop »
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Offline SVPete

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #22 on: July 10, 2016, 01:07:56 PM »
I see the :bouncy: in the OP is well aged, a fine vintage whine.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: And a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #23 on: July 10, 2016, 01:11:34 PM »
Quote from: Sassyspop on July 10, 2016, 12:24:09 PM
A vid to Block Buster???? Hmmm

Never mind didn't realize how old the post was
Yes, that was an oldie from 2005 or so.  Back when there was more creativity when DUmp monkeys composed a Bouncy tale.
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