Author Topic: For Musicians....  (Read 1793 times)

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Offline Eupher

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For Musicians....
« on: July 14, 2010, 09:58:41 PM »
A C, an E-flat and a G go into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, but we don't serve minors".
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them....
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
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Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
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Offline dutch508

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2010, 10:33:22 PM »
A C, an E-flat and a G go into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, but we don't serve minors".
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them....

Who was the last note to loose their virginity?

The E flat.
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Offline PatriotGame

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2010, 03:44:37 PM »
"I can C a bridge from my house".
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Offline Eupher

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2010, 04:03:09 PM »
That would be hard when your vision is diminished. But if you augment your mediant, you won't have as much dissonance.
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline PatriotGame

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2010, 04:16:51 PM »
That would be hard when your vision is diminished. But if you augment your mediant, you won't have as much dissonance.
Echo...echo...sibilance...sibilance...is there an echo in hear?
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2010, 08:52:17 PM »
Damn.  Musician humor is even worse than engineers humor.  :thatsright:
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Offline Rick

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2010, 05:30:45 PM »
Yeh, Im going to need some clef notes to understand it.

Offline littlelamb

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2010, 02:44:04 AM »
Yeh, Im going to need some clef notes to understand it.

Me too LOL
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Offline Thor

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2010, 05:39:55 PM »
This joke went to hell in an allegro manner........
"The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation."- IBID

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Offline Eupher

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2010, 08:34:38 AM »
Question: What's the difference between a viola and a violin?
Answer: The viola takes longer to burn.

Question: How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune?
Answer: Shoot one of them.

Question: How many musician jokes are there?
Answer: Just one. The rest are true.
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Eupher

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2010, 08:42:21 AM »
These are expressly for Thor:

Question: How do you know when there's a trombone player at your door?
Answer: His hat says "Domino's Pizza"

Question: What is the definition of "gentleman"?
Answer: Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.

Question: How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Answer: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all the notes.

My personal fave:

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.


 :tongue:





Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2010, 05:08:21 PM »
What do you call a drummer who's broken up with his girlfriend???



Homeless.  :bawl:

Offline vesta111

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #12 on: August 15, 2010, 05:17:41 PM »
I keep breaking my G string, but my bra is still a B flat.

Offline Thor

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Re: For Musicians....
« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2010, 10:46:15 PM »
These are expressly for Thor:

Question: How do you know when there's a trombone player at your door?
Answer: His hat says "Domino's Pizza"

Question: What is the definition of "gentleman"?
Answer: Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.

Question: How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Answer: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all the notes.

My personal fave:

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.


 :tongue:







Hey Eupher??  :bird: :tongue: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
"The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation."- IBID

I AM your General Ne'er Do Well, Troublemaker & All Around Meanie!!

"Congress has not unlimited powers to provide for the general welfare, but only those specifically enumerated."-Thomas Jefferson