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Offline franksolich

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Big Bertha is very sad
« on: August 18, 2013, 07:10:30 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018459681

Oh my.

Oh dear, Big Bertha's very sad.

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Bertha Venation (20,755 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:33 PM

One of my cats just brought some prey and I am very sad.

Keeping my cats indoors is not an option. Due to my carefree folly, we have too many. They'd kill each other (or we'd kill them) if they were all indoors all the time.
 
But this is the result. They don't bring us provisions very often, but when they do, it makes me very sad.

For being the "husband" in this civil union, Big Bertha sure isn't very manly.

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CaliforniaPeggy (105,389 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:36 PM

1. Ah, my dear Bertha............this is what they do.

They can't help themselves...

They're being their normal, natural, healthy selves...

Does that help?

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Bertha Venation (20,755 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:41 PM

3. yeah

I just have this problem where I am just too terribly sensitive.

I know it's their nature. I just have to get over it.

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femmocrat (15,262 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:39 PM

2. Don't they do that because they LIKE you?

They bring presents? That is what I always heard, anyhow. Your kitty was just being a good guest!

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Bertha Venation (20,755 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:47 PM

4. heh, there is that, femmocrat

And I don't get mad at them when they do this.

Long ago, my Harry brought me a live mouse, completely unharmed. He dropped it at my feet and it took off -- and damned if he didn't catch it again by slapping his paw down on its tail! Just like in a cartoon. He picked it up again, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I put him down and praised him. He dropped the mouse so he could speak, and I snatched Harry up and took him back into the house and the mouse lived. And Harry was roundly praised and got tuna.

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femmocrat (15,262 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:49 PM

5. I know what you mean though.

I like little mice-type critters and hate to see them suffer. As long as they stay outside!

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hermetic (1,632 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:59 PM

6. have you tried belling?

I put a soft collar on my cat with a jingle bell. It doesn't always work, but seems to mostly. Scares the birds. but he can still pounce on a mouse.

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Bertha Venation (20,755 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 06:19 PM

7. I have not.

Not a bad idea, since he gets after birds, too.

Oh man.  Big Bertha's got to grow some balls, and not be so womanly sentimental.

The eight years franksolich has lived way out here in the middle of nowhere--where the cats have their own entry, and 24/7/365 access in and out--I can't count the number of livestock they've dragged in.

Rabbits, mice, possums, birds of every feather, &c., &c., &c.

One time the cat Leo dragged in a 5' corn snake about as thick as my lower arm.

One gets used to it.

<<<has balls.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2013, 07:13:52 PM »
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Bertha Venation (20,755 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:47 PM

4. heh, there is that, femmocrat

And I don't get mad at them when they do this.

Long ago, my Harry brought me a live mouse, completely unharmed. He dropped it at my feet and it took off -- and damned if he didn't catch it again by slapping his paw down on its tail! Just like in a cartoon. He picked it up again, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I put him down and praised him. He dropped the mouse so he could speak, and I snatched Harry up and took him back into the house and the mouse lived. And Harry was roundly praised and got tuna.

Do I even have to write out the joke?

 :lmao:
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Offline Skul

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2013, 07:15:15 PM »
Bertha needs to get off her scagwhey and run a couple laps.
Cats do their thing, I do mine.


BD, I just saw that.  :rotf:
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2013, 07:16:23 PM »
Quote from: Skul on August 18, 2013, 07:15:15 PM
BD, I just saw that.  :rotf:

I must be dense at the moment; I didn't get it.

<<<goes through alternating periods of density and brilliance.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2013, 09:36:27 PM »
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CaliforniaPeggy (105,389 posts)    Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:36 PM

1. Ah, my dear Bertha............this is what they do.

They can't help themselves...


I'm reminded of Herman Cain talking about the libbies. He said: "The liberal Dems want to take your money and spend it how they see fit. It's what they do... it's who they are."

He is right and they, like the cats, cannot help themselves.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2013, 11:16:29 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on August 18, 2013, 07:16:23 PM
I must be dense at the moment; I didn't get it.
 
Good. I wasn't the only one.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2013, 11:22:35 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on August 18, 2013, 07:16:23 PM
I must be dense at the moment; I didn't get it.

<<<goes through alternating periods of density and brilliance.

You have to have an arrested sense of humor (age 12-14) like BD, Skull & I.
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Offline Aristotelian

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2013, 06:33:11 AM »
This adds an extra dimension to the thread about Bertha and the Big Guy fighting - I can imagine them both weeping as soon as the fight starts.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2013, 06:41:40 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on August 18, 2013, 11:22:35 PM
You have to have an arrested sense of humor (age 12-14) like BD, Skull & I.

Hey, wait a minute! My sense of humor is not arrested. It's very broad, like the very broad broad we are laughing at!

Proof: The Martin Niemoller riff in my sig line. You won't see that every day.   :-)
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Offline hillneck

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2013, 06:45:03 AM »
Maybe Bertha can get with UGP and get some cat tips.    :rotf:
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Offline Aristotelian

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2013, 06:53:27 AM »
Quote from: hillneck on August 19, 2013, 06:45:03 AM
Maybe Bertha can get with UGP and get some cat tips.    :rotf:

Maybe Bertha should offer to re-house U.G.P. once her relatives rescue her mother from her claws.
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Offline Karin

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2013, 07:31:59 AM »
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One time the cat Leo dragged in a 5' corn snake about as thick as my lower arm.

One gets used to it.


Well, I couldn't get used to that.  Was it still alive? 
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2013, 07:43:34 AM »
Quote from: Karin on August 19, 2013, 07:31:59 AM
Well, I couldn't get used to that.  Was it still alive? 

Well, it was one of those things rather too large for a cat to kill.

I picked it up by its tail (not recommended, but--) and flung it out the back door into the back yard, and it slithered away, never to be seen again.

Sometimes one has to do.....what one has to do.

The worst was when the cat George brought in a dead adult rabbit and eviscerated it in the bathroom, blood and guts and gore and fur and rabbit flesh all over in there.  I swear, rabbits must have about ten miles of intestines inside of them.

This was when I got into the habit of, whenever coming back here with a friend, making the friend wait until i've checked out the interior for, uh, surprises, before having the friend come in.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2013, 07:54:48 AM »
Quote from: Karin on August 19, 2013, 07:31:59 AM
Well, I couldn't get used to that.  Was it still alive? 

And come to think of it, maybe Big Bertha's cat Harry would be doing her a favor, dragging a big snake inside the house. 

As you might, or might not, know, Big Bertha's the "husband" in this couple, although she seems rather confused about the role a husband's supposed to play.

An experience like this would encourage Big Bertha to grow some balls.
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Offline Freeper

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2013, 08:01:59 AM »
Back when the Chimp was in office and DU was still fairly new, I recall a DUmmy upset that her cat killed a mouse and asked the other inmates at the DUmp how she could teach her cat right from wrong.

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Offline franksolich

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2013, 08:02:16 AM »
Quote from: Karin on August 19, 2013, 07:31:59 AM
Well, I couldn't get used to that.  Was it still alive? 

I assure you, madam, that if you and I were married, and a snake was in the house, I'd yell at you to get the Hell out of there and, despite my distaste for snakes, deal with it myself.  

<<<am well aware of the role the husband's supposed to play.
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Offline Karin

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2013, 08:43:59 AM »
And I would take you up on your offer immediately.  Now, that dead rabbit has to be the grossest thing you ever saw & dealt with.  I don't think I'd be able to eat for about a week. 
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2013, 08:52:23 AM »
Quote from: Karin on August 19, 2013, 08:43:59 AM
And I would take you up on your offer immediately.  Now, that dead rabbit has to be the grossest thing you ever saw & dealt with.  I don't think I'd be able to eat for about a week. 

I didn't enjoy cleaning it up, but I had company coming (fortunately not for several hours yet).

But this shows why gay "marriage" is a sham.

In a marriage, one has to be a protector, and the other has to be a nuturer.  Usually those roles are filled by the husband and the wife, respectively (although sometimes the roles get reversed, but that's okay, just so long as there's one of each).

In Big Bertha's case, while she relishes the title "husband," she's apparently not willing to take on the responsibilities of the male partner, including dealing with icky things so that the "wife" doesn't have to.

Unless Big Bertha grows some balls, I don't see this "marriage" lasting.
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Offline Rebel

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #18 on: August 19, 2013, 08:56:20 AM »
Quote from: Freeper on August 19, 2013, 08:01:59 AM
Back when the Chimp was in office and DU was still fairly new, I recall a DUmmy upset that her cat killed a mouse and asked the other inmates at the DUmp how she could teach her cat right from wrong.



Then again, there's this:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,72487.0
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Offline vesta111

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2013, 09:33:55 AM »
When one takes an animal into their home one must expect it to act as animal.

Much as to the distress of people that allow another human that acts as an animal into their homes.

Cats are interesting, my two cats caught a mouse in the kitchen, getting ready for work we saw the cats batting the mouse from paw to paw.    We watched as the cats soon got tired of the game and one picked up the mouse and carried it to their water bowl.    Poor mouse paddled about trying to get out but every time it reached the side one of the cats would bat it back in.  My cats were not hungry, just doing what cats do, playing with a potential food, or just for the heck of it.

Came home from work, first thing we did was look in the water bowl, no drowned mouse.   Both cats in the window happy to see us, so where was the mouse ?

I had a small throw rug in front of the kitchen sink looking all pristine and found the Mouse under there.     The cats had placed it there after they tortured it to death and had smothered out the rug so it was not to been seen.     

Animals are just so, they live on instinct cannot expect them to act as human.       On the other hand  with the news today humans are acting more like animals and they are the ones we do not expect to  become a danger to us.
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Offline dutch508

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2013, 09:37:42 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on August 18, 2013, 11:22:35 PM
You have to have an arrested sense of humor (age 12-14) like BD, Skull & I.


Harry kitty
Hairy kitty
Harry ***** cat
Hairy ***** cat
Harry *****
Hairy ...

I could make it more obvious for you, if you need it, Frank...
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #21 on: August 19, 2013, 02:20:53 PM »
Quote from: dutch508 on August 19, 2013, 09:37:42 AM

Harry kitty
Hairy kitty
Harry ***** cat
Hairy ***** cat
Harry *****
Hairy ...

I could make it more obvious for you, if you need it, Frank...

Sometimes I'm not on my toes like I should be, and I wasn't yesterday.

Sorry.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #22 on: August 19, 2013, 02:25:01 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on August 19, 2013, 02:20:53 PM
Sometimes I'm not on my toes like I should be, and I wasn't yesterday.

Sorry.

I, for one, would have been disappointed if you had.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Big Bertha is very sad
« Reply #23 on: August 19, 2013, 02:27:04 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on August 19, 2013, 02:20:53 PM
Sometimes I'm not on my toes like I should be, and I wasn't yesterday.

Sorry.
The best jokes are the ones that have to be explained.
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