Thanksgiving Shock!!!

[RuralNc]

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100217411862

PA_jen (1,020 posts)


My thanksgiving shock.

Forgive me if this is the wrong place to post. Not sure where to put it and if you will allow me I need to vent and if anyone can give advice I would be grateful.

Little Background. My husband had 2 siblings both have died, and they have died within 3 years of one another. Hubby's youngest sibling passing was very fast unexpected. The sibling was early 30s. Some of you may be aware of the issues with hubby's other sibling's issues. Diabetic with kidney issue-on dialysis and letter we found out due to her abuse substance abuse (alcohol- she had been given the nickname by her co-workers- the functional alcoholic- she developed calcification of brain she was finally declare incompetent to make medical decisions. Hubby's father who tried to ignore the issues didn't want to get involved finally petition the courts for custody knowing Hubby was going to try. But she passed basically 10 months after that happened -early 40s.

Don't get me started about the incompetence and lack of treatment by the local hospital.

Anyways Hubby's father -after his mother-Hubby's grandmother pass got his will in order. His estate would be split between the 3 kids and the stepmother. Hubby as the oldest was named as co-executor with the mother-in-law. Now the family home was supposed to the kids after Stepmother either because unable to live in the house, she passed or decided she didn't want to live there. One of the siblings could either buy out the other two and live there or it would be sold, and sell would be divided between the 3 of them.
After the death of the first sibling the will changed to reflected 3 ways divide and house would go to 2 remaining children. Then when the other sibling because incompetent will it was changed to give her 10 percent of the estate (she was in a nursing home so it would go to her care and needs.) the rest would be divided between hubby and stepmother. In all understandings (and perhaps we had been wrong) it was understood hubby would get the house once stepmom wasn't there in the house.

Thursday I am upstairs with the Stepmom with thanksgiving dinner (The kitchen is quite small, and I've told Hubby if we moved in I would like to remodel the house to an open concept between the living room and kitchen. remodel the footprint of the kitchen a little. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but we just happened to be talking one day.) So, she is "struggling" to cut the turkey breast - mind you I don't eat turkey or chicken but I do cook for hubby and his family from time to time but not this year. - She cut the turkey breast vertically in half and was struggling to make the horizontally. I finally asked Do you want me to cut it.
So I am standing beside her with a knife in my hand cutting the breast and I just asked Had she and the father ever thought of opening up to the living room. Her answer "Well, we had over the years but in 30 years one of her grandchildren can decide what to do with it.
I almost drop the knife and the ****ing grin her face as I said but hubby is supposed to get the house. "Not in the latest will."

This woman for the pass 20 years (as long as I have been married to hubby) as whine and bitched that it was unfair, she wasn't getting the house. That it wasn't fair she wouldn't have anything to pass on to her grandchildren.) Hubby has said that his dad and her have gotten into fights about the house. (She is the second wife and moved into the house years after FIL bought it) My husband grew up in that house.

I was so stunned I couldn't think and all I could think was I need to tell my husband. I texted him whenever he was ready, we can go. We left within 30 minutes, and I told him. I asked if his dad had told him the will had been updated which he had been informed during or after all the updates. He said no but it is his father's decision which is correct, but I was angry as hell for my husband. After his parent's pass this house would be the last connection to his family in a sense, The least his father could have done was said look I've decided to give HER the house and here is why, but hubby is hearing this from me because SHE couldn't wait to gloat.

Yesterday morning Hubby got up and probably after time to process the information and he is now upset. He wants to wait for a time to ask his dad why this change he is also wondering what else was changed. Is he going to get less or anything? Did she get it all? I told hubby I know he is upset but when he goes to his dad be calm and explain how important the house was to him for sentimental reasons. He just said I know how I will approach his dad.

He hasn't talked to his dad yet, but should he wait for his dad to say something? Should he confront his dad letting him know SHE should wait to let us know she was getting the house.

I am thinking we should have a Lawyer at the ready in some way so that when Hubby's dad does pass (I pray it is 30 years from now -so he would be at 100. Keep in mind Hubby's dad is the first member of the family history to live pass 65 years -He is 71 now) and the will is finally read, and she starts contenting it we have back up ready.

Good lord. Im going to save everyone the the trouble of reading this nonsense.

DUmmy is mad because her husbands Step Mother may get everything when the Old Man passes away. Thats it.

Who the hell brings this up on Thanksgiving?

[FunkyZero]

Who the hell brings this up on Thanksgiving?

Self-serving DUmmies, that's who.
I'm just shocked that Trump wasn't somehow to blame in this imbeciles story

[Mary Ann]

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100217411862

Good lord. Im going to save everyone the the trouble of reading this nonsense.

DUmmy is mad because her husbands Step Mother may get everything when the Old Man passes away. Thats it.

Who the hell brings this up on Thanksgiving?

You should have put your comment first. I didn't see it until AFTER I had navigated through that word salad.

[DefiantSix]

PA_jen (1,020 posts)


My thanksgiving shock.

Forgive me if this is the wrong place to post. Not sure where to put it and if you will allow me I need to vent and if anyone can give advice I would be grateful.

Little Background...
 

[USA4ME]

Bet the house wouldn't be so sentimental to him if it was on the verge of being condemned or had huge tax liens levied against it. Obviously, this is about money. It always is with greedy little liberals.

.

[SVPete]

1. The stepmother and Dad had been married for some 30 years (detail in the story).

2. Sounds like neither the posting DU-member nor hubby had better than a gritting-their-teeth relationship with the stepmother. I wonder if giving the stepmother was to protect her from being kicked out of the house after Dad died.

3. I suspect the "whining and bitching" was bilateral, if not primarily on the part of the DU member and hubby, and Dad tired of it.

[ABC-2]

DUmmy is mad because her husbands Step Mother may get everything when the Old Man passes away. Thats it.

Who the hell brings this up on Thanksgiving?

Thanks much RuralNC ...

Was going to post TLTR for all of the above verbiage!   

To answer your question?  Three guesses, & the first two don't count!   Such a disgusting, grasping, bitch of a woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jukin]

I have been executor for several people after their passing. et me tell you it is a bitch of a job. The heirs are usually impatient assholes. Nobody understands the legal hurdles, regulations, and timing. If the estate is anything and the will is not all specific bequests, there is a lot of time needed to get it done.

Also I have never heard of a "co-executor." I can only imagine that would cause 100 times the problems by not having a single authority. Sooooooooo that part of the fable Ima gonna throw out the bullshit flag on.

[RuralNc]

I have been executor for several people after their passing. et me tell you it is a bitch of a job. The heirs are usually impatient assholes. Nobody understands the legal hurdles, regulations, and timing. If the estate is anything and the will is not all specific bequests, there is a lot of time needed to get it done.

Also I have never heard of a "co-executor." I can only imagine that would cause 100 times the problems by not having a single authority. Sooooooooo that part of the fable Ima gonna throw out the bullshit flag on.

As well. My brother and I were both listed as Executors for our parents estate.

My brother and I get along just dandy, and we split everything 50/50. Easy peasy.

But dealing with all of it, and getting everything finalized, which took about 2 years, is something I care not to repeat.

[ADsOutburst]

My dad's will seemed simple enough; everything went to my mother. And yet, it still took an inordinate amount of time to get sorted out.

[SVPete]

Not doing an ad for trusts, but with my Dad, I'm an "only" and he had no sibles, so his estate was quick. My MIL also had a trust, but her assets were not many, and despite a somewhat grasping sible, it was fairly quick for my wife, who was POA, etc. (not sure if a trust has an executor). Probate courts and greedy relatives are what make settling estates slow and unpleasant (during a time of mourning ).

[Dblhaul]

When my father passed, he left all he had to his seven children equally. He had chosen one of us to control the estate. My sibling did that and everything was handled with complete trust and love. The only issue was with my one sibling that is a Dummie, they felt they were owed more. This was quickly shut down.
When I pass I hope my wishes are respected and followed thru, spread my ashes on my favorite fishing river.

[YupItsMe]

Self-serving DUmmies, that's who.
I'm just shocked that Trump wasn't somehow to blame in this imbeciles story

 I think at this point the fact that it's Trump's fault is automatically implied.