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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:02:43 AM

Title: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:02:43 AM
One may vote for ten.  One may also change one's vote if one wishes.

Anyway.

Now that the frost is on the pumpkin, meaning that the year's winding down, one sits back and remembers the days of yore, specifically the primitives of yore.  Primitives who've either left this time and place, or primitives who just swam away from Skins's island.

And with the imminent riding-off-into-the-sunset of Redstone and Systematic Chaos, the list stretches.

Now, normally, we all wish the primitives would hurry up and self-destruct, as they must inevitably, perishing in a frenzied orgiastic paroxysm of rage and Hate, for the Greater Good of Humanity.

And for the planet, too.  The "average" human expels circa 11 tons of solid intestinal matter in his or her lifetime, which is a lot of excresence.  And given the gluttonous nature of the primitives, probably the average primitive dumps a lot more.  One supposes, for example, that Systematic Chaos has put out a virtual Mount Everest.

Alas! poor Mother Gaia! alas!

So yeah, sure, we wish they'd self-extinct, the primitives.  As does the overburdened planet.

However.

One can't watch and study the primitives on Skins's island for any great length of time without acquiring a certain fondness for some of them.

The above's a list of primitives from the past, who aren't around Skins's island any more.  I just pulled them off the top of my head, when recollecting (and thus the "other" option).  Does anyone miss any of these primitives, in a nostalgic sense?
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Ballygrl on September 14, 2011, 08:07:20 AM
I chose hippywife because I like to get away from politics sometimes and the cooking and baking forum gets me away from it, but it's been so darn slow there.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:08:06 AM
I chose hippywife because I like to get away from politics sometimes and the cooking and baking forum gets me away from it, but it's been so darn slow there.

You still have nine more votes, though.

And one can change one's votes later, too.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Chris_ on September 14, 2011, 08:12:43 AM
Can one really "miss" bobolink?  There wasn't a whole lot about her that was positive.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: NHSparky on September 14, 2011, 08:14:11 AM
OMC, hippywife, TiT, and bobo.  Only for the entertainment value.

I would vote for TLB but I don't want to stain her memory by putting her in with those idiots.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: NHSparky on September 14, 2011, 08:15:21 AM
Can one really "miss" bobolink?  There wasn't a whole lot about her that was positive.

Just give a couple of clicks on the scope.  Kidding!

Seriously, she was comedy gold.  Wondering why she decided to drop off the face of DU. 
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:19:17 AM
Can one really "miss" bobolink?  There wasn't a whole lot about her that was positive.

There was nothing about bobbolink that was positive.

Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: NHSparky on September 14, 2011, 08:21:01 AM
There was nothing about bobbolink that was positive.



Hence the entertainment and educational value.  I regard her as an Internet version of a Jerry Springer Show episode.  I look at them, I look at her, and realize that no matter how bad my life gets, I'll never be as ****ed up as THEM.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Ballygrl on September 14, 2011, 08:25:59 AM
You still have nine more votes, though.

And one can change one's votes later, too.

I did think about voting for a few others but I just did the 1 vote simply because that forum was kind of my escape from politics so I miss her the most.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:27:24 AM
I did think about voting for a few others but I just did the 1 vote simply because that forum was kind of my escape from politics so I miss her the most.

Uh huh, as we all do.

<<still sheds tears over the unhappy fate of hippywife Mrs. Afred Packer.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Karin on September 14, 2011, 08:32:57 AM
I can't stand the guy, but I miss Hawkeye-X, because he was such a quintessential DUmmie.  I did choose TiT and BouncyBall for the entertainment value.  Also OMC for the way he smacked the DUmmies around, and Hippywife because we have a certain affection for her. 
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:38:19 AM
I can't stand the guy, but I miss Hawkeye-X, because he was such a quintessential DUmmie.

I thought about putting the cross-eyed Iowa primitive on the list, but disremember why I didn't--hence the "other" option here.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 14, 2011, 08:43:19 AM
I miss BoBo the hobo........I have a soft spot for old BUICKs.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 08:46:50 AM
I miss BoBo the hobo........I have a soft spot for old BUICKs.

Nominations for the top DUmmies are coming up in ten weeks, and this thread was created specifically for "reference material" when the "lifetime achievement award" is considered (i.e., it'll be linked with the nomination thread).

Thinking about it now, saves on pressure during the nomination holiday.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: FiddyBeowulf on September 14, 2011, 09:16:21 AM
Bouncy Ball and TiT for the entertainment value and Bobo for the amazing ability to make any thread concerned with any aspect of poverty about her. The way she was able to shoot down any dissenting opinion with her "I live in a car so shut up" gambit was pure idiot-savant like genius.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Skul on September 14, 2011, 09:19:14 AM
We need another poll thrown up, to pick the current ones we'd love to miss. :-)
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on September 14, 2011, 10:04:33 AM
My vote was more-or-less evenly split between those who had the lucid moments which fueled some great flamewars (OMC, TLB, etc.) and those truly over-the-edge idiots that make DU what it is (Mythsaje, flyarm, Bobo the Hobo, etc.).
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: commonguymd on September 14, 2011, 11:14:54 AM
Ben "the fist" Burch always brought top dollar comedic value for your pixel entertainment.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: 67 Rover on September 14, 2011, 11:29:11 AM
Stella Blue, TominTib, Bouncyball, Diseased American, and other because I do actually miss OLL (old lefty lawyer).

Edited to add: Has Bobo actually been tombstoned?  Would someone be kind enough to post a link please? Thanks!

Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: shadeaux on September 14, 2011, 11:37:10 AM
I miss all the liquored up drunks and druggies in the Lounge.  Many nights I stayed up laughing and being shocked by their fights.

The good old days.    :-)
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Splashdown on September 14, 2011, 11:48:55 AM
Distressed American for his purely mornonic "PhD" viewpoints.

TominTib because, well, he kicked Rambo and John Wayne's ass that time in 'Nam while in the Marines working as an Army Ranger on a SEAL team...or something.

And OMC because he had a little real class.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Odin's Hand on September 14, 2011, 11:59:51 AM
Fister and TiT were the hype "men" for DU. Always calling for murders of Freepers, etc.

armyowalgreens is another that is missed.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on September 14, 2011, 12:11:49 PM
Bouncy Ball, for obvious reasons.  :bouncy:
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Karin on September 14, 2011, 12:22:01 PM
Oh, ArmyoWalgreens, I forgot about him.  He was such a dumb loser, always getting himself in a bind and never learning from it.  I believe he wanted to go to college to major in Phillosophy, but I don't believe he lasted the semester.  Wasn't it him who went apoplectic when his Econ prof insisted on covering Reaganomics? 
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Odin's Hand on September 14, 2011, 12:32:18 PM
MoPaul/Philosoraptor is another. Bringing down the Secret Service on $kinner's office was a stroke of brillance.

ETA: Whatever happened to that turd BuzzClik/PitViper/LiberalGuy? I haven't seen him floating around over in the toilet in a bit.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: RWKindaGuy on September 14, 2011, 12:36:15 PM
Bouncy Ball, for obvious reasons.  :bouncy:

Bouncy Ball and Truth is All were two of my favorites.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: thundley4 on September 14, 2011, 12:51:11 PM
There was another that tweaked the DUmmies quite often when it came to matters of law enforcement.  He was or is a cop, and usually stood up for the cops. I can't remember his name though.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: micmac on September 14, 2011, 01:13:13 PM
I have not missed any of them.  Well, maybe Bobbo.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: ChuckJ on September 14, 2011, 01:16:22 PM
There was another that tweaked the DUmmies quite often when it came to matters of law enforcement.  He was or is a cop, and usually stood up for the cops. I can't remember his name though.

I remember who you're talking about, but I can't remember his DU name. I might be wrong, but it seemed like he visited CU a time or two. After getting DU granite maybe?

I think grey hair kills memory cells.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Splashdown on September 14, 2011, 01:41:37 PM
Which one got angry at the head of cabbage? That post was another of my all time favorites.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Odin's Hand on September 14, 2011, 01:50:49 PM
Which one got angry at the head of cabbage? That post was another of my all time favorites.

"Horse with no name": active
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: delilahmused on September 14, 2011, 01:57:55 PM
I haven't seen MissWaverly, the dust bunny queen, for a long time either. She literally made it possible for Andy to have his surgery because her super sleuthing skills and Johns Hopkins decoder ring led her to the mail supervisor's desk where the missing check was found. She also thinks the appropriate response of a woman who just had an abortion is "well, that sucked!"

Cindie
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: delilahmused on September 14, 2011, 02:00:15 PM
Which one got angry at the head of cabbage? That post was another of my all time favorites.

My favorite is definitely the UGP pineapple post.

Cindie
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: gore_bites on September 14, 2011, 03:31:31 PM
DA......he was out there....did we ever find out the real deal with him and his 'sister'?
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: miskie on September 14, 2011, 04:18:43 PM
DistressedAmerican - His animations sucked, and his relationship with his sister was 'curious'....

Tangerine LaBamba - She was a Dem, but certainly knew how to dish it out.

Walt Starr - So, very very VERY angry... Laugh out loud riot !

OperationMindCrime - The best mole operation ever.

RandomKoolZip - Random Kool Aid is more like it..

BenBurch - Taught the primitives everything they needed to know about orgies..
       
bobbolink - Dead ? Alive ? in jail ? ultramole ? who knows ?
        
BouncyBall - I liked BouncyBall - yeah, her tales of bouncification were ridiculous lies, but she was a happy go lucky primitive. A rare find.        

TominTib - Hopefully the Airforce Ranger SEALs are putting his talents to good use.

Soleil - One of the few sensible ones, who left on her own accord. Good for her.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 14, 2011, 04:29:05 PM
What about TwixVoy?

And it's sad we don't have greenbriar. She's posting once in a while under the
new handle, but she sounds like greenbriar after a lobotomy and fifty shock treatments.

It would also be nice to have more input from the Las Vegas Lardass, and our other leviathan, the chinless 'Bama Butterball.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Duke Nukum on September 14, 2011, 04:54:31 PM
While I chose ten, in some cases names I haven't thought of in a long time, I specifically chose Ben Burch because he did it all. Fabulist, stalker on many levels, ideas man, thug, archivist of radio shows nobody wanted to listen to in the first place, issuer of goonish threats, gardener....etc.

Nadin could learn a thing or two about hats from following old Fat Che around.

I think Fat Che's greatest idea was on some specific day, I forget which, to go to the federal building in whatever city and glare at it with a clenched fist. Pure genius in its idiocy.

Today's DUmmies just don't try, for the most part. In part, it is our fault. We don't demand more and where else are we going to go? If there was a more entertaining loony bin we would be there.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:25:42 PM
We need another poll thrown up, to pick the current ones we'd love to miss. :-)

That's usually the Top Ten DUmmies, in December.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:37:00 PM
Ben "the fist" Burch always brought top dollar comedic value for your pixel entertainment.

I wonder if he's still administrator on the Rancid Rhodes message board.  I registered to post there--using "franksolich," of course--right after he became an administrator, and the squalid creep rejected it.

I dunno what anybody else thinks, but I always considered my monicker for him, "Fat Che," the best nickname I ever gave a primitive.  It was derived from a photograph of him law enforcement showed me back in 2005.

Fat Che was always advocating violence and revolution, including the assassination of George Bush and other decent and civilized people. 

In real life, Fat Che was (or is) a near-sighted asthmatic older 325-350 pound behemoth, his belly hanging down in front of him as if an apron.

And so the "picture" emerged right away; a big old near-sighted fat guy with an angry scowl, wearing a bandana and cradling a machine-gun, storming the ramparts, his belly flip-flapping in front of him. 
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:38:46 PM
Has Bobo actually been tombstoned?  Would someone be kind enough to post a link please? Thanks!

Not that any are aware of; she just seems to have gone away, ridden off into the sunset saying no "goodbye" to tell us she was leaving.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:39:46 PM
armyowalgreens is another that is missed.

Ooops, that was another one I forgot to think about.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:42:18 PM
MoPaul/Philosoraptor is another. Bringing down the Secret Service on $kinner's office was a stroke of brillance.

Damn, you're good, sir.

MoPaul was another classic that slipped this mind.

I don't recall that he was banned; it seemed as if he just went away with no fanfare at all.

Either that, or his wife finally got him committed to the insane asylum, where he'd belonged a long time before then.

Quote
Whatever happened to that turd BuzzClik/PitViper/LiberalGuy? I haven't seen him floating around over in the toilet in a bit.

It's been at least a year, it not more, since I've seen him.
[/quote]
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:45:08 PM
Bouncy Ball and Truth is All were two of my favorites.

Damn.  Truth is All escaped this memory too.

It wasn't Truth in All, but it was another primitive (whose name I long ago forgot) using Truth in All's method, to prove that Walter Mundane "almost" carried Georgia against Ronald Reagan in 1984.

I never looked up the actual numbers, but I reasonably assume Reagan carried Georgia in 1984 with rather comfortable irrefutable numbers.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:46:28 PM
There was another that tweaked the DUmmies quite often when it came to matters of law enforcement.  He was or is a cop, and usually stood up for the cops. I can't remember his name though.

You sly one, sir.

That's our current much-esteemed member vadawg.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:47:50 PM
DA......he was out there....did we ever find out the real deal with him and his 'sister'?

No, the mystery's still there, and the DysfunctionalAmerican never illuminated us.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:49:48 PM
Walt Starr - So, very very VERY angry... Laugh out loud riot !

Walt was great.

Rumor is that Walt Starr might, or might not, have been either RalphWiggum's mole or franksolich's mole.

For whatever a rumor's worth.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 05:59:35 PM
What about TwixVoy?

Damn again.  This is why many heads are better than one.  I forgot all about him.

Quote
And it's sad we don't have greenbriar. She's posting once in a while under the new handle, but she sounds like greenbriar after a lobotomy and fifty shock treatments.

I really didn't think she'd come back, and I'm disheartened at my fellow alum Skins for allowing her back, as she's obviously got a great many mental problems, and hanging around Skins's island didn't do her any good.

My theory about her disappearance and then sudden reappearance is that either hubby or the school, or both, sent her in for some rather intensive psychiatric or psychological measures, and after greenbriar thought she was "cured," she came back.

Quote
It would also be nice to have more input from the Las Vegas Lardass.....

I think alas it's pretty much a "given" that Systematic Chaos, or Ege Bamyasi, has run away like a scared little bunny rabbit, which is too bad.  After all, he made his greatest weight-losses while under the glare of our gentle illumination.

Like some other primitives, the gigantic primitive is probably telling others we decent and civilized people keep him from posting, which as usual is a lie.  No one here has ever obstructed, barred, or discouraged a single primitive from posting anywhere.

Quote
.....and our other leviathan, the chinless 'Bama Butterball.

One suspects that because all of her dreams of being a video star haven't amounted to as much as the little heiferette had hoped, she's now back in Alabama, waiting on tables at the local restaurant--or something like that--and is too ashamed to let anyone know.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Duke Nukum on September 14, 2011, 06:39:38 PM


One suspects that because all of her dreams of being a video star haven't amounted to as much as the little heiferette had hoped, she's now back in Alabama, waiting on tables at the local restaurant--or something like that--and is too ashamed to let anyone know.
This is sheer fantasy on my part but I like to think Ava or Eva, whatever her name was, got a summer job interning at FNC and found out they were, for the most part, good and decent civilized folk, and had a mild conversion. Or she is just too ashamed to report to the DUmp she was a FNC intern. Either way.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: vadawg on September 14, 2011, 07:28:13 PM
Got to be vadawg that Guy was a genius and shined on the dump.  He raised the IQ level by a hundred points on every thread he posted on.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: franksolich on September 14, 2011, 07:33:38 PM
Got to be vadawg that Guy was a genius and shined on the dump.  He raised the IQ level by a hundred points on every thread he posted on.

Well, we thought so, too, sir.

You did good.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 14, 2011, 09:11:39 PM
This is sheer fantasy on my part but I like to think Ava or Eva, whatever her name was, got a summer job interning at FNC and found out they were, for the most part, good and decent civilized folk, and had a mild conversion. Or she is just too ashamed to report to the DUmp she was a FNC intern. Either way.
No fat chicks at FNC.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: thundley4 on September 14, 2011, 09:14:36 PM
No fat chicks at FNC.

True.  They have little farewells for many of their interns on TV and most of them have been cute.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Boudicca on September 14, 2011, 09:21:19 PM
Just give a couple of clicks on the scope.  Kidding!

Seriously, she was comedy gold.  Wondering why she decided to drop off the face of DU. 

Her Hobo Ship sailed into the harbor?  She was snatched up by aliens looking for weird lifeforms on Earth?  Her anti-middleclass banner smacked her ass over teakettle into Obummer's fake Grecian columns?
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Skul on September 14, 2011, 09:32:23 PM
Her Hobo Ship sailed into the harbor?  She was snatched up by aliens looking for weird lifeforms on Earth?  Her anti-middleclass banner smacked her ass over teakettle into Obummer's fake Grecian columns?
Nah, city library threw her sorry ass out because she stunk to high heaven, and spooked the regulars.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Duke Nukum on September 14, 2011, 09:33:30 PM
No fat chicks at FNC.
My other fantasy is she interned for MSLSD and was literally scared conservative.
Title: Re: poll: which primitives do you miss the most?
Post by: Boudicca on September 14, 2011, 09:53:59 PM
Nah, city library threw her sorry ass out because she stunk to high heaven, and spooked the regulars.

And imagine how the Buick smells by now.  MAJOR gas mask worthy health hazard. :p