ybbor (1,462 posts)
Having a hard time here [View all]
Sitting, watching football as the year comes to a close. Feeling very down. Reflecting on my year and life at this time.
Very lonely
I’m in a pretty shitty marriage with an amazing daughter.
I don’t have any friends in my town, after leaving a large group of friends almost two decades ago due to horrible depression. Actually, tomorrow will mark 19 years since my “escape” from that town. Still think it may have been a mistake.
My wife and I have hardly anything in common. In fact she hates most of the things I love: music, camping, hiking, skiing, sports, going out drinking, and so much more.
We met right when I moved “home” and we had some friends in common from our youth. She helped me get through my depression and I somehow felt obligated to marry her for “saving” me. Other than our daughter being born, they have really been some of the shittiest years of my life.
I’m too much of a ***** to kill myself, and have had too many friends do so and I know how it effects the survivors. I would never want to do that to my daughter, but really have no real desire to live anymore. The only thing keeping me going is the next season of “ The Mandalorian” coming out.
I’m sorry for the rant, but I have no one to talk to as having no friends. I come here everyday, and use to be an active member until meeting pushback during the 2016 election cycle as a vocal backer of a candidate who did not get the ticket. Since then I have mainly been a lurker with a few comments here and there.
Just putting this down has been somewhat helpful, but don’t feel too excited about another crummy year ahead. I feel like I’m just waiting to die, and fear my funeral will only have tumbleweeds present. Pretty much sucks to be me.
Sorry so long, and I’m sure most won’t read.
Hope your new year is looking better than mine.
I do love so many of you who I don’t even know.
Cheers
This is yet another story of self-inflicted misery.
Lefty boy meets lefty girl. Lefty spineless boy leans on lefty girl to make up for the spine he lacks. Lefty spineless boy feels beholdened to lefty girl, and marries her as if he owes her. Lefty girl loses all respect for spineless lefty boy, becuase as polls have repeatedly shown along with anecdote after anecdote after anecdote, even lefty women want a masculine man, not a latte sipping pajama-boy spineless lefty wimp. And so lefty boy is in a marriage, with a child involved, to a lefty girl who leaves him feeling lonely even on the holidays.
Give your balls a downward tug,they aren't dropping on their own, lefty.
I'm waiting on the followup that states 'I always do my share of chores around the house and make sure she has spending money and a comfortable life, and I support her like a good feminist should..." to top off this self-inflicted shit sandwich.
