Amber sees a new pyschiatrist - advised to get a cat

[DUmpsterDiver]

OK now look.  Her little tale just overreached with this one.  Just stop it Amber.  This is not happening.  There is no program anywhere in the world that provides for all of this.  The closest is Section 8, where you get a true shithole, the crappiest apartments in town with the most loathsome neighbors. 

http://cms3.tucsonaz.gov/hcd/contact-section-8

Rental Assistance and Homeowner Assistance Program Application Status
Section 8                                         Is not currently accepting applications.
Public Housing                                   Now accepting applications for some. waiting lists.
Posadas Sentinel                               Now accepting applications.
Elderly Homeowner Repair Assistance     Is not currently accepting applications
Lead Hazard Control Program                Is not currently accepting applications
Deferred Loan Program                        Is not currently accepting applications

[Chris_]

Amber's kat...





Gotta keep state expenses down...

ha ha ha ha... You bad.

[JohnnyReb]

Decisions, decisions, which one to eat first...the dyke on the bike or the cat on the couch.

[tanstaafl]

OK now look.  Her little tale just overreached with this one.  Just stop it Amber.  This is not happening.  There is no program anywhere in the world that provides for all of this.  The closest is Section 8, where you get a true shithole, the crappiest apartments in town with the most loathsome neighbors. 

This was bobolink's fantasy, to have a free, beautiful house with sumptuous furnishings just exactly to her liking.

I'm tending to lean your way there, Karin. And I don't believe there are any Section 8 owners (Section 8 is privately owned, Gov. subsidized housing) that would trust any of the renters with furnishing. It would be cheaper to burn a truckload of cash.
Besides, as the willingly homeless, I doubt that she'd qualify.
And food stamps? Didn't she quit her job in Joplin to go homeless in Tucson? Yeah, getting that. Not.
Free psychiatric care/group consoling? Only if the courts have sent her there as indigent and a danger to herself and members of the public.
I wonder when the free drivers' training and the inevitable free car turn up in Amber-Land.

[EagleKeeper]

Yeah, I don't think a cat is the best idea.

As vesta mentioned, it is vitally important to keep the litter box clean and I've always thought that cat piss should be weaponized for crowd control and personal self defense.

The inevitable hair ball being horked up in the worst possible place (more on this in a bit).

Finding cat food that...

A) Your cat will be able keep down, it's a real bummer chasing a cat around in order to clean up vomit and they seem allergic to puking on vinyl, it must always be on fiber like carpets or furniture.

B) Dry food would be best if only they would learn to chew the kibble up, but of course they don't, it gets swallowed whole which, of course, upsets their tummies.

C) Moist cat food seems to more tolerable but it also acts as a solvent for cat teeth which means more veterinary intervention AND learning how cats display pain, which by itself is stressful. (hint: cats will purr even when they are in dire pain) purring is not a sign of pleasure, it's a vocalization that does not travel far and thereby attract other predators.

Front claws, you could have them removed but thats like cutting your fingers off at the outermost knuckle, so assuming they keep their claws cats shred things, all kinds of things.

You even have to consider how you mount toilet paper into the dispenser.

And lastly, don't get a siamese, nor a multi colored cat like a tabicat, they are simply too needy. Get a solid color cat, either black or white, they seem to be more aloof which is a good thing.

[Chris_]

Good cat food isn't cheap.  I spend $30 on a bag that last about 60 days (compared to the $7/bag Meow Mix).

[EagleKeeper]

Good cat food isn't cheap.  I spend $30 on a bag that last about 60 days (compared to the $7/bag Meow Mix).

Good cat litter isn't exactly cheap either.

And cat toys...cats gotta shred something besides furniture.

Edit: And my forearm.

[Chris_]

http://www.getcatsmeow.com/

I bought one of these and my cat loves it, but it burns through batteries pretty quickly.  They should have made one that plugs in to an outlet.

I hide it when it's not being used so he doesn't get used to it.

[EagleKeeper]

http://www.getcatsmeow.com/

I bought one of these and my cat loves it, but it burns through batteries pretty quickly.  They should have made one that plugs in to an outlet.

I hide it when it's not being used so he doesn't get used to it.

Heh, I was at Krogers yesterday and they have a "as seen on tv" shelf. I actually held one in my hand and considered purchasing it.

But she already has a fling-ama-string, a whole box of toys and an armarkat cat tree (which almost reaches the ceiling)...it must stop somewhere.

[Dori]

I've had several cats over the years.  My worst luck was with the short haired Asian types with slender bodies.  My better pets had some angora in them.

Just my experience and observations.

Several breeds have a lot of difficulty digesting the dry food. Especially if they groom a lot and don't drink enough fresh water. Clean litter boxes are a must also, or they'll go where you don't want them to. 

I had a cat door, so that usually wasn't much of a problem for me.

 



 

[tanstaafl]

Why feed 'em? They'll go somewhere else if you don't put food out for them. Soon they'll wander onto the rifle range and get free shots at a moving target. And before you scream "cat killer!", most states consider a loose, uncollared kitty a non-indigenous predator, subject only to the possession of a current hunting license and not within city limits (Weapons discharge).

As far as a litter box - isn't there a park or better yet, a neighbor, nearby with a sandbox?

Besides, ask any cat around, it's a waste of time trying to train your human

[Skul]

Good cat litter isn't exactly cheap either.

And cat toys...cats gotta shred something besides furniture.

Edit: And my forearm.

Remember EK, no carpet. Just a bare floor.
She don't need no stinking leeterbox. 
Hose it off...good to go. 

[Karin]

Why does this thread have to go there. 

[EagleKeeper]

Why does this thread have to go there. 

Go where?

[GOBUCKS]

I don't think Amber needs to worry about her imaginary cat clawing up her imaginary furniture in her imaginary apartment.

Her imaginary program would just have her go back to the imaginary warehouse in her imaginary free car and pick out more imaginary free furniture.

[Dori]

I don't think Amber needs to worry about her imaginary cat clawing up her imaginary furniture in her imaginary apartment.

Her imaginary program would just have her go back to the imaginary warehouse in her imaginary free car and pick out more imaginary free furniture.

Now that is a scary thought if your right.  Just like having a multiple personality disorder like in Sybil.   

 

 

[GOBUCKS]

Go where?

I think she's referring to the meeting of the Cat People.

It's kind of scary to most folks.

[Karin]

No, the meeting of the Cat Killers.   

[Skul]

No, the meeting of the Cat Killers.  

<<<<<< I kinda sympathize. 

[Charles Henrickson]

I'm now firmly convinced that Amber Hoyt never left Joplin, MO.

I, however, am convinced that Amber Hoyt is, or at least recently has been, living in Tucson. If you do a Nadin and use the google, and you search for "Amber Hoyt" "Tucson," you will find a number of results, outside of the DUmp, with local Tucson references, locations, contact info, etc.--e.g., a Tucson phone number to reach her at "the Sally," the Salvation Army homeless shelter there--which tells me that she was indeed living in Tucson as recently as this past fall. As far as the rest of her story--the date with Knightraven, the kitty, etc.--that I don't know.

- - - - - - - - - -

DATE A LEZZY
Tune: "Take It Easy"

Well, I'm a Lady called Returns
Tryin' to lose my concerns
I've got sev'ral boyfriends on my mind
One that's now in prison
One that has gone missin'
None around that I can find

Date a lezzy
Date a lezzy
Don't let the fact that you're a girl
Make you dizzy

Lighten up, it's not the end
Don't even try to comprehend
Just find a chick to make your friend
And date a lezzy

Well, I'm standin' on a corner
In Tucson, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see
It's a lonely dyke
On a motorbike
Slowin' down, and then she says to me:

"Come on, Lady
Don't be fraidy
I gotta know if your sweet self
Is gonna date me

"I can say you won't be bored
You'll find new vistas to be explored
So hop on up and climb aboard
And date a lezzy!" . . .

Well, it's gettin' kinda late
And we're out on our date
Got a woman driver up in front
Sittin' right behind her
I need a reminder
She's just another . . . girl

Date a lezzy
Date a lezzy
Don't let the fact that you're a girl
Make you dizzy

Come on, Lady
Don't be fraidy
I gotta know if lezbo love
Will now persuade me . . .

Oh, I'm gettin' dizzy
I thought I'd date a lezzy

[DefiantSix]

I, however, am convinced that Amber Hoyt is, or at least recently has been, living in Tucson. If you do a Nadin and use the google, and you search for "Amber Hoyt" "Tucson," you will find a number of results, outside of the DUmp, with local Tucson references, locations, contact info, etc.--e.g., a Tucson phone number to reach her at "the Sally," the Salvation Army homeless shelter there--which tells me that she was indeed living in Tucson as recently as this past fall. As far as the rest of her story--knightraven, the cat, etc.--that I don't know.

The thing which puts her whole story into question for me though, is that every detail she's posted - such as you've outlined, for example - could just as easily be a detail she picked up over the first whirlwind tour she made of Tucson, both with Dreamboat Dave and after Evil Chad ruined her life. Having resided in one for a brief time of my young life, I know the location and phone number of the Sally weren't likely to change in the brief time that Amber was slaving off her bus fare home for her cruel sisters, as just one counterpoint.  Those things which may have changed over the few years she "was in  Joplin" would be stuff she could just as quickly get caught up to speed on by friends/contacts she'd made while she lived there.

I guess my point is that a lice-ridden bum living in and out of the homeless shelter doesn't have the luxury of a lot of the niceties that Amber posts about.  Library computer terminals are usually time-limited (spending much more than an hour is exceptionally rare), in order to keep the lice-ridden bums from parking in front of one all day long: as such, I would contend that there are many things Amber would need to use the machine for - assuming that any part of her story at all is true - in order to set up this freeloader's paradise she's describing, before she would ever have time to waste on reporting her latest mis-adventures to the retards at the DUmp. She sure as hell wouldn't have time to peruse everything that's being said about her posts HERE before she posted her hapless drivel on Skinner's Island of Misfit ****-ups, as it is becoming increasingly evident she's doing.

Given the unlikelihood of all of this, how is any less likely that she never left Joplin at all, or that, like so many other Useful Democrat Idiots before her, is just running a scam on the drooling morons of DemocratUnderground.com?

[Traveshamockery]

I, however, am convinced that Amber Hoyt is, or at least recently has been, living in Tucson. If you do a Nadin and use the google, and you search for "Amber Hoyt" "Tucson," you will find a number of results, outside of the DUmp, with local Tucson references, locations, contact info, etc.--e.g., a Tucson phone number to reach her at "the Sally," the Salvation Army homeless shelter there--which tells me that she was indeed living in Tucson as recently as this past fall. As far as the rest of her story--the date with Knightraven, the kitty, etc.--that I don't know.

- - - - - - - - - -

DATE A LEZZY
Tune: "Take It Easy"

Well, I'm a Lady called Returns
Tryin' to lose my concerns
I've got sev'ral boyfriends on my mind
One that's now in prison
One that has gone missin'
None around that I can find

Date a lezzy
Date a lezzy
Don't let the fact that you're a girl
Make you dizzy

Lighten up, it's not the end
Don't even try to comprehend
Just find a chick to make your friend
And date a lezzy

Well, I'm standin' on a corner
In Tucson, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see
It's a lonely dyke
On a motorbike
Slowin' down, and then she says to me:

"Come on, Lady
Don't be fraidy
I gotta know if your sweet self
Is gonna date me

"I can say you won't be bored
You'll find new vistas to be explored
So hop on up and climb aboard
And date a lezzy!" . . .

Well, it's gettin' kinda late
And we're out on our date
Got a woman driver up in front
Sittin' right behind her
I need a reminder
She's just another . . . girl

Date a lezzy
Date a lezzy
Don't let the fact that you're a girl
Make you dizzy

Come on, Lady
Don't be fraidy
I gotta know if lezbo love
Will now persuade me . . .

Oh, I'm gettin' dizzy
I thought I'd date a lezzy

Charles, you're on a roll.   

[HawkHogan]

How the hell does a homeless vagrant have a psychiatrist? 

When people wonder why our national debt is over 17 trillion dollars, these ridiculous programs come to mind. 

Why the hell are taxpayers subsidizing this moron getting psychiatric treatment for her made up PTSD. 

[dandi]

Duhhh, I will love him and pat him and hug him and squeeze him.

[youtube=425,350]jPdHaNr0OAY[/youtube]

[67 Rover]

[youtube=425,350]jPdHaNr0OAY[/youtube]

I had forgotten that was Daffy, I was thinking it was Sylvester.  Oh well two violent cartoons we will never see again.