Author Topic: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^  (Read 3496 times)

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Offline PatriotGame

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^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« on: January 12, 2008, 11:53:28 AM »
 VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES
 
 
 How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
 Marry It!
 
 What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
 A battery has a positive side.
 
 What are the three fastest means of communication?
 1) Internet
 2) Telephone
 3) Telawoman
 
 How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
 They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
 


**************************************************
 How do you p i s s off a female archaeologist??
 Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.
**************************************************
 
(I am going to hell for that one and for some reason my wife is carrying a frying pan around the house)

 How is a woman like a condom?
 Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your d i c k.
 
 What should you give a woman who has everything?
 A man to show her how to work it.
 
 Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
 Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
 
 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
 Put a nipple on it.
 
 Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
 Because they don't have balls to scratch.
 
 Why did God create woman ?
 To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
 
 Why do women fake orgasms ?
 Because they think men care.
 
 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
 Nothing, she's been told twice already.
 
 If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you! , what h ave you done wrong?
 Made her chain too long
 
 How many men does it take to open a beer?
 None. It should be opened when she brings it.
 
 
 Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
 Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
 
 
 Why do women have smaller feet than men?
 It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
 
 How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
 When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
 
 
 How do you fix a woman's watch?
 You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
 
 
 Why do men pass gas more than women?
 Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
 
 
 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
 The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
 
 
 What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
 A woman who won't do what she's told
 
 
 I married a Miss Right.
 I just didn't know her first name was Always.
 
 
 Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
 It's called a Wedding Cake.
 
 
 Why do men die before their wives?
 They want to.
 
 
 Women will never be equal to men...
 until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
 
 In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
 Then God created Man and rested.
 Then God created Woman.
 Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and if you dare to a few good women who know the truth.
           ►☼Liberals Are THE Root of ALL Evil!☼◄

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2008, 12:02:56 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline jtyangel

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2008, 12:05:34 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:

You earned it, baby..you earned it :-* :-)

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2008, 12:07:16 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:

You earned it, baby..you earned it :-* :-)

I suppose I did.  :-)
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline PatriotGame

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2008, 12:18:35 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:

You paid your dues and you shall go down in history as THE most revered and imitated mod in the history of this boards 10 days of existence.  :bow:
           ►☼Liberals Are THE Root of ALL Evil!☼◄

Offline jtyangel

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2008, 12:19:52 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:

You paid your dues and you shall go down in history as THE most revered and imitated mod in the history of this boards 10 days of existence.  :bow:

LOL...

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2008, 12:36:27 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:

You paid your dues and you shall go down in history as THE most revered and imitated mod in the history of this boards 10 days of existence.  :bow:

You, sir, are hereby appointed Pres of Schadie's fan club.... so far 1 member strong.  :-)
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline Chris_

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2008, 12:38:19 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:
Just light up a cigarette and enjoy it.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: ^^ MAN JOKES ^^
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2008, 01:28:10 PM »
*Schadie shakes head wondering what she ever did to deserve this forum*.....  :mental:  :lmao:
Just light up a cigarette and enjoy it.


 :tongue:
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€