A very timely oldie but goodie

[Mary Ann]

https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=120115.msg1448483#msg1448483

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10142313976#post1

BigmanPigman (26,286 posts)

1. My plan to protect my little first graders in my classroom,

which had doors that could only be locked/unlocked from the OUTSIDE, was to get the fire extinguisher, knock the shooter on the head, tell my students to run and tie him up with a jump rope then call the office. After that I would boil water in my microwave to scald his face before help came. I came up with this idea after the Virginia Tech shootings. It's sooooooooooooooo much fun being an over worked, over educated and underpaid and disrespected teacher in the 2000s.

[CollectivismMustDie]

Now that's a scary thought.

Primitives who can't tell the difference between men and women...teaching kids.

[67 Rover]

BigmanPigman (26,286 posts)

1. My plan to protect my little first graders in my classroom,

which had doors that could only be locked/unlocked from the OUTSIDE, was to get the fire extinguisher, knock the shooter on the head, tell my students to run and tie him up with a jump rope then call the office. After that I would boil water in my microwave to scald his face before help came. I came up with this idea after the Virginia Tech shootings. It's sooooooooooooooo much fun being an over worked, over educated and underpaid and disrespected teacher in the 2000s.

Boil water in a microwave.  Four minutes later and you are ready for action. 

I suspect Pigman would be using that time to teabag the perp to really scar him for life.

[ADsOutburst]

1. My plan to protect my little first graders in my classroom,

which had doors that could only be locked/unlocked from the OUTSIDE, was to get the fire extinguisher, knock the shooter on the head, tell my students to run and tie him up with a jump rope then call the office. After that I would boil water in my microwave to scald his face before help came. I came up with this idea after the Virginia Tech shootings. It's sooooooooooooooo much fun being an over worked, over educated and underpaid and disrespected teacher in the 2000s.

Bash the attacker with a blunt object, subdue them, and while they're restrained, pour scalding hot water on them?

And you don't want to just arm teachers because...?

[FiddyBeowulf]

1. My plan to protect my little first graders in my classroom,

which had doors that could only be locked/unlocked from the OUTSIDE, was to get the fire extinguisher, knock the shooter on the head, tell my students to run and tie him up with a jump rope then call the office. After that I would boil water in my microwave to scald his face before help came.

So, torture then?

[67 Rover]

Tie them up with a jump rope or romper stomper and then use the magic mirror to summon the police.

[enslaved1]

My plan if someone actually comes into my building and gets to my room involves a short metal support bar that broke off a desk and has been in a file drawer (to keep it's sharp edges away from students of course)     On a good day, my plans for anyone who actually attacks my school are not pretty.  Right now, they are even uglier, due to recent events and over-all end of the year pains in the backside. 

Back to the bouncy, first graders are not going to be following instructions like "tie that guy up" in a situation like that.  They are going to be frozen or screaming, just like my big bad wannabe thug middle schoolers.  The boiling water in the microwave idea shows bacon put no actual thought into this "plan".  Fire extinguishers do make excellent blunt objects, just repeat until the perp's head is a pile of pink jello. 

[CollectivismMustDie]

My plan if someone actually comes into my building and gets to my room involves a short metal support bar that broke off a desk and has been in a file drawer (to keep it's sharp edges away from students of course)     On a good day, my plans for anyone who actually attacks my school are not pretty.  Right now, they are even uglier, due to recent events and over-all end of the year pains in the backside. 

Back to the bouncy, first graders are not going to be following instructions like "tie that guy up" in a situation like that.  They are going to be frozen or screaming, just like my big bad wannabe thug middle schoolers.  The boiling water in the microwave idea shows bacon put no actual thought into this "plan".  Fire extinguishers do make excellent blunt objects, just repeat until the perp's head is a pile of pink jello.

Beat them until they look like womens marchers??

 

[67 Rover]

My plan if someone actually comes into my building and gets to my room involves a short metal support bar that broke off a desk and has been in a file drawer (to keep it's sharp edges away from students of course)     On a good day, my plans for anyone who actually attacks my school are not pretty.  Right now, they are even uglier, due to recent events and over-all end of the year pains in the backside. 

Back to the bouncy, first graders are not going to be following instructions like "tie that guy up" in a situation like that. They are going to be frozen or screaming, just like my big bad wannabe thug middle schoolers.  The boiling water in the microwave idea shows bacon put no actual thought into this "plan".  Fire extinguishers do make excellent blunt objects, just repeat until the perp's head is a pile of pink jello.

Can you imagine the first graders tying the perp up!

 The first grader would be OK Pigman working on it now.

Hmmm lets see "The rabbit comes out of the hole, goes around the tree, sees a fox and dives back into the hole, wait does the rabbit go around the tree again?" 

[3rd-try]

BigmanPigman (26,286 posts)

1. My plan to protect my little first graders in my classroom,

which had doors that could only be locked/unlocked from the OUTSIDE, was to get the fire extinguisher, knock the shooter on the head,

Ah, excuse me Mr. Shooter person but would you mind coming over here and turning your back to me so I can knock you in the head with my fire extinguisher?

tell my students to run and tie him up with a jump rope then call the office.

What could go wrong with that part of the plan

After that I would boil water in my microwave to scald his face before help came.

In front of your 1st graders? We appreciate your sensitivity

It's sooooooooooooooo much fun being an over worked

you're not

,

over educated and underpaid

With all of that excess education you could get a better job. (Warning: most other places work 12 months a year.)

and disrespected teacher in the 2000s.

You, disrespected? How could that be ?!

[CollectivismMustDie]

BigmanPigman (26,286 posts)

With all of that excess education you could get a better job. (Warning: most other places work 12 months a year.)

Uhh...Degrees in Ethnic Studies and The History of Pansexual 3d Art might not be as good for the career as the primitive expected.

[DefiantSix]

So, torture then?

Sure as hell SOUNDS like the peter puffer is PREMEDITATING an assault that goes WAAAY beyond the bounds of self defense.

Hell, involving the chilluns like he's talking about, any half decent deputy DA worth their hangover could make some "Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor" or similar charges stick pretty solid as well.