« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Lisa gives marital advice to primitives  (Read 2688 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58700
  • Reputation: +3073/-173
Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« on: February 11, 2009, 02:07:11 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=301x511

Oh my.

This bonfire's somewhat dated, but it's still burning.

Quote
SKKY  (1000+ posts)        Tue Apr-29-08 03:31 PM
Original message

If this has happened to anyone, I'd very much like to know how it turned out...

You and your spouse are struggling and it's been getting steadily worse for 3 years now. One day, you start talking to someone at work with whom you see every day, but never really knew much about.

Then, one day, something clicks and you begin to see that person in a bit of a different light. A few weeks pass, and in conversation, you and this person realize you have a lot in common- A LOT, including marital problems.

You quickly develop a kinships based on your common interests, but also based on your common struggles. Not too long passes and you realize that an attraction has developed. Mild, but obvious and deliberate flirting ensues.

You start going out of your way to see this person at work, at company events, etc. Nothing even remotely physical, of any sort, but it doesn't seem out of the realm of possibilities either.

How does this scenario end up? I feel like I'm somewhat powerless to stop it, and it's starting to make me ill.

Quote
Callalily  (1000+ posts)      Thu May-01-08 06:46 AM
Response to Original message
 
2. I don't mean to sound harsh but maybe you should be expending your energy on your marriage. If it can't be fixed, then get out. Then you'll be available for any and all flirtations to your hearts desire.

Quote
SKKY  (1000+ posts)        Fri May-02-08 09:50 AM
Response to Reply #2
 
4. Not at all harsh, and I appreciate your honesty...

...it's not that I'm expending any energy on this per se. We don't see eachother outside of the work environment, although the amount of time I spend thinking about her is way more than it should be, or more than I would want for that matter.

Quote
liberalhistorian  (1000+ posts)        Wed Feb-04-09 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #4
 
14. That's because she represents a "fantasy", not reality. You don't have to deal with the daily grind of life with her (kids, bills, chores, in-laws, household stuff, money being tight, etc., etc., etc.)

You always see the work person at their best because that's when people ARE at their best, for the most part, at work. You don't see them without makeup on shuffling around the house in a robe and disheveled hair, or when they're sick, or when they're in a cranky mood 'cause they've been up with a sick kid or just did two loads of laundry with no help, etc., etc., etc.

What you're seeing in this "work woman" is fantasy, not reality, along with a shared bond of "how awful my spouse is", which you both then feed off of, blahblahblah, when BOTH of you should be putting your energy toward your marriage and not each other. She represents a fantasy, an "escape" from your current marital problems and issues, so you see her in that light as opposed to the way she really is.

And just because there may not be anything physical doesn't mean you can't call it an "affair." It's called an emotional affair, or EA, and those are often even more damaging than physical affairs. When you turn to someone of the opposite sex emotionally the way you're doing, and you begin to share things you aren't sharing with your wife and develop an emotional bond that should go to your wife, then that's an emotional affair that can be just as damaging.

The interesting thing is that studies show that women are more hurt by emotional infidelity than physical and men are more hurt by physical infidelity than emotional. Don't think your wife isn't starting to suspect something might be going on emotionally with you. Read the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass for a much better explanation of all of this.

I know the danger of this kind of thing first-hand, from both sides of the fence, and I really hate to see you or anyone else fall into this trap. I hope I'm not coming off as too judgmental, 'cause I'm sympathetic to you as well as your wife.

Quote
Qanisqineq  (1000+ posts)      Mon May-05-08 11:44 AM
Response to Reply #2

6. I agree having been both the cheater in a relationship and the cheated in my marriage, don't let this flirtation go any further. If you feel it might, break it off or get out of your marriage. It doesn't get much more hurtful than cheating. If you ever loved or respected your wife, do not ****ing do that to her.

Quote
SKKY  (1000+ posts)        Mon May-05-08 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #6

7. I haven't, and I wouldn't....

...Just recently there was an opportunity for me to have done that, and it really wasn't very hard for me to say no. I would be crushed if she did that to me, and aside from our troubles, I still do care very much about her.

The rest of it's pretty much like this.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2009, 10:49:27 AM by franksolich »
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2009, 02:21:43 PM »
He didn't take the advice.  He's divorcing his wife.

Every picture he posts of himself he's touching his crotch.
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline DumbAss Tanker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 28493
  • Reputation: +1707/-151
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2009, 02:21:48 PM »
Let's just say that despite all their protestations of fidelity, the normal outcome of this scenario is two co-workers making wild monkey love somewhere between the copier and the nearest Motel 6.

 :lmao:
Logged
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline Traveshamockery

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4391
  • Reputation: +373/-54
  • Nana to Kyle and Garrett
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2009, 02:40:40 PM »
Quote from: shadeaux on February 11, 2009, 02:21:43 PM
He didn't take the advice.  He's divorcing his wife.

Every picture he posts of himself he's touching his crotch.

I think he was expecting to get permission from the other dummies. 

 :ohnoes:
Logged

Offline Karin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17549
  • Reputation: +1634/-80
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2009, 03:39:36 PM »
I absolutely HATE it when somebody gets on one of these forums and tells this same old boring story.  I know it must be thrilling for the principal, he's got the hots and all, but to rehash this same sad story and the same predictable responses is so tiresome.  Why do they think we care?
Logged

Offline DumbAss Tanker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 28493
  • Reputation: +1707/-151
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2009, 03:48:10 PM »
Quote from: Karin on February 11, 2009, 03:39:36 PM
I absolutely HATE it when somebody gets on one of these forums and tells this same old boring story.  I know it must be thrilling for the principal, he's got the hots and all, but to rehash this same sad story and the same predictable responses is so tiresome.  Why do they think we care?

Honestly, they are after all posting it for a bunch of other total emo cases to read, so maybe they do care in their pathetically ineffectual way.  The humor their stupidity parade provides for the rest of the world is a totally unintended consequence for the posters.
Logged
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline Texacon

  • Super
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12318
  • Reputation: +1251/-55
  • All The Way!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2009, 03:50:43 PM »
Quote from: Karin on February 11, 2009, 03:39:36 PM
I absolutely HATE it when somebody gets on one of these forums and tells this same old boring story.  I know it must be thrilling for the principal, he's got the hots and all, but to rehash this same sad story and the same predictable responses is so tiresome.  Why do they think we care?

Don't say that Karin.  Ever since you came on this site and I saw that picture of you in your avatar ... well, let's just say it has been hard to control myself.  I have pondered sending you numerous pm's but I'm afraid my wife would find out. 

 :rotf:

KC
Logged
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

*Stolen

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2009, 03:55:28 PM »
Lisa made me laugh when she said this:


Quote
It's called an emotional affair, or EA


 :-)
Logged

Offline Lisa

  • Just Off Probation
  • *
  • Posts: 108
  • Reputation: +22/-23
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2009, 04:55:41 PM »
Quote from: shadeaux on February 11, 2009, 02:21:43 PM
He didn't take the advice.  He's divorcing his wife.

Every picture he posts of himself he's touching his crotch.

Oh, dear, I hadn't known that. I guess some people can only learn the hard way. That'll be his problem, though. He made his bed, so to speak, he can lie in it. I hope his wife takes him to the cleaners and back.
Logged

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58700
  • Reputation: +3073/-173
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2009, 04:58:34 PM »
Quote from: Lisa on February 11, 2009, 04:55:41 PM
I hope his wife takes him to the cleaners and back.

We all do, madam.

I've also been following the saga of the Pragophobic primitive, the "blondeatleast" primitive, and her experiences with a husband who can't keep his anatomy inside his pants; there seems to be near-unanimous sentiment here that the Pragophobic primitive gets all she can, as much as she can, as quick as she can, from two-timing hubby.
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Lisa

  • Just Off Probation
  • *
  • Posts: 108
  • Reputation: +22/-23
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2009, 05:01:49 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on February 11, 2009, 04:58:34 PM
We all do, madam.

I've also been following the saga of the Pragophobic primitive, the "blondeatleast" primitive, and her experiences with a husband who can't keep his anatomy inside his pants; there seems to be near-unanimous sentiment here that the Pragophobic primitive gets all she can, as much as she can, as quick as she can, from two-timing hubby.

I feel really bad for her. She's actually a very nice person. I, too, hope she puts the hammer on him and lets him have it. I feel bad for their son, though. It's never easy dealing with a parents' divorce, especially under these circumstances, but when you're on the cusp of adolescence it's especially difficult.
Logged

Offline diesel driver

  • Creepy Ass Cracker and Smart-Ass White Boy!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9126
  • Reputation: +605/-55
  • Enhancing My Carbon Footprint!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2009, 07:33:42 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on February 11, 2009, 02:21:48 PM
Let's just say that despite all their protestations of fidelity, the normal outcome of this scenario is two co-workers making wild monkey love somewhere between the copier and the nearest Motel 6.
:lmao:

Pretty much.  My ex-wife basically did the same thing where she worked at. 

She left out the door with just the clothes on her back, and the 2 year-old car, with the payments

I got the house, land, my truck, the kids (16 and 20 at the time)

The following year, I got a NEW wife, 3 step-kids, and a dachshund named "Jake"

I couldn't be happier!   :-)
Logged
Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline Lisa

  • Just Off Probation
  • *
  • Posts: 108
  • Reputation: +22/-23
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2009, 07:52:13 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on February 11, 2009, 07:33:42 PM
Pretty much.  My ex-wife basically did the same thing where she worked at. 

She left out the door with just the clothes on her back, and the 2 year-old car, with the payments

I got the house, land, my truck, the kids (16 and 20 at the time)

The following year, I got a NEW wife, 3 step-kids, and a dachshund named "Jake"

I couldn't be happier!   :-)

LOL, good for you! Sounds like you're a lot better off without the ex.
Logged

Offline AllosaursRus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11672
  • Reputation: +424/-293
  • Skip Tracing by Contract Only!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2009, 08:10:22 PM »
I've been married 36 years! It hasn't come easy. We have had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade her for a hundred DUmpsters!

Hell she could kick your ass and I'd be proud to stand and watch!

My anniversery was yesterday! Not many except my grandparents could even come close!
Logged
I'm the guy your mother warned you about!
 

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2009, 08:47:37 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on February 11, 2009, 08:10:22 PM
I've been married 36 years! It hasn't come easy. We have had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade her for a hundred DUmpsters!

Hell she could kick your ass and I'd be proud to stand and watch!

My anniversery was yesterday! Not many except my grandparents could even come close!

H5 for the anniversary!
Logged
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline diesel driver

  • Creepy Ass Cracker and Smart-Ass White Boy!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9126
  • Reputation: +605/-55
  • Enhancing My Carbon Footprint!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2009, 09:13:55 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on February 11, 2009, 08:10:22 PM
I've been married 36 years! It hasn't come easy. We have had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade her for a hundred DUmpsters!

Hell she could kick your ass and I'd be proud to stand and watch!

My anniversery was yesterday! Not many except my grandparents could even come close!

Congrats!

My first one went 22+ years.  This one is going strong after 6 years.
Logged
Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2009, 10:51:56 PM »
Congratulations !!

In 5 months we'll be hitting 32 years.

WOO HOO !!!

My man ain't no DUmmie !!
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline The Village Idiot

  • Banned
  • Probationary (Probie)
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +96/-15
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2009, 11:09:16 PM »
Quote from: Texacon on February 11, 2009, 03:50:43 PM
Don't say that Karin.  Ever since you came on this site and I saw that picture of you in your avatar ... well, let's just say it has been hard to control myself.  I have pondered sending you numerous pm's but I'm afraid my wife would find out. 

 :rotf:

KC

what picture?? I wanna see!  :p
Logged

Offline AllosaursRus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11672
  • Reputation: +424/-293
  • Skip Tracing by Contract Only!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #18 on: February 12, 2009, 12:49:44 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on February 11, 2009, 08:47:37 PM
H5 for the anniversary!

Back at ya! H5! I always cover my tracks!

Toots has been my savior for every year of the 36! I'm a total asshole, she's probly the only one in the world that would have put up with me this long!

My current "occupation" stresses her immensely. She's always had my back! Me, I've always had her front!!!!!!! She's got a pair of 38's!  :-)  :hammer:
Logged
I'm the guy your mother warned you about!
 

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #19 on: February 12, 2009, 04:21:20 AM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on February 12, 2009, 12:49:44 AM
Back at ya! H5! I always cover my tracks!

Toots has been my savior for every year of the 36! I'm a total asshole, she's probly the only one in the world that would have put up with me this long!

My current "occupation" stresses her immensely. She's always had my back! Me, I've always had her front!!!!!!! She's got a pair of 38's!  :-)  :hammer:

I feel like a newbie, then, as my wife and I will be celebrating our 8th in June.  It's the only marriage for the two of us.  I figure that if I work at making her happy, then she'll have no qualms about returning the favor.  And, she knows how to shoot, and where my guns and ammo are.
Logged
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline Karin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17549
  • Reputation: +1634/-80
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #20 on: February 12, 2009, 09:41:07 AM »
Hey Texacon, all the newbies get assigned that caveman avatar.  I'd rather have none. 

Logged

Offline Vagabond

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2478
  • Reputation: +166/-52
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #21 on: February 12, 2009, 10:46:21 AM »
I don't know.  I've come close to dumping my wife four times in eleven years, and it isn't because I've got the hots for any other woman.
Logged
There comes a time when even good men must run up the black flag of anarchy and slit throats. - H.L. Mencken

Offline Texacon

  • Super
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12318
  • Reputation: +1251/-55
  • All The Way!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2009, 02:43:14 PM »
Quote from: Karin on February 12, 2009, 09:41:07 AM
Hey Texacon, all the newbies get assigned that caveman avatar.  I'd rather have none. 



Yes, dear, I know.  I wuz jest givin' you a hard time.  MY avatar is far better looking that I am so I'm sure the roles were reversed.  Or maybe I was just doing some DUmmie projection?  I do look a little like the avatar you were using!   :-)

KC
Logged
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

*Stolen

Offline Texacon

  • Super
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12318
  • Reputation: +1251/-55
  • All The Way!
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2009, 02:44:12 PM »
Quote from: Karin on February 12, 2009, 09:41:07 AM
Hey Texacon, all the newbies get assigned that caveman avatar.  I'd rather have none. 



^5 for the new avatar btw.

KC
Logged
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

*Stolen

Offline The Village Idiot

  • Banned
  • Probationary (Probie)
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +96/-15
Re: our esteemed Lisa gives marital advice to primitives
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2009, 06:05:10 PM »
Quote from: Karin on February 12, 2009, 09:41:07 AM
Hey Texacon, all the newbies get assigned that caveman avatar.  I'd rather have none. 



I think it must be a rule that all female members should have their own pic as an avatar
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »