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I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! (Except that one where you're naked in church.)
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. (love it ... )
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE - Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Money isn't everything. But it is WAY ahead of what's in 2nd place!
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
Red meat is NOT bad for you - Fuzzy green meat IS bad for you.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
I FOUND JESUS! - He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana.
