the fizzy one has marital problems

[franksolich]

mopinko (40,491 posts)    Tue Mar 18, 2014, 10:45 AM

4. just want to say that he should have his own, too.

if the sessions dont go well, i would press him to go himself, and figure out what he wants.
 
i know it rarely helps to get shoved into therapy, but….

dh is finally in therapy. i hope it helps. he doesn't believe that i really do want him to do his own thing. he just feels like he needs me to do his thing with him. i try, but it is never right.

fizzgig (19,776 posts)    Tue Mar 18, 2014, 03:08 PM

5. i've been on him for years to go

and he flat out refuses, saying he doesn't want to give money to a stranger just to listen to him talk. part of me wonders if us going together is going to make a difference because he's going into it with the attitude it won't work, but we're going to try. an old neighbor of my family is still practicing and she's in network, so i'm thinking about starting with her to address the stranger issue. this, of course, is dependent upon how she'd bill it. we have full mental health coverage, but no coverage for this type of counseling. if that becomes an issue, the university offers counseling services through the psych department.
 
i'm also making a neuro appointment for him. he went face first into the back of a parked car while riding his bike when we first met and never had it checked out. he thinks that might also be related to the changes in mood and behavior over the years.
 
i'm getting my waders ready just in case it turns ugly, though.

mopinko (40,491 posts)    Tue Mar 18, 2014, 08:16 PM

6. i'm jaded

it was awful for me

^^^was especially awful to her soon-to-be-ex-husband; didn't appreciate the guy, even though he catered to her every whim, kowtowed to her slightest wish, gave in to her every time.

fizzgig (19,776 posts)    Wed Mar 19, 2014, 03:05 AM

7. i'm trying to be positive

but every one of the family session we had when i was a kid turned out horribly. the best was the guy who told me it was my fault my sister was sneaking out of the house and doing drugs. parents didn't say anything, just sat there.

mopinko (40,491 posts)    Wed Mar 19, 2014, 11:03 AM

8. yeah, it's one thing to have a nitwit

for a personal therapist, but when you are going to invite people in to throw the dirty laundry around, you gotta be good.

i wonder if there is some sort of adverse selection going on sometimes.

De Leonist (64 posts)    Wed Mar 19, 2014, 03:42 PM

9. Admitting to weakness...

Your story reminds me of how rarely we men will ever actually admit to weakness or deficiency of any kind. I'll admit I don't know your husband but this sounds like what it is to me. It's funny, male behavior nowadays can include sometimes acting vulnerable or emotional. But to actually be vulnerable or emotional, heaven forbid. Anyway I hope your husband works out his issues and your relationship gets better.

^^^wimp.

fizzgig (19,776 posts)   Thu Mar 20, 2014, 05:38 AM

10. thank you

part of it is that male thing, but part of it was the family dynamic of his childhood. we talked about shit in my family, but his won't say shit with a mouthful. he's opened up a lot in the last few days and we've had some productive conversations, so i'm feeling some hope. we're actually working together on this.

[Big Dog]

De Leonist (64 posts)    Wed Mar 19, 2014, 03:42 PM

9. Admitting to weakness...
 

Shut up, you puss.

[DumbAss Tanker]

In another thread http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018589264#post5 , we discover that the Fizzwits really do have issues with prioritizing regarding expenses Husband doesn't work, Fizzwits unhappy in work AND home life, drinks, smokes, spends $ on internet (might be cheaper to use library).  THis happy couple really does have issues.  Hope they haven't reproduced.

Nah, wouldn't work.  The library blocks the porn sites.

[landofconfusion80]

Nah, wouldn't work.  The library blocks the porn sites.

...not all of them...


just sayin'....

[GOBUCKS]

i smoke a bowl, maybe two, after work and it smooths out the edges the meds miss.

Druggies use maybe four or five times as much as they admit, plus Mr. Fizz is a stay-at-home deadbeat now, almost certainly toking up part of her stash.

No wonder the Fizzes are having trouble making ends meet on a single portion of Fizzpay.

[Chris_]

After work?  I thought she was unemployed.  Or am I thinking of another DUmmy?

[Big Dog]

After work?  I thought she was unemployed.  Or am I thinking of another DUmmy?

She works, he doesn't. Fizzy is pissed that she is the breadwinner; so angry that she smokes a ton of weed and goes out and gets shitfaced, then comes home smelling of marijuana, vomit, PBR, and stinky feet- and is doubly pissed that Mr. Fizz ain't goin' for her.

C'mon, Fizzy. It's not rocket surgery. Sober up, brush your teeth, wash up, trim up, tweeze off that mustache, and act like you want to be married... or kick his lazy hippie ass out and take a power-washer to your life.  Just stop whining about it!

[Chris_]

She works, he doesn't. Fizzy is pissed that she is the breadwinner.

So much for feminism.

[Big Dog]

So much for feminism.

Exactly!

I wonder when the Ku Klux Klams will swarm her for that heresy.

Nothing scarier than a bunch of swarming Klams.

[BlueStateSaint]

She works, he doesn't. Fizzy is pissed that she is the breadwinner; so angry that she smokes a ton of weed and goes out and gets shitfaced, then comes home smelling of marijuana, vomit, PBR, and stinky feet- and is doubly pissed that Mr. Fizz ain't goin' for her.

C'mon, Fizzy. It's not rocket surgery. It must be, to the fizzy primitive. Sober up, brush your teeth, wash up, trim up, tweeze off that mustache, and act like you want to be married... or kick his lazy hippie ass out and take a power-washer to your life.  Just stop whining about it!

BD, you know as well as I do that one of the distinguishing features of the Island is that its' inhabitants aren't happy unless they aren't happy, and spreading their unhappiness.  Also, the minor addition above.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Exactly!

I wonder when the Ku Klux Klams will swarm her for that heresy.

Nothing scarier than a bunch of swarming Klams.

Doubtful, they're all about demanding all the traditional privileges of both sexes and none of the off-setting obligations of either.

[Big Dog]

BD, you know as well as I do that one of the distinguishing features of the Island is that its' inhabitants aren't happy unless they aren't happy, and spreading their unhappiness.  Also, the minor addition above.

You're right.

DUmpmonkeys wallow in their misery; resist any opportunity to improve their lives; hate anyone who is not as miserable as they are; and expect their god, the government, to force misery upon anyone who is happy or successful.

There isn't one on the whole Island who could say, without qualification, "I love myself. I love my life. I love my family. I love my country." If one  could, the others would rip that one to shreds like a troop of mandrills.

[67 Rover]

So much for feminism.

 

[Big Dog]

Doubtful, they're all about demanding all the traditional privileges of both sexes and none of the off-setting obligations of either.

I was not as clear with my sarcasm as I should have been. Mea culpa.

You're right, of course. The Klams operate on the same frequency as the race hustlers- only the "privileged" class can be racist, sexist, etc.

[GOBUCKS]

She works, he doesn't. Fizzy is pissed that she is the breadwinner; so angry that she smokes a ton of weed and goes out and gets shitfaced, then comes home smelling of marijuana, vomit, PBR, and stinky feet- and is doubly pissed that Mr. Fizz ain't goin' for her.

That sounds like a preview of the Pitt household.

[Big Dog]

That sounds like a preview of the Pitt household.

It's almost like Fizzy is actually Mrs. Pitiful Pitt.

Hmmm...

[Skul]

It's almost like Fizzy is actually Mrs. Pitiful Pitt.

Hmmm...

Nah, from what I've seen, Mrs. Pitiful Pitt, appears to be well fed and healthy.
Mrs. Pitiful Pitt the Senior, appears to be a crack 'ho.