gigantic primitive has half a mind (non-update 02-20)

[franksolich]

http://drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=11960&sid=c1c41d4b4321b0348df926df673e011f&start=630

Oh my.

The gigantic primitive, the #08 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009 under his name on Skins's island, the "Systematic Chaos" primitive:

Ege Bamyasi
February 6, 2010

I just had a really off couple of days because of stress over a dying computer. If it were just the computer being defective, it wouldn't be so bad because it's still under the Apple Care warranty. What sucks about it is that it will be in for service during paid time off Jeanette has taken so that we could spend four days together exploring the new expansion coming out for our favorite online game, EverQuest 2.

If you pre-ordered the expansion from a retailer like GameStop, then you get to enter the CD keys and access the content a week earlier than everyone else. It was going to be a really fun time for us. Now, not so much because the stupid thing is so borked with hardware faults that it's almost impossible to get Leopard to install fresh, and completely impossible to get Boot Camp to partition the hard drive to install any version of Windows. Enough with the technical talk, before I go into yet another tizzy. Ugh.

So, stress over something which in reality is just plain petty drove me to throw my discipline to the wind and binge on Cheetos and chocolate and soy ice cream over a two day period. I guess the old me needs another mental thrashing with the aluminum baseball bat of common sense....

Well, it's over and done. No more junk to be pilfered out of Joe's stash, or brought home from the nearby supermarket ("Please, honey, just this once?" he says, with puppy dog eyes up to Warp Factor 7....). No more excuses and no more backsliding. I went ahead and paid my penance today in spades with my most hardcore exercise session yet.

Ever since I watched this season's debut of The Biggest Loser, I've wondered if I had in me to do what the contestants on the show did for their first challenge on opening day. For those who didn't watch, each team of two contestants had to ride bicycles hooked up to distance tracking equipment on the stage, and each team together had to complete a full 26.1 mile marathon. If one member did more than their 13.1 mile share and one did less, that was fine; all that mattered was that each team completed a total of 26.1 miles.

The last two teams to not finish had to then go home for a month and work out away from the ranch. The most recent episode had those two straggling teams come back, and the better losers of the two teams got to come back to the ranch with two weeks' guaranteed immunity. The team which won consisted of a middle-aged gentleman who was close to 400 lbs. and his young (and pretty!) daughter.

Especially given my close to 2,000 calories of food indiscretions, I knew it was time to stop b.s.-ing around and walk the walk (bike the bike?) rather than just talking the talk. So, just now I put on some upbeat 80s music from Talk Talk, one of my favorite bands of the era, and blocked everything out of my mind until the distance counter on the recumbent showed 13.1 "miles".

I have recently increased the tension on the recumbent from setting 3 to setting 4 (out of 8 ), making the pedaling just a bit challenging, sort of like riding a bicycle on level ground into a light breeze, or a slight but unending incline with no breeze. I wanted to finish the 13.1 miles in an hour, and ended up posting a very nice finish in 51:32, for an average speed of 15.25 mph.

According to the BodyBugg, here's what my calorie burn for that looks like:

after which a pretty chart

It sure is sweet to have the Bugg telling me I'm burning off 12 calories per minute like some sort of human furnace!!

I've been sitting here recovering long enough to report that there is no pain after that, and I feel whipped but otherwise great!

Right now, I have half a mind (according to Jeanette I usually have far less than half a mind, so this must be an improvement....) to try and finish at least some of the other half of my marathon later today. This was my first new taste of the endorphin highs I used to get when I did daily recumbent exercise back in '03 before the plantar fasciitis from Hell drove me to give up. At least the recumbent is non-impact, so I can't resurrect that problem!

Either way, I'll post later on with my final calorie burn for the day. Oh yeah, and Amy -- otherwise known here as daffodil is stopping by with some excess beans that she bought in bulk and couldn't make use of. It'll be nice to say hello to her in person again. We talked on the phone for quite a while last night and I have to say she's a really nice person.

I hope the gigantic primitive's seen the primitive campfire about how high altitudes help one lose weight, and starts looking at travel brochures featuring Nepal.

franksolich has twenty bucks to contribute for airfare.

[Randy]

So he burned off a half-twinky of 615.84 calories and we're supposed to cheer? Uh yeah great job.

Another thing, broke dick poor and he can afford an Apple? AND an Apple new enough to be under warranty to boot. Damn, I want to be that poor.

[Specbid]

What sucks about it is that it will be in for service during paid time off Jeanette has taken so that we could spend four days together exploring the new expansion coming out for our favorite online game, EverQuest 2.

Are you f***ing kidding me? Get a life you fat bastard.

[franksolich]

Are you f***ing kidding me? Get a life you fat bastard.

I still think the gigantic primitive should put the computer away and go out and socialize.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, perhaps the gigantic primitive and Jeanette can stroll around in downtown Last Vegas, looking at the store displays of chocolate hearts, window-shopping.

Or they could see the posters advertising Nepal in the windows of travel agencies.

The gigantic primitive really needs to get out more.

[Specbid]

Ever since I watched this season's debut of The Biggest Loser, I've wondered if I had in me...

You win without even competing. You make me f***king sick.

[Specbid]

I still think the gigantic primitive should put the computer away and go out and socialize.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, perhaps the gigantic primitive and Jeanette can stroll around in downtown Last Vegas, looking at the store displays of chocolate hearts, window-shopping.

Or they could see the posters advertising Nepal in the windows of travel agencies.

The gigantic primitive really needs to get out more.

You know what frank, I really wanted this guy to be successful and lose some weight when I first started reading about him. Now, I realize he's a piece of shit and deserves everything that happens. Screw him. (Forgive me Lord.)

[franksolich]

You know what frank, I really wanted this guy to be successful and lose some weight when I first started reading about him. Now, I realize he's a piece of shit and deserves everything that happens. Screw him. (Forgive me Lord.)

Seriously, I think the gigantic primitive's in a race against time, and he's not winning.

Given his age and his condition, inevitably his heart's going to explode, unless he drops some serious weight, big time.

Every time I go over to the gigantic primitive's new digs, it's with sweaty fear and trepidation that there's going to be some sort of announcement of his expiry.

Seriously.

[The Village Idiot]

Are you f***ing kidding me? Get a life you fat bastard.

There are FREE games online.

Dungeons and Dragons is a MASSIVE download but its free to play as an MMO.

Also something called Rune Scape

[Specbid]

There are FREE games online.

Dungeons and Dragons is a MASSIVE download but its free to play as an MMO.

Also something called Rune Scape

His old lady is getting 4 "paid" days off and they're looking forward to playing a video game? And they live in Las Vegas?

What is wrong with people???

[The Village Idiot]

His old lady is getting 4 "paid" days off and they're looking forward to playing a video game? And they live in Las Vegas?

What is wrong with people???

Alone with a girl for 4 days. Even someone as unsocial as me, almost a monk, can do better than video games.

[franksolich]

His old lady is getting 4 "paid" days off and they're looking forward to playing a video game? And they live in Las Vegas?

What is wrong with people???

That's another thing that gets me.

Why can't the gigantic primitive telephone the nice guy who drives that special bus, and take Jeanette and him to the casino where the gigantic primitive used to deal cards in between chowing down?

The gigantic primitive worked there for a long time; surely he formed some close associations and friendships.

They could drop in to say "hello" to his former co-workers, even chew the fat with them for a bit, catching up on the lives of each other.

[franksolich]

Alone with a girl for 4 days. Even someone as unsocial as me, almost a monk, can do better than video games.

I dunno for sure--I've never been to Last Vegas--but I suspect the city has various amusement parks, including at least one that has boats looking like ducks or swans, and a canal, and a "Tunnel of Love."

[The Village Idiot]

I dunno for sure--I've never been to Last Vegas--but I suspect the city has various amusement parks, including at least one that has boats looking like ducks or swans, and a canal, and a "Tunnel of Love."

The Tunnel of Love doesn't need any blockage.

Gawd, hard to believe it but I think I just came up with a gay joke from that.

blech.

[Specbid]

That's another thing that gets me.

Why can't the gigantic primitive telephone the nice guy who drives that special bus, and take Jeanette and him to the casino where the gigantic primitive used to deal cards in between chowing down?

The gigantic primitive worked there for a long time; surely he formed some close associations and friendships.

They could drop in to say "hello" to his former co-workers, even chew the fat with them for a bit, catching up on the lives of each other.

That would be a great start. Just by getting out of the apartment he'd be doing both of them a "huge" favor. I lived in Vegas for a bit. There are some great places outside of town where you'd have a great time without spending much. Red Rock Canyon, Diamond, Spring mountain, Boulder City...man LVL, take your wife somewhere.

[Specbid]

I dunno for sure--I've never been to Last Vegas--but I suspect the city has various amusement parks, including at least one that has boats looking like ducks or swans, and a canal, and a "Tunnel of Love."

There is a great little bar in Spring Mountain, old country/biker kind of place, but it's friendly as hell, with a "huge" fireplace...they'd have a good ol' time without spending much. They might even get it done afterwards, if you know what I mean.

[franksolich]

That would be a great start. Just by getting out of the apartment he'd be doing both of them a "huge" favor...man LVL, take your wife somewhere.

The other day, based upon a comment the 404-pound guy here, who shovels grain at the local grain elevator five and a half days a week, said, I checked google for stores for big and tall men in Last Vegas.

There's tons of those stores there.

The gigantic primitive and Jeanette could go strolling through those stores, sizing up suits for job-hunting, and perhaps even putting a couple of them on layaway.

Or perhaps there's an indoor ice-skating rink somewhere in the city?

Or one of those live shows of chorus women kicking up their heels?

Going out for any reason, mingling with other people for any reason, would melt the fat away like butter on a hot day in the Sandhills.  I don't see any calorie-burnage cooping oneself up in an apartment playing computer games.

Surely there's a roller-coaster and bump-cars somewhere in Last Vegas.

[GOBUCKS]

I go to the gym nearly every day. I'm sure others here do as well. Every aerobic machine I've ever used shows you a calculation of calories burned and how long you've been on the machine. Some of them read out actual calories per minute. The cetacean claims to be burning 12 calories per minute, and I'm very familiar with that level of exertion. There is no way possible that he could work at a 12 calorie per minute pace for more than instantaneous reading. A few seconds at best. 12 calories a minute for 51 minutes is as likely as having him run a 4-minute mile or a 2-hour marathon. He is a sedentary, unmotivated, quarter-ton blob, and 12 calories per minute is a moderate rate of work that he couldn't possibly sustain.

DUmmies lie, all the time. Now we also know they put bogus data into their BodyBuggs.

[franksolich]

There is a great little bar in Spring Mountain, old country/biker kind of place, but it's friendly as hell, with a "huge" fireplace...they'd have a good ol' time without spending much. They might even get it done afterwards, if you know what I mean.

Jeanette needs to keep the gigantic primitive away from any place that offers food, though.

The gigantic primitive admitted he'd gone through bushels of Cheetos, bricks of chocolate, and mountains of ice cream, the other day.

How about one of those carnivals where there's a man standing beside a scale, offering to guess one's weight?

He can't be trusted around a cotton-candy or snow-cone machine, much less the free popcorn, peanuts, and pretzels offered by bars.

[The Village Idiot]

Surely there's a roller-coaster and bump-cars somewhere in Last Vegas.

The Stratosphere!

[GOBUCKS]

2,000 calories of food indiscretions

2000 calories is more than an indiscretion. It's like a recovering alcoholic slipping up and drinking two fifths of TiT's Bombay Sapphire, or someone who's quitting smoking slipping up and smoking four packs a day.

[Traveshamockery]

The Stratosphere!

I've been there and I've seen those rides and there is no effing way I would get on that ride, skinny or fat.  I doubt the ride operators would allow the gigantic primitive to go on those rides, either. 

[Carl]

So, stress over something which in reality is just plain petty drove me to throw my discipline to the wind and binge on Cheetos and chocolate and soy ice cream over a two day period. I guess the old me needs another mental thrashing with the aluminum baseball bat of common sense....

Please don`t flame me but it needs to be said...

Food is what we need to keep us alive.
In and of itself it has no chemical component that will induce any kind of euphoria.
If it does that then exercise and diet are only a component of what a person needs to get themselves on track.

There is a deeper problem that needs to be faced and addressed.

[Randy]

I've been there and I've seen those rides and there is no effing way I would get on that ride, skinny or fat.  I doubt the ride operators would allow the gigantic primitive to go on those rides, either. 

They aren't showing the Big Shot at the very top. The BS is the shit!

Big Shot Stratosphere Las Vegas
The Thrill Ride that Touches the Sky!
Strap in to the Big Shot and prepare to be shot 160 feet in the air at 45 miles per hour as you overlook the majestic Las Vegas Valley. In a matter of seconds, the Big Shot thrill ride catapults 16 riders from the 921-foot high platform up the Tower's mast to a height of 1,081 feet and down again. Before you catch your breath, you'll be shot back up again! Experience a gut-wrenching four 'G's of force on the way up, and feel negative 'G's on the way down as your legs dangle in the Las Vegas skyline.

[franksolich]

There is a deeper problem that needs to be faced and addressed.

Oh, of course there is, and I believe everyone here who's ever commented upon the gigantic primitive has said the same.

Remember, no one has ridiculed the gigantic primitive simply because he's the size of a Zeppelin; all ridicule has been directed at his attitude, which makes the gigantic primitive as enormous as the Graf Spee.

And such was mentioned when the gigantic primitive won #08 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009.

This notion that "other people"--from his mother of blessed memory to his former boss to George Bush--and "events"--from being fired at the casino to having sore feet to having a flooded bathroom--are to blame for his predicament, is ridiculous, and needs mocked.

This notion that expensive computer gadgets will help him lose weight is ridiculous, and needs mocked.

[The Village Idiot]

They aren't showing the Big Shot at the very top. The BS is the shit!