Author Topic: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016  (Read 34795 times)

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Offline franksolich

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campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« on: December 04, 2016, 06:32:39 AM »

Greetings.

This thread is for campaigning on behalf of one’s favorite candidates for the Top DUmmies of 2016, and will remain open for the next ten days, until voting ends circa suppertime Wednesday December 14.

One is utterly free to divulge how one’s voting, but this is NOT a voting thread; voting is done only by secret ballot. 

This is because voting on a thread gives lurking primitives at least a vague idea whether they’re going to win or not, and once they decide they’re not going to win, they quit coming over here to check.

They’re selfish self-absorbed narcissists, the primitives are; interested only in their own squalid petty selves, and not in the fates of any of their co-primitives.

This defeats one of the principal purposes of the DUmpter, that of illuminating the primitives so that they may become better people.  So anything that compels them to come over here and read, is a worthy public service, a noble endeavor.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Anyone is eligible to vote.  This includes bona fide members and primitives masquerading as decent and civilized people.  However, franksolich has conceded to Mr. Wiggum, who counts the votes, the prerogative to determine whether or not a voter is legit; it’s all his call, and I stand firmly behind him whatever calls he makes.

One votes by sending Mr. Wiggum a personal message here (obviously an option available only to members of conservative cave), “Ralph Wiggum,” or by sending him an e-mail at ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com 

Votes are utterly confidential; Mr. Wiggum shares that information with no one, not even his grandmother.  And because franksolich trusts him, I myself don’t even bother asking.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The ballot is printed separately, at the appropriate time following this introduction.  The appropriate time is sometime later today; I’m not sure exactly when.

There are fourteen awards given out, of which votes are solicited for eleven; one each to the Top Ten DUmmies of 2017 and the William Rivers Pitt, the “Bill,” for the most memorable primitive, dead or alive, current or not, these past fifteen years.

(In previous years, the “Bill” was the “Willy,’ but its nickname was changed after franksolich learned that Mama Raven had explicitly taught her darling little boy to disregard “Bill” because it was a “common” name, whereas “Will” was haute couture, upper class.

(Well my my, isn’t that special.  The problem being, there’s nothing classy or good taste about drunken Bill, and primitives need to be called what they really are, not what they suppose they are.)


The other three awards include the Ralphie, the winner determined solely by Mr. Wiggum, the franksolich for the primitive determined solely by yours truly who should’ve been in the Top Ten, but wasn’t, and a special award for this year only whose name and purpose hasn’t been decided upon yet; the winner of this one being determined solely by Skins.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When voting for one’s top ten, one is asked to “rank” his or her top five primitives in descending order, the most important one first. 

This is so that Mr. Wiggum may more easily “weigh” the votes, giving 6 votes to one’s first choice, 5 votes to one’s second choice, 4 votes to one’s third choice, 3 votes to one’s fourth choice, 2 votes to one’s fifth choice…..and then 1 vote to each of the bottom five primitives of one’s top ten.

Because of there are razor-thin races determined by a single vote, PLEASE rank them (the top five choices) and PLEASE vote for 10, not any lesser number.
apres moi, le deluge

Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2016, 10:06:00 AM »
for the William Rivers Pitt, the "Bill," for the most memorable primitive the past 15 years [vote for one]:

ben burch, Fat Che, Fister
cali, the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive
California Peggy, the poetess laureatess of Skins's island
mopinko, Big Mo
NYC_SKP, Skippy

SidDithers, the Nemesis of nadin
Stinky the Clown, the sparkling old dude
TheMagistrate
walldude
Zephyr

for the Top Ten DUmmies of 2016 [vote for five, ranking them, and then vote for five more, merely listing them]:

BainsBane, Jugs, head horsewoman of the Four Horsewomen of the Femapocalypse
boston bean, one of the Four Horsewomen of the Femapocalypse
bravenak
Buzz Clik
ColesCountyDem, the big guy's best pal

Cyrano
demtenjeep, Pamela, she of the runny bowels
diabeticman and his inflatable wife
dixiegrrrrl
DFW, Attila Marc the Hun, the pompous American expatriate in Germany

dixiegrrrrl
EffieBlack
fizzgig, thunderthighs
flamin lib
Gothmog, the Texas pyramid

Graham4Anything, from DU Jr.
Hoyt
JeffersonsGhost, the maestro of edits
jodymarie aimee
JudiLynn, the head Yugoista of the late Chavez apologists

KamaAina, the white dude masquerading as an Oriental girl, although no one knows why
Ken Burch, the bearded slob up in Alaska
kentuck, who doesn't appear especially bright
KingCharlemagne
kpete, the rich bitch

La Lioness Pryianka, the insufferable Brahmin
LadyFreedomReturns, Amber
LaydeeBug
LetMyPeopleVote from DU Jr.
LynneSin

malaise, cricketeer Christine, part of the 1% down there in Jamaica
MannyGoldstein
MineralMan, Minnesota Moses
MrScorpio, Lamond, Mrs Corpio
NanceGreggs, widder [as in “widow”] Nan

NuclearDem the child molester, NOT to be confused with Nuclear Unicorn
Omaha Steve, the big guy from Bellevue
PCIntern, the story-telling dentist in Philadelphia
philoslayer
pnwmom

randyS1
retrowire
Scuba
Secular Motion
Skinner, Elad, and EarlG (the three as a single group)

Skittles
sheshe2
Stone Space
Strange Story on Skins's island; Strange Luck on DU Jr.
Sunshine evolver

TheMastersNemesis, ol' hypertensive Bob
Tobin S., the Tobe, Guatama Toby the overall-wearing Buddha
trueblue2007
woodsprite
Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin
apres moi, le deluge

Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2016, 10:28:40 AM »
You know, I am having serious problems, really serious problems, and it’s happening only here on conservativecave, nowhere else on the internet.  There is something here consuming vast amounts of memory, and I have no idea what it is. 

Please refer to the computer forum; it’s definitely hindering my posting here (and nowhere else).  And to top it off, I recently got a message about some sort of “certificate” not being in order; I have no idea what to make of that.

Anyway, as it’s going to be a hassle posting this, as it’d been a laborious time-consuming hassle posting the first two comments on this thread, an example of how to cast a ballot, taken from a personal message being sent to Mr. Wiggum if it can get done:

for the Bill:
ben burch, Fat Che

for the top five of the Top Ten, in order:
TheMastersNemesis, ol’ hypertensive Bob
malaise, the cranky old bitch part of the 1% down in Jamaica
DFW, Attila Marc the Hun, the pompous expatriate American in Germany
MrScorpio, Lamond, MrsCorpio
Omaha Steve, the big guy in Bellevue who’s boringly terminal

For the bottom half of the Top Ten, in no particular order:
Cyrano, Cryano, the Oscar Wilde of DUmmieland
Ken Burch, the bearded slob up in Alaska
kentuck
MineralMan, the Minnesota Moses
NanceGreggs, widder [as in “widow”] Nan
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2016, 11:41:56 AM »
A gentle reminder for all.

Please vote for 10 DUmmies total, in order.  The votes are weighted based on how highly one ranks them.  The down ballot votes contribute to the overall total.

Already receiving votes, and the predictable spam from butthurt DUmmies.  Feel free to vote here via private message or drop me an email at:

ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2016, 01:12:50 PM »
Already receiving votes, and the predictable spam from butthurt DUmmies. 

If any of them are entertaining enough to post here, please do.

Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2016, 03:13:37 PM »
If any of them are entertaining enough to post here, please do.
Of course.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2016, 03:15:39 PM »
If any of them are entertaining enough to post here, please do.
And speaking of which, DUmmies themselves are absolutely allowed to vote.  I've received dozens from them (anonymously) via e-mail over the years.  It is a representative republic, so therefore their votes will count.
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Offline Adam Wood

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2016, 10:21:47 PM »
Anyone is eligible to vote.  This includes bona fide members and primitives masquerading as decent and civilized people.  However, franksolich has conceded to Mr. Wiggum, who counts the votes, the prerogative to determine whether or not a voter is legit; it’s all his call, and I stand firmly behind him whatever calls he makes.
I can't hep but wonder, then, if dead DUmmies can cast multiple ballots for themselves.  You know, "voting integrity" and all of that....



On a more serious note: may I "split" my ballot?  In other words, may I go ahead and vote now for my choice for The Bill, and then come back later when I have figured out the top ten?

Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2016, 06:06:04 AM »
On a more serious note: may I "split" my ballot?  In other words, may I go ahead and vote now for my choice for The Bill, and then come back later when I have figured out the top ten?

Yes, of course you may.

Also, after one's voted but changed his mind, one can change his vote up until the time the polls close on December 14, just so it's adequately explained (that one's changing one's vote) to Mr. Wiggum, no more than that.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2016, 06:13:51 AM »
I'm gonna do a bit of campaigning here, on behalf of Lamond.

It looks pretty likely bravenak's going to be in the top ten, but MrsCorpio, Lamond, is sort of iffy; he might, or might not, make it.

Despite that Lamond deserves the distinction of Top DUmmiehood based simply upon his jaw-dropping stupidity.

If one votes for bravenak, it makes sense to vote for Lamond too, given that he promised to find the Bernie bully who threatened her.  He's probably still sleuthing on it, even though if he'd condescended to be civil to franksolich and ask, he would've known a long time ago.

Too late now.  W-a-a-a-a-a-a-y too late. 

And besides, we're still waiting for him to "school" us after the elections, as he promised he would.  It's after the elections, and he hasn't shoved his ugly mug into our faces yet.  An honorable, principled, ethical person keeps his promises, or at least tries to.
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2016, 07:46:20 AM »
Walldude should get "The Bill". He is so noteworthy that his name has been verbalized and used in order to describe how DUmmies manage to get themselves fired after acting like DUmmies and running to the DUmp to post/brag about it.

As far as I know, only one other DUmmie has that honor-Nadin. She was a previous winner of "The Bill".
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2016, 10:09:23 AM »
I can't hep but wonder, then, if dead DUmmies can cast multiple ballots for themselves.  You know, "voting integrity" and all of that....



On a more serious note: may I "split" my ballot?  In other words, may I go ahead and vote now for my choice for The Bill, and then come back later when I have figured out the top ten?
If someone goes through the trouble of sending me multiple votes (which has never happened before), I'll likely catch it anyway.

Yes Adam, you may send your votes in separately.
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Offline Maverick1987

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2016, 10:42:43 AM »
Quote
franksolich

Re: nominating thread for Top DUmmies of 2016

« Reply #82 on: December 02, 2016, 04:54:16 PM »

Fresh new dirt on primitives in the running for Top DUmmies of 2016.

If one goes over there and looks, please leave a "high five" for those adding to our treasury of primitive details and lore.

comment 3387, but probably it'd be good to check all of the preceding page, and this whole page:
http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=81827.3375

Akin to Bernie Bullies, I may be sitting out the DOTY election this year in protest. I won't go into too much detail about the crying tantrum I just threw from not being able to see behind the curtain here, but it was epic. The system here at CC is post-ist[ (and maybe racist).

You 1,000+ posters need to check your privilege  :-)

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Offline TendiesForBreakfast

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2016, 05:31:17 PM »
cali, for the Bill.


DOTY Ranked
bravenak, the racist Jew-hater

malaise, the Castro lover

boston bean, the angry feminist

Buzz Clik, the SJW retard

Mr "Black Liberation" Scorpio

DOTY Unranked - The Big Basket of Retards
Graham4Anything, "Rosie O'Donnell, America's sweetheart"

JeffersonsGhost, the king of WTF

sheshe2

Strange Luck.  Doubt he's the same as TSS on DU.  TSS was more of a fedora'd dudebro who trolled DU.  Strange Luck is a retard who invokes false equivalences to anything negative about regressives or Muslims.

Ol' Hoppin' Bob


I also have it on good authority that Gothmog and LetMyPeopleVote are the same person.  Free up a space for a true dumbass like Sabrina.

Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2016, 10:47:58 PM »
I also have it on good authority that Gothmog and LetMyPeopleVote are the same person.

Your good authority's good; they're both one and the same people, the Texas pyramid.

Thank you!
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2016, 12:20:30 PM »
You 1,000+ posters need to check your privilege  :-)

#AllPostersMatter

Hey, if I can get to 1000+ posts without getting booted, anyone can.  I'd like to thank all of the crappy "photoshops", stupid cartoons, and other dumb crap I've posted over the years that got me here.  :-)

Offline BattleHymn

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2016, 12:22:36 PM »
If you've got most of your DOTY ballot filled out, and you don't have kentuck on there, I strongly encourage a look-see at the last few threads rowed over (and some not) that this clown has posted.  I'm usually not a fan of kentuck's brand of stupidity, but he's really taken it up a notch or three since the Trumpocalypse. 

Offline Karin

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2016, 02:17:39 PM »
I agree, Battlehymn.  We got to witness in real time, someone's brains leaking out of their ear.  Every post was more stupid than the last.  A worthy candidate.   I think the last one had literally all of the sentences ending with his trademark question mark.  I recall laughing out loud. 

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2016, 04:30:52 PM »
Have to throw support behind Kentuck, and Ol' Hopalong Bob.  Bob is definitely going to be my Number One.
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

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Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #19 on: December 06, 2016, 06:02:18 PM »
Have to throw support behind Kentuck, and Ol' Hopalong Bob.  Bob is definitely going to be my Number One.

Well now, if one's going to vote on the basis of stupid, I surely hope one doesn't forget one of my favorite candidates, Lamond.  He shines, really shines, at "stupid."
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #20 on: December 07, 2016, 07:41:40 AM »
Well now, if one's going to vote on the basis of stupid, I surely hope one doesn't forget one of my favorite candidates, Lamond.  He shines, really shines, at "stupid."

But Lamond's particular brand of stupid was lacking in volume for me.  I wrote out my Top 10 somewhere, and can't remember what the deuce I did with it. :thatsright:
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline Tess Anderson

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2016, 05:01:51 PM »
having a tough time with the top ten - TMN, Mo, Dorkio, Malaise, OS, Goth will all certainly make the cut I think.


Strange Luck.  Doubt he's the same as TSS on DU.  TSS was more of a fedora'd dudebro who trolled DU.  Strange Luck is a retard who invokes false equivalences to anything negative about regressives or Muslims.


I also have it on good authority that Gothmog and LetMyPeopleVote are the same person.  Free up a space for a true dumbass like Sabrina.

Kyle is Gothmog/LetMyPeopleVote but Strange Luck/The Straight Story are one and the same:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:FzCz7muN0lAJ:www.discussionist.com/1016189028+&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

Quote
Posted by: BlueStateSaint

Have to throw support behind Kentuck, and Ol' Hopalong Bob.  Bob is definitely going to be my Number One.

they are similar in age, location, both married to moonbat wives with no children (whew) but Bob is marginally more intelligent than Ken is, although he has one foot and Ken still has two.

Offline franksolich

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2016, 09:38:58 AM »
You know, it's too early to start thinking about Top DUmmies of 2017, especially as this contest isn't over yet, but I suspect there's already arising a solid blue-chip contender for the Top DUmmie next year, the lonestarnut primitive.

She was active on Skins's island during the Bush administration, but then receded, and only recently's reawakened.  I dunno what her problem is, other than it looks as if she's perpetually on the rag, never off it.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #23 on: December 08, 2016, 09:55:32 PM »
You know, it's too early to start thinking about Top DUmmies of 2017, especially as this contest isn't over yet, but I suspect there's already arising a solid blue-chip contender for the Top DUmmie next year, the lonestarnut primitive.

She was active on Skins's island during the Bush administration, but then receded, and only recently's reawakened.  I dunno what her problem is, other than it looks as if she's perpetually on the rag, never off it.

It seems that whenever things start looking up, activity at the DUmp picks up.  Happiness in the rest of the country causes them to go batshit. 

I'm expecting a golden age to return at the DUmp.  Many who have swam away from Skin's Island will no doubt return.

Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: campaigning and voting thread for Top DUmmies of 2016
« Reply #24 on: December 08, 2016, 10:55:55 PM »
It gets tougher to vote for Top DUmmies.
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