« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Not sure about how.....  (Read 2667 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14447
  • Reputation: +781/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Not sure about how.....
« on: August 25, 2010, 03:01:46 PM »
to handle this.
A good friend of ours invited us to stay at Monterey, just up the road from Asliomar State Park. The trip was all his dime, and a big dime it was. I couldn't thank him enough, and we did have a good time...............most of the time. We escaped to the beach often. (I've got a great tan  :-)  )
His girlfriend, whom we have known, as long as him, (nearly 10 years) has always had......errr......issues. They seem to be getting worse though, much worse.

Some history:
He's divorced, with 2 daughters, (they switch visitation between bio mom and him) one 6 months older than our daughter, the other 2 years younger. The girls get along fabulously.
The girlfriend has always been "odd". Rather bossy, prone to crying fits, a TERRIBLE "I know more than you do" type. However it was only now and then that she was like this.
Now she throws daily crying fits, sometimes 2, over explains everything, constantly interjects herself, pretty much has to explain just how SPECIAL she is, and "understands things" in a completely different way than YOU ( it's soooo much better), and is obviously alienating the older daughter. (she's 13)
She essentially acts like a petulant 5 YO that is pissed that she didn't get her way, 24/7...................... however she's in her mid 30's.
Put it this way, it's SO bad that I really don't want to be around her, and honestly after 4 days around her I'm mentally exhausted.
The thing is, for short periods we see the person we like, but then she'll "shutdown", and become dour again. You can see this happen in her face.
She's almost never happy, because "something" just isn't going her way. "It's just so UNFAIR". We hear this all the time. (yes I know, she sounds like a DUmmie.................on crack)
My wife and I are damn sure there's some sort of mental illness going on here, and feel that she needs help. Our main concern is the kids, who do not need to be around this behaviour. We don't know how, or if, we should breech this subject with her better half, who is a great guy. We still don't know why he puts up with this stuff.

He wants to get together later this year, but with her craziness, I just want to pass.
Any ideas?

Logged
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +768/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: Not sure about how.....
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2010, 03:11:06 PM »
Wow.  You just described a girl I used to call friend that lives in Houston.  To a T.  Although the kids are hers. 

However, in my particular situation this one is simply going through her midlife crisis early, to the extent of cheating on my buddy, who is still so enamoured with her he is gonna give it another go.  (Much to the dismay of his entire family I might add.) 

Last weekend, a birthday was celebrated by her niece, who turned 2.  The parents, asked that she not attend the party, because this event was not going to turn into a celebration of HER. 

It might not be a mental issue, it may just be narcissistic wanderings.  How does your buddy feel about her displays?

I agree with you in your concern for the children.  I wish I had a good answer for you.  But, if you figure it out, perhaps you could let me know.  I loathe the toxicity of this particular situation, especially for the kiddos.  That stuff leaves a mark. 
Logged
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14447
  • Reputation: +781/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Re: Not sure about how.....
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2010, 05:34:40 PM »
Quote
It might not be a mental issue, it may just be narcissistic wanderings.  How does your buddy feel about her displays?

He essentially ignores her....up to a point( if she throws a fit/crys he'll acquiesce). He does make snide remarks, but they seem to go over her head, could be willful ignorance.
Whats awful are the constant "now, children, I know you're too stupid to understand, so I'll go over this again" explanations for EVERYTHING.

Actually, she may be the worst narcissist I've ever seen.
Logged
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline debk

  • Topic Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12473
  • Reputation: +467/-58
Re: Not sure about how.....
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2010, 05:52:10 PM »
Give it some time....and it might not be an issue any more!

We have a friend that dated someone like that too, years ago. They lived up in Cincy, so at least we didn't have to be around them all the time! Same thing, in her early 30's and EVERY time we were around them....they had a fight! Didn't matter where we were....at their place, or out in public. I especially liked it when she went nuts in a restaurant..... :censored: Eventually he saw the light....and ended it. I think it came to the point though, where his friends up there basically said, "don't bring her around!" She stalked him for a while, but that ended too.

If your friend is already starting to ignore her, instead of giving in to her "demands"....he's mentally already on the way out.

Also, if she's nasty to the kids... especially since they are girls...one, they will tell their mother, and two, they will either start complaining a lot to your friend...or, depending on their age - they will tell her to go to hell.

He won't want his ex on his case regarding how his GF treats his daughters. It will piss him off and also be demeaning to him.

IF he has a good relationship with his daughters, he will not want to alienate them.

If he doesn't care how she treats his daughters, and choses her over his girls....do you really want to hang with him?
Logged
Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1997/-134
Re: Not sure about how.....
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2010, 05:53:03 PM »
Quote from: Wineslob on August 25, 2010, 05:34:40 PM
He essentially ignores her....up to a point( if she throws a fit/crys he'll acquiesce). He does make snide remarks, but they seem to go over her head, could be willful ignorance.
Whats awful are the constant "now, children, I know you're too stupid to understand, so I'll go over this again" explanations for EVERYTHING.

Actually, she may be the worst narcissist I've ever seen.

That may an attempt at liberal parenting skills. There was a moonbat who's son played soccer on my son's team. Something as simple as telling him to blow his nose took a 15 minute discussion when a simple "Here boy. Blow your nose." was all that was needed.
Logged
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +768/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: Not sure about how.....
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2010, 07:13:22 PM »
Maybe you should do what we did.  Tell him you would love to see him and his girls, but the woman seems a little too high maintenance, and it ruins the fun of hanging with him. 
Logged
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14447
  • Reputation: +781/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Re: Not sure about how.....
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2010, 12:20:56 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on August 25, 2010, 07:13:22 PM
Maybe you should do what we did.  Tell him you would love to see him and his girls, but the woman seems a little too high maintenance, and it ruins the fun of hanging with him. 

Thats pretty much my intentions at this point.

Thanks for the input guys.   :cheersmate:
Logged
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »