for the second year in a row, regrettably there won't be any Top DUmmies of the year contest.
There are other reasons, of which some might know, but the main reason is that there has been a significant decline in the quality of the primitives on Skins's island the past 5-10 years. They just don't make primitives like they used to; the newer ones aren't even a pale imitation of the classic ones.
In fact, nowadays, the primitives are pretty boring; even the race-baiting MrsCorpio primitive provokes only a yawn.
When the decline started becoming apparent, an attempt was made to bolster the numbers by including the primitive malcontents, supporters of the grouchy old crank from Vermont and his thieving wife, who migrated to another message board, but the talent there proved pretty stuffy; rarely has one ever seen such a group of retards imagining themselves so bright. And another attempt was made by including the snobbish elitist lorgnette-and-pearls crowd at DU Jr.; there was some great talent, entertainment, there, but their numbers have been too sparse.
One could perhaps draw up a list of the top three or four DUmmies, but surely no more than that.
It was a good run while it lasted, though, 2005-2016. I enjoyed writing and giving out the awards, as I'm sure Mr. Wiggum had done during the earlier part of the series. My personal favorite award remains the one for the sparkling old dude, the Hus2Sparkly and later the Stinky the Clown primitive, who took second place in 2010. I'm pretty sure his company copied off that award and included it among mailers publicizing themselves, to show potential clients their clout.
It always astounded me that the primitives rarely, if at all, welcomed the well-meant and good-natured efforts of the DUmpster to publicize them and their comments--the blunt truth being that without the DUmpster, the primitives had no wider audience than just among themselves.
We did good for them, and should've gotten our asses kissed, not kicked. Most other places and people would've appreciated the publicity, not feared it.
Perhaps something "special" could be done in the DUmpster to commemorate the primitives this year. but I'm not sure what.
Meantime, to jog the memories, reminding oneself of happier, merrier, jollier times, the past Top DUmmies:
2005 DistressedAmerican
2006 William Pitt (the Bostonian Drunkard, Bill)
2007 TominTib (the lying tits primitive)
2008 TominTib
2009 greenbriar (now demtenjeep with the runny bowels)
2010 Proud2BLibKansan (the dysmenopausal schoolteacher)
2011 nadinbrzezinski (cousin nadin)
2012 BanTheGOP
2013 DainBramaged (walrus face)
2014 mopinko (Big Mo)
2015 randys1
2016 TheMastersNemesis (hypertensive ol' Bob)
