Author Topic: I almost died today  (Read 538 times)

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Offline FunkyZero

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I almost died today
« on: January 11, 2023, 03:53:21 PM »
SOOOOO close damnit...
I have to say, if this really happened, I'm laughing my ass off. Even it's fellow nut-jobs hate this abomination of a DUmmie.
This post is stuffed with gold.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100217551350

Quote
I_UndergroundPanther (11,368 posts)


I almost died today
I was in program today and I almost choked to death on my lunch. In the past have always hurried up eating because everybody else was on fire and wanted to go home asap after program.I did it to be considerate. Now I don't give a shit about being considerate to those buttholes.

I have few chewing teeth and a huge bone spur in my neck that bends my esophagus a bit. People know about this when the spur presses on my cervical nerves and it hurts and does shit like make my hands become unable to write suddenly. They know I get shots in my spine because of it.
So they have no excuse.


It was scary as ****.
I could not inhale,exhale or swallow.
I let the food I could let out and managed to get a tiny amount of air in. Than I made a small cough and it manages to come out. Managed to take another careful inhale and began coughing hard. Had food in my nose too. It took like 20 minutes to stop coughing.

Anyways not one person besides my counselor and the nurse who ran into the room hearing something was wrong was asking if I was ok afterwards.
My counselor told me not to rush eating anymore.
That she would take me home after group if I took longer.


Told them both again about my lack if teeth and the big bone spur in my neck. The nurse said she is going to set me up with people to help me get the spur out of my neck. She also showed me an international hand sign to signify I was choking so she knew quicker what she needed to do.


I got on the van to go home. People were complaining about being late getting home. I said I almost died. The reply was some people got plans. I said my plan to keep living overrides any bullshit you have to do. **** you. Get over yourselves. People made some sarcastic grumbling.

The van driver was even being a sarcastic asshole to me,and later on after that he actually said that he was disappointed he didn't hit a squirrel that ran in front of the van on the way home . He knows it upsets me because last time he hit a squirrel I told him his jokes about it were not funny and were ****ing disgusting and made him sound like a damn sociopath.. I said squirrels don't deserve to die for your amusement asshole. **** you. He shut up stopped joking.


I swear I wanted to kick all thier asses today.It took everything I had not to throttle 1 specific person who was the ringleader regarding his callous bullshit.
But he was sitting behind me and it would not be easy to jump 2 layers of seats backwards to kick his sorry ass with the van moving. The more sensitive people in the van who should know better joined in with the assholes like chickenshits.

WTF is wrong with these stupid self centered weak ass people..if you ask me there are too many selfish emotionally vicious people on this planet that need to be reminded that shit they say and do hurts others in a way they understand ..pain.

And cowards that really need to remember what having courage and integrity means.

Sekhmet please teach these cowards and bullies how it feels to almost choke to death.

Sekhmet,you know what to do. Sa Sekhem Sahu. Remind these assholes personally what would happen to them if Maat was not upheld .


I'm in my bed with a heat pad on my neck
and Othello is making biscuits on my blanket next to me laying against my belly purrin'. The muscles in my neck are hurting like hell due to tension. Got some tylenol,motrin and Flexeril to help it.
.
Thank Sekhmet and Lady Bast for my darling Othello.
He has more compassion and sweetness in one whisker compared to all those pieces of shit put together.

**** them!!

Today SUCKED.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2023, 03:56:50 PM by FunkyZero »

Offline Texacon

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2023, 04:04:35 PM »
 :rotf:


Lots of funny stories today!  UP doesn't/didn't know the international symbol for choking?! 

And what the hell is it talking about with the 'sekmet' stuff?

KC
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2023, 04:08:16 PM »
Quote
Sekhmet please teach these cowards and bullies how it feels to almost choke to death.

Sekhmet,you know what to do. Sa Sekhem Sahu. Remind these assholes personally what would happen to them if Maat was not upheld .

Whaaaa?  :o
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Offline FunkyZero

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2023, 04:15:55 PM »
Whaaaa?  :o

this weirdo prays to a cat god and has an alter. no, im not kidding

Offline 67 Rover

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2023, 04:23:26 PM »
this weirdo prays to a cat god and has an alter. no, im not kidding

My God. What exactly is its "counselor" working on?
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Online RuralNc

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2023, 04:27:50 PM »
Just wondering. Anyone have any idea what exactly is this "program" this leach goes to?

Offline FunkyZero

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2023, 04:33:06 PM »
Just wondering. Anyone have any idea what exactly is this "program" this leach goes to?

nut job mental health group crap.
if i had to guess, it probably claims ptsd because it's a transgender cat person (no I'm not joking), and the MAGA's haunt it's dreams

Online RuralNc

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2023, 05:06:05 PM »
nut job mental health group crap.
if i had to guess, it probably claims ptsd because it's a transgender cat person (no I'm not joking), and the MAGA's haunt it's dreams


Offline dutch508

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2023, 05:07:22 PM »
I started to read it without knowing who it was and guessed ugp halfway through...

Yup.

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Offline FunkyZero

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2023, 05:14:33 PM »


It's not even a real mental health case.
This freak is an attention seeking weirdo. These types abuse the mental health system and clog it up with their bullsh** and ruin it for people who really do need some help.
the professionals don't dare tell them what they really think either, so it goes on for as long as the weirdo demands attention, and no one can do anything about it.
Hence the revolt on the bus. Everyone despises these freaks

Offline FunkyZero

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2023, 05:18:02 PM »
geez, this explains a lot too

Quote
Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)Wed Jan 11, 2023, 05:23 PM
forgotmylogin (7,182 posts)

12. That's terrifying.

My mom used to breathe through her mouth while she ate and didn't chew well, also due to tooth issues.

She aspirated food bits *multiple* times either into her lung or on the precipice of that and it's terrifying because reflexes take over - she could breathe but she was seemingly choking in distress and spitting out what seemed like gallons of mucus in a high-alert body situation. We went to the ER the first time and they were able to calm her and be like "not much we can do except make sure it dissolves on its own." It happened several more times and I knew she had to cough and spit it out. The way they taught me to differentiate is she *could talk* during her distress and could breathe - It was mostly just a severe reflex of her body trying to expel debris from a place it isn't coming out of. An actual choking person will not be able to say anything.

Offline FunkyZero

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2023, 05:26:19 PM »
Now a couple of the DUmpasses are trying to get the freak to face-plant on purpose. hehehe

Quote
Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)Wed Jan 11, 2023, 05:39 PM
BlueWaveNeverEnd (974 posts)

22. do you know the method for heimlech-ing yourself? throw yourself chest first on the ground

the force will expel the food.

glad you survived.

Offline DefiantSix

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2023, 05:28:39 PM »
Quote
I_UndergroundPanther (11,368 posts)


I almost died today
I was in program today and I almost choked to death...  :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah:

Try harder next time, Ugh-Pee.  :fuelfire:

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Offline Dblhaul

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2023, 05:33:38 PM »
Notice the subway cat wants everyone to pay attention to it. " I have two teeth and bone spurs, you must wait for me." Everyone knows because I start the group session reminding my fellow mental patients all of my self made issues, physical and mental.

It make choking noise to make everyone look and gets ignored, you can feel the love. :rotf:

This thing wanted to kick everyone's ass today, they would not bow down to it's brilliance.

At days end it says prayers to an Egyptian god.

Best thing for the cat is to be run over by a garbage truck. 

Offline Crazy Horse

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2023, 06:26:00 PM »
****, so close
You got off your ass, now get your wife off her back.

Offline CollectivismMustDie

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2023, 06:27:58 PM »
Elegant proof that a DUmmy can **** up anything.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2023, 06:38:18 PM »
I started to read it without knowing who it was and guessed ugp halfway through...

Yup.

Same here. Only reading the thread title can often give them away, whether it be RockHead, Kentuck, NanceGreggs, KPete, or the other luminaries at the DUmp.

Had a sudden realization today. Most of you have likely heard of "LibsofTikTok", a Twitter account dedicated to showing the insanity of liberals who willing post their own bat guano crazy stuff on TikTok. (Note, I don't partake in either Twitter or TikTok)

If you think about it, those of us at CU and now the Cave have been the original "LibsofTikTok", displaying DUmmies' rampant stupidity for two decades. We were torchbearers in our field.
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Offline Texacon

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2023, 07:18:18 PM »
geez, this explains a lot too


There’s a statement there that’s important. A DUmmie said a person who is choking will not be able to talk.

See: every George Floyd post ever for the DUmmie response to that statement.

They all became medical experts over that bullshit. “Just because you can talk doesn’t mean you can breathe.”

KC
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Offline BamaMoose

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2023, 03:22:30 AM »
She claims she's a cat.  Hairballs are to be expected.

Seriously, is she surprised that anyone that knows her in real life wants to avoid her, if at all possible.  I'm sure that the people in her therapy session were rooting for the sandwich she was choking on to win.  And in her rant she points out one of the problems with the "social net".  A group of people in her taxpayer provided mental health group session, who were provided taxpayer provided meals and transportation, were bitching that the taxpayer provided transportation wouldn't get them to where they wanted to be whenever they wanted to be there.  Much like she constantly bitches about how much she hates her taxpayer provided lodgings (which aren't precisely where she would like to live) and her taxpayer provided food (which doesn't allow her to live on champagne and caviar) and whatever other money she gets from the taxpayers (which doesn't allow her to dress in diamonds and furs).  She not only complains that living off of working people is not up to her expectations, she actually hates those of us that can afford some luxuries while at the same time paying her bills.  One would think that she would be at least be a little appreciative of all the charity she has gotten from her family and the taxpayers her entire life, but all she does is complain that whatever she gets is not enough.

Offline DefiantSix

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2023, 05:41:03 AM »
My God. What exactly is its "counselor" working on?

If I had to guess, probably a serious drinking problem and an airtight alibi. (As I recall, Ugh-Pee isn't exactly unknown to the local constabulary, and so suspicious eyes would have to be raised when s/h/it turned up at room temperature.)
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Offline Texacon

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2023, 06:20:03 AM »
She claims she's a cat.  Hairballs are to be expected.

Seriously, is she surprised that anyone that knows her in real life wants to avoid her, if at all possible.  I'm sure that the people in her therapy session were rooting for the sandwich she was choking on to win.  And in her rant she points out one of the problems with the "social net".  A group of people in her taxpayer provided mental health group session, who were provided taxpayer provided meals and transportation, were bitching that the taxpayer provided transportation wouldn't get them to where they wanted to be whenever they wanted to be there.  Much like she constantly bitches about how much she hates her taxpayer provided lodgings (which aren't precisely where she would like to live) and her taxpayer provided food (which doesn't allow her to live on champagne and caviar) and whatever other money she gets from the taxpayers (which doesn't allow her to dress in diamonds and furs).  She not only complains that living off of working people is not up to her expectations, she actually hates those of us that can afford some luxuries while at the same time paying her bills.  One would think that she would be at least be a little appreciative of all the charity she has gotten from her family and the taxpayers her entire life, but all she does is complain that whatever she gets is not enough.


Great post!  ^5!

Your post made me think of something along these same lines.  These people, everyone in the room with it, sat there and watched a person choking.  They did nothing.  The people working there had to come save UP.

Think about that.  These people have gotten so used to everyone else taking care of them, they couldn't even help a person who was choking.  They waited until someone who does stuff for them to come and DO STUFF FOR THEM.

They have no responsibilities and expect everything to be handed to them because they've been conditioned to think that way.

"Don't feed the bears"

KC
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2023, 09:22:46 AM »

Great post!  ^5!

Your post made me think of something along these same lines.  These people, everyone in the room with it, sat there and watched a person choking.  They did nothing.  The people working there had to come save UP.

Think about that.  These people have gotten so used to everyone else taking care of them, they couldn't even help a person who was choking.  They waited until someone who does stuff for them to come and DO STUFF FOR THEM.

They have no responsibilities and expect everything to be handed to them because they've been conditioned to think that way.

"Don't feed the bears"

KC

I imagine most people there pulled out the cell phone and started to video for posting to Facebook or Twitter. 

It really is Unfortunate that in today's godless society this is usually the first thought.
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Offline Texacon

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #22 on: January 12, 2023, 10:02:14 AM »
I imagine most people there pulled out the cell phone and started to video for posting to Facebook or Twitter. 

It really is Unfortunate that in today's godless society this is usually the first thought.


OMG, you are SO right!  You see these videos of bad stuff going down all the time and in the video 500 people watching it with their phones in their hand instead of stepping up and stopping the bad stuff from continuing.  THAT is frustrating as hell.

Everyone wants to be the one that got THE video.  We're doomed.

KC
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2023, 12:21:53 PM »
:rotf:


Lots of funny stories today! 
Quote
UP doesn't/didn't know the international symbol for choking?!
 

And what the hell is it talking about with the 'sekmet' stuff?

KC
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Offline franksolich

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Re: I almost died today
« Reply #24 on: January 13, 2023, 12:03:22 PM »
It's not even a real mental health case.

This freak is an attention seeking weirdo. These types abuse the mental health system and clog it up with their bullsh** and ruin it for people who really do need some help.

For years I was barbequed by primitives and sob-sisters on this side of the aisle for being insensitive, a jerk, because I made coarse, ribald fun of the subway cat.

On the Head of St. John the Baptist, I can swear with a straight face that I've never in my life made fun of truly handicapped people; only those charlatans posing as such.

The subway cat is only an attention-seeking freak, and so one should feel free to mock her as much as one wishes.
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