The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Eupher on December 23, 2022, 08:27:38 PM

Title: A Snow Thing
Post by: Eupher on December 23, 2022, 08:27:38 PM
Received via email:

We received about 3 inches of snow yesterday and

8:00 am: I made snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 - Then they accused me of using a black face on the snowperson.
 
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow women? I replied "Snowballs?" and am now a sexist.
 
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 – Far-left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.

9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman..
 
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
Title: Re: A Snow Thing
Post by: ABC-2 on December 25, 2022, 10:51:08 AM
"There ain't no moral to this story.  It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes."

 Enjoyed every word of it!

~ ABC :hi5:
Title: Re: A Snow Thing
Post by: RuralNc on December 26, 2022, 06:57:36 AM
I can actually envision seeing this on the local news.  :popcorn:
Title: Re: A Snow Thing
Post by: Texacon on December 26, 2022, 07:53:23 AM
 :lmao:


KC
Title: Re: A Snow Thing
Post by: DefiantSix on December 26, 2022, 10:21:00 AM
I can actually envision seeing this on the local news.  :popcorn:

Being described in exactly those terms.  :thatsright: