Author Topic: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015  (Read 34850 times)

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Offline franksolich

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official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« on: November 21, 2015, 09:01:14 PM »
Welcome to the official nomination thread for the Top DUmmies of 2015!


This thread will be unlocked circa suppertime on Thanksgiving Eve, Wednesday November 25; it is being posted early so as to give participants notice of the rules.

Due to circumstances in my real life, the Top DUmmies is now under new management, although I’ve been asked to start the nomination and voting threads.  I know who they are, but it’s up to the new management—there’s more than one individual involved—to reveal, or not to reveal, their own identities, including authorship of the awards.

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Nominations will be accepted for the Top DUmmies of 2015 beginning Thanksgiving Eve, Wednesday, November 25, circa suppertime, and ending Saturday, December 5, circa suppertime.

Voting will take place from Sunday, December 6, circa suppertime, through Wednesday, December 16, circa suppertime.

The rules for voting will be on the official voting thread; this of course is the official nomination thread.

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DUmmies eligible for nomination and election are those members of democraticunderground who made an appearance sometime during the year 2015.  It doesn’t make any difference the number of appearances or the length of appearances; just to the DUmmie was actually on democraticunderground.

DUmmies no longer on democraticunderground are eligible for nomination and election, as long as they conform with the requirement above.

- - - - - - - - - -

Any member of conservativecave is eligible to make nominations, and there is no limit to the number of nominations one can make; although, seriously, they should be legitimate nominations, no outliers, so as to keep the ballot from being too long.

Those running the Top DUmmies of 2015 have the right to reject nominations they deem frivolous.

One nominates by commenting on this thread, and it helps if one gives at least half a sentence describing why the nominated DUmmie is worthy of consideration.

- - - - - - - - - -

Nominations are sought for Top DUmmies, of which there are ten.

Nominations are also sought for the William Rivers Pitt award, the “Willie,” given the most-memorable DUmmie of the past fourteen years (i.e., not just 2015).

The “Willie” is a one-time award; previous winners not eligible for nomination and selection.

Previous winners of the “Willie” have been TomInTib, William Pitt and BouncyBall (tie), nadinbrzezinski, Alan Grayson, undergroundpanther, and DainBramaged.  Please don’t waste time nominating one of these, as they won’t be on the ballot anyway.

All previous winners of all awards may be viewed at http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=66225.0

- - - - - - - - - -

There will be a twelfth award—but one not subject to nomination and voting—the franksolich, given the DUmmie I personally consider has been overlooked by the wisdom of the people; franksolich is the sole determinant and writer of that award.

- - - - - - - - - -

The Top DUmmies is the most popular event of conservativecave during the year, among both members and lurkers, and the more who participate, the better it is, the more fun it is. 
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Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2015, 02:32:14 PM »
Okay, I’m going to unlock this thread and open up nominations for the Top DUmmies of 2015, which will be allowed for about the next ten days.

To start off, I’m nominating Lamond, MrScorpio, for a spot among the Top DUmmies.  The rectal aperture’s not my choice for top primitive, but I think he justly belongs somewhere in the top ten.

As most here already know, Lamond is an insufferable ass who’s much greater in his own imagination than he is in the real world.  He’s been this way since he first came ashore Skin’s island more than ten years ago.

My main bitch is how he constantly disparages the cerebrality of decent and civilized people, sort of like a retarded kid bashing Albert Einstein for being “stupid.”  I’m sure that in any test measuring intelligence, either giving him bonus points for affirmative action, or subtracting some points from franksolich because of my white privilege, it’s pretty clear who’d end up the higher scorer.

That’s just an irritant, however; what’s considerably more serious is the desultory, negligent, non-caring way he’s treated one of his own, bravenak, the past few months.

When bravenak came forth showing an anonymous letter she’d received, Lamond instantly opened his big mouth, “I’ll find out who wrote it; don’t you worry about it.”

After which the lazy slug didn’t do a damned thing.

Inbetweentimes, bravenak’s lived in terror of some unknown Bernie bully out to hurt her.  bravenak’s a little itty-bitty thing, and has only a fingernail file and some hat-pins to defend herself; it wouldn’t take much to do her in.

One suspects that if bravenak had been some blonde white chick, Lamond would’ve been all over the case, and long ago solved it. 

Now, how’s bravenak supposed to feel about that?
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2015, 03:42:07 PM »
I am trying to think of the primitives and DUmmies whom coach franksolich has given the best and most advice, then ignored it.
Whomever fits that bill the best will be my nominee.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2015, 04:05:11 PM »
While sitting around waiting for the snow and ice to move into the Sandhills, I thought of Primitives Past, for whom the William Rivers Pitt award, the "Willie," was created.

The first primitive who comes to mind is the late Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, Redstone.

He's been loose of this mortal coil a few years now, but his rage, his anger, his hate, his resentment, still shine brightly, as if a faraway star lasting long past its light.

I've nominated Chief S itting Bull every year since the Willie was first devised; maybe this year will be his year.  I surely hope he wins it before I myself die.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2015, 04:39:49 PM »
I'll get a few of the obvious ones out of the way that need no explanation or introduction:

nadinbrzezinski

grasswire 

Omaha Steve


Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2015, 11:12:58 PM »
randys1 for his epic, nonsensical rants and impotent rage

Bravenack for faking a letter threatening alert stalk her, and getting put on vacation right afterwards


Offline Maverick1987

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2015, 01:18:26 AM »
randys1 for his epic, nonsensical rants and impotent rage

+1

randy would likely sacrifice one or more of his kids to help atone for his heaping levels of white privilege. Anything less would be "racist"

Deplorable since 2016

Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2015, 10:42:07 AM »
Today's nomination; how about the torched bitch primitive, TorchtheWitch, who got tossed out of her home for nonpayment of rent and destruction of the property, and then spurned all attempts by the primitives to help her?

Her ingratitude to Ms. Piggy, who did her best to handle the dog issue, stands out in particular.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2015, 02:38:28 PM »
DUmmies who couldn't even scam their fellow DUmmies out of wish a dupe or other begging schemes should be given due consideration.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline fatboy

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2015, 07:09:55 PM »
Fred Sanders

Second string player for sure but first in the class of blowhards.
"We will bring back our jobs. We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth - and we will bring back our dreams!" -President Donald J. Trump 1/20/17

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"You've been talking about Russia for the last three years, all day, every day then all of a sudden it comes out that the whole thing is a hoax...and all of a sudden they want to talk about health care. “This is why they're going to lose. This is why they're going to lose in 2020.”
-Eric Trump 4/12/19

"Maybe third time’s the charm for Joe Biden to at least win the nomination" -Laura Trump 4/24/19

Offline tanstaafl

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2015, 06:47:15 AM »
Several worthy DUmmies, as I see it, that haven't yet made the cut. Not a list of ten plus Willie as some of my picks have already been naminated, Granted, the field is slim this year, but we;ll make do.

the Rockhead primitive, Mineralman
the bloody hatchet primitive, Ericbloodaxe. (the wuss)
the Charles Schultz "Pigpen" true mud primitive, trumad
our own intrepid, cheapskate interloping primitive, buzzclick (who, BTW, hasn't come back ti CC since he gave us the what for for not donating enough to the poor people.)
of course, the list would not be complete without the wishie-washie, somedays a bernout, others a hilterite. manny goldstien

and my perennial favorite for the WILLIE, the crying neckbeard primitive, Omaha Steve, of "I'm dying" fame. He should at least win one election before he kicks the bucket.

Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2015, 07:04:29 AM »
Several worthy DUmmies, as I see it, that haven't yet made the cut. Not a list of ten plus Willie as some of my picks have already been naminated, Granted, the field is slim this year, but we;ll make do.

the Rockhead primitive, Mineralman
the bloody hatchet primitive, Ericbloodaxe. (the wuss)
the Charles Schultz "Pigpen" true mud primitive, trumad
our own intrepid, cheapskate interloping primitive, buzzclick (who, BTW, hasn't come back ti CC since he gave us the what for for not donating enough to the poor people.)
of course, the list would not be complete without the wishie-washie, somedays a bernout, others a hilterite. manny goldstien

and my perennial favorite for the WILLIE, the crying neckbeard primitive, Omaha Steve, of "I'm dying" fame. He should at least win one election before he kicks the bucket.

Good choices, sir, and I'm happy I'm not writing the awards this year.

Suppose for example my good pal Manny were to win one of the top ten spots; what could franksolich possibly write about Manny in a humorous, ridiculing vein, given my open-mouthed admiration of his awesome charm, his charisma?
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Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2015, 01:43:37 PM »
Lest he fall in between the cracks, I'm nominating diabeticman.

The guy's no threat to our rights and liberties, our way of life, or the Constitution--unlike many primitives are--but he's just strange, really strange, and that needs acknowledged.
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Offline Carl

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2015, 01:57:48 PM »
I am going to start off with a dark horse that is along the same line as Fred and that is Rex.
Just plain stupid and obnoxiously obtuse.
Follows Octafish around sucking up to him about the BFEE.
Will nominate him at this point as well.

Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2015, 02:05:09 PM »
Nadin, Bravenak, Bainsbane, and Cali.
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Offline Tess Anderson

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #15 on: November 27, 2015, 02:16:54 PM »
I'd like to put forward TheMastersNemisis, aka "One Foot Bob".

Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #16 on: November 27, 2015, 04:53:33 PM »
You know, this afternoon, I suddenly got tired of that self-righteous old bitch, malaise.

She's long overdue for prominence as a Top DUmmie.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2015, 09:57:52 AM »
The one vote I am most certain about is Buzzy.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2015, 11:55:47 AM »
I nominate Bravenak. She not only motivated a real-world letter threatening to alert on her when she got back on DU but also garnered some sympathy here on CC as well as inspiring an impostor who posts here in her name, Fravenak.

Bravenak also has the odd distinction of being a better writer when she stays off the DUmp than when she is on, but is still light years ahead of Fravenak.

Because Bravenak is a somewhat benign DUmmie and yet has had far reaching influence this year I would ask the judges to consider the creation a special award in her honor, the Stan Laurel, named in honor of a character who was benign yet inept and who's actions and circumstances have a more global impact on the character's wider community, albeit, an unintended impact. 

Given the malevolent nature of most DUmmies, this would not be an annual award but one that would be awarded only in those years when there was a Stan Laurel/Bravenak type character that presented itself and had an unintended global impact.

I don't recall there ever being a DUmmie who has had an impact such as Bravenak has had and I doubt there will ever be one again.  But I could be wrong.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #19 on: November 28, 2015, 04:48:58 PM »
Before we forget, the Oshkosh-By-Gosh overalls-wearing Tobin S. primitive.

Like the diabeticman primitive previously mentioned, Tobin's no threat to our way of life, our liberties and freedoms, the Constitution, as many other primitives are, but he sure is funny.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #20 on: November 29, 2015, 07:44:42 AM »
I'd better put this one on the table, lest anyone forget.

thunderthighs, the fizzgig primitive.

She hasn't been around much lately; it's reasonable to assume she's too busy staying constantly high smoking away the dough her paternal grandfather recently left her.  I dunno if it was a lot of money, or just a little bit, but at any rate, she's undoubtedly smoking it, however much it was.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #21 on: November 29, 2015, 07:47:11 AM »
By the way, I've changed my mind.

I've said in the past that while Lamond belongs in the top ten, he's no top DUmmie.

I've now decided he is, and selected myself as his campaign manager to get him in there.

And borrowing from the playbook of the primitives, I'm going to accuse anyone not voting him number one of being a racist, being afraid to have a black man in top spot.
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Offline tanstaafl

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2015, 07:59:31 AM »
By the way, I've changed my mind.

I've said in the past that while Lamond belongs in the top ten, he's no top DUmmie.

I've now decided he is, and selected myself as his campaign manager to get him in there.

And borrowing from the playbook of the primitives, I'm going to accuse anyone not voting him number one of being a racist, being afraid to have a black man in top spot.

Will there be any letters forthcoming?

Can't have a DUmmie page from the DUmmie handbook without an anonymous letter or two that are addressed to the wrong address but still end up in the target's hand, delivered by the USPS.

Offline franksolich

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #23 on: November 29, 2015, 03:00:47 PM »
Will there be any letters forthcoming?

Can't have a DUmmie page from the DUmmie handbook without an anonymous letter or two that are addressed to the wrong address but still end up in the target's hand, delivered by the USPS.

It truly makes one physically ill, seeing ol' Lamond hanging around, laughing and joking with his buds, dispensing advice as if a maharishi, while bravenak goes around her daily life always having to look over her shoulder for a homicidal Bernie bully intent upon doing her in.

I disremember what in the anonymous letter suggest physical violence, if such a suggestion were actually there, but at the time, the primitives alleged there was, and if the primitives said so, well, there you are.

And then ol' Lamond jumped in; "I'll find the jerk who wrote this letter; don't anybody else bother, because I'm s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o smart I'll get it all figured out before anybody else even begins to think....."

After which he did zilch.

In the meantime--she's such a tiny little thing, bravenak--bravenak's added a weapon to defend herself; a meat thermometer, which along with her fingernail file and some hat-pins, she can jab into the Bernie bully pursuing her.

But if ol' Lamond had done as he promised he would, she wouldn't need to.
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Offline Carl

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Re: official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2015
« Reply #24 on: November 29, 2015, 04:04:23 PM »
My nomination for the Willie is likely to be looking up at the roots by now with heroin still oozing from the needle marks...Taverner