Author Topic: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie (MrScorpio)  (Read 5302 times)

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Offline franksolich

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2014: #07 Top DUmmie (MrScorpio)
« on: December 26, 2014, 09:02:52 PM »
Congratulations! to MrScorpio, winner of the seventh place in this year’s Top Dummies.

Now, I thought for sure MrScorpio, recently re-christened “Lamond X,” had been a frequent winner in these contests, given that he’s been around a very long time; surely he’s been on every single ballot the past ten elections.

But much to my surprise, no.

He’s been on every ballot, but only ever won

#14 Top DUmmie of 2005
#03 Top DUmmie of 2012
#17 Top DUmmie of 2013

One wonders why this is, as Lamond X is certainly no wallflower, making only cameo appearances here in the DUmpster. 

I suppose one need only to look at the demographics of those who vote in the Top DUmmies elections, a constituency that’s predominately white.

So that’s it; MrScorpio does so miserably because we’re “all” racists, and won't vote for black people.

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Lamond X is 53 years old, and currently lives in or around Detroit, his occupation being only God knows what, and his recreation playing a disc-jockey.

Myself being a fair and impartial semi-professional observer of the primitives, it needs pointed out that Lamond X honorably served this country in the military, and it looks as if he put in twenty years of that.

So we all thank MrScorpio for his service, and are confident that if this Great Republic is in peril, and all men summoned to do their duty, Lamond X will be one of the first to answer the clarion call.

Lamond X is also enthusiastic about his background; the history of all those who came before him, giving him life.  He’s done remarkable work on his genealogy, showing that he comes from a long line of good, decent, modest, hardworking people, many of whom have undoubtedly found more riches and ease, more love and compassion, in a Time and Place not this.

They were very pleasant-looking, aesthetic people; one supposes Lamond X is an anomaly, a mutant.

His appellation as resembling a pineapple might, or might not, be an accurate description; years ago, it was based upon a self-posted photograph of himself, in which he resembled nothing more than a pineapple-shaped head sitting atop a larger pineapple.

Who knows; a camera rarely lies, but sometimes it does.

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What has always been most interesting about Lamond X is his insistence upon being the “authenticator” of “black,” at least on Skins’s island.  As expected, if one’s of African derivation and a Democrat, he’s a “real” black, and if one’s of African derivation but a Republican, he’s a phony.

This is peculiarly odd, given that MrScorpio has been one of the biggest propagandists for the current occupant of the White House.  His skin’s the color of black, and he’s a Democrat, so therefore he’s “real.”

Yeah, right; as most already know, Barack Obama is half African-derived, half European-derived; half black, half white.

His skin’s just very dark; that’s all.  In case one doesn’t know this, ethnic Ethiopians, usually blacker than midnight, are scientifically classified as “Caucasian,” given their features more distinctive than just their skin.

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And one must consider other things; Lamond X appears to think that he and Barack Obama have a great deal in common, that they’re “brothers.”

Uh, no.

Lamond X’s antecedents were from western Africa, forcibly brought to this hemisphere under the most abominable circumstances--chieftains of some African tribes capturing members of other African tribes, marching them to the coast, where they were sold to Europeans, who conveyed them over the seas.

Where they of course lived in the most deplorable of conditions.

A sorry situation which somewhat still exists today, the plantation having been replaced by the ghetto, and the southern planters having been replaced by northern Democrats.

Half of Barack Obama’s ancestors were from eastern Africa, people who’d never been forcibly brought here, treated as chattel rather than human beings with Immortal Souls.

In fact, they flourished and prospered selling other Africans into servitude to the Arabs of southern Asia (and to a very constricted degree, despite the colonizing white man’s most vigorous attempts to stamp out slavery, still do).  They were never slaves in this country, and there being so few of them here, they never really shared in the black experience in America.

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There’s no doubt that Lamond X has fully experienced what it’s like, being black in America; there’s far more doubt than certainty, that Barack Obama ever had any similar experience.

Barack Obama and franksolich have much more in common, than Barack Obama and MrScorpio, the only difference in the former being the shade of our skin.  Which is the only similarity between the latter.

As an “authenticator” of “blackness,” Lamond X is a dud.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2014, 10:21:53 PM by franksolich »
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2014, 09:15:18 PM »
Congratulations! to MrScorpio, winner of the seventh place in this year’s Top Dummies.

Now, I thought for sure MrScorpio, recently re-christened “Lamond X,” had been a frequent winner in these contests, given that he’s been around a very long time; surely he’s been on every single ballot the past ten elections.

But much to my surprise, no.

He’s been on every ballot, but only ever won

#14 Top DUmmie of 2005
#03 Top DUmmie of 2012
#17 Top DUmmie of

I'm also surprised at his previous showings. Despite having a better grasp at writing, he often comes across as a more militant and less intelligent version of nads.

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Offline Carl

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2014, 09:16:56 PM »
Dorkio is a stupid fool that is sure he can become king of the DUmp.

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2014, 09:28:56 PM »
When did Lamond Woodall become Lamond X?

Offline franksolich

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2014, 09:43:44 PM »
When did Lamond Woodall become Lamond X?

About three days ago.

I re-read a book I'd read as a kid, about 10 or 11 years old, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, and thought it sounded appropriate.

This was when my older brothers and sisters had turned into hippies, and were always writing me from college, encouraging me to read this book or that book, perhaps subconsciously trying to "convert" me to hippieism.

About the same time, I read Dick Gregory's autobiography, by then an old paperback book.  If one disregards his politics, Gregory strikes one as the most human, as the most empathetic, of the two, and I liked that book better.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2014, 09:51:51 PM »
I'm also surprised at his previous showings. Despite having a better grasp at writing, he often comes across as a more militant and less intelligent version of nads.

You know, what surprised me--and greatly so--in 2008 was that the primitives never seriously considered ex-congresswoman Cynthia McKinney for the Democrat nomination for president.

Here, they had someone who knew what it was really like, being black in America, and a woman, to boot.  The primitives could've killed two birds with one stone, having a presidential candidate who was both black and a woman.

Why they fell for the one they did, especially the primitives of African derivation, shouldn't be a mystery, though.

If one looks at other messiahs of African derivation--Prophet Jones, Father Divine, Marcus Garvey, &c., &c., &c.--none of them were purely black, having some of that ol' debbil white man in their family trees.

Sadly, and I mean this sincerely, I dunno why Americans of African derivation seem to be seduced by fakes and charlatans.  I wish they wouldn't.
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2014, 10:42:07 PM »
Scorpio or Lamont...he looks flaming gay to me.

I've spoken to him at DI. He LOVES being the victim. And being white I have no right to correct him or point out that blacks who point guns at cops are basically killing themselves. Lamont refuses to acknowledge there is any black on black crime.

In short, he is a DUmmy to the core, intolerant, inflexible, and unable to speak beyond today's talking point.
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2014, 11:07:35 PM »
I've pegged him the boy primitive simply because his is the mind of a child, not an adult. I've often pointed out that all male primitives (there are no men who are primitives, as the qualities which makes a male a man does not dwell within any of them) could rightly be called boy primitives, but the name applies more to Lamond than most of the others, so he gets to own it.

As for his time in the military, the USA is a safer place with him OUT of the service (which is also true of all primitives, but applicable even more so with Lamond).

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Offline franksolich

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2014, 06:10:54 AM »
I've pegged him the boy primitive simply because his is the mind of a child, not an adult. I've often pointed out that all male primitives (there are no men who are primitives, as the qualities which makes a male a man does not dwell within any of them) could rightly be called boy primitives, but the name applies more to Lamond than most of the others, so he gets to own it.

Rather than saying "Barack Obama has more in common with franksolich....." which is true, now I'm thinking it would've been more appropriate to insist "Barack Obama has more in common with the lily-white Bostonian Drunkard....."

Raised under affluent circumstances and the male parent being absent, makes this other comparison more accurate.

But such things happen when all awards are first-and-only drafts, and one hasn't paused to reconsider, edit, and refine.  On one hand, one then misses opportunities to correct, or to make more-witty remarks, but on the other hand, I'm not a good enough writer to bother with it. 

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Okay, we're now down to six top primitives, and the winners of the Skippy, the stewert, the group award, and the franksolich; anyone care to start speculating about who any of these are?
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Offline Tess Anderson

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Re: 2014: #07 Top DUmmie (MrScorpio)
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2014, 08:44:26 PM »
Lamond cleaned up this year - he "discovered" franksolich's presence at DU jr, ya know.  ::)

Anybody have any more personal background on MrDork? I'm asking for a reason . . .