No Countdown Tonight

[thundley4]

MadBadger (1000+ posts)             Thu Feb-25-10 05:00 PM
Original message
No Countdown Tonight
   
http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/msnbc/keith_olberma...

Special Edition of Hardball with Tweety, Chuck Todd,and Savannah Guthrie will air instead.
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Raven   (1000+ posts)           Thu Feb-25-10 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
1. That's not good. Good thoughts for KO.
   

  http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7795943

That's it so far, but I've seen some rumors on other boards that Special Queef may be getting the axe soon. The Island would go insane, well more so if that happens.

[BEG]

Maybe is his busy smothering his dad with a pillow?!? 

[dutch508]

Maybe is his busy smothering his dad with a pillow?!? 

is that a masterbation reference?

[BEG]

is that a masterbation reference?

LOL NO you perv. 

You have to sit through it all to get what I am referring to.  LINK

[franksolich]

Maybe is his busy smothering his dad with a pillow?!?

Awesome, madam.

Remarkable wit, and I salute you.

[Chris]

MadBadger (1000+ posts)             Thu Feb-25-10 05:00 PM
Original message
No Countdown Tonight
   
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hmmm...

[Mike220]

Wonder why Special Keef must be looking for another job...

Linky

Saw this piece by Tim Colishaw about NBC's putting the US-Canada hockey game on PMSNBC the other night. The money quote:

Seriously, if 8.2 million Americans can find USA-Canada on MSNBC – that's about a month's worth of viewers for Keith Olbermann – do the folks at NBC think their Olympic viewership on the network would have suffered badly by airing hockey in prime time?

I don't know Special Keef's ratings, but I still laughed.

[AllosaursRus]

Hope his dad is ok. My FIL had his colon removed. He lived with a bag tucked in his "bibbies" for over 25 years.

Every once in a while he would have to let the gas outa the bag. Woooooooooooooeeeeeeee!! He could clear the room out in seconds! He/we never had a problem with it! It became a point of hilarity as a matter of fact. I'm glad he had it doene! He was a fine Man and a pleasure to have as a surogate Father as I'd lost mine when I was 26. Him and I cut fire wood, rebiult his cars and trucks, and hunted together for many years. Damn, I'm tearin' up. SHIT I miss him! Gotta go~

[jukin]

is that a masterbation reference?

LMFAO.

I like "Is that what the kids are callin it today?"

[The Village Idiot]

The hockey rating proves that people know where MSNBC is on their dial and that none of those people want to watch their regular programming.

This is called a clue. A hint.
     
Maybe, possibly some suit at MSNBC will have a passing thought that it might be a good idea to, I dunno, get new programming?

[dutch508]

LOL NO you perv. 

You have to sit through it all to get what I am referring to.  LINK

OK...I will 'sit' through it all...    ... and 'get' what you are 'referring' to....   

[BlueStateSaint]

Hope his dad is ok. My FIL had his colon removed. He lived with a bag tucked in his "bibbies" for over 25 years.

Every once in a while he would have to let the gas outa the bag. Woooooooooooooeeeeeeee!! He could clear the room out in seconds! He/we never had a problem with it! It became a point of hilarity as a matter of fact. I'm glad he had it doene! He was a fine Man and a pleasure to have as a surogate Father as I'd lost mine when I was 26. Him and I cut fire wood, rebiult his cars and trucks, and hunted together for many years. Damn, I'm tearin' up. SHIT I miss him! Gotta go~

My father has had a colostomy bag sincce 1972.  He can clear out a room with no problem at all.  We're talking basketball court-sized rooms.  Still going after all these years with the bag.  He'll hit 69 in May.

Mike, that tidbit about PMSNBC's ratings for Queef on a weeknight and US-Canada hockey on a weekend is a good one.  It would seem that the biggies at PMSNBC have a quandry--what to do?  Do they piss off their five viewers by giving Queef the axe?  (Oh--the US-Canada rematch should be a ratings bonanza.)

[Chris]

I don't know Special Keef's ratings, but I still laughed.

That's an entire week's worth of shows for Olbermann.

[Tucker]

  http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7795943

That's it so far, but I've seen some rumors on other boards that Special Queef may be getting the axe soon. The Island would go insane, well more so if that happens.

Who will all the DUmmy's send all their perceived injustice stories to? When one of the island denizen howls how the man has screwed him over, several post to send the story to KO.

[USA4ME]

Seriously, if 8.2 million Americans can find USA-Canada on MSNBC – that's about a month's worth of viewers for Keith Olbermann

I bet the USA-Canada women's hockey final had more viewers than Keef has for a month.  He wasn't that good when he was with ESPN.  At least then no one knew he was an anti-American kook.

.

[AllosaursRus]

Who will all the DUmmy's send all their perceived injustice stories to? When one of the island denizen howls how the man has screwed him over, several post to send the story to KO.

My bets are on "The View". Barbara Wawa, Whoopdeedoo and that other c**t, will be happy to take it over. A sorrier trey of lefty twats don't exist anywhere else on the tube!

[Ralph Wiggum]

Seriously, if 8.2 million Americans can find USA-Canada on MSNBC – that's about a month's worth of viewers for Keith Olbermann – do the folks at NBC think their Olympic viewership on the network would have suffered badly by airing hockey in prime time?

 

Awesome line, Cowlishaw.

[thundley4]

My bets are on "The View". Barbara Wawa, Whoopdeedoo and that other c**t, will be happy to take it over. A sorrier trey of lefty twats don't exist anywhere else on the tube!

don't forget Fat Rosie O and her show on satellite radio. She's also a "Troofer" as a side benefit.

[PatriotGame]

LOL NO you perv. 

You have to sit through it all to get what I am referring to.  LINK

The problem wasn't removing the colon. It was their failure to remove his dad's head from his dad's rectum at the same time.
Any person that could spawn such a worthless un-American cocksucking sack of shit as Quief, would surely have his head stuffed firmly up his ass.

[AllosaursRus]

A word about preventative maintenance.......

ABOUT THE WRITER
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald

Colonoscopy Journal:
 
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
   
A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through   Minneapolis .

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.  In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.  You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug.  This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture ofgoat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently..  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.  Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.  I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?'  How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?  Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.  Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.   
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.  You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I was seriously nervous at this point.
   
Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
   
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.  I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1.. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2.. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3.. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4.. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5.. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6.. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7.. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8.. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9.. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

           And the best one of all:

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

This thread needed to brighten up a bit, heh, heh.

[BlueStateSaint]

I love reading Dave Barry!

[The Village Idiot]

That is a funny column

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently..  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

Sounds like a religious experience.

[TheSarge]

That is a funny column

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently..  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

Sounds like a religious experience.

Sounds like what I need before my next weigh in LOL!

[Randy]

Sounds like what I need before my next weigh in LOL!

Just remember, Dave's being subtle. Reality is much much worse. 

[BlueStateSaint]

Sounds like what I need before my next weigh in LOL!

I had a PV2 that could have used it.  I told him once, when I saw him sitting on a cot cross-legged, that he looked like Buddha.