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Greetings.
This thread is for campaigning on behalf of one’s favorite candidates for the Top DUmmies of 2016, and will remain open for the next ten days, until voting ends circa suppertime Wednesday December 14.
One is utterly free to divulge how one’s voting, but this is NOT a voting thread; voting is done only by secret ballot.
This is because voting on a thread gives lurking primitives at least a vague idea whether they’re going to win or not, and once they decide they’re not going to win, they quit coming over here to check.
They’re selfish self-absorbed narcissists, the primitives are; interested only in their own squalid petty selves, and not in the fates of any of their co-primitives.
This defeats one of the principal purposes of the DUmpter, that of illuminating the primitives so that they may become better people. So anything that compels them to come over here and read, is a worthy public service, a noble endeavor.
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Anyone is eligible to vote. This includes bona fide members and primitives masquerading as decent and civilized people. However, franksolich has conceded to Mr. Wiggum, who counts the votes, the prerogative to determine whether or not a voter is legit; it’s all his call, and I stand firmly behind him whatever calls he makes.
One votes by sending Mr. Wiggum a personal message here (obviously an option available only to members of conservative cave), “Ralph Wiggum,†or by sending him an e-mail at ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com
Votes are utterly confidential; Mr. Wiggum shares that information with no one, not even his grandmother. And because franksolich trusts him, I myself don’t even bother asking.
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The ballot is printed separately, at the appropriate time following this introduction. The appropriate time is sometime later today; I’m not sure exactly when.
There are fourteen awards given out, of which votes are solicited for eleven; one each to the Top Ten DUmmies of 2017 and the William Rivers Pitt, the “Bill,†for the most memorable primitive, dead or alive, current or not, these past fifteen years.
(In previous years, the “Bill†was the “Willy,’ but its nickname was changed after franksolich learned that Mama Raven had explicitly taught her darling little boy to disregard “Bill†because it was a “common†name, whereas “Will†was haute couture, upper class.
(Well my my, isn’t that special. The problem being, there’s nothing classy or good taste about drunken Bill, and primitives need to be called what they really are, not what they suppose they are.)
The other three awards include the Ralphie, the winner determined solely by Mr. Wiggum, the franksolich for the primitive determined solely by yours truly who should’ve been in the Top Ten, but wasn’t, and a special award for this year only whose name and purpose hasn’t been decided upon yet; the winner of this one being determined solely by Skins.
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When voting for one’s top ten, one is asked to “rank†his or her top five primitives in descending order, the most important one first.
This is so that Mr. Wiggum may more easily “weigh†the votes, giving 6 votes to one’s first choice, 5 votes to one’s second choice, 4 votes to one’s third choice, 3 votes to one’s fourth choice, 2 votes to one’s fifth choice…..and then 1 vote to each of the bottom five primitives of one’s top ten.
Because of there are razor-thin races determined by a single vote, PLEASE rank them (the top five choices) and PLEASE vote for 10, not any lesser number.