riderinthestorm (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-03-09 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
1. I find myself depressed after getting together with my mother, a fundy/bigot/Rethug of the worst order.
We discuss the weather, celebrity gossip, gardening tips, recipes, home decor... anything frivolous and innocuous. We can't discuss my husband's stage IV, grade IV lymphoma (up for a stem cell treatment - a big no no for her as it crosses religious lines), or my daughter's relationship with her SO who she's living with ("in sin" - my mom), my sister's divorce from her abusive husband (wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING!!11!!!11), Obama ("negros" who will only look out for their "own" - sniff!), politics in general (Bush is a gawd, Clinton is a horse's ass), whether Faux News and Rush Limbaugh are fact based organizations.....
It's distressing. And you are right, not remotely interesting or funny but stressful and disturbing. I do my penance weekly, and meet with her for lunch, but we are so incompatible I wonder if I simply called it off, if she would breathe a sigh of relief.
Firstly, there's nothing wrong with small talk, it's part of the fabric of our lives. I have my deepest conversations with my sister but we also talk about gardening, kids, pets, the weather, hobbies, etc.
Second, how ****ing depraved do you have to be to outright LIE about your husband's illness and treatment. NO "fundy" is going to have a problem with this because they USE HIS OWN STEM CELLS. His blood is run through a machine that extracts the stem cells from his blood. If you don't know this and are incapable of explaining it to your mother what the hell kind of a wife are you? My guess, despite whatever "treatment" your mom thinks he's getting, she prays for him every day.
And I know of NO mother worth a damn who wouldn't want her daughter out of an abusive relationship. "Submit" does NOT mean allowing yourself to get the crap beat out of you.
Someday your mother won't be there anymore, is it really worth lying about her to make her seem mean & bigoted just so you can pretend to be a long-suffering saint on an anonymous message board? My mother was a moonbat and an alcoholic but I'm so glad we talked every week. Even if she didn't remember, I did. Now that she's not here, I miss her voice. Maybe she wasn't Donna Reed but she gave me life.
Cindie