The Freudian Slip ....

[TandT]

Two guys were having a beer. One tells the other he had a Freudian Slip the other day. His friend asks "What's that?"

"It's when you mean to say one thing, but you're thinking something else and you say that instead. See, I was at the airline ticket counter and I meant to ask the ticket lady for two tickets to Pittsburgh, but I couldn't stop staring at her HUGE knockers and instead I said 'Two pickets to Tittsburgh'."

His buddy says, "Oh yeah, that's happened to me too. Yesterday I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to ask her to pass the eggs, but instead I said 'You bloodsucking bitch, you've ruined my ****ing life!'"

[Eupher]

Ah, spoonerisms:

Spoonerisms - where you accidentally, or purposefully, mix up the first letter of different words to create a new and amusing phrase.

fighting a liar
lighting a fire

you hissed my mystery lecture
you missed my history lecture

searched every crook and nanny
searched every nook and cranny

cattle ships and bruisers
battle ships and cruisers

nosey little crook
cosy little nook

a blushing crow
a crushing blow

Kinquering Congs their titles take
Conquering Kings their titles take (announcing hymn in chapel)

tons of soil
sons of toil

let us drink to the queer old Dean
let us drink to the dear old Queen

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