Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana

[franksolich]

Okay, there's going to be seventeen awards this year, for the Top Ten DUmmies of 2014--each of the top ten primitives, and seven special awards.

Awardments are scheduled to end the afternoon of New Year's Eve, December 31, with awardment of the top two prizes, the franksolich and the big one, the most important one, the Top DUmmie, period, of 2014.

There's eleven days until then; seventeen awards.

<<<going to be busier than Sandra Fluke hopping around in the sack.

For now, I'm going to clear out the junk; the primitives who didn't make the cut.

But I'm not going to release all Top DUmmies 11-20 in one batch.

I'm going to release them one at a time in this thread.

And to motivate this thread--it's not really an award, after all--I'm going to hold back release of the next Top DUmmie 11-20, until at least three comments hurling insight or insults (it makes no difference which one) at the preceding primitive have been posted.

I'm away part of the day today (Saturday), so please consider that; after mid-afternoon today, I should be around.

Okay.

#20 Top DUmmie of 2014: Aerows

Have at her, folks, taunting her or consoling her (it makes no difference which one) after which I'll put up #19 Top DUmmie of 2014.

[Chris_]

Are there any nominees that didn't make it into the top 20?  I admit, I haven't been following closely this year.

[Ralph Wiggum]

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.  And Frank would kill me for divulging the info.

The voting was quite interesting, though.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to nominate & vote all!  It was kinda fun to tabulate.

[BlueStateSaint]

Aerows was only #20???!??!?!

I thought that this little cupcake would be more than enough to put her into the Top 5:



(Can I get a recount?)

[whiffleball]

Dang!  I had that DUmmie pegged as at least #3 top honors this year.  Doesn't bode well for my ballot.

[Carl]

[BattleHymn]

Congratulations Aerows, you dumb bitch, for making #20!  Have a raccoon-- it's on me you!

[obumazombie]

The Dummies never fail to disappoint.

[franksolich]

Are there any nominees that didn't make it into the top 20?  I admit, I haven't been following closely this year.

There were 45 nominations for the top DUmmies.

[franksolich]

#19 Top DUmmie of 2014: darkangel218

[BattleHymn]

#19 Top DUmmie of 2014: darkangel218

I thought this idiot would have posted higher in the results.  Apparently threatening to leave the DUmp, having nearly as many fake degrees as nads, and a republican boyfriend just isn't enough to place in the top ten. 

Better luck next year, DUmbass! 

[franksolich]

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.  And Frank would kill me for divulging the info.

The voting was quite interesting, though.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to nominate & vote all!  It was kinda fun to tabulate.

I'm thinking about maybe next year, closing nominations after the first 45, the way things worked out so excellently this year.

In previous years, there'd been 60, 70, 80 nominees, and I wonder if that vast number caused confusion in voters' minds.

So maybe it'd be better to have a "closing time" when a certain number's reached, than a calendar time.

[tanstaafl]

I thought this idiot would have posted higher in the results.  Apparently threatening to leave the DUmp, having nearly as many fake degrees as nads, and a republican boyfriend just isn't enough to place in the top ten. 

Better luck next year, DUmbass!

The Dorkanglenumbers primitive, while putting out quality product, just wasn't productive enough. She really trailed off the righteous path during the critical pre- and post-election period. Thusly, I urge all DUmmies to step up the pitiful ranting, empty threats and general maudlining in the future if you want a tantalizing title courtesy of CC.

After all, there is the post-Holiday crying period for the DUmmies coming up a week from now.

[obumazombie]

The Dorkanglenumbers primitive, while putting out quality product, just wasn't productive enough. She really trailed off the righteous path during the critical pre- and post-election period. Thusly, I urge all DUmmies to step up the pitiful ranting, empty threats and general maudlining in the future if you want a tantalizing title courtesy of CC.

After all, there is the post-Holiday crying period for the DUmmies coming up a week from now.

So it's quality and quantity !

[tanstaafl]

So it's quality and quantity !

Yes.

And one is better than the other.

[ChuckJ]

I'm thinking about maybe next year, closing nominations after the first 45, the way things worked out so excellently this year.

In previous years, there'd been 60, 70, 80 nominees, and I wonder if that vast number caused confusion in voters' minds.

So maybe it'd be better to have a "closing time" when a certain number's reached, than a calendar time.

I can understand why having so many nominees would cause some confusion, but I think the best thing that could happen is that if the DUmmies would step up their game to make himself/herself/itself more memorable. The DUmmies must remember that when posting at DU just being standard nutty as a fruitcake isn't a guaranty for celebrity because DU is full of nuts. Just being a regular nut at DU is like being a grain of sand on a beach.

I would suggest that each DUmmie choose a particular trait, characteristic, etc and run with it. Below are some things that have worked in the past.

1-Be all knowing
2-Be a super soldier baddass
3-Be a home-made experiment engineer
4-Be a remote viewing cross-gendered animal (okay, maybe that's two characteristics)
5-Be a self-important writer who uses dots
6-Be a black guy who thinks he's suave and super smart
7-Hide a remote control

[Tess Anderson]

I didn't have dork or Aerows in my top ten but I am surprised that Martha (AerowsX) did so poorly. Dork, not so much, she really shined more at DI this year to me and she stopped the nursing story arc.

[Mr Mannn]

Top DUmmies of 2014: those who came close, but no banana

Considering the primitives are a step below the missing link, denying them a banana is cruel and unusual punishment...I like it!

[franksolich]

#18 Top DUmmie of 2014: Omaha Steve

[Chris_]

#18 Top DUmmie of 2014: Omaha Steve

Better luck next year.

Oh, wait...

[franksolich]

Better luck next year.

Oh, wait...

You know the big guy's going to go to Lourdes, and come back proclaiming it's a miracle, he's been cured; I suspect that'll be enough to bounce him right back up next year.

[ChuckJ]

Steve just doesn't seem to have much luck when it comes to votes.

[Chris_]

You know the big guy's going to go to Lourdes, and come back proclaiming it's a miracle, he's been cured; I suspect that'll be enough to bounce him right back up next year.

Maybe he'll find some magical eddy in the Omaha sewer system that nobody knows about.

[franksolich]

I can understand why having so many nominees would cause some confusion, but I think the best thing that could happen is that if the DUmmies would step up their game to make himself/herself/itself more memorable. The DUmmies must remember that when posting at DU just being standard nutty as a fruitcake isn't a guaranty for celebrity because DU is full of nuts. Just being a regular nut at DU is like being a grain of sand on a beach.

You know, sir, next year I think I'll stress something about what one should do, when it comes to voting, but first I must say that this year's Top Ten is the most solid slate ever awarded, not an outlier in any of it.

It's a first-rate, top-notch, tip-top, first-class slate.

I think the best "strategy" for voting, especially if a ballot's long, is for one to first consider the primitives he remembers the most, and then check the ballot to see which ones are on it, voting accordingly.

Starting off by first looking at the list of nominees can get one mired down.

[BlueStateSaint]

You know, sir, next year I think I'll stress something about what one should do, when it comes to voting, but first I must say that this year's Top Ten is the most solid slate ever awarded, not an outlier in any of it.

It's a first-rate, top-notch, tip-top, first-class slate.

I think the best "strategy" for voting, especially if a ballot's long, is for one to first consider the primitives he remembers the most, and then check the ballot to see which ones are on it, voting accordingly.

Starting off by first looking at the list of nominees can get one mired down.

I think I had OS in my Top 10.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did.