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Author Topic: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt  (Read 1817 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« on: March 23, 2010, 11:17:18 PM »
I really feel that reading these CalPig "poems" should qualify for that Discovery Channel show "Dirty Jobs". This one is mercifully short, but nasty nonetheless:
Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Mar-22-10 05:37 PM
Original message
My poem for Spring: 
 Shining Darkness


the nipple
shines

as the clothing
peels
away

a flower
budding open
in
spring


© 2010 MLC
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=216&topic_id=6098
Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty.

I just counted 'em. Fourteen. Fourteen words. They were just minding their own business, making a living as part of a vocabulary, and then found themselves chosen, apparently at random, for this awful post by the CalPig. How can anyone make such horrid use of fourteen perfectly good, innocent words?
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Offline Ree

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2010, 11:39:01 PM »
Now I know she has that old timers disease...
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Offline dutch508

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2010, 11:47:57 PM »
What the **** was that?  ::)

It completely put me off watching Chinese porn.   :banghead:

I am going to now go out and punch a kitten, right in the face.  :hammer:
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Offline dandi

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2010, 01:08:14 AM »
*shudder*
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Offline crockspot

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2010, 01:17:53 AM »
First roses for Bella Pelosi, now CalPig's nipples in a sheer nightie....

I think I'll kill myself now.
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Offline Chris

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2010, 03:47:51 AM »
Mmmmm... nipples the size of silver dollars.  Yeah, baby.

 :rotf:
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2010, 05:46:50 AM »
You know, with poetry that bad, she may be in line for a government grant.
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Offline Karin

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2010, 07:49:22 AM »
Hanging down to her knees. 

Oh My Good Lord In Heaven. 
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Offline Mike220

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2010, 10:01:46 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on March 24, 2010, 05:46:50 AM
You know, with poetry that bad, she may be in line for a government grant.

Which she'll "forget" to pay taxes on, setting her up for a high level government job.
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Offline lastparker

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2010, 11:38:32 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on March 24, 2010, 05:46:50 AM
You know, with poetry that bad, she may be in line for a government grant.

If there's ever a U.S. Department of Fine Arts, CalPeg is assured a civil service position therein.

ETA:  The disclaimer, a la TLB:

Quote
Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad.  It's awful.  It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it.  It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits.  It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.

Her poetry needs immolation.  She needs to have all writing implements and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes.  Maybe medication will help.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 11:40:56 AM by lastparker »
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2010, 11:44:45 AM »
Stomach pain
intestinal blockage
need to poop

much more bearable
than CalPig poetry
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2010, 12:02:41 PM »
Quote from: FGL on March 24, 2010, 11:44:45 AM
Stomach pain
intestinal blockage
need to poop

much more bearable
than CalPig poetry

Here

I stand

sun shining

sweat pouring

stink rising

Like Calpig

poetry stinking

Stink-stink-stink-stink
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"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Mike220

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2010, 12:05:13 PM »
My poetic response:

Quote
That sucked.
More than Monica did Bill.
I think I just upchucked.

The end.
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Offline delilahmused

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2010, 12:08:27 PM »
I'm thinking a guy could take a handful of Viagra and still not get it up after seeing her tits.

Cindie
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2010, 12:18:58 PM »
Quote from: delilahmused on March 24, 2010, 12:08:27 PM
I'm thinking a guy could take a handful of Viagra and still not get it up after seeing her tits.

Cindie

Those are tits?!?!?!  :puke:
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2010, 12:37:08 PM »
the nipple
shines

red nipple
gleaming

blink, blink, blink, blink.
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2010, 12:40:20 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on March 24, 2010, 12:37:08 PM
the nipple
shines

red nipple
gleaming

blink, blink, blink, blink.

Damn you man!!!  You're gonna burn through all the Mind Bleach(TM) I have left, and the next truck doesn't come until Monday.
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Offline lastparker

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2010, 01:04:51 PM »
I have some you can borrow.

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Offline njpines

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2010, 01:19:09 PM »
Quote from: Karin on March 24, 2010, 07:49:22 AM
Hanging down to her knees. 


horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible . . . :chairshot:
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Offline Gwitness

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2010, 10:12:11 PM »
*insert puking smiley here*
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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2010, 01:29:14 AM »
Quote from: DefiantSix on March 24, 2010, 12:18:58 PM
Those are tits?!?!?!  :puke:

May have been at one time....

If they hang any lower, she'd step on them....
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Offline kenth

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2010, 01:54:18 AM »
Quote from: diesel driver on March 25, 2010, 01:29:14 AM
May have been at one time....

If they hang any lower, she'd step on them....

Doesn't have to wear a bra, just cargo pants?
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Offline miskie

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #22 on: March 25, 2010, 06:24:54 AM »
oh that explains it -- they hang so low and are so wrinkly now that they are frequently mistaken for testicles.
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Offline kenth

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #23 on: March 25, 2010, 06:41:31 AM »
Quote from: miskie on March 25, 2010, 06:24:54 AM
oh that explains it -- they hang so low and are so wrinkly now that they are frequently mistaken for testicles.

 :lmao:
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
« Reply #24 on: March 25, 2010, 06:49:16 AM »
Quote from: miskie on March 25, 2010, 06:24:54 AM
oh that explains it -- they hang so low and are so wrinkly now that they are frequently mistaken for testicles.

TESTICLES!...well, she better get those 2 moles looked at.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin
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