Author Topic: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b (Taverner)  (Read 6615 times)

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Offline franksolich

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2012: Top DUmmie #02-b (Taverner)
« on: December 28, 2012, 09:26:36 PM »
Congratulations to Taverner, tied for the #02 spot as Top DUmmie of 2012!

Who would’ve thought?

And even more incredibly, the Taverner primitive came within a hair of winning the big one, as there was only one single vote separating the two second-place primitives from the top primitive.  

The Taverner primitive was in this same slot last year (but not having to share it), as #02 Top DUmmie of 2011; he also won #14 Top DUmmie in 2010.

- - - - - - - - - -

The Taverner primitive, born June 8, 1970, lives in Oakland, California, the son of a retired police officer.  Married, small children.  Occasionally employed, but more usually not.  An aspiring musician, and an avid user of pharmaceuticals, usually the illegal ones.  Has a record, and not of the plastic-disc type.

He was absent from Skins’s island for a few weeks this year, apparently some place where inmates aren’t allowed internet access.  

The Taverner primitive is a short little guy, almost a runt (“short” and “runt” as defined by franksolich, who’s 6’3”, and for whom any male under 6’ is “short”) who likes to keep his head shaved, even though it serves no aesthetic purpose.

The top half of his head is too small for the bottom half of his head; perhaps (franksolich being no medical professional, is simply speculating here) his soft infantile skull got compressed, squeezing his brain as he was coming into this world.


- - - - - - - - - -

The Taverner primitive is of course most notorious for his liking of drugs that end up lethal sooner or later.

However, sometimes he gets his acronyms confused.

Quote
Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts)   Mon Oct-10-11 06:23 PM
Original message

Any LDS DUers out there? I know you exist...

Or at least liberal Mormons.

Yes, I'm an atheist, but I kinda think we all have the right to practice whatever religion, faith or philosophy we wish. Just as you would hate for Jefress to force you to follow one religion over another, I would too.

Anyway, I know you guys are out there. Just want to see a show of hands

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,65392.0

Quote
Taverner (47,918 posts)   Tue Dec 20, 2011, 04:12 PM

5. When I hear "sensitive men," my first question is 'Sensitive to what?'

Me? Define "macho crap." I'm ambivalent about sports, lift weights only because of vanity, and am about the least competitive person you'll ever meet.

That being said, I don't cry in public for the same reason I don't fart in public. No one wants to see or hear that. But hell, when the doors are closed? Yeah, I'd cry my eyes out.

Would I hug another man? If they were a really good friend, but a handshake suffices most of the time.

Do I want to sit around and talk about my feelings? **** NO! Why should I discuss the results of brain chemicals in action?

Would I resort to violence? Never - I just don't see the point.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,69411.0

Quote
Taverner (47,898 posts)   Thu Feb 9, 2012, 03:35 PM

Anyone here have any experience with e-cigarettes?

I quit smoking several years ago (I think I'm going on 12 years) but I would be lying if I didn't say that EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE I HAVE CRAVED CIGARETTES!!!!!!

Let me put it this way, morphine was easier to kick than smoking. I have no desire for morphine, but I would love a smoke.

Anyway, just in case the cravings get really bad, I have a bunch of nic gum to curb the cravings. But I do miss having that smoke.

So - how close are e-cigs to the real thing?

Is the FDA report true? Or is it all BS?

Which one is the best, and which cartrige/flavor is the best if your FAVORITE was Marlboro Reds?

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,69343.0

Quote
Taverner (49,215 posts)   Wed Jun 20, 2012, 05:13 PM

43. Establish Socialism, Government Health Care and end the drug war

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,74556.0

Quote
Taverner (49,631 posts)    Tue Jul 31, 2012, 03:43 PM

****...I failed the certification test

65% to pass...I got 63%.....

I'll take it again Thursday, but now I'm out another $200

^^^obviously in reference to flunking a urine test.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,76000.0

Quote
Taverner (49,983 posts) Wed Sep 26, 2012, 05:20 PM

Is any food safe?

Wheat will kill you. Even whole and sprouted wheat.

Sugar will kill you. Even in fruit.

Milk will kill you.

Meat will kill you - whether by heart problems or by the many other toxins in it.

Soy will kill you.

Rye, Potatoes and Barley will kill you. They have as much sugar as wheat bread.

Any canned food will kill you.

Any plastic packaged food will kill you.

Any paper packaged food will kill you.

-------------------------------------------

So what the **** are you supposed to eat? Dirt?

A couple things left off this list that I guess WON'T kill you like (1) Opium, (2) Wine, (3) Chocolate and (4) Marijuana.

So the gist is take drugs and drink, and don't eat.

Got it.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,78633.0

Quote
Taverner (50,057 posts) Wed Oct 3, 2012, 09:05 PM

12. Can you get a different med?

Fentanyl, Dilaudid or some other PK?

Sometimes you have to mix up the meds…

^^^the Taverner primitive offering drug advice to the pained cali primitive.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,78940.0

Quote
Taverner (50,377 posts)   Thu Nov 1, 2012, 03:49 PM

4. Fun but dangerous

I am lucky all the Laudanum I made and drank didn't kill me.…

 http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,80274.0

- - - - - - - - - -

The Taverner primitive’s also agin’ God and guns.

Quote
Taverner (48,057 posts)    Sat Feb 25, 2012, 09:57 PM
  
I am an Atheist. You are a Theist. What makes us so different?

We're both progressive

We're both wise to attempts to control us

And we both have similar goals

What makes us different?

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,69919.0

Quote
Taverner  (51,300 posts)   Wed Apr 4, 2012, 04:12 PM

Morality and Ethics

I have come to the conclusion that morality is a false flag, a canard and utterly useless.

Morality is a sliding ruler by which to measure right and wrong, which changes arbitrarily based on policies set in some cases thousands of years ago.

When I hear something is "immoral" I hear sanctimoniousness, judgement and a lack of reason. For the record, morality does not come from reason. Nietzsche argued that all morality comes from fear - and I think he's onto something.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Are you saying there is no right and wrong?" you ask.

Nothing of the sort: in fact I think there is a definite right and wrong - and unlike morality it is based on reason and empathy. I am talking about ethics. Ethics ask you to put yourself in that other person's shoes, take a look around, and then make your decision.

Let's take an example: something that one would think is clear: prostitution. Morals would state that being a prostitute is bad. Ethics, on the other hand, do not set things in such stone. If you are a prostitute, you are choosing certain risks. Now, these risks may endanger your life or your health - but that has nothing to do with right and wrong, but more to do with taking care of yourself. You provide a service in exchange for money - no different than house cleaning, giving a massage or doing someone's taxes.

Yes, there is the possible ethical dilemma of whether you are helping someone (your john) to cheat on his or her wife. However, this does not enter the equation during the business transaction, and the ethical dilemma belongs to the john, not the CSW. They have the responsibility to behave ethically to their significant other. If that person's partner is OK with seeing a CSW, no harm no foul.

Morality, on the other hand, is completely arbitrary. It is immoral to drink alcohol if you are a Muslim. It is immoral to eat pork if you are Jewish. It is immoral to masturbate if you are Catholic, and so on. None of these actions does any harm (although the vegetarian ethical dilemma, comes into play.)

Your thoughts?

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,71366.0

Quote
Taverner (50,858 posts) Tue Nov 20, 2012, 01:23 PM

IF god actually existed, I would hate him and fight him with every fiber of my being

Part genocidal maniac, part thought police.

Treats thinking about breaking a rule as bad as actually breaking the rule.

Kills his own son in an effort to prove he is always right.

Horrible at science, math and geography.

Horrible designer.

Cruel, vicious, and jealous.

Would rather a man have his daughters raped than have him have gay sex.

Afterlife a celestial North Korea, except you can't even die.

Says he loves us, but perfectly happy to torture us for infinity.

--------------------

Good thing god doesn't exist, or I'd have some serious work on my hands…

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,81520.0

Quote
Taverner (51,076 posts) Mon Dec 17, 2012, 05:18 PM

Do not call it "Gun Control" - that is a loaded term. Instead, call it "Safety Legislation"

Gun Control sounds like Black helicopters and jack boots to too many.

"Safety Legislation" sounds smart, clear and homey.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,81852.0

- - - - - - - - - -

Finally, one of the Taverner primitive’s more-memorable rants this year:

Quote
Taverner (49,286 posts)    Fri Jun 29, 2012, 04:58 PM

We are at war. You can pretend we can be one country again, but we can't.

The battle lines have been drawn and the troops are amassing on the field.

I hear many on DU who want common ground between us and the GOP. They want common ground between intelligent professors and inbred rednecks. Sorry, it isn't going to happen.

There is no chance to heal these wounds. Since Reagan, they have declared war on US. Remember "Government isn't the solution, it's the problem"?

That was code, saying we, the liberals, the progressives, the intelligent ones, the reason based community, are the problem and Lee Greenwood is the solution.

It was a declaration of war, although we didn't see it as such.

Fast forward to today - it's clear there's a war going on, and the minute we fight back, we get accused of provocation.

Some here want us to make nice with them. They want us to make nice with people who want minorities dead, women kept and our children indoctrinated with their fairy tales. They want us to make nice with people who think they can change reality just by belieiving in a different one. They want us to make nice with people who won't be happy until the middle class is long gone, and we're back in a feudal system.

Well I am here to say **** NICE!

I don't want common ground with these people.

I want a HIGHER ground from them, so if they are in my metaphorical cross hairs I can take them out like the pests they are. I want them gone, and I want them to be tossed to the scrapheap of history.

Do you know what these people think of you? Do you know what they call you behind closed doors - well you can probably guess because Rush has been doing it out in the open. But you women, women who want to make your own decisions - they think you are sluts. They think you are whores. They think you are less human than they are. They think you are incapable of making an intelligent decision.

They are aghast you would question their Iron and Bronze age moral code, and not do what they say. They also train other women to hate you, to view you in contempt.

Do me a favor. Google "Quiverfull Movement" right now. Then after that, google "The Phoenix and the Olive Branch." The latter is a blog run by a survivor of the Quiverfull movement, and she spills the beans on the Patriarchal Slavery that is Quiverfull.

Minorities - they do not believe you are Americans. Here, let me show you a line from De Niro's excellent movie "The Good Shepherd." Edward Wilson, a CIA operative is talking to a Mafioso who asks him what WASPS have to go back to, since the Italians have their families, etc.

Joseph Palmi: Let me ask you something... we Italians, we got our families, and we got the church; the Irish, they have the homeland, Jews their tradition; even the n****, they got their music. What about you people, Mr. Wilson, what do you have?

Edward Wilson: The United States of America. The rest of you are just visiting.

This is what they, the Republicans, think of you. This is how they view you. As visitors. You are not American.

This is what they really mean when they say Obama isn't an American.

It has nothing to do with laws, and everything to do with his skin color and ethnicity.

So play nice with these people?

Sorry, I don't negotiate with terrorists.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,74853.0

Better luck next year, Taverner; perhaps better material might help.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 06:59:59 PM by franksolich »
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Carl

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2012, 09:41:20 PM »
He is the sort that will walk into a store,demand something and when asked for clarification will babble on uselessly as it is impossible for the drug addled brain that is left forming a coherent thought.

I can picture him,eyes just slits,and head barely upright frantically banging a guitar without even trying to make a chord yet thinking he is playing a symphony.

Offline Freeper

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2012, 09:53:07 PM »
He is an oxygen thief.
I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2012, 09:56:35 PM »
Taverner is 100% apeshit primitive.  If he's only tied for second, I've got a good guess who the final two are.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2012, 09:57:18 PM »
Taverner is 100% apeshit primitive.  If he's only tied for second, I've got a good guess who the final two are.

Well, feel free to speculate out loud.

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Offline Tess Anderson

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2012, 10:05:59 PM »
Atman and Nadin I think.

This is a pic of Tav as a skinhead:



what a badass

Way to go, Tav!!!

Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2012, 10:06:18 PM »
Well, feel free to speculate out loud.



Nadin and BanTheGOP.
“Sometimes the curses of the godless sound better than the hallelujahs of the pious.”

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Offline franksolich

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2012, 10:08:15 PM »
Nadin and BanTheGOP.

Good guesses, but we'll see.

But there's one more too, in between the #02-a primitive and the #01 primitive, for the "Rob."

The Robyn McGrath award is for the primitive who makes one laugh the most.

Any guess there?
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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2012, 10:16:48 PM »
Good guesses, but we'll see.

But there's one more too, in between the #02-a primitive and the #01 primitive, for the "Rob."

The Robyn McGrath award is for the primitive who makes one laugh the most.

Any guess there?

Not the slightest clue.  Ever since DreamerTatum got the boot, I only laugh AT the primitives, not really with them.  In that sense, I wish they all could win.
“Sometimes the curses of the godless sound better than the hallelujahs of the pious.”

Martin Luther

Offline franksolich

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2012, 10:19:42 PM »
Not the slightest clue.  Ever since DreamerTatum got the boot, I only laugh AT the primitives, not really with them.  In that sense, I wish they all could win.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Back up a second, please.

When did DreamerTatum get mausoleumed?  I hadn't seen this primitive around for a bit, but just naturally assumed the primitive was on vacation or needed a rest from the internet or something.
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Offline wasp69

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2012, 10:28:01 PM »
Congratulations, "hot shot", here's hoping next year's award will be awarded in a like manner of a prestegious military award - posthumously.
"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

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A community may possess all the necessary moral qualifications, in so high a degree, as to be capable of self-government under the most adverse circumstances; while, on the other hand, another may be so sunk in ignorance and vice, as to be incapable of forming a conception of liberty, or of living, even when most favored by circumstances, under any other than an absolute and despotic government.

John C Calhoun, "Disquisition on Government", 1840

Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2012, 10:28:31 PM »
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Back up a second, please.

When did DreamerTatum get mausoleumed?  I hadn't seen this primitive around for a bit, but just naturally assumed the primitive was on vacation or needed a rest from the internet or something.

Wasn't he?  Maybe I just assumed since he hadn't been around.
“Sometimes the curses of the godless sound better than the hallelujahs of the pious.”

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Offline franksolich

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2012, 10:31:35 PM »
Wasn't he?  Maybe I just assumed since he hadn't been around.

Hmmmm.

I wonder if anybody knows.
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Offline Maxiest

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2012, 10:53:33 PM »
Quote
Taverner (47,918 posts)   Tue Dec 20, 2011, 04:12 PM

Would I resort to violence? Never - I just don't see the point.

So this is one thing I just don't get about the ultra super duper DUmmie lib.  So if someone was raping your wife, harming your children, or trying to harm you... you wouldn't resort to violence?

I have to believe Michael Savage when he says liberalism is a mental disorder, because I can't explain it any other way.

And for the record... Us "Macho Conservatives" just don't go around punching people poor people poor black people in the face.
"The society that puts equality before freedom will end up with neither; the society that puts freedom before equality will end up with a great measure of both."

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Offline Charles Henrickson

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2012, 11:03:01 PM »
there was only one single vote separating the two second-place primitives from the top primitive.

I'm predicting BanTheGOP for 2a, and Nadin a repeat winner in grabbing the brass ring. And I hope Nads does win it. She has worked hard at her craft and deserves it. Although I thought The Bullies stood out this year as a potential collective Top DUmmie, even they achieved their prominence only though picking on Nadin. So theirs is a kind of reflected glory.

Now as to the Rob, I think Nadin may claim that prize, as well. However, I myself voted for the ever-witty SidDithers, one of Nadin's main tormenters.

franksolich, who’s 6’3”. . . .

Hey, we're the same height, frank! And, as I recall from somewhere, possibly about the same age, maybe even close to sharing the same birthday.
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2012, 11:04:33 PM »
Congratulations Taverner!  :cheersmate:

Just like Aleistair Crowely your years and years of drug abuse have merited you something!
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Offline Jasonw560

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2012, 11:16:42 PM »
I didn't vote, but the primitive who makes me laugh the most is zappaman.
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Offline Charles Henrickson

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2012, 11:24:26 PM »
I didn't vote, but the primitive who makes me laugh the most is zappaman.

zappaman and SidDithers are two peas in a pod. Throw in pintobean, and it's a pod full of Nads's bullies!
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2012, 12:52:47 AM »
Quote
morphine was easier to kick than smoking. I have no desire for morphine, but I would love a smoke.

In this case, DUmmy Taverner may be telling the truth, since he switched from morphine (DUmmy Warpy's drug of choice) to heroin.

And whatever he smokes, iti's unlikely to be tobacco.

(I wonder why, in all his pictures, DUmmy Taverner always appears to be recovering from a beating.)


Offline formerlurker

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2012, 04:55:05 AM »
Atman and Nadin I think.

This is a pic of Tav as a skinhead:



what a badass

Way to go, Tav!!!

That looks like prisoner or a janitor's uniform.


Offline Skul

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2012, 05:46:23 AM »
My goodness, looks like tavernturd works in a box.
Probably one of those phonebank telemarketers.
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2012, 08:01:33 AM »
Nadin and BanTheGOP.

My guesses too. Ban is an crackpot nutcase douche. He seems to have really plunged off the deepen in recent years. Funny that considering their liberal savior is at the helm but whatever.

Offline Randy

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2012, 09:09:15 AM »
Ban for 2a. The Bullies for the Rob and Nads for #1
BUT, that said I could easily see the Rob and #1 swapping positions.

Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2012, 02:32:46 PM »
Well congrats Taverner. Better luck next year for top dummie.

Now do us all a favor and OD.
Living in the Dummies minds rent free since 2009!

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Offline Tucker

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Re: 2012: Top DUmmie #02-b
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2012, 02:39:22 PM »
Congratulations Taverner!

Always a bridesmaid and never a bride.
Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.