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Author Topic: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich  (Read 2719 times)

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Offline Dori

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Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« on: January 10, 2014, 01:08:25 PM »
Quote
Demo_Chris (4,949 posts)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=551299

Wife and Daughter are furious. I tried to cook a grilled cheese sandwich... 

Here's what happened. I saw on a youtube video that you make a grilled cheese by putting cheese between bread and cooking it in a pan. I decided I could do that pretty easy and surprise everyone by showing off my cooking prowess. So I got out a stainless steel pan and put my bread and cheese in there. So far so good.

But the cheese wasn't melting, while the bread started burning around the edges. So I turned it over and smooshed it down but the bread kept burning. I figured maybe I just need oil so I dump some canola in there. But then the ****ing plastic spatula starts to melt on me. By now the kitchen is full of smoke and the last half inch of the spatula is melted off. WHO IN THE HELL MAKES SPATULAS OUT OF MELTABLE STUFF?! That's freaking silly! Anyway....

I decided that sandwich was pretty much garbage, with the blackened bread and the plastic on it and all. Plus the pan was still smoking and it smelled pretty toxic, so I set that out back and got a Teflon pan. This time I though ahead and instead of a plastic spatula I grabbed a metal one. I put plenty of the canola oil in the pan and tossed in my bread. But that wasn't working well either because the bread just got all soggy in the oil and despite being Teflon it STILL stuck to the stupid pan.

I was just scraping it out when my daughter came in all freaking out wanting to know what in the hell I was doing. Then my wife showed up. I explained to them about the defective plastic spatula but for whatever reason they seem to somehow think all this was my fault. Then my wife spots the stainless pan out back, and it does look kinda bad with the plastic melted in there, but even so it hardly justifies her reaction.

Anyway, my daughter made me two sandwiches and they were good.



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Offline Carl

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2014, 01:16:26 PM »
There is nothing too simple for a DUmbass to screw up.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2014, 01:16:39 PM »
The smartest people in the world.
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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2014, 01:39:44 PM »
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2014, 01:45:06 PM »
That made my day.

Thanks for bringing it over, Dori.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2014, 01:46:39 PM »
:rofl: :lmao: :rotf:
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2014, 02:04:31 PM »
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2014, 02:18:59 PM »
I searched youtube for grilled cheese sandwich recipes, and every single video that came up goes into great detail on how to cook a really simple sandwich.  I can't imagine how he could **** that up.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2014, 02:21:27 PM »
Considering he has a Darwin thing as an avatar, I think his wife and child should allow him to starve.

It's only fitting.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2014, 02:24:36 PM »
Quote from: JakeStyle on January 10, 2014, 02:18:59 PM
I searched youtube for grilled cheese sandwich recipes, and every single video that came up goes into great detail on how to cook a really simple sandwich.  I can't imagine how he could **** that up.

It sounds like he forgot to butter the bread. :loser:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2014, 02:25:46 PM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on January 10, 2014, 02:24:36 PM
It sounds like he forgot to butter the bread. :loser:
And had the pan(s) way too hot.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2014, 02:28:15 PM »
Quote from: Chris_ on January 10, 2014, 02:25:46 PM
And had the pan(s) way too hot.

I love this line from the OP:

Quote
I decided I could do that pretty easy and surprise everyone by showing off my cooking prowess.

Dude, if you though making something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich would show off your "cooking prowess", I suggest going back to pouring a bowl of cereal.  Although a genius like you would probably screw that up too.
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Offline Karin

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2014, 02:29:07 PM »
He even had YouTube instructions!  DUmbass ruined a perfectly good pan.   :rant:
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2014, 02:31:50 PM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on January 10, 2014, 02:28:15 PM
Dude, if you though making something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich would show off your "cooking prowess", I suggest going back to pouring a bowl of cereal.  Although a genius like you would probably screw that up too.

I expect he has all sorts of "prowess" problems.
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Offline tanstaafl

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2014, 02:53:40 PM »
Quote from: Karin on January 10, 2014, 02:29:07 PM
He even had YouTube instructions!  DUmbass ruined a perfectly good pan.   :rant:

Actually, two pans. Don't forget he used a metal spatula on the Teflon coated pan. Which was what the ex-plastic spatula was for.
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Offline freedumb2003b

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2014, 02:56:30 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on January 10, 2014, 01:45:06 PM
That made my day.

Thanks for bringing it over, Dori.

Dori rocks that way...

:)
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Offline jukin

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #16 on: January 10, 2014, 03:05:49 PM »
Beautiful find Dori!!

 :cheersmate:

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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2014, 03:19:25 PM »
Can't wait for him to try hard boiled eggs.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2014, 03:23:35 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on January 10, 2014, 03:19:25 PM
Can't wait for him to try hard boiled eggs.

I think he's learned his lesson and will use plenty of oil for that.
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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2014, 03:33:12 PM »
Things that DUmmies can ruin:

1 Rocks

2 Boiling water

3 Chili

4 Pizza

5 BBQ

6 Spaghetti

7 Grilled cheese sammich



to be continued.......
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Offline Reality vs DU

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2014, 05:20:16 PM »
 :thatsright:

And we're the stupid ones.  It's a ****ing grilled cheese sandwich!

Cooking prowess  :rotf:
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2014, 05:32:31 PM »
DUmmie Dimo could destroy an anvil in a sandbox, using a rubber hammer!

Most DUmmies can't handle anything with a number on it higher than their IQ, which is usually half their shoe size.
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Offline Reality vs DU

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2014, 05:41:07 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on January 10, 2014, 05:32:31 PM
DUmmie Dimo could destroy an anvil in a sandbox, using a rubber hammer!

No way.  That would require some effort.  Dumbasses are rare creatures, they can **** up a **** up.
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2014, 05:43:23 PM »
Quote from: Reality vs DU on January 10, 2014, 05:41:07 PM
No way.  That would require some effort.  Dumbasses are rare creatures, they can **** up a **** up.

To be fair, he did expend some effort f'n up a f'n cheese sandwich.

Twice!   :lmao:
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline DUmpsterDiver

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Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
« Reply #24 on: January 10, 2014, 05:51:09 PM »
Quote from: Wineslob on January 10, 2014, 03:33:12 PM
Things that DUmmies can ruin:

0. America
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