mid-year preview: the top primitives of 2011

[franksolich]

In about five and a half months hence, this thread is going to be attached to the official nomination thread for the top primitives of 2011, as a reminder.

A lot of things happen on Skins's island the first two-thirds of the year, but when it comes time for nominations and voting, alas the tendency is to nominate and vote for the primitives most recently in the memory, while in actual life, there's been plenty of primitives who came on strong the front part of the year, but then faded near the back part.

One thinks, for example, of the 1986 Buick, who in May 2010 got the Bostonian Drunkard (temporarily) mausoleumed, probably the biggest event on Skins's island for the whole entire year (the mid-term elections excepted, as they're a special case).  That was a stupendous feat; no primitive had ever accomplished that before.

But alas by the time Thanksgiving 2010 rolled around, whatever happened in May had diminished in the memory, and much to my own surprise, the 1986 Buick, who had been the number two Top Primitive of 2009, had fallen to the number four Top Primitive of 2010.

I'm not saying the 1986 Buick should've been the Top Primitive of 2010--I rather think the Die alte Sau had deserved that distinction years before, and it was high time she got it--but surely the 1986 Buick shouldn't've dropped in the voting.

So this is everyone's opportunity--remember, this will be attached to the Official Nomination Thread coming out Thanksgiving Eve, November 23--to right now comment upon primitives they found most utterly fascinating this front half of the year, but which they might forget by that long-away Thanksgiving Eve.

At the moment, I think the nadinostradamus primitive needs marked down; she came out strong early in the year, but she's been fading away for some time now, and it is possible some have already forgotten her.  My own opinion is that the nadinostradamus primitive hasn't done anything--yet--to warrant Top Primitive of 2011, but when the whole year is summed up, surely she deserves to be in the top ten, somewhere (she was a mere runner-up last year).

[Skul]

CalPig
and
Dorthy's alter ego in Kansas

[Tucker]

My front runner get an early lunch, minus mushrooms.

[formerlurker]

At the moment, I think the nadinostradamus primitive needs marked down; she came out strong early in the year, but she's been fading away for some time now, and it is possible some have already forgotten her.  My own opinion is that the nadinostradamus primitive hasn't done anything--yet--to warrant Top Primitive of 2011, but when the whole year is summed up, surely she deserves to be in the top ten, somewhere (she was a mere runner-up last year).

She is a tough one to beat, and I can't think of anyone who has topped her so far this year.

She is on a self-imposed break.  She'll be back.


 



I do have to state though that Pam has been making some noise again.   There is plenty of season left for Pam to get her ERA up.    She is not out of the running yet. 

[formerlurker]

CalPig

CalPig doesn't try however, she just "is."

Should we be considering posters who don't even vie for this prestigious award?   

[Skul]

CalPig doesn't try however, she just "is."

Should we be considering posters who don't even vie for this prestigious award?   

I rather think they're the perfect example of DUminesque behavior.
Nads is another.  We just need to see if she catches her second wind for the sprint to the finish.

[BannedFromDU]

That ****stick Dreamer Tatum gets my vote.

[GOBUCKS]

Well, in 2011 we're beginning to see a small Pedro Picasso renaissance. In 2010, he was just boring, not much better than Stimpy the catbox boy, but Pedro has started to flash that comical imbecilic arrogance that had earned him a spot as a leading moonbat in prior years.

DUmmy Taverner should move up this year as well.

I'm deeply saddened by the collapse of the CalPig. She hasn't groaned out any good orgasmic poetry in ages. I may start posting her classics again.

[AprilRazz]

Pammy is making a run for it again this year. I think the only one that can manage to out-stupid her this time is Beth.

[franksolich]

DUmmy Taverner should move up this year as well.

Yeah, Taverner's making a good run for it; if he keeps up his pace, he may make it into the top ten somewhere.

I dunno if Taverner's ever been honored before, even as a lowly runner-up.

[GOBUCKS]

Pammy is making a run for it again this year. I think the only one that can manage to out-stupid her this time is Beth.

Well, I had high hopes for poor, stupid Beth, but if she doesn't start following up on that foreclosure storyline she's off my list. It doesn't help that she and the rest of the vicious old crones have abandoned the cooking group.

Same deal with DUmmy grasswire. She started those really promising storylines on the pothead pie shop and her eviction from the former friend's bonus room up there in Wisconsin. Then she made a post out of the clear blue sky claiming to live in Oregon!

Now, we give these lunatics a lot of slack, loads of slack, understanding their lying isn't just pathological, it's genetic, but to skip from a pothead pie shop in the upper midwest to a charity hovel in the Pacific Northwest, without a word of explanation, is just too much.

[franksolich]

Well, I had high hopes for poor, stupid Beth, but if she doesn't start following up on that foreclosure storyline she's off my list. It doesn't help that she and the rest of the vicious old crones have abandoned the cooking group.

This will be--I can say this definitely--the first year since the Top Ten DUmmies got started in late 2005, that I will not be nominating or voting for Doug's stupid ex-wife.  I usually always voted her for the number one position, but of course she never got it.

Doug's stupid ex-wife is now to franksolich as if a girlfriend from high school who never got out of high school, no matter how old she got.  The world changes, we all move on, but some people stay stuck forever in high school.

So I'm not going to bother any more, unless God gives me a compelling reason to.

Same deal with DUmmy grasswire. She started those really promising storylines on the pothead pie shop and her eviction from the former friend's bonus room up there in Wisconsin. Then she made a post out of the clear blue sky claiming to live in Oregon!

All the more the reason to keep her in mind for the top primitives of 2011, I think.

I can't control what other people do, and I have only one vote, but I'm leaving Mrs. Alfred Packer, the hippywife primitive, alone.  She's better used as franksolich's literary muse than as a top primitive.

[FlippyDoo]

My money right now is on nadin. I'm really pulling for her to win. And yes...I admit her belief that she has knowledge about almost everything intrigues me.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she had already calculated all the percentages, studied the past contests, and knows exactly what she has to do to win. I expect her to lay low for a while in order to build back up her endurance then pounce sometime around October. She'll come around the final straight wide-open. Regurgitating knowledge like has not been seen the days of the lying mammary gland. It will be wonderful.

[franksolich]

Also, I don't think so much this year, but probably for sure next year, the 0bamaite Gestapo--as individual primitives--are going to dominate the Top Ten Primitives of 2012, when that's all over with.

I have no doubt there's going to be some major cataclysms during the campaign and election, and that the 0bamaite Gestapo won't be able to contain themselves.

The 0bamaite Gestapo, as a group, was name one of the Top Ten Primitives of 2010, but I suspect for 2012, they'll be individual primitives, perhaps as many as six or seven of them in the top ten.

[formerlurker]

My money right now is on nadin. I'm really pulling for her to win. And yes...I admit her belief that she has knowledge about almost everything intrigues me.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she had already calculated all the percentages, studied the past contests, and knows exactly what she has to do to win. I expect her to lay low for a while in order to build back up her endurance then pounce sometime around October. She'll come around the final straight wide-open. Regurgitating knowledge like has not been seen the days of the lying mammary gland. It will be wonderful.

She regroups and restocks on google?  anything is possible.   

[GOBUCKS]

Also, I don't think so much this year, but probably for sure next year, the 0bamaite Gestapo--as individual primitives--are going to dominate the Top Ten Primitives of 2012, when that's all over with.

I have no doubt there's going to be some major cataclysms during the campaign and election, and that the 0bamaite Gestapo won't be able to contain themselves.

The 0bamaite Gestapo, as a group, was name one of the Top Ten Primitives of 2010, but I suspect for 2012, they'll be individual primitives, perhaps as many as six or seven of them in the top ten.

The 0bama group is one of the subforums that is on the chopping block for the new improved DUmp.

And if nadin makes a stretch run for the title, it will be a remarkable accomplishment. She is... by nature... so overbearing, so condescending, so arrogant, and yes, so supercilious that even a group as dull-witted as the DUmp is insulted and outraged when she goes full-nadin. To win the Top DUmmy award, she will somehow have to give us a full dose of nutcase nadin, while controlling herself enough to avoid a tombstone. It will take a hell of a balancing act, and I don't think she can do it. It only took a couple of weeks in the deserted wasteland of OET before her vulgar plea to crazy Andrea for a tombstone.

[Skul]

GOBUCKS does have a point.
Taverntrash and Pedro do deserve to be recognised for their contribution to stupidity.

[seahorse513]

my vote is on Nadine or Bobo the Hobo, but time will tell

[BattleHymn]

my vote is on Nadine or Bobo the Hobo, but time will tell

I was a little worried about bobo for a couple months there.  I could have almost sworn some other hobo who was clearly less concerned about the plight of the homeless had moved into the buick, and was posting for her.

She seems to be back on track now, though. 

[miskie]

Personally, Im waiting for a late-summer/early fall discombobulation. I believe the antics will be spectacular once the primitives realize there is nothing short of a visit from Christ himself that will save Obama's lunch.

[Ptarmigan]

How about Nadin?