That was great, and the DUmp should take notice on tips for writing an outstanding bouncy! I loved the "quickly and cautiously finished our shopping."
It gave a great mind's eye of two moonbats looking furtively around, throwing anything in the basket, mincing about, panic in their eyes.
The neck pulse checking, I believe, is an original in the annals of bouncies. It may be replicated at the real DUmp.