I'm doing everything I can do to make it so.
From where I'm sitting, the only thing that can possibly make the primitives interesting again is a Republican wipe-out of the Democrats in November. If that happens, the primitives'll pop like popcorn again.
One saw vague signs of the beginning of the primitive malaise in November 2006, when they came out on top during the mid-term elections. Even though the Magic One won the White House two years later, and the primitives controlled both houses of Congress by substantial margins, the primitives still withered, as if they weren't excited at all about holding the reins of power.
And now with their time in power--they still after all have the White House, half the Congress, and have owned the Supreme Court since the mid-1950s--the primitives seem to have given up even trying to be interesting any more.
In fact, it might not be a bad idea to call off the
Top DUmmies of 2012, as the field's pretty empty.
The classic example of their decline is of course the cooking and baking forum, which is like a cemetery now, despite the hostess Lu's cherubic nature and best efforts to keep it humming along. It used to be the biggest of the "small forums," but then hippyhubby Wild Bill, jealous of all the attention hippywife Mrs. Alfred Packer was giving it instead of him, forced her to give it up.
The sparkling husband dude had helped it along, but then his trophy wife got all worried about his health--he was getting too upset and agitated over arguments he had with other primitives, wreaking possible cardiac damage--and limited his time hanging around Skins's island.
The pie-and-jam primitive, the grasswire primitive, probably began having spells, and is now sequestered in "assisted living" somewhere, denied access to the internet.
The defrocked warped primitive, like a big old mean rattlesnake who's been hit on the head with a garden-spade several times, but wasn't killed, has sullenly slithered away into a deep dark hole somewhere.
And that's just the deterioration of the cooking and baking forum, not of other forums--the mental health forum's dead without the subway cat, now medicatedly lobotomized--it's a decline all over Skins's island.
nadin's as boring as Hell. Poor stupid Beth's now even more boring than that.
And too last December, the Great Equalizer took away from this time and place Chief S itting Bull, the Greatest Primitive Ever, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive.
There are no more Great Primitives; only the dull stale boring
lumpenunterprimitiven, the amorphous blob, the faceless lynch mob.
