Author Topic: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'  (Read 508 times)

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« on: January 03, 2023, 04:52:44 PM »
Climate alarmists through the years have tried everything from scary phrases — the existential threat to mankind, et al. — to predictions that never came true to cute little “how to” guides on reducing one’s so-called “carbon footprint,” which alarmists like Al Gore, Leo DiCaprio, and Joe Biden incessantly preach to the rest of us while totally ignoring the mass amounts of fossil fuel they burn on a regular basis.

Welp, according to a New York Times op-ed, it appears that one of the most effective methods of reducing our individual carbon footprint has been right under our noses the whole time. Literally. Hint: the closer our noses are to the ground, the smaller our carbon footprint. Yup, the shorter you are, the fewer anthropogenic carbon emissions you generate. Confused? Don’t be; this is a complete crock of crap.

Incidentally, that’s Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg in the feature image, who tops out at four feet 11 inches and must have a tiny carbon footprint to go along with her limited stature, but I digress.

Anyway, here’s writer Mara Altman, author of “Gross Anatomy,” via the Times:

From where I stand — at five feet even — being tall is a widely held fantasy of superiority that long ago should have been retired.

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There is an ongoing debate about the stature of a population and what it means for the prosperity and fairness of a nation, but I’m interested in shortness on an individual level. Our success as individuals does not depend on beating up other people or animals. Even if it did, in an era of guns and drones, being tall now just makes you a bigger target. The short are also inherent conservationists, which is more crucial than ever in this world of eight billion.

Thomas Samaras, who has been studying height for 40 years and is known in small circles as the Godfather of Shrink Think, a widely unknown philosophy that considers small superior, calculated that if we kept our proportions the same but were just 10 percent shorter in America alone, we would save 87 million tons of food per year (not to mention trillions of gallons of water, quadrillions of B.T.U.s of energy and millions of tons of trash).

Altman’s solution?

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When you mate with shorter people, you’re potentially saving the planet by shrinking the needs of subsequent generations. Lowering the height minimum for prospective partners on your dating profile is a step toward a greener planet.

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Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of the earth’s growing population and global warming, they may also be best suited for long-term survival (and not just because more of us will be able to jam into spaceships when we are forced off this planet we wrecked).

Red State Linky Poo

My commentary in a separate post forthcoming...
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2023, 04:56:21 PM »
There are at least three things a person can't control when they are born: One's race, one's gender (because science says there are only two: everyone is born with either an innie or an outie), no can you control what height you'll grow to.

What are us taller folks supposed to do, just cut off a foot from our lower legs to save the planet? Liberalism is truly a mental disorder. :mental: :mental: :mental:
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2023, 05:43:46 PM »
...What are us taller folks supposed to do, just cut off a foot from our lower legs to save the planet? Liberalism is truly a mental disorder. :mental: :mental: :mental:

Nope.
Don't know about you, but my gorgeously long-legged wife and I - and probably our 6'-6" son as well, come to think - plan to "mad minute" the little bastards when they come to round us all up for being too destructive to the environment.

They haven't SEEN "destructive" yet...  :evil: :bwah:
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Offline dutch508

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2023, 05:44:47 PM »
Nope.
Don't know about you, but my gorgeously long-legged wife and I - and probably our 6'-6" son as well, come to think - plan to "mad minute" the little bastards when they come to round us all up for being too destructive to the environment.

They haven't SEEN "destructive" yet...  :evil: :bwah:

Aim low...
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Offline Eupher

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2023, 05:49:32 PM »
Altman and Thunberg belong in a circus -- kinda like the bearded lady, only more dangerous. Ergo, keeping them in a cage when they're not on exhibit would be the thing to do. Aw, hell, keep them in a cage when they're on exhibit would be safer.

These critters should be studied to determine just how they became stupid. I'm sure that didn't occur at birth -- it had to have happened along the way.
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Offline ABC-2

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2023, 05:55:04 PM »
There are at least three things a person can't control when they are born: One's race, one's gender (because science says there are only two: everyone is born with either an innie or an outie), no can you control what height you'll grow to.

What are us taller folks supposed to do, just cut off a foot from our lower legs to save the planet? Liberalism is truly a mental disorder. :mental: :mental: :mental:

Stay just as you are darlin' ...

I like taller men just as they were born to be. Both Mr. ABC and our son are taller than I am, and I like looking up to them when speaking directly to them for some reason. I do! I do!

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" being tall is a widely held fantasy of superiority that long ago should have been retired."

Bah!  Such complete & utter rubbish!  :thatsright:

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2023, 08:00:12 AM »
Nope.
Don't know about you, but my gorgeously long-legged wife and I - and probably our 6'-6" son as well, come to think - plan to "mad minute" the little bastards when they come to round us all up for being too destructive to the environment.


Probably like every rational human (which excludes leftists), I don't judge people by height, religion or the color of their skin. There are far more significant traits that make me want to hang around another person, especially intelligence and a sense of sarcastic humor.

But I was remiss in not posting this classic parody song from 1977:

https://youtu.be/8bfyS-S-IJs?t=65
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2023, 08:13:13 AM »
Aim low...

Still debating whether to shoot from kneeling or prone, to get down on their level so to speak, or remain standing and retain the high ground.  :-)
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Offline FlaGator

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Re: NYT Says 'Short People' Have Smaller 'Carbon Footprints'
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2023, 02:28:40 PM »
Short people got no reason,
short People got no reason,
short people got no reason
to live
got no reason to live
They got little hands,
little eyes,
they walk around telling great big lies.
They got little noses and tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet
Well I don't want no short people,
don't want no short people,
don't want no short people 'round here.
Short people are just the same as you and I,
all men are brothers until the day they die.
It's a wonderful world.
Short people got nobody,
short people got nobody,
short people got nobody to love.
They got little baby legs,
they stand so low,
you got to pick 'em up just to say hello.
They got little cars that go beep beep beep,
they got little voices going peep peep peep.
Well I don't want no short people,
don't want no short people,
don't want no short people 'round here.
Short people got no reason,
short people got no reason,
short people got no reason to live,
got no reason to live.
Short people are just the same as you and I.
It's a wonderful world,
it's a wonderful world.
"My enemy's enemy is the enemy I kill last."
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