Author Topic: General humor thread (Read 96742 times)

Hawkwarrior2 · « **Reply #225 on:** August 06, 2010, 09:23:33 AM »

Liberals are like slinkies. They really ain't good for much but they bring a smile to your face whne you push them down a flight of stairs.

Golem · « **Reply #226 on:** August 06, 2010, 11:15:24 AM »

Guts or Balls?

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby!'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome: Both result in death.

PatriotGame · « **Reply #227 on:** August 07, 2010, 12:40:59 AM »

Quote from: Golem on August 06, 2010, 11:15:24 AM

Guts or Balls?

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby!'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome: Both result in death.

Been there - still carry the scars...

BTW, your avatar freaks me out for some reason. What is that?

Golem · « **Reply #228 on:** August 07, 2010, 11:16:18 AM »

Quote from: PatriotGame on August 07, 2010, 12:40:59 AM

BTW, your avatar freaks me out for some reason. What is that?

It's a Golem. The avatar is a still from this 90 year old movie. I agree it is creepy. I'll look for another.

Edited: new avatar

PatriotGame · « **Reply #229 on:** August 08, 2010, 05:33:17 AM »

Quote from: Golem on August 07, 2010, 11:16:18 AM

It's a Golem. The avatar is a still from this 90 year old movie. I agree it is creepy. I'll look for another.

Edited: new avatar

No, no, no, no! You do not have to change it! I was just wondering what it was and, what it is for! Please! Do NOT change it on my behalf.
Personally *I* feel it is an icon of this board!

Maybe a thorough explanation of what a Golem really is would be beneficial .

Golem · « **Reply #230 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:34:24 AM »

A Golem is a man-made creature - a precursor to Frankenstein. The most famous Golem legend dates back to Jewish persecution in 16th century Prague, when Rabbi Judah Loew ben Bezalel created a Golem to protect the Jews in the Prague ghetto from anti-Semitic attacks. Golems are incredibly strong and cannot be killed in the conventional way.

This particular Golem eventually ran amok and started killing innocent people. The Rabbi then had to deactivate the Golem. On the Golem's forehead was inscribed the word "emet" - meaning truth in Hebrew. The Rabbi rubbed out the first letter of the word, leaving the word "met" - meaning dead in Hebrew. The Golem was thus deactivated.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/Golem.html

SSG Snuggle Bunny · « **Reply #231 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:56:14 AM »

With apologies to our religious and/or undead board members:

Golem · « **Reply #232 on:** August 08, 2010, 02:22:59 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #233 on:** August 08, 2010, 02:23:58 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #234 on:** August 09, 2010, 11:32:12 AM »

Golem · « **Reply #235 on:** August 09, 2010, 02:37:44 PM »

PatriotGame · « **Reply #236 on:** August 11, 2010, 02:28:27 PM »

Quote from: Golem on August 08, 2010, 02:22:59 PM

Now that is some funny shit right there!!!

Gawd I miss the old Batman...

Golem · « **Reply #237 on:** August 11, 2010, 10:26:56 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #238 on:** August 14, 2010, 05:57:43 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #239 on:** August 15, 2010, 12:03:42 AM »

Golem · « **Reply #240 on:** August 15, 2010, 04:30:49 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #241 on:** August 15, 2010, 04:31:16 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #242 on:** August 15, 2010, 04:31:41 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #243 on:** August 15, 2010, 04:41:01 PM »

Golem · « **Reply #244 on:** August 16, 2010, 03:04:44 PM »

The Hollywood NeoCon · « **Reply #245 on:** August 16, 2010, 04:26:55 PM »

The Hollywood NeoCon · « **Reply #246 on:** August 16, 2010, 04:30:41 PM »

The Hollywood NeoCon · « **Reply #247 on:** August 16, 2010, 04:32:35 PM »

LAUSD: Los Angeles Unified Skool Distrik

Golem · « **Reply #248 on:** August 24, 2010, 05:10:24 PM »

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

Chris_ · « **Reply #249 on:** September 02, 2010, 12:10:45 PM »

I wonder if this is a formal or casual dress event.

News:

Author Topic: General humor thread (Read 96742 times)